I don't own Teen Titans
The Door by Ransomed Heart
It seems like I find myself here a lot. It's a weakness of mine, I think, to always come back here, like a lost puppy.
This door has always been here, with the exception of a few times where it has been busted down, usually by me, and sometimes Cyborg too. Most would see it as nothing more than a door. I see it as a barrier meant to keep Raven isolated. It is the shield from behind which she keeps careful control of her world. She also uses it to keep the rest pf us away, which hurts us sometimes.
It's not that we don't want to understand her, because we do, me especially. But with Raven, no close relations means no getting hurt. And she would rather be alone that allow herself to be hurt by anyone.
This door, though as plain and simplistic as any other, is an unbreakable wall that keeps me away from Raven.
How many times have I stood here and mumbled apologies for some transgression? For the careless words spouted from my own stupid mouth? I want nothing more than for her to open the door and invite me in for once. I want to see her world, as long as it doesn't include her mirror. I know that if even one of us understood her, Raven would open up.
But the door doesn't open. No matter how hard I knock, the door to Raven's heart remains closed.
Am I weak for always coming back? Is it foolish for me to stand here day after day?
Is it love?
If it isn't, I don't know what is. I have begun to realize that there is a difference between love and true love. Terra was love. With Raven, it is different. I think about her, worry about her. I feel as though I could talk to her for hours with no uncomfortable pauses. I get excited when I think about seeing her, and insanely happy.
Yet there is always the door. Somehow it always comes back to the door. But the more I wait, the more I have started to realize that eventually the door will have to open.
So, I guess I'll just keep knocking.