A/N- I mislabelled the last chapter by accident. It was supposed to be chapter 3 and this one is chapter 4. Sorry if I confused anybody. Thanks for the reviews.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any characters that you may recognise.

Chapter 4- Our Farewell

The next morning, Harry woke up early. It was still dark and Harry could hear Ron snoring in the bed next to him. He quietly rose, got changed and closed the door gently behind him.

When he was making his way towards the kitchen he noticed that Remus and Mr Weasley had returned from wherever they had been, looking very tired. Tonks (who's hair this morning was a marmalade orange) nodded to whatever Remus was telling her and then quickly left the house.

Remus and Mr Weasley walked out of the entrance hall and Harry decided to follow them into the kitchen. When he entered they turned to greet him, both smiling warmly.

"Good morning Harry," Mr Weasley said.

Remus just smiled and sat down at the table. Harry sat down as well and looked at the two men, more specifically at Remus. Though still young, his light coloured hair was streaked with grey and the lines on his face were more prominent. Harry was suddenly worried about his old Professor. They sat for a moment in silence until Mr Weasley yawned and incoherently mumbled something that sounded like "I'm going to bed" and left the kitchen.

Remus turned to Harry.

"Harry" he said quietly. "Now that you have arrived at Headquarters, Dumbledore and the rest of us have made arrangements for Sirius' memorial."

He paused looking at Harry for any reaction. When he found that he was to get none, he continued.

"We wanted to wait until you came."

Harry still said nothing. He was about to wonder why they weren't holding a funeral, and then he remembered with a nasty jolt in his stomach, that there was no body to bury. The pain of his thoughts must have shown on his face as he saw Lupin looked at him with concern.

"Harry?" Remus asked.

"I'm going back to bed," he replied quickly and exited the kitchen. When he returned to the room he found Ron still asleep. Harry envied the simple life Ron was privileged to. He didn't have a godfather who had died. He didn't have this grief inside of him.

Harry sighed and sat down heavily on his bed. He was surprised with his own reaction. He was expecting a service to be held someday soon.

"They must have had these often," Harry thought to himself. "Back then when... when many people had died".

Harry had unwillingly reminded himself of his parents, the Longbottoms, all those Order members whose inevitable deaths crept up them. The memory of how they smiled up at him from Moody's photograph, oblivious to their fates, imprinted clearly in his mind. These thoughts tired him and Harry felt himself being engulfed by sleep. His suspended grief- carefully buried inside him- was exhausting. He lay down on the bed without changing and fell into a dreamless sleep.

The memorial took place two days after. It was held on a cloudy, windy morning, in a muggle hall that Dumbledore had hired for the occasion. They were all required to wear muggle clothes in order not to draw attention to themselves. Despite the sombreness of the occasion, several members were placed at the doors to guard against any attacks. Regardless of death, precautions were still taken.

Harry was standing in between Remus and Moody. He looked around the hall and noticed Sirius' mourners were Order members, some of which he had never met or seen.

Everyone was wearing black.

"Black," Harry inwardly laughed grimly . Harry thought this was ironic, Sirius hated his family. He continued to glance around the room and his eyes landed on Dumbledore who was standing opposite to him. In front of him, Leia was standing. Harry was surprised to see tears pouring silently down her cheeks. Her exhibited grief was similar to his on. Leia was staring determinedly above the heads of the people in the room. Dumbledore seemed to have noticed this too as he placed a hand on her shoulder.

His Headmaster looked at him, smiling gently. He found when looking into those light blue eyes he felt comforted. Harry marvelled at how Dumbledore managed to create the exact opposite effect to the Dementers, creatures that the old wizard hated so much.

He again looked through the hall and saw Ron and Hermione, both looking equally grieved. Harry found he couldn't take it much longer. It was getting too much. Without caring whether he created a disturbance, Harry left the hall.

Harry went outside to breath. The grief emanating from the hall was overwhelming and was slowly suffocating him; he did not want to cry in front of everybody.

The wind blew around him causing him to shiver. He was only alone for a few minutes when Harry felt someone's presence behind him. Harry turned and was met with Remus.

He looked surprisingly calm and collected but Harry could see the grief in his eyes. Harry guessed it was because Remus missed Sirius just as much as he did.

They remained silent, staring into the distance, comforted with other's presence.

Remus broke the silence.

"How are you holding up?" he asked quietly, not looking at him as he continued to stare into the distance. Harry didn't answer. Not really knowing what to say.

"I miss him as well," he murmured, so softly that Harry had to move closer to hear. "He was one of my best friends. I am the only one left, the only Marauder left." Harry watched as Remus smiled fondly, but was surprised to see tears welling in the older man's eyes.

Harry didn't know what to do. He hadn't seen his past Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher like this. Remus always seemed to be in control.

Harry decided to voice his feelings. "He went away, just like everybody else in my life," his said quietly, voice trembling. "First my parents, now Sirius. He died, after 13 years of imprisonment, he was finally free but he died."

Remus stopped staring at nothing and turned to look at Harry. He wasn't crying but he looked calmer this time.

"You see Harry, I think he was glad to die," Remus said softly.

"What? I don't think he was glad to die! He wasn't sick, he wasn't old!" Harry found himself shouting. "He left me and now I'm alone!" Harry found himself crying, all the grief and anger flowing out with his tears.

Remus then did something that he had never done before. He pulled Harry into a hug, momentarily shocked; Harry found himself hugging Remus back.

"It wasn't fair," he said to him. "He was the closet thing to a parent I ever had".

After a while, Remus let go of Harry who whispered. "Nobody can be glad to die."

Remus returned to staring into the distance. "Harry, I knew Sirius better than anyone in the Order. I could tell he was miserable. He had been lonely for a very long time."

Remus' statement twigged something in Harry's brain, bringing him back to last summer when he was having a similar conversation with Hermione and Ron. Sirius had been alive then. "Hermione had mentioned that once," Harry said softly, more to himself then to Remus.

Remus turned to look at him.

Harry continued, "she said that he was confused about whether I was me or my father."

Remus just nodded and replied, "He missed James, more than anything. They were like brothers. But I think if everything had worked out in the end, it may have been different. He probably would have coped. He still would have missed James but with everything that had happened- him being in Azkaban, not allowed to leave the house that he had always hated, not being able to be a Godfather to you..." he broke off for a moment and sighed. "He needed James, but I think seeing you, Harry, brought it all back to him. You reminded him so much of his best friend that he began to miss James even more then he thought possible."

When Remus finished, he returned to the Hall. Harry was left alone outside in the wind, which began to blow harder and colder, with nothing but his grief for company.

A/N- A bit emotional but hopefully not too over the top. I would like to hear what you think, so review! This chapter is a little shorter than the rest, sorry.

Queen of Basil