Accepting Fate
Chapter Three
Saying Goodbye
Earth felt the wound and Nature from her seat
Sighing through all her works gave signs of woe
That all was lost.
--John Milton
As Hermione stared out of the window in the Gryffindor Common Room, she felt disgusted that she had run away from Draco earlier that morning. As soon as the truth spilled from her lips she had turned abruptly and ran as fast as she could back to the castle. The last she had seen of Draco he had been staring at her in shock. She had been so nervous when he had confronted her that she panicked. He probably thinks I'm a coward. The more she thought about it, however, the more she realized that she most likely was one.
Somewhere in the distance a clock chimed. Hermione counted each clang of the bell. One – The stars twinkled in the sky at her. Two – She could hear the gentle lapping of the lake as the water steadily hit the shore. Three – A long howl echoed from deep inside the forest. Four – A shadow passed through the courtyard. Five – The wind blew and her hair tossed in front of her face. Six – A cloud moved over the moon, darkening the courtyard. Seven – A loud bang as a door slammed open. Eight – Snape's voice carrying in the wind. Nine – A second voice, unintelligible. Ten – A sudden cry of frustration.
Hermione tilted her head out the window, begging the cloud to move so she could see better. In the dim light of the night, Hermione barely caught a flash of blond hair as it flapped in the breeze. A word here and there came up to greet her.
"A life-debt…Granger...mudblood…Dumbledore…thinking…friendship…my father…" Hermione heard Snape's voice as he replied but she could not understand him from where she was. There was another frustrated yell and suddenly she realized she could see. The cloud had finally moved and the light of the moon shone bright against the courtyard again. Hermione watched as Draco bent down and picked something up. He glared at whatever he was holding and then threw it as hard as he could.
Hermione crossed her arms on the window-sill and rested her chin on them as she watched. From what she could see, it seemed like Professor Snape was trying to get Draco to calm down. "Why should I listen to you?! You killed my father!" Hermione strained to hear whatever Snape's response was. At the reply, Draco began screaming. "I don't care if I didn't respect him! I don't care if I didn't love him like most boys love their fathers! He was still my father and you killed him! And then I find out that Granger of all people saved my life once without so much as an explanation! How the fuck do you think I feel?! My father is dead, I ran in front of Hermione Granger and got hit by a curse meant for her! I wake up in St. Mungo's completely confused about everything. My mother is disappointed in me, and the only person I was ever able to trust is dead now. What am I supposed to do? Pretend that everything is alright?? Nothing is right!" Draco reached into his pocket and pulled out his wand, pointing it at his own heart. Professor Snape cast his student a worried look. "Give me one more reason to do it and I swear I will."
Another door slammed open and Hermione heard Dumbledore's strong voice echo towards her. "EXPELLIARMUS!" Draco's wand hurtled out of his hand and landed on the ground close to Snape's feet. The Potions professor picked it up and pocketed it. Draco, who had backed himself against a wall in his tirade, sunk to the ground in defeat, his knees pulled up against his chest, his hands hiding his face from view. Hermione noticed his shoulders shake slightly.
Hermione backed away from the window in shock. Never in a million years, she thought, would I have thought I would witness something like that…Hermione didn't sleep that night. She wouldn't have been able to if she had tried. So she sat tucked up in her chair in the common room wondering whether or not Draco really would have done it if Dumbledore hadn't of come. She had a horrible feeling he would have.
It was the morning of the funeral. Dumbledore, who had a heart kinder than anyone she had ever met, had arranged for the largest mass funeral any wizard or witch had seen in over forty years. Dozens were to be buried today and Hermione was going absolutely hysterical at the thought of having to truly say goodbye to all of her friends. To make matters worse, Ron was still in St. Mungo's as dead to the world as is possible without actually being dead.
When it finally came time, Dumbledore stopped by the tower and escorted the remaining Gryffindors to the large courtyard outside the school. Hundreds of people were there. Hermione spotted the Weasleys instantly and rushed towards them, Mrs. Weasley clutching her to her chest as soon as she ran into her arms. At first, Hermione had been confused as to why there would be a mass funeral since everyone who died came from so many parts of the world. Wouldn't they need to be buried where they came from? But Dumbledore had already taken care of that. He had bewitched the grounds of Hogwarts to send every casket to its rightful resting spot as soon as it entered the ground.
The one thing regarding the funeral that surprised Hermione, was when she learned that people from both sides of the war were to be buried. She understood Dumbledore's reasoning behind the whole thing but if she had it her way she would just send many of the caskets over a cliff to be crushed by rocks.
It was just not in the old man's nature to be that cruel to a dead body…not even one or two that had inflicted so much pain upon others when it was alive.
As Dumbledore began to speak to the large audience, rows of caskets appeared out of nowhere. Hermione watched as people twisted their way through the bodies, saying goodbye to those they knew and cared for, others stopping at every casket muttering a small prayer for the victim inside. Glancing at Mrs. Weasley, she stepped forward and rubbed her hand along the length of the strong casket made of holly in front of her. All caskets were closed and sealed tight with magic to prevent anyone from doing any harm to those inside. Glancing at the head of the casket, Hermione realized she was looking down at Harry's.
Her hand went to her mouth instantly to prevent herself from crying out. A row and a few caskets over, Draco Malfoy was silently fingering his father's casket, his mother behind him with a solemn look on her face. They looked up and saw each other at the same time, Hermione's eyes widening and Draco's mouth forming a somber smile. The interaction lasted less than five seconds before they looked away from each other but both had a feeling they would remember that moment forever.
Hermione listened as Dumbledore spoke out over the crowd. "Each person's casket is made of the same wood used in their wands. The insides are lined with the essences supplied in their wands as well. As they were in life, so they shall be in death. As I call out the names of those who have passed, their caskets will sink into the earth and be sent to their final resting spots in the cemeteries in which their ancestors have also been laid to rest. If no one has any objections, I will begin reading off the list. They are in alphabetical order."
The crowd was completely silent and Dumbledore cleared his throat and continued.
"Hannah Abbott."
Hermione watched in silence as Hannah's family moved away from her casket allowing it to sink into the earth and disappear. Her mother leaned against a man Hermione assumed to be Hannah's father, clutching tightly onto the hand of a small blonde girl about the age of three. Hermione glanced back down at Harry's casket and felt herself begin to choke up.
The same thing happened with Euan Abercrombie, Charles Avery, Susan Bones, Eleanor Branstone and Millicent Bulstrode. She watched as each family held on tightly to one another as the one they loved was lowered into the ground and then she would look back down at Harry's casket, clutching onto the smooth wood as much as her fingers would allow. It was the only way she knew how to connect with Harry.
"Cho Chang."
Hermione's mind went back to her fifth year when Harry had a crush on Cho. She smiled softly to herself as she remembered the clueless expression he wore when he talked about her, and how absolutely stunned he seemed the night she had kissed him after the Dumbledore's Army meeting.
"Michael Corner."
She gazed in the direction she knew Ginny's casket to be and she remembered how overprotective Ron had gotten when she told him she and Michael were dating.
"Dennis Creevey."
Hermione looked over and watched as Colin's family wrenched their son off of his brother's casket, tears flowing down his face as he said goodbye. Hermione's heart broke for him. The boys had always been so close to each other.
"Amos Diggory."
The events of fourth year filled her mind. She thought of Cedric and how everyone had treated Harry like a psychotic attention-seeker over his fifth year until they finally realized he had been telling the truth all along. Even now it made Hermione's blood boil.
"Emma Dobbs. Antonin Dolohov…Aberforth Dumbledore."
The old wizard paused for a moment as he watched his brother being lowered into the ground.
"Marietta Edgecombe."
SNEAK…Hermione remembered just how proud Harry had been of her hexing abilities when the girl had spilled the beans on Dumbledore's Army.
"Elaine Edgecombe. Justin Finch-Fletchley."
The events surrounding her second year at Hogwarts erupted into her mind. Tom Riddle. Basilisks. Enchanted diaries. Being petrified…Hermione glanced down at Harry's casket again and uttered a soft "Thank you" before she turned back to Dumbledore.
"Mundungus Fletcher. Marcus Flint. Florean Fortescue. Cornelius Fudge. Anthony Goldstein. Gregory Goyle."
Hermione looked down the rows and saw Vincent Crabbe kick at a rock as he watched his best friend disappear into the earth.
"Euphadora Grubbly-Plank. Davey Gudgeon.Terrence Higgs. Arianna Hooch. Mafalda Hopkirk. Angelina Johnson."
Feeling the Weasley twins brush by her, Hermione saw them walk over to Katie Bell and Alicia Spinnet, and pull them protectively to their chests as they cried softly for their friend.
"Andrew Kirke. Rodolphus Lestrange. Rabastan Lestrange. Algie Longbottom. Neville Longbottom."
Hermione took a shuddering breath as she thought of how much Neville had progressed over the years. When he died he had not been the plump clueless and almost squib-like wizard she had once known, but instead, an incredibly powerful and brave friend who could have given just about anyone a run for their money.
"Luna Lovegood"
Luna's father waved cheerfully as Luna's casket disappeared from sight. Hermione allowed a real smile to edge onto her face as she watched him, thinking about how honest and pure Luna had always been. She believed in everything, everyone, and she never asked questions. Everything about Luna led Hermione to believe she viewed the world through rose-tinted glasses.
"Walden Macnair. Laura Madley. Lucius Malfoy."
Unintentionally, Hermione's mind drifted as she thought about her town's local paper and how they had reported her parents' murders…The bodies of two local dental hygienists were found floating in their backyard pool earlier today. A neighbor said she came over to invite the two to a party she was having later this month and found them. Due to the fact the Grangers were fully clothed at time of death, the police are looking at this as a murder case. The Grangers are survived by their daughter Hermione, who is away at school. Tears began to steadily roll down her cheeks and she looked up and saw Draco staring at her from only five caskets away. His expression was unreadable and she lowered her head down again.
"Fenna Marsh. Eloise Midgen. Cuthbert Mockridge. Alastor Moody."
A vivid image of Draco Malfoy the Amazing Bouncing Ferret flew into her mind and again she glanced up to find Draco watching her, this time with a somewhat amused expression on his face. She suspected that he too was thinking back to that time in fourth year when the fake "Mad-Eye" Moody had transfigured him into a ferret.
"Hassan Mostafa. Charles Nott. Theodore Nott. Wilhemina Nott. Tiberius Ogden. Pansy Parkinson."
It was like a light clicked on in her head. The only person I was ever able to trust is dead now… She glanced swiftly up at Draco and saw him wipe away a single tear that had managed to escape as he stared down at Pansy's lowering casket. Before it disappeared completely, he bent down, pressed his fingertips to his lips and then lightly touched the casket again before turning away completely.
"Sally-Anne Perks. Peter Pettigrew."
A few gasps came from those who had not known Peter had never died as they stared bemusedly at the disappearing casket. Hermione was surprised to hear a quiet growl elicit from the back of her throat.
"Roddy Ponter. Harry Potter."
The casket in front of her began to sink into the earth and she felt more tears come as she watched it. Every memory she ever had suddenly flashed through her mind during the time it took the casket to disappear. Reading about Harry in books before she ever met him. Trolls, logic problems, mirrors, time-turners, Summoning spells, the Department of Mysteries, her shoulder to cry on after her parents' deaths...She felt a hand squeeze her shoulder gently and she turned around to find Mrs. Weasley looking at her through tears. Slowly, they backed up and headed to the very end of the rows of caskets.
"Graham Pritchard. Tom Riddle…also known as Lord Voldemort."
Several eyes shot in the direction of the yew casket sinking into the earth, expressions of utmost fury on almost everyone's face.
"Kingsley Shacklebolt. Stan Shunpike. Dean Thomas."
Hermione noticed Seamus wipe at his face.
"Agatha Timms. Andromeda Tonks."
Tonks stood next to her father, her head on his shoulder, tears flowing from her eyes.
"Sybill Trelawney. Dolores Umbridge."
Another growl elicited from Hermione.
"Ginny Weasley. Percy Weasley."
A strangled sob came from Mrs. Weasley as she turned and held onto Arthur as tightly as she could. Fleur Delacour had a comforting arm around Bill and the twins watched silently with their hands in their pockets as their two siblings were buried. Charlie had taken to putting his arm around Hermione as her sobs became uncontrollable. Not being able to look any longer she turned in Charlie's arms and cried softly into his shoulder.
"Willy Widdershins. Blaise Zabini."
As the last casket was lowered into the ground, Hermione felt herself being pulled along by Charlie as the Weasley family made there way back up to the castle.
Luckily, there wasn't anyone else in the vicinity to see them do this.
The hospital was incredibly busy. The witch at the welcome desk looked completely frazzled as she directed people to where they needed to go. The Weasleys, who had already been to visit Ron, went through the double doors, along the narrow corridor filled with portraits, and up four flights of stairs. Hermione followed them silently, nervous and excited about seeing Ron again—even if he couldn't see her.
Once they got to the fourth floor, they went through another set of double doors that said RECOVERY and down a corridor that looked fairly new. Mr. Weasley pulled open the last door on the left and they all traipsed in behind him.
After Hermione got into the room and allowed her eyes to adjust to the dim light, she saw Ron lying back in his bed, eyes closed, breathing softly. He looked rather bruised up. Mrs. Weasley walked to the edge of the bed and took hold of her son's hand, squeezing it slightly.
"We've all come to visit you again, Ronnie. We brought Hermione with us this time." Mrs. Weasley looked at Ron as if she expected him to open his eyes and yell "Surprise!!" The look on the witch's face when he didn't move pained Hermione. She patted Ron's hand. "In time, my baby boy. In time…"
Hours had passed since they arrived at the hospital. Hermione looked at her watch and realized it was already half past one in the morning. Mrs. Weasley had taken to roaming the halls aimlessly while Mr. Weasley and Bill had gone up to the fifth floor to get snacks. Fred and George were snoring softly by the window and Charlie had gone to the bathroom and then up to get a snack as well. With everyone gone or asleep, Hermione had lied down on the bed next to Ron, holding his hand tightly, the fingers of her left hand idly tracing patterns on his cheek.
She had also taken to whispering to him. She talked to him about nothing and about everything. She told him about the funeral and about what she had seen a few nights before between Malfoy and Snape. She told him how much she missed him and wanted him to be there with her again. "I'm always here…" she trailed off as she fell asleep against his shoulder.
About six hours later Hermione was awoken by something shifting under her. She opened her eyes sleepily and shut them again, thinking it was her imagination. Or maybe she was just dreaming. "All a dream…" she said drowsily. Her head was rising up and down rather uncomfortably. "Quit laughing. Sleep…good…" She felt another quake under her head as she said this. Wait a minute… Her head snapped up immediately and she saw Ron watching her with extreme interest.
"Ron!"
The occupant of the chair next to Ron's bed started. When she saw her son watching her, she cried out and leaned forward to hug him.
"Oye. Mum. That hurts. Bruised, you see?"
Mrs. Weasley didn't seem to hear him. "Oh, my baby, my baby. You're okay. Oh, you've had me so worried." A voice suddenly filled the room, awakening everyone.
"Weasley, Ronald. Battle victim number 186. Injured by Blasting Curse." The door opened and a small medi-witch entered the room. "Here you go, love," she said, handing Ron a vial of liquid. "There you are. Glad to see you awake, I am. Been worried about you. You've been asleep longer than most of the battle victims, you have. Ah, well, you should feel better now, love. Get some rest now."
After the witch left, the rest of the family bombarded Ron with hugs. Hermione decided to leave the room while they had their moment, knowing they would be explaining to him many things she did not want to go over again. It just hurt too much.
Hermione ran up the flight of stairs to the fifth floor, scrounging through her pockets for money to get some breakfast. She found a few silver sickles and one golden galleon. Biscuits and orange juice only cost two sickles and after paying the cashier, she headed for a table in the corner of the cafeteria.
Draco had gotten to St. Mungo's early Friday morning to begin his community service and found, to his immense satisfaction, that they wouldn't be needing him for another hour and a half. He asked the woman behind the desk what he should do until then, and was utterly shocked when she snapped at him to "Just go and get some breakfast and get out of my hair you little weasel." For one, he was not a weasel. He was a ferret…and two, no one snaps at a Malfoy. He opened his mouth to tell her this, but she glared at him, so instead, he walked silently to the… "Ms., where are the lifts?"
The witch glared at him and he wondered for a moment if he was about to be hexed. She pointed her wand at his legs. "Why don't you just use those?" she asked in a sickly sweet voice. Draco knew if he said anything else he would be hexed, so he turned to the flight of stairs and began trudging his way up.
Hermione was in the middle of her breakfast when she heard the door to the cafeteria open. Looking up, her jaw dropped as she saw Draco standing in the doorway. He gave her a small smile. Hermione couldn't tell if it was a weak smirk or a genuine smile but she returned it anyway.
"Granger."
"Malfoy."
Draco smirked. Ah, there it is Hermione thought to herself.
"Well, now that the formalities are out of the way, I think its about time you elaborate on what you told me on Tuesday." Hermione nodded silently and he made his way over to sit across from her.
"Now, I want to know exactly what happened that caused me to owe you a life-debt, because I do not know when you ever saved my life."
Again, Hermione nodded silently.
Draco looked at her exasperatedly. "You know, you are supposed to use this thing…" Draco had touched his fingers to her mouth. "…when you…speak."
Hermione glanced down at his fingers and then looked back up into his eyes. They held no hint of cockiness or cruelty. For the first time since Hermione knew him, they were clear and open. Hermione opted to look at his fingers again.
"Please."
With that one word, Hermione finally felt as if she could talk to him about the secret she had kept to herself for the past four years, and taking a deep breath, she began.
"During our third year, I was taking way too many classes for my own good—so many that I would have some during the same hours. The Ministry of Magic gave me special permission to use a Time Turner to get to all of my classes. Well…do you remember how during our first Care of Magical Creatures class you were attacked by Buckbeak?"
Draco nodded, wondering where this was going.
"Well, I kind of saw it happen twice."
Draco raised an eyebrow at her.
"You can't possibly be this dense. Okay. The first time I saw it happen, I ran straight to Madame Pomfrey, wanting her to see you as quick as possible, but I wasn't fast enough. By the time she got back to you, you had lost too much blood. She couldn't revive you, no matter how hard she tried, and when I found out you didn't make it when I got back to class…Don't give me that look. Madame Pomfrey made me go tell Dumbledore what happened and then I went to the bathroom…Anyway. When I got back to the class and found out you didn't make it, I hid behind a tree and gave the time turner one turn. I watched from behind the tree as Buckbeak attacked you and then I saw myself run off towards the infirmary. Luckily, no one else saw me leave, so it made it easy for me to go back into the class and open the gate when Hagrid asked for someone to open it. And then, I stayed behind, waiting for Miss Pomfrey to meet up with you and Hagrid. Madame Pomfrey got to you two faster because I opened the gate. Apparently, when I left, no one offered to help. I knew I would be back anytime, so I told Harry and Ron I was going to the bathroom and I hid behind another tree until I came back. I watched as people told me they didn't think you would make it because you had lost so much blood. And then, finally, I watched as I went behind a tree to use the time turner. After I left, I came back out and joined the group again, knowing you had made it."
Draco gave her a very confused look. "So, basically, you had a time-turner and you thought I died so you went back in time to save me and then went back to class like nothing happened?"
Hermione thought for a moment. "Yes…that's about it."
Draco combed his fingers through his hair as he regarded Hermione and then, without saying a word, stood up and left the cafeteria. Whatever she had expected him to do, that definitely wasn't it. She pushed her tray away, not hungry anymore.