Chapter Fifteen

Seven-Up

Jasmine...jasmine...jasmine...

Snape breathed in deeply once again, his nose buried in a soft green nightie. He appeared to be caught in some sort of odd daydream.

Jasmine...jasmine...

All of a sudden there was a mad clatter of footsteps coming up the stairs. Snapping out of his reverie, Snape dropped the shirt and tried to turn, but his reactions were at least half the speed they usually were, and he just couldn't position himself right in time to regain proper balance, and fell out of the airing cupboard.

So it was to his utter mortification when Lily and Lupin rounded the corner to find him lying spread-eagled on his back at the top of the stairs.

"Severus!" exclaimed Lily, worriedly.

"Shhh-shh!" hissed Lupin, alarmed.

"Ouch," muttered Severus sourly, rubbing the back of his head.

Downstairs in the front room, subtly avoiding the rowdy kitchen this chapter, some of the girls were still finding Sirius Black's venture into their midst a big talking point. So much so, that they were spoiling the Murder game with their constant sniggering.

"Did you see his face," hissed one. "Such a giggle!"

"Girls – can we play this now?" came a irritable voice through the darkness. "Just because we've turned the lights off doesn't mean I can't recognise who's making a "

The giggling stopped.

"Okay – Gracie, spin the wand and choose our next murderer. No cheating please."

Gracie made an offended noise in her throat. "As if I would! Deligo lusor!"

There was a slight whirring noise as the wand spun. The players listened nervously for the wand to stop spinning. Once it had done that it would then move to pick the murderer anonymously by tapping one of them lightly on the cheek. Or it should have done – if their game hadn't been disturbed by the living room door creaking open and causing the room to be flooded with enough light for them all to see the wand pick Paula as the murderer.

They tutted and looked round as the solid shape of the Potters' silly dog bounded in, tail wagging, bright eyes shining happily in the darkness. Several wine glasses tipped over. A chilli dip toppled and went splat. Immediately, she swang round and before anyone could stop her, began to lap the hot dip straight up from the floor, making loud slopping sounds.

"Oh, Doobs!!"

Spencer Sharpe was just putting the Rennies back in the cupboard when he heard a clatter of footsteps coming up the stairs, followed by a loud thud just outside on the landing. His eyebrows rose as he heard frantic whispering.

Whatever was going on?!

He moved to the door before remembering with horror about the spilled pills still on the floor. Bending down he hurriedly began to collect them up.

Now – the little ones went in that tub, the big ones...where did the big ones go?

"Don't touch me, you mangy wur, - you wuourlf!" slurred a familiar voice just outside. "Eye-ull hex you – I sweer eye will! An then eye-ul...Argh!"

"Shhhh!"

The pills all collected, he then turned to grab up the potion bottles and hurriedly stuffed everything onto the front row of the bottom shelf. The voices were coming nearer.

"What about Pepper up?"

"No – we don't want him sober again. Can you imagine?"

"Sleeping potion then?"

There was a short pause and then a sigh. "Probably the quietest way to get him out of here."

"But – I still need to -"

Sharpe decided that this was the moment to open the bathroom door.

"Agh!"

They all jumped in spite of themselves. Suddenly devoid of support, a black robed figure began to slouch and fall forwards-

Sharpe's arm grabbed hold of Snape just before he succeeded in getting his nose pulverised on something hard for the second time that evening.

"Oops," mumbled Lupin.

"Ha. Good job I still play Quidditch," grinned Sharpe.

"Potter...Rotter," slurred Snape suddenly, beginning to struggle. "Black...Arragan-Bastar-tantall-fucken-arselicken-wankshit-CRUCIO!"

They looked at one another, blinking. Lily went slightly pale.

"Perhaps the Sleeping Potion then," suggested Lupin.

Lily nodded.

"Aha, me and Norway here were just thinking of the exact same thing, weren't we Norway?" came a low growl from the stairway.

They all turned with unease to find the unlikely pair of Black and Norway menacing their easiest exit route.

After an extremely smug nod from Black, Norway took a step forward, ignoring the pleading looks from Lily. "I think we have some unfinished business, Snape," he snarled, eyes alight with malice.

"Goodness me!" Exclaimed Sharpe. "Can't you people go five darn minutes without having a fight!"

There was a dry snickering sound. People looked around in surprise until they realised with shock that it was actually coming from Snape. Snape was laughing? Lupin exchanged funny glances with Sharpe. But whether it was with drunkenness or simply amusement at the situation, nobody could tell.

By the look of his face, Norway was clearly reaching boiling point. Clenched his fists and took another step forward.

"NO!" shrilled Lily, stepping across to block the hallway.

"Leave off him Norway," called out Black suddenly. "After all, we only came upstairs to have a piss!"

Norway turned angrily to mouth off at Black, but caught sight of the slight smirk on his lips. The man had a plan...He took a couple of calming breaths before turning back to face Lily.

"Fair enough," he replied, as coolly as he could manage. "Now – if you'll excuse us..."

With that the two glowering men began to squeeze through the crowded hallway.

They were only halfway through when there was a snarl and the sound of someone spitting.

Black stopped stock still, his face turning redder and redder as he felt the spit trickle down the side of his face.

"Why...you...slimy little...GIT!!"

It happened within seconds; Black lunged at Snape, Lupin stepped in and took the full blow instead; Lily tripped up Norway so he went crashing down through the crowd, ripping Spencer's shirt as he tried to stop himself, Spencer in shock then let go of Snape, who fell to the floor alongside Norway, where they proceeded to pummel the life out of one another.

"Oh...Bugger! That was my best cheesecloth, you, you absolute sod Norway!" scowled Sharpe, jabbing his finger at the Muggle Milkman. "My Stetson, my whip - and now my shirt!!"

Lupin moaned sadly and looked around for his angry friend, rubbing his face. Where had Padfoot gone?

Lily was now the only one remotely interested in noticing the fight taking place at their feet. Somehow, Snape had managed to get Nigel's garish jacket twisted around his head, and inner contents of the pockets were flying from them faster than the foul insults from their mouths.

"Boys!"

She stood over them in exasperation, trying to haul one off the other by getting hold of their legs, but only succeeded in pulling off one of Nigel's platform shoes.

"Boys! Nigel! NIGEL! SNAPE!! STOP IT!"

She had screamed, she had yelled, she had even tried to slap, but she was not a thrower so would not resort to that. It was no use. Flinging her hands up in frustration she stormed into the bathroom. The bloody anti-hex charm was bloody-well coming off now – it was obviously no use in a party full of bloody cavemen...

She picked up the toilet brush stand and blinked. The charmed stone wasn't glowing. Anti-hex was down...

Her blood near to boiling, Lily decided then and there that she'd had enough of parties. This would definitely the last party she'd ever hold. Ever!

A/N: Keep an eye on the chapter updates, I've got more muse where this came from!