A/N: Thank you all so much for your kind reviews! I'm happy this is entertaining people, and promise that I will update more often!

By the time they had reached the top of the stairs Sharpe had fallen asleep, so it was more a case of Perks and Sirius dragging him across the landing, past the bathroom and into the spare bedroom where they lumped him on his back on the bed, where he immediately began to snore loudly. That done, they went to head back downstairs.

Wrinkling his nose at the inevitable overused toilet-at-party whiff, Sirius halted and pushed open the toilet door. He stepped back as he caught sight of a hunched figure sprawled over the toilet. It was James "Prongs" Potter, the Dark Lord-thwarting, poor excuse for a piss-artist Auror, asleep with his head half in the bowl – snoring - loudly.

It was a pretty amusing sight.

His long-time schoolmate slouched against the doorframe and let out an amused snort. "Bollocks – James! Lils will go mad!"

Perks grinned as he too peered into the bathroom. "Too right she will. Especially if that dark patch's what I think it is on the carpet!"

Sirius took the fag out of his mouth to roll it casually between thumb and forefinger. "Perky mate. Don't get your knickers in a twist - there's nothing a good cleaning spell can't do in the morning – even when it comes to dried-in, retched-up blackcurrant. Except if you're a bloody dickweed of a useless Wormtail, that is. He would have a problem transfiguring a twig into a stick!"

The Hufflepuff took out a half-eaten bag of party snacks from a hidden pocket in his robes and began to munch thoughtfully. "Shall we move him?"

"We-ll it'd probably be a good thing – seeing as it's the only bog this place has," he remarked sarcastically. "Would you think it groovy if some drunk bastard came along and took a slash on your head?"

"Who would!" snickered the Hufflepuff lightly.

Black raised an eyebrow and nonchalantly blew out a breath of smoke.

"Snape."

Perks snorted, hiccoughed and nearly choked on his mouthful of Cheesy Party Nibbles.

Lupin was more confused than he had been in a while. He had even resorted to looking in the living room and there was still no sign of Snape. Now he was loitering in the hallway again, still with the suspicious telltale empty glass. Maybe he should just fill it part full with water and pretend it was Vodka?

Now to disclose a really awful secret that Remus Lupin never liked to disclose to anybody – not even his fellow Marauders knew about it. This was the secret of his sense of smell. It wasn't anywhere near as powerful between moons, but it was at least a couple of times more powerful than any normal humans.

The reason why he didn't tell anyone this was pretty obvious. Who in hell would ever want to be told that you could smell them coming half the room off? Could tell by the smell exactly who was in a room without even opening his eyes, and tell them if their feet smelt?

Now that was one freakishly un-funky party trick if anything was. He could just imagine the girls going running after that one.

No one was in the hallway. Lupin dilated his nostrils. Snape was not upstairs, because his scent wasn't on the staircase. Nor had he gone near the front door, or through into the kitchen. Yet his scent was stronger in the hallway than in any other room.

There was a sudden crash from the kitchen followed by a few guffaws of laughter. Lupin wrinkled his nose. He didn't even want to make a guess at what they were doing in there.

'Ooh, Reamie!'

Lupin shut his eyes. He had smelt that coming.

Gracie fluttered her eyelashes at him. 'Staying all on your lonesome, or were you coming in to get a top up?'

Remus swallowed. 'Erm-'

'And where's Lily? She went to get another couple of bottles ages ago. We're parched in here!'

Remus pulled at a strand of his bleached hair nervously (Sirius had actually bleached it for him – said it looked cool. Not that Remus ever really got the hang of fashion.)

'Er – I don't know,' he lied, thinking that Lily probably wouldn't want to be found if a milkman was willingly taking off his clothes for her.

Gracie began to smirk. As she leaned in closer, Lupin had to try his hardest not to wrinkle his nose up at her breath, which smelt like a winery.

'Is he a real blonde?'

Lupin opened then shut his mouth awkwardly. "Er, bleached."

Gracie smiled and tapped her nose knowingly.'

'Ahh – the dishy Muggle milkman. Her secret will be safe with us, won't it Reamie?!' she cackled.

"Which secret – the bleach one or the Lily one?" commented Lupin offhandedly, but Gracie was too busy laughing at her own joke to hear it.

"Who is he?" he asked, a little louder over her mirth.

Gracie shrugged, and propped herself up on the doorframe to hide the telltale drunken sway. 'He's the local friendly milkman – that's all I've heard. Who cares? She's just having a little bit of fun!"

Their conversation was then cut off by a few people stumbling into the hallway – namely Sirius, Perks and their drunken cargo. Lupin raised his eyebrows as he saw who they were carrying, and was about to comment, when Gracie half dragged him into the living room out of their way.

"Remus! How dare you have an empty glass!"

Lily had almost got as far as undoing his garish kipper tie, before she paused, and frowned. "But that's what you always say. 'Your Local Friendly Milkman.' Surely you can tell me a bit more about yourself than that?"

Norway looked at her meaningfully. His dark eyes both confused and entranced her. They were hypnotic, as was his decidedly well-spoken voice. It was artificial, of course – the posh accent - not the real thing like James's. But it was this that intrigued her far more – the idea of mystery lying behind it. As was the mystery behind his dyed hair. Sometimes she was far too reckless for her own good.

