Daniel tiptoed into the infirmary and sat down by Janet's bed, as he'd done a hundred times since she'd been brought back to the SGC three days earlier. She hadn't woken up from her coma yet, but he knew that she would any time now. He hated it when he was forced to leave the infirmary for a meal or a nap or something, because he always feared that she would choose exactly that moment to finally come around.
So far, though, she hadn't. She just lay there slowly changing, growing older bit by bit. He was almost glad that she wasn't aware of what was happening. He couldn't imagine how strange or even painful it would be to age so rapidly.
Over the last few hours, though, the changes had slowed to a halt. She was really Janet now - the Janet he knew and loved. He couldn't wait to see her beautiful eyes open and look at him again.
As he sat there lost in thought, he took her hand and started tracing the lines of her veins with his thumb. It was strange to think that they were the same hands that had clung to his shirt just days earlier. They had been so small and frail then, but now they were bigger and stronger again. These were the hands that had nursed him back to health on so many occasions. He was so glad to see that they were finally back to normal.
He let out a heavy sigh as he enveloped her hand with his own. He wished everything would return to normal. He needed her so badly, and having her here but totally unaware of her surroundings was absolute agony.
"Penny for your thoughts."
Daniel looked up in surprise to see those familiar brown eyes staring back at him. "Hey," he said, smiling and squeezing her hand. "You're finally awake."
Janet smiled back. "How long have you been sitting there?"
Daniel could feel his face heat up as he tried to think of a way to answer this question without seeming too forward. She might not remember the events of the past few days, after all, so she might not understand the reason behind his attentions. "Um... three days... on and off," he finally answered.
Janet's mouth fell open in surprise.
"Do you feel okay?" Daniel asked in concern, mostly to change the subject. "I should call Dr. Brightman." He went to get up, but Janet gripped his hand even tighter.
"No... stay."
"Okay." He slowly settled back into his chair and gave her an awkward smile.
"I... I know what happened, Daniel."
"Oh." So she did remember. He wasn't sure whether that was a good thing or a bad thing. "What exactly do you remember?"
She looked thoughtful for a moment, and her eyes were so full of pain that it made Daniel's heart ache. "It's all kind of fuzzy," she said. "I remember... being so small and so frightened... feeling so helpless."
Daniel reached out to stroke her hair as she spoke. He felt he had to do something to comfort her, no matter how small.
She looked up at him and smiled softly. "And I remember you," she went on. "I remember... I sensed something in you that I didn't sense in anyone else. I trusted you. I felt safe with you." She paused and then added, "I think... I think I've always felt that way around you."
"Really?"
Janet nodded. "You wouldn't believe how much better I felt when you were with me. I was so scared at times, but as soon as you would pick me up and hold me..." She suddenly seemed to realize what she was saying, and she blushed and looked away.
The silence that followed wasn't exactly comfortable, so Daniel cleared his throat and reached down under his chair. "Here, I have something for you," he said. He picked up the item that he'd placed there ready for her waking up, and presented it to her with a grin.
"Mush!" Janet grinned back as she took the bear from Daniel's hand. "I thought I'd lost him! Where did you find him?"
"Dr. Brightman found him here in the infirmary. You... must have dropped him when you were... taken away." He swallowed hard, those words not coming easy for him even now.
Janet hugged the bear to her neck and gave Daniel a wobbly smile. "Thank you, Daniel."
"No problem," he said. "I just wish I'd noticed you didn't have him. I wanted you to take him with you..."
"I mean for everything," she interrupted. "For... taking care of me."
Daniel looked down at their intertwined hands, embarrassed. "It was the least I could do," he said. "You were a scared little kid."
"I know there was more to it than that."
Daniel looked up at her again, feeling inexplicably nervous about what she may have remembered that had drawn her to that conclusion. Before he could ask what she meant, however, Dr. Brightman walked in.
"Ah, I see our patient has finally returned to the land of the conscious," she said with a smile. "It's good to see you looking so well, Janet."
Daniel let go of Janet's hand and hopped to his feet. "I'll go wait outside while you check her over," he said, trying not to seem too desperate to get away. "I'll see you later, Janet."
