Three Pudding Cups

by Themis56

VASH

When they first started--well, I'd like to say stalking me but it really wasn't quite as creepy as that--ah, 'containing' me, they were both pretty big pains. At the time it was just a matter of deciding which one was more annoying. On one hand, Meryl was diligent, keen, and kept a distance I was comfortable with; Milly liked to chatter about nothing in particular all the time and, I swear, every time we hit a new town she'd demand we find the first pudding shop even though donuts always take dibs. But then, on the other hand, the short girl had a habit of bossing me around and hitting me--hard--whereas the Big Girl was sweet-tempered and cheerful. Nothing got her down. Her partner could take some pointers from her about being nice to lovable guys like me.

But after being with them so long, I'm used to them and found out that neither of them are really so bad. They're both good girls underneath their annoying habits. I owe them my life about one or two times over.

Milly is easier to get along with, though. Much easier.

That girl makes me wonder sometimes.

I usually can read people so easy, what their hearts are hiding, and I know for certain that Milly is sweet and good and can be like that forever if you don't touch on her one or two hot spots. Ha--buy that girl a pudding and you have a friend for life. But all the rest of us know that by now, don't we? But beyond that? I just don't know. I'm surprised I can't figure it out. Oh, I suppose not even I can really know a person from head to toe, know everything they're thinking, but I can usually get a good impression of what they think. I can't do that so well with Milly.

It's her simplicity that gets me. Her eyes are so calm and untroubled. Not haunted at all. At first glance they seem almost blank, but then I get a glimpse of something underneath and I realize how smart she can be. I don't think she knows, though, or else she's too smart to notice it. Her observations are always so low-key, just passing mentions, like she's above them or something. She never dwells on them either.

Dammit. How much does she know anyway?

Come to think of it, Milly doesn't chatter all the time. She only does it when nobody's spoken for a while or else there's been an argument, doubtless erupting between a permutation of me or Meryl or Wolfwood, and the rest of us are uncomfortable and the mood needs to be diffused. Then she steps in, chatting most likely about her huge family at home. Sometimes I think half of Gunsmoke is related to her. So she's chatty when nobody else is. But when any of the rest of us start talking, she gets quiet; she does that more and more now. Just closes her eyes in that serene look and steps back. Either she's listening very intently or just spacing out and what she knows is all subconscious--or maybe both. But if she is listening, shouldn't she be more concerned? Meryl certainly always freaks out when something comes up and then, woo, she never lets me hear the end of it. I've got the bumps on my head to prove it.

Still, sometimes I see her face cloud up when she thinks the rest of us aren't looking, her lip puckers in thought and her eyes aren't so serene like she's trying to figure something out but something always stops her from hitting the mark. I'm glad for that; she'd be in danger if she learned too much, went too deep. I have to be real careful around her, though, to keep her safe (and probably because she'd tell Meryl and that means the yelling and the fists and oh God and that'd be another person I care about in danger). I try not to say anything too important when Milly's there unless it's a full-blown emergency. And when I do break bad news or say something personal, she doesn't seem surprised at all. Sad and afraid, yeah, but never surprised.

But this is the important thing: she'd never kill anyone. Not on purpose. I mean, she carries a non-lethal weapon for God's sake, that's almost begging for death in this world of killer bullets. And I know she makes an effort not to hit people in the face with her stunners either. That's kind of her. And I know she doesn't have the heart to kill in her either. To kill someone you have to have something of a beast, a monster in you, thoughtless and cold even if it's just for the second to pull that trigger with the intent to kill. Milly doesn't have it in her. I sure as hell know Wolfwood's killed and probably will kill again when I'm not around and Meryl--I know she's not bloodthirsty at all and hasn't killed anyone yet but I know if it comes down to the wire she'll pull the trigger too.

Milly won't. She can't. She defends, whether it's people or pudding, and does her best not to get sucked in.

She has lots of love in her. Just like Rem did. And she doesn't even talk about it much, like it's no big deal. Her voice is sweet and I wonder sometimes if she could sing like Rem could. On occasion when we're riding in the dark I look back and her hair is black and it almost makes me want to cry. But then in the day it's Meryl with the black hair and it's she who's getting more and more like Rem with time, especially now since she's gotten so much calmer and we talk more, fight less. Milly never needs to say anything.

She understood from the start.

Trigun is copyright of Yasuhiro Nightow, Pioneer, and whoever else. I don't own it.

I don't have much experience writing Vash introspection; I hope he was somewhat in character. Next: Meryl!