It's been quite a while. Two weeks had past, yet everything is back to normal. Asuka can't seem to think straight in class. Had it all been a dream? Rei Ayanami speaking, and crying for her sake. Must have been all those drugs that she had to take. The whole thing made her want to smash Rei's table and demand an answer. Why all silent, after displaying those emotions for me, or was all that an act? A lie. Maybe that's what she will do just now.
She walked past everyone in the classroom. Her wild and raucous classmates didn't seem to notice the anger in her eyes. Because if they did, surely they would get out of her way in an instant. Asuka went straight to the last row, where Ayanami often stays. Funny, wonder girl didn't seem to be there. But her notebook and school things where there. Curiosity crept into Asuka's system. Where could Rei be? And what could be in this notebook. Could there be something about me written in these pages, the German girl thought. She looked around, her head flipping her hair side to side as she did so. Nobody seems to mind, just as always. They're always way too busy with their own lives to bother with mine, Asuka thought. She then slowly sat at Rei's table and began looking at the pages of the first child's notebook.
She could see scribbles, often-unintelligible drawls on the paper, without meaning, without purpose. Or are they what they are? Asuka thought hard, these lines might have had some purpose at one point or another. They may seem insignificant as you see them but.. they could have meant otherwise. They could be Rei's thoughts, frustrations, happiness, gloom. Every one of her emotion might have been released through these lines, or thoughts. What the heck, Asuka thought to herself they're just senseless doodles. She didn't have to make up reasons for Rei's simple actions. She flipped another page. There were names written there. Names of people she'd come to know and care about as well. Misato, Dr. Akagi, Shinji, Hikari, Kensuke, Touji, of course the commander's name was there too. Her name didn't seem to be in the lot.
Asuka felt her temper rising. What the hell? The German thought. Why isn't my name in here? If what Rei said was true then, I should also have my name here somewhere. She banged her hand over Rei's desk in anger. Asuka actually did it way hard that all of her classmates noticed. Each one of them having that puzzled look on their face, Asuka near Rei's table? Touching the girl's things, almost unimaginable. But there Asuka stood, with the hurt look on her face. Hikari, with a look of concern in her eyes, started to walk towards Asuka. However before anyone could even make a move or think of reasons why Asuka was where she was, the second child glared at all of them with a murderous intent. Then she shouted at them "WHAT ARE YOU ALL LOOKING AT?" Even the class rep got scared out of her wits that she stopped dead at her tracks, thinking whether it would be a good idea to go near her. Shinji and the other guys, just shrugged their shoulders and went on with what they were talking about, it's the same old Asuka anyway, as if anything was different.
In fear of what may happen, all the other students just proceeded with what they had been doing, as if the incident never had taken place. Worried, Hikari looked at Asuka, but the other girl didn't seem to notice as if she was in a trance. There she was, Asuka Langley Soryu, looking every bit like the shell of her former self, the one that had been catatonic, almost lifeless, for two weeks due to an angel attack.
Asuka felt a lump in her throat threatening to overwhelm her. She suppressed it, grabbed Rei's notebook and ran out of the classroom. She ran as far as her legs could bring her. She can't let her classmates see her weakness, her tears that were now running across her cheeks. The second child found herself at the rooftop. She clenched her fist and hit the concrete walls repeatedly. It wasn't because Rei missed her name in the list it was beyond that. Asuka was feeling desperate, confused, and lonely. She couldn't understand why she was feeling like this. "Mom, why am I acting like this, this ain't me. I've never felt dependent on anyone all my life. And all of a sudden I'm looking up to her for approval, for care, for everything. What should I do?" Asuka slumped down at the pavement, crying. She gathered her legs and hugged her knees to her chests, letting all emotions go.
Back at the classroom of 2nd yr section 1, class had started. The old teacher noticed Asuka's absence, since it had never been this quiet in his class where Asuka and Shinji sat near each other. But he just went on with his boring old lectures about the second impact and Japanese History in general, as if everything was just as before. Nevertheless the teacher kind of liked it.
Hikari, usually attentive and conscious when the teacher's around couldn't even sit still. She kept looking at the classroom door. Hikari was hoping Asuka would just walk in and act as if nothing happened. She kept running her fingers through her brown hair, fidgeting and worried. The class rep turned to look idly at the moving picture outside the window to keep her from thinking about the redhead. She'd seen Asuka furious, sad, weird and happy, but she'd never seen that look of desperation and need in the second child ever before. There must be a problem she thought but what? Her mind was going around in whirls of thought, each one contradicting the other. If not they were just to fantastic for Hikari to believe. Then she suddenly remembered, Asuka was standing beside the table where Rei often sat, clutching a notebook and shaking with anger. In the first place why had the second child been so angry, enough for her to almost wreck Ayanami's table? Yes, Asuka disliked Rei, but not in a sense that she would go on a violent display of emotions. Does it have something to do with Wonder Girl's notebook? The more Hikari thought about it the more she was getting confused and she was so busy with thinking that she didn't even notice it was already lunch.
Still gaping and lost in thought, Hikari was still sitting at her desk; not knowing fifteen minutes had passed. Shinji, Kensuke, and Touji found this weird. Was there something wrong; was Hikari so upset she didn't feel like having lunch? Touji, whom she always made lunch for was obviously getting irritable with hunger.
"I can't take this any longer!" Touji said to the two boys.
"Hey, bro calm down." Shinji told him. "Let's just tag her along to lunch right now. Maybe that would snap her out of it."
And so the three boys slowly walked to her direction. To their surprise, Ayanami Rei got to Hikari first; they didn't even notice her walk past them. It was as if she had just popped out of nowhere. There was something odd about Rei, Shinji thought. Usually she'd just head out to some recluse place at break time but why was she here, talking to Hikari?
"Hey guys let's just watch them for a while." The younger Ikari said, stretching his arms out to stop Touji and Kensuke.
Grumbling, Touji complained. "But I'm so hungry already."
"Shhhh!" Kensuke warned them. "Look, Rei seems to be very grave. She must have something very important to tell Hikari. Come on Touji maybe lunch can wait a little bit longer."
Though very upset, Touji had been overcome by curiosity. "Alright fine. Let's look on a while."
Nearer to Hikari and Rei –
"Hikari, have you seen pilot Soryu? Did she come to class? Her things are here. Is she sick, that she had to go home early, or the Commander had sent for her for synch ratio tests?" Rei asked Hikari in a hurried, and very worried manner. Her thoughts spewing out of her mouth as soon as it had registered in her brain.
Hikari looked at the first child, amazed and puzzled. Is this really Rei talking to me? And about Asuka among all people, the class rep thought. And as Hikari observed, Ayanami's crimson eyes seemed to be swirling. Troubled? Hikari couldn't point a finger to what exactly it was. It seemed that Rei had been totally dependent on something and suddenly lost it. It's as if she seemed directionless. For once Hikari didn't feel indifference or snobbishness; Rei was just being human, just like her and everyone else. Though the first child did look and act different from everyone, she did have feelings. Maybe she just didn't want others to see. Then it dawned on her, the pain she saw in Ayanami's eyes were the same as the grief that she had seen in Asuka's hours before.
"Uhm, Rei, yes Asuka was here earlier, but she left. If I'm not mistaken she got one of your notebooks." Hikari told the blue haired girl, with all honesty. "And, to tell you, she was kind of distraught with whatever she had read. Ayanami, is there anything discriminating or derogatory written against her in your notebook?"
"My notebook...?" Rei asked herself, puzzled.
At the canteen, people were all trying to buy their lunch. It was noisy and pretty hot with all the other students going about, talking and playing during their break. At the far corner of the room, five children huddled in deep conversation, with an exception of course a very hungry boy who wears gym wear all the time.
"You mean you care for Asuka a lot?" Hikari asked.
"You don't seem like it Rei, it's a surprise really." The young Ikari stated.
"Hmmmm, maybe it had something to do with your father Shinji" Kensuke exclaimed, grinning at his joke.
To this all the other children glared at him even the often-cool Ayanami.
"Cool it, I was just kidding NERVous chuckle sorry." The four-eyed military geek apologized.
"OK, let me get this straight, you like Asuka, but you haven't told exactly how it is with her?" Hikari probed Ayanami to answer.
"Yes. I'm just too terrified to do so." Rei spoke of her dilemma.
Terrified must be an understatement. Petrified to inaction may be more apt for the first child's situation. She's never used to saying anything, most of all her feelings. It can be seen everyday, how she goes through her routines, in school, at the base, she just hardly talks. Rei just can't see the sense in burdening other people with ones own problem. But everyone, even Asuka who constantly bugs her finds this odd, hence throwing tantrums at Rei just to get something, but it's still zilch.
However when Asuka got confined to the hospital, Rei went. And there she seemed to have courage to say everything and anything. Talking to a sleeping/unconscious person? Weird? Definitely, but this made her more aware of everything Asuka and her had in common. When Asuka was forcing her to react, she couldn't. Now Rei wants her to wake up, and somehow snap at her, the German won't. Rei realized she did want attention, and care, but doesn't know how to get around it. Nobody taught her how. Nobody tried to make it important for her; it's no big deal. Nobody did, except for Asuka Langley Soryu. And now the second child's awake, she couldn't tell her anything because she's scared. Scared, of what Asuka might think and say. The image of a highly irritable girl with red hair shouting at her, laughing at her were the ones that kept popping in her head.
Rei was in tears as she had gone through the details with, Hikari and Shinji; the only ones who seemed interested on an emotional level that is. Rei just held on to Hikari's hand, squeezing it tight.
"Hey, hey, hey. Go easy on my hand, my fingers are turning blue already" Hikari said.
"Gomen, I didn't mean to..." Rei tried to apologized then looked at the class rep.
What she saw was a very warm smile. "Don't worry, blue fingers might look good on me. Cheer up, Ayanami, I'll help you find Asuka"
"I'll help too, you deserve someone better than Dad you know." Shinji volunteered.
Out of absent-mindedness, Kensuke blurted out his perverted thoughts, "Wow, two pretty girls making out what a sight."
Without warning three fists landed on Kensuke's head making his crown look like a mountain range.
"Stop it, ok, ok, I won't say anything like that anymore. I'd help too." Pleaded Kensuke.
"Help who?" Touji asked lifting his head from the now empty plate.
"Rei, you knucklehead." Everyone said in unison.
BLAG...