"Okay."
He hurried out of the room without another word, even though the disappointment in Janet's voice made him feel like an absolute jerk for doing so. He just hadn't quite come to terms with his feelings for Janet yet, and to have her seemingly pick up on them so easily was too much.
As much as he hated himself for it, Daniel avoided the infirmary for the next few hours, allowing Jack, Sam, Teal'c, and General Hammond to visit with her in peace. He placed a quick call to Cassie, who had been given a somewhat vague explanation for her mother's absence already, and then took to pacing his office while he tried to figure out what he should do. Should he come right out and tell her how he felt? Should he wait for her to bring the subject up again? What if she did know what was going on inside his heart and felt disgusted by it? What if she'd only wanted him as a friend, and now that he wanted more she was going to push him away?
Why did it all have to be so complicated?
His internal debate was soon interrupted by a soft tap on his office door. "Daniel?"
"Hey, Sam," he greeted the woman standing in the doorway. "How's she doing?"
"Very well, all things considered," Sam said. "She's been asking for you, though."
"Thanks. I uh... I guess I should get back down there, then."
If Sam was concerned or curious about his behaviour, she thankfully didn't show it. She merely stepped aside as Daniel exited his office, and didn't say another word.
When he entered Janet's room, she was lying there with her eyes closed looking so peaceful and beautiful that it took his breath away for a second. Once he regained control of himself, he stepped inside and moved towards the bed.
Janet opened her eyes and turned to beam a smile at him. "There you are. Where have you been?"
"I... was around," he said, suddenly feeling as awkward as a teenager. "H... how are you feeling?"
"Much better," she said. She patted the edge of the bed and gestured for him to come and sit down.
Daniel couldn't believe how much different it felt to be sitting on the edge of grown-up Janet's bed as opposed to little-girl Janet's, but he forced a smile as he perched himself beside her.
"Sam told me about how guilty you've been feeling... about the accident," she said, studying his face closely for his reaction.
Daniel nodded. "It was my stupid mistake that almost cost you your life," he said. "How could I not feel guilty?"
"Yet it was also you that saved me."
He looked down at his hands and didn't answer. This wasn't the time nor the place to argue about who had done what.
"You really don't see it that way, do you?"
He snapped his head up to look at her in surprise. How had she known exactly what he was thinking? "I... no, I don't," he said. "It was Ambrocio who saved you, not me."
"You were the one who found him, weren't you?"
He shrugged and tilted his head from side to side. "I guess so."
"Daniel..." She took his hand and squeezed it. "If there's one thing I remember about the last few days, it's that I would have died if it weren't for you. Not just that you brought back the folleris root, either... it was long before that. I was so frightened, but you made me feel safe. I felt so ill at times, but you made me feel better. You more than made up for your one little mistake, so don't you dare think otherwise."
Tears filled Daniel's eyes at her earnestness. "Thank you."
She smiled and gave his hand another squeeze.
When he realized he was openly staring at her, Daniel cleared his throat and stood up. "Well, I'd uh... I'd better go, let you get some rest," he said, taking a step away from the bed.
Janet didn't let go of his hand, however. "Wait," she said.
Daniel stopped and looked down at her questioningly.
"Could I... this is going to sound silly, but... could I have just... one more hug?"
Daniel's heart melted when he saw the same look of pleading in her eyes that young Janet had given him so many times. He was suddenly overwhelmed by compassion and sympathy for all she had been through, and he sank back onto the bed and wrapped his arms around her.
Janet leaned into the embrace, resting her head against his shoulder and breathing a contented sigh as Daniel automatically took to stroking her hair. The whole thing just felt so comfortable and so right.
"Daniel loves me," Janet said after a minute or two of silence.
His hand stilled as he heard these words, his mind whirling with questions and memories of the past few days. She remembered... she remembered it all. He knew that now beyond the shadow of a doubt. She did know that he'd come to care for her as more than just a friend, and from the way she was hugging him now, it seemed that she didn't mind a bit.
Daniel smiled and placed a tender kiss on her ear. To think it could all be summed up in three little words... but now he had three of his own to add.
"Yes, he does."