Padme remained on the floor beside Obi-Wan. She looked at his still form. She took in his handsome, bearded face. She moved him and placed his head in her lap. She lightly ran her fingers along the worry lines around his eyes. It broke her heart to see him like this, to know that it was her fault he had been captured. She swallowed down the lump in her throat and blinked away her tears.
Back when Anakin was still Anakin, she and Obi-Wan had both noticed the changes starting to occur in him. Obi-Wan had not been pleased, to say the least, with Anakin for marrying Padme. He had seen it as a betrayal of the Jedi Order. She had been the one to break the news to Obi-Wan.
She had come back to Coruscant after she and Anakin were married to attend to her duties as a senator. The Jedi Council had not thought it wise and Anakin had hated the idea. But she was a strong-willed person. She had wanted to fulfill her duties to Naboo, no matter what.
She and Anakin had stolen moments together whenever they could. Almost immediately, she had started to sense Anakin changing. He had started to become restless and frustrated. He had started to lose his temper more and more, though rarely with her. But the Clone Wars had taken both him and Obi-Wan away for months at a time. They had been the best pilots, the best fighters in the Republic. Obi-Wan had been heralded as the greatest general. Anakin had became a household name. His escapades on the battlefield had become legendary.
Each time when Anakin and Obi-Wan had come back from those battles, she would find her husband more changed. He had become more…arrogant. But it had been more than arrogance, there had been an underlying danger in it. He had become suspicious, even paranoid. Anger always seemed to be boiling just beneath the surface. Sometimes the look on his face and in his eyes had given her the chills.
It had been during one of their first few respites back on Coruscant when Padme had decided to talk to Obi-Wan. She had wanted to know if he had been sensing the same things about Anakin. She had needed his counsel. And she had known that she had to be completely honest with Obi-Wan about everything.
Obi-Wan had been surprised at the news of their marriage. He had told her that Anakin had to have extremely well built mental shields to keep that knowledge away from their Master/Padawan bond. That fact, in and of itself, disturbed him greatly. But it had also confirmed what he was beginning to sense about Anakin – Anakin was dismissing more and more of the Jedi Code.
Padme had confided all of her observations and fears to Obi-Wan about her changing husband. Part of her had almost hoped he would tell her that there was nothing to worry about, that Anakin was still the sweet, loving soul he used to be. But those small hopes were dashed. Obi-Wan had been sensing it to the same degree, and even more. He had felt like Anakin was slipping further and further away from him and the Jedi. He had felt a darkness starting to form in him. He had admitted that he no longer trusted Anakin.
To hear Obi-Wan say he no longer trusted Anakin had been devastating to Padme. It had put into words what she had not been able to say herself. She had gotten to the point where she didn't trust him anymore either. She did trust Obi-Wan. He had always been a calm, strong, steady presence. She had been very glad to have his counsel and his friendship.
Padme, still sitting on the floor with Obi-Wan, then remembered her last visit with him before he and Anakin had left for the battles of the Outer Rim. She had known they would be gone for many months. She had desperately needed to tell him something. Obi-Wan had been able to sense her distress immediately.
He put his hand on her shoulder. "Padme, what is it?"
"I'm pregnant, Obi!"
Obi-Wan's face fell.
"I haven't told Anakin. Something told me not to. He's been a different person altogether since you got back from the last battles. His eyes no longer have any warmth. He never smiles anymore. I can feel a cloud of anger around him. It's almost suffocating, Obi!" She was pacing back and forth in front of Obi-Wan. She stopped her pacing and looked into his eyes. "This should be happy news! But all I feel is dread! Why am I feeling like this?" She broke down, holding her face in her hands.
Obi-Wan held her close, tears coming to his own eyes. She clung to him like a life-saver. "It's my fault, Padme."
Padme stopped and looked into Obi-Wan's eyes in surprise. "Your fault? How in the world is this your fault?"
"I trained him. I knew that he had a hard time controlling his emotions, but nothing I did helped. I wasn't a strong enough teacher."
"Anakin's choices are his own, Obi-Wan. You have been a wonderful Master to him. Besides, weren't you the one who warned Qui-Gon that he was dangerous to train? Didn't you only take on Anakin's training because Qui-Gon made you promise you would? Didn't you tell me that you had told the Jedi Council, more than once, that you were worried about Anakin's arrogance and lack of emotional control?"
"Yes, but…"
Padme cut him off. "But nothing! Anakin is his own person. You can't force him to learn and you can't force him to make the right choices."
Obi-Wan smiled faintly. "I thought I was supposed to be comforting you right now."
Padme squeezed his arm and offered a small smile. "You have. You've been a constant source of support since I told you about my marriage to Anakin. The least I can do is return the favor."
Obi-Wan decided to get back to the subject at hand. "Padme, I wish I could tell you that your feelings about your pregnancy are unwarranted, but I can't…" He stopped and looked into her eyes. "Do you trust me, Padme?"
"Yes," she answered without hesitation.
"Good." He led her to sit down. He sat down beside her and took her hand. "I also sense great danger in telling Anakin. He must not know! Don't tell anyone about your pregnancy! Hide it. Do whatever you can to disguise it as long as you can. I will send you a healer that I know and trust. She will watch over you and make sure your pregnancy is a healthy one. She will act as one of your handmaids. She will be the only other one to know. I will find a way to come back from the Outer Rim as soon as I can. We will decide what to do at that time."
Padme nodded her head in resignation….