James was too busy laughing in front of the fire with Ron to notice a fuming Hermione burst through the Gryffindor Entrance.

She stormed right up to James and pinched his ear, pulling him to face her as he recoiled in pain. When he finally broke free, he looked at Hermione, clutching his ear.

"What the hell was that f—" he started, but got cut off when Hermione slapped him.

"Have you gone mad? Have you actually, literally gone mad?"

"No?" he said shyly. Hermione glared and James threw up his hands in confusion. "What the bloody hell are you talking about?"

"She. Is. A. Muggle!"

"Iliana?"

"No," said Hermione sarcastically. "The other Muggle you brought in the castle."

"It's not my fault!" shouted James. "She would have come in anyway. This way … I just … kept her … uh—under control. Made sure no Slytherins got to her or anything."

"Why couldn't you have taken her away? Stunned her and fetched a superior? What—what was going through your mind when you brought her in here?"

James looked off in the distance. "I dunno—she's hot?"

Hermione slapped him again.

This was enough for James. It was all Ron could do to hold him back from hitting Hermione. She, however, remained unmoved.

"Does Dumbledore know?" she said calmly through gritted teeth.

James stopped struggling against Ron. "Uh … you think I should have told him, then, do you?" he said cautiously.

At this, Hermione lost it. Her hair started flying as she ran at James, hitting and kitty slapping him on every piece of him she could reach. At that moment, Harry walked into the common room. He paused, mid-step, staring at the tangle of James and Hermione.

"Uh … guys? What's … going on?" he said slowly, scared to hear the answer.

Hermione straightened herself up and ran a hand through her hair. "James led a Muggle into the castle," she breathed, pointing at James and talking to Harry as if he was her mother.

"Hermione bit me," said James, standing up and ruffling his hair up.

"I'm not sure what's going on," said Ron, stepping forward as well.

"What?" said Harry in disbelief.

"James led a bloody Muggle into the bloody castle!" screamed Hermione.

"Hermione bit me, and … she … touched my hair!" shouted James.

"I still don't know what the bloody hell people are screaming about!" yelled Ron in frustration.

Harry put his hands on Ron's shoulder. "It's OK, Ron. James let a Muggle into the castle and Hermione bit him … because—"

She leaned in to Harry's ear. "Because he didn't tell Dumbledore."

"Because he didn't tell Dumbledore. OK?"

Ron breathed hard and nodded. "Oh … right. That's why … oh. Yeah, OK."

"OK. Now," Harry turned on James. "You."

James stood his ground. A small smile crept onto his face. "Harry," he said deeply, mimicking an adult. "I am your father."

Harry smiled, but didn't laugh, trying hard to see the big picture. Hermione crossed her arms and sat on a chair, but Ron looked at the two of them, confused.

"Muggle movie, Ron. You wouldn't know," mumbled Harry into his ear.

James's smile broadened. "Come on, Harry. We can go tell Dumbledore. She's just sleepin' upstairs."

"She's—she's sleeping," said Harry, laughing to stop from screaming.

He failed.

"She's just sleeping upstairs!" he shouted at his father.

"Hey, woah—I'll just go tell him myself. Yeesh. The future … no sense of adventure, mates," he said, clambering out of the common room.

Harry collapsed on one of the chairs as soon as the portrait door closed behind him.

Ron and Hermione moved over to Harry and sat down on the arms of Harry's chair on either side of him.

"What's wrong?" said Hermione, caressing his arm comfortingly.

"I'll … never be his friend, you know? I mean, with Sirius and Lupin, we clicked. You guys even clicked with them, but since he's my dad, you'd think it'd be … more. But I'm just someone he can brag at. I'll never be someone he could do stuff with, like … like making the Marauder's Map, you know? It just … I was expecting something else. Something … something more, I guess."

Just outside the Gryffindor Tower entrance, James Potter stood, stunned with the information he had just overheard.

The wall had let Harry's voice catch James on his way to the Headmaster's office, almost as if it wanted him to hear what had just been said inside the common room.

James, however, was not stupid.

He knew that Harry would not feel so strongly about being friends with him unless there was no way they could be friends during this time in Harry's life. But now, James was stuck thinking about why he and Harry weren't friends. Maybe Dumbledore will know, he thought, and continued walking in the direction of the entrance to his office.

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