Usual Disclaimers Apply
AN: OMG...I can't believe I'm actually writing another chapter. I'm so sorry that it's been nine months!!
Chapter 5: Visiting Lorelai
I walk up to my mother's grave. Such a cold word, grave. So final, so eerie. Most of the time, cemeteries freak me out, but this is my mother we're talking about. On the outside, I'm calm and collected, but on the inside, I'm hysterical.
I gaze at the simple headstone. Its message is simple. Lorelai Victoria Gilmore: Beloved Mother and Best Friend.
"Oh mom," I cry, falling to my knees. The grief that I've managed to keep inside for so many years is finally finding its way out. It is so overwhelming, I can't believe that I was ever able to function normally, let alone do it for eight years straight. Don't get me wrong, I grieved. But for the past eight years, my tears had been saved until the depths of the night where no one was able to see it. It felt so unusual to cry in the middle of the day, under the sunlight, where anyone could hear me.
"I've missed you so much." My tears are falling freely now, coursing down my cheeks.
Memories of the past eight years bombard me, reminding me what she missed. "Mom, I'm so sorry it's been eight years. I just, couldn't get up the courage to finally accept that you're gone and visit your grave. But....here I am." I feel so confused, at a loss for what to say, where to begin.
"I left town eight years ago. Moved to Minnesota, of all places. Horrible place, cold as all get out. I got a job at the local newspaper, and I'm doing well for myself. I made some friends. Met some guys." I choke out a strangled laugh.
"I married one of them." I pause for a minute to catch my breath. "Oh God, Mom, you've missed so much. I've missed you so much. I needed you. I need you now. My marriage is falling apart and I don't know what to do. Help, please, Mom."
To say I am shocked would not do the sentiment justice. Married? Who was he and how had he got to Rory? And why in the world would he let her go?
I shake my head. Jealous thoughts won't help me, and they most certainly won't help her.
My heart breaks at how deeply she's hurting. I can tell that she's trying to be strong, but little by little her resolve is breaking down as she fully realizes for the first time in almost a decade that her mother is gone.
Even I was distraught at learning of Lorelai's death and I hadn't even been close to her. But such an innately good, optimistic, happy person can't help but touch lives, even when they don't realize it or mean to. And as much as I suffered, I can't even begin to fathom what Rory feels, the emptiness that must permeate her soul.