He grinned impishly, the corners of his eyes wrinkling up. "Okay. I am Your Local, Friendly, Platform Shoe-loving Milkman!"

"Seriously now!" pouted Lily, giving the Kipper tie a moody tug and keeping firm hold of it as if it were a lead attached to a naughty dog. "You do this every time I ask you to be serious, Nigel. I've been honest with you, why won't you be honest with me!"

"Because -" he replied in a low whisper, coming so close to her ear as to brush it with his lips, "– I much prefer being a joker."

Lily couldn't help tingling all over as he pulled away. Smiling, she took tighter hold of his tie and pulled him back. "Aren't jokers supposed to entertain people? You aren't being very entertaining."

Her persuasive smile faltered, however, when Nigel suddenly took hold of her hands and prised them gently, yet firmly off his tie. "As you can see by the enthusiastic way you are handling my tie, you are quite capable of entertaining yourself, Miss Evans."

Lily wasn't phased. "And what makes you so knowledgeable about that, Mister Norway?" she smiled cheekily, leaning closer in. "Kiss me."

Nigel paused and looked around cautiously, an uncertain look seeming to flit in his eyes. "As much as I'd -"

Lily scoffed, and made a grab for him. Norway was having none of it however, and swang her round rather roughly, pinning her at arm's length against the closed dining room door. When Lily giggled and tried to move away, Nigel just held her more tightly.

Lily's eyes grew wide. "Local Friendly Milkman?" she exclaimed, "trapping a customer in their dining room is hardly friendly, Nigel."

"You're hardly a customer," muttered Nigel, keeping hold of her.

Lily blinked. "Hardly a? Since when did I?"

"And I'm not trapping you in. If anyone's being trapped here, it's me!" he replied hotly. "No offence, but I'd rather not kiss you."

Lily pouted for a moment in exasperation, before slumping moodily back against the door. "Oh. It's like that, is it? I'M trapping YOU?"

"No – it's not like that at all! I can't say what's trapping me, but trust me – it's not you." Nigel leaned in closer, his eyes glinting slightly. "And I can't tell you more about myself either. If I told you that, I'm afraid I will have to -"

Lily felt herself shrink away at the tone of his voice. He sounded strange, and the odd look in his eye scared her a little. "Nigel?"

Nigel gave a weary sigh and hung his head. "Lily, it hurts to be unable to explain – but now is not the best time -"

"Not the best time? So when? Will five-thirty a.m. over the semi-skimmed do for you?" Lily challenged derisively. "Or perhaps I need to order more things like orange juice and cheese, or charm the change to stick to the bottom of the milk bottle just to give you time to explain?"

Nigel scowled back at her. "Don't joke."

"Why? All right for jokers, but not all right for anyone else?!" she exclaimed more loudly.

"Shush Lily!"

Before Lily had time to retort back though, the room was abruptly plunged into darkness.

Snape scowled. He didn't understand. The damned vacuum thing worked this way – why the hell wouldn't the light work the same way? He flicked another switch down with a clunk, then another, becoming more and more annoyed. It was all elec-treesity as far as he understood. After spending the time groping around in the dark to hunt one out, you'd think by process of elimination one of them would've worked!

"Damned bloody Muggles! click Why have so many switches in a room, click and have none of the blasted things work the light!"

Click.

"Bugger!" yelled Sirius, colliding with a doorframe, and almost dropping the deadweight of a James Potter down the stairs as the landing suddenly became pitch black. "Why'd Lily insist on keeping the bloody Muggle electric when they moved in? What's wrong with a few light charms here and there!"

"Erm," panted Perks, trying to hold Potter upright and make sense of the gloom. "Maybe because it reminds her of home? My aunt was Muggleborn and we couldn't keep her away from the television!"

Sirius laughed bitterly. "Hah. Must be nice to get all nostalgic about home!"

"Oh, dear."

"What's happened Remus?"

"Well, it might be a fuse blown. The trip switch has switched the lights off. I expect Lily will see to it."

"And what's a fuse Reamie dear? Oh, he's so knowledgeable!"

Remus sighed.

"Ooh!" squealed Wormtail. "The light's gone off!"

Lily huffed. "Oh, that flipping trip switch!"

There was a blank pause. "Trip Switch?"

"The cut off point for the electric in the house. I expect a bulb's blown. Give me a second and I'll do it."

Nigel moved forward and pulled her away from the door. "Not in your state you won't."

Lily shrank back and blinked blindly upwards. If only there was light, she could see what expression was fixed on her!

He grabbed her wrist, she tried to pull it around behind her, but he pulled it back.

"Please," he begged, gently.

There was a pause. He wasn't holding her roughly this time – but firmly. Lily took in a breath and relaxed her muscles. She heard him sigh in relief before taking her hand and enclosing it in both his. His voice was soft, and somehow mournful.

"I can't tell you how I know this – now is not the best time. But I know you are in danger, you and James."

Lily's breath hitched as Nigel's voice came closer. He was sending shivers down her spine again.

"There is a Death Eater in this house."