Chapter 4 – For the Best

When the Hogwarts Express pulled into Kings Cross with a heart-skipping lurch, Severus felt as if he'd been hit by a Petrificus Totalis curse.  He couldn't move.

Cassandra, on the other hand, seemingly hex-free, jumped to her feet, snatched up her belongings, and muttered a curt good-bye to Lily before the train had come to a complete stop.  She barely glanced at Severus before opening the door and joining the line of Hogwarts students eagerly making their way down the train's narrow corridor.

The compartment door slid shut with a resounding crack, startling Severus into mobility like a slap in the face.  He stood up to retrieve his satchel, and then glanced over at Lily.  She was still seated, her green eyes studying him intently.

Unnerved by the unexpected attention she was paying him, Severus glanced down the front of his robes expecting to find an unsightly stain, or worse, a revealing hole.  His robes, however, were perfectly clean and intact.

Turning back to her, he frowned.  "What is it?" he asked, puzzled.  "Why are you staring at me like that?"

Lily only smiled cryptically.

Severus let out an impatient breath.  "I don't understand you," he said in what he thought was a very stern, disapproving voice.  "In all of our five years at Hogwarts, we've never been friends, and now suddenly…you're…" Much to his displeasure, his stern voice trailed off, softening and becoming almost vulnerable.  "…suddenly you're…being nice to me…and…I don't get it."

He was looking directly at her now, and she was gazing back steadily.  After several heartbeats, she finally answered.  "I don't either," she said simply.

Severus frowned.  "But…you—"

"I don't know what it is about you, exactly," she continued, "but you intrigue me."

His black eyes widened, "I…?"

She nodded.  "Yes, you."  She cocked her head to one side, and studied him appraisingly.  "On the surface, you're so dark…villain-like almost, but I think, and I guess I could be wrong, but I think that there's more to you…than meets the eye."

"More?" he said, sounding doubtful.  "Evans, I assure you that—"

"Yes, I think so," she interrupted, still studying him intently.  "There's something about you, a sadness perhaps, I don't know…  It's in your eyes.  Yes, there's definitely something there, but you've closed yourself off so completely from people."

Severus shook his head.  This was madness!  "Listen, Evans—"

"Lily," she cut in, "call me Lily."

"Evans," he continued, "whatever it is you think—"

"Yes, so I was thinking," she blurted hastily, "I was thinking that I'd like to get to know you better...break through the surface…unravel the mystery…you know?"

"No," he muttered.  "No, I definitely do not know."

Seemingly undeterred, Lily pursed her lips together into a tight smile.  "Well, I can't force you or anything," she said, handing him a slightly crumpled scrap of paper that she'd been holding, "but, if you're interested, here's my address and telephone number.  You can write to me, if you wish, or call…"  Her smiled faltered as she looked up into his face.  "I…I'd love to hear from you…  Maybe we could get together sometime…"

Blushing, Lily hurriedly stood up and started gathering her things, "I'm usually not this forward with boys," she explained, not looking at him.  "It's just…"  She paused, belongings in check, and gazed up at him shyly.  "You're so different from the others."

Severus opened his mouth to respond, but she was gone before he could answer, and he found himself alone in the compartment, staring down at the paper she'd just handed him.

* * *

"Where is he?" Severus muttered impatiently, craning his neck as he tried to see over the surrounding sea of Muggles in search of Lurvey, his family house elf.  Of course, spotting a creature of such small stature in the crowded train station was about as easy as spotting a maple sapling in a forest of redwoods. 

Off at an angle, he caught sight of Lily being hugged by a balding, heavyset man in Bermuda shorts.  Severus abruptly turned away only to bump into a tall, thin figure dressed in a black, summer-weight wool suit.  He looked up to see a familiar hawk-like face, with piercing black eyes, and oiled-back hair, which clung to his head, making it look almost skull-like.  

"Severus," Mordemos Snape said, in a low, even voice.

"Father," Severus replied.  "I'm surprised to find you here.  I thought that you'd be sending Lurvey to meet me as you usually do."

His father smiled, leaving Severus feeling cold.  "I thought I'd surprise you," he said.

"Well, you've succeeded," Severus replied, taking on the same voice of indifference that seemed to be a Snape trademark.  He glanced at Lily who was smiling and chatting amiably with a middle-aged woman in a madras plaid sundress, and he hastily added, "Well, I guess we'd better get going then."

"All right," the elder Snape replied.  He turned and began striding purposefully in Lily's general direction.  "Our Portkey is this way."

Reluctantly, Severus followed, keeping his eyes on his father's back, and not looking at Lily.  He'd just passed her, when he heard her call his name.  He hastened his step.

"Severus!" she called again a little louder.

His father stopped and Severus almost ran into him.  Mordemos Snape turned and looked directly at Lily.  He studied her carefully, as if she were something to be purchased, then took in her surrounding family.  He frowned.  "Is that girl calling you, Severus?"

Severus turned slowly to see Lily waving at him.

"Er, yes," he replied, "I suppose she is."  Lily smiled at him, and he quickly looked away.

"Well, who is she?  Is she a friend of yours?" his father asked, disapproval in his voice.

"No.  She's…" Severus paused, looking at neither Lily nor his father.  "No one," he finished, speaking loud enough for Lily to overhear.

His father shot him a questioning look, then turned and resumed walking in their previous course.  Severus followed wordlessly.  He glanced back at Lily and immediately wished he hadn't; she met his gaze, and then quickly turned away.  She appeared stricken.

Snapping his head forward, Severus blinked once and then continued after his father. 

He hated to hurt her, but he knew—and he'd already told himself this more than once—that it was for the best.