I think I'm even worse at Meryl than I am at Vash…oy.

Oh yes, and thanks to Sunoko for the suggestions on the Vash piece. I went back and altered it a little so hopefully it flows better. Thanks for pointing that out!

One more to go! Can you guess who it'll be? Guess right to win a prize! The prize being a can of pudding to the face! ::SPLAT::

MERYL

I remember the first day she came to the Bernardelli main office. Obviously she had no clue about what to do there or how things worked. But what topped it all off was her clothing. A faded old men's long sleeve shirt and jeans? Thatscreamed 'farm girl' from the get go. She might as well have had a piece of straw stuck in her teeth to complete the image. I still don't understand how she managed to convince the Boss to hire her in the first place, not in that getup. And then she wore those things for the first three days of work straight because she was too tall for any of the handy regulation-issued uniforms and they needed to call in a tailor to customize one for her. Even then it didn't seem to fit her well.

All this gave the office gossips plenty to chew on. I hated it. They were so nice to Milly's face, welcoming her like the newbie she was and smiling kindly, offering help; and after she left they'd all laugh at her. Lots and lots of cracker jokes. I never joined in, though I never really said anything against it either. I think Karen and I were the only ones who didn't participate.

One day she came in on the trolls while they made fun of her clothes, her perky voice, her naïveté. All her child-like ways. I remember the big fat tears that welled up in her eyes as she turned away. I couldn't bear it and I yelled bloody murder at everyone until they were all cowering under something. Nobody can shout me down, I'm proud to say. Next, I stomped out to look for her. I found her in the company locker room just sobbing her heart out and trying to scarf down a pudding at the same time. Her nose was all snotty and her face a mess so I gave her a hanky. Before I knew it, I had my first full-time partner.

Don't you love how these things come about?

In spite of everything Milly's a surprisingly competent partner. She can't run the typewriter into the ground like I can but she can add numbers fairly well and isn't too fazed by the mounds of paperwork we pile up following that spiky-headed bozo.

Still, I thought it odd that we were assigned as partners--Milly's good but there are more capable people in the office. In fact, I didn't even want her on this assignment, yet she insisted and cried and begged until I had to give in.

Recently I realized how wise that decision was.

Milly's a great defense. She's so tall and carries that ungodly stun gun with such ease that men rarely ever bother us; even if they do then it's just a matter of a good kick to the crotch and a showing of steel to send them running. Aside from the physical aspect of it, she also keeps me sane. She doesn't get bogged down in the details like I tend to do, gets a feel for the situation. She always tells me that it's going to be okay. That little mistakes here and there won't kill us. That as long as we do our best things will work out. She's more than often right. Her patience is infectious enough to make even me calm down, even if it's just a little, and see things through. She can sense danger better than I can and that's saved my life at least once. But her greatest asset is her cheerfulness in the rough days. Sure, it's annoying at times when I just want to feel miserable for myself; but at others it's a comfort. Sunny people make sticking it out easier to bear.

And boy, have we seen our share of strain. It's just been one disaster after another with this nerdy freak--not that it's his fault . . .but I hate to see Milly when she's stressed and unhappy. She feels more deeply than I do, or can at least show it better. When she gets outraged it's always about a just cause . . .or pudding. I envy her for that. I can't show such soul, only petty annoyance.

I'd be lying if she still doesn't not annoy me once in a while. I may be the spokesperson of our little duo but it's Milly everyone gets along with, Milly they make small talk with, Milly who's known as 'the nice one' while I'm 'the bitch on wheels.' From the very start Vash always treated her with more thought and kindness--but why not? I admire that kindness as well. Such a big heart.

The thing that hurts me the most, and it's been troubling me for some time now, is I think Milly is setting herself up for a big fall, a painful one. She's so optimistic, believing at the very worst that people are sometimes just plain mean, that evil isn't permanent and will pass, that matters of the heart can conquer anything (I say it's bull myself but I don't dare tell her so). I've seen the way she looks at that priest. What in hell makes him so special to her? Can't she get a clue? Doesn't she see the shadows on his face? That huge freaking cross he hauls around and shoots at people with? Milly is so much more observant than that. Is she deliberately ignoring what's right in front of her face? If she does realize it, why is she doing this to herself?

It'd be so much easier to help her if he was cold and mean to her. But he's not. I've seen his looks too; he watches her out of the corner of his eye behind those cheesy sunglasses all the time. I've seen how warm and flirty he is with her. It's all genuine. Even his eyes get lighter when she's around except when they start smoldering with less-than-priestly emotions. Milly doesn't understand why they do that, but I sure do. Gah. He can be such a sleaze. Between him and Vash's stupid pick-up lines . . .and Milly's still so innocent.

Sometimes I think Milly is so spacey because she knows that there're bad things out there, bad feelings, bad people, and if she doesn't know about them then they won't hurt her. That defense won't last much longer. She's going to get hurt so badly one of these days. More badly than most people would because she has nothing to protect her besides that innocence. I can't stand it.

When something does happen I won't be able to do anything about it. And that hurts me. It hurts me. Not just because I failed my duty, it's because Milly is the last person know, alongside Vash, that deserves to have their goodness stripped away and all their efforts come to absolutely nothing. Milly and Vash . . .they're the kind of persons evil people love to torment and kill. The innocent and good always die first.

Ugh, maybe I'm getting too depressed after all that's happened. Perhaps I'm underestimating her. Milly can show a determined streak at times that I never saw when we worked at the main Bernardelli office. I shouldn't project my own fears onto her. No. I'll have faith in her and in Vash to get us all through this without too much pain. Wherever we're going and whatever gets thrown down won't break her.

It wouldn't hurt to be cautious, though, since I can't shake this feeling no matter how badly I want to. She'll need someone to fall back on.

She won't protect her heart, so I have to do it for her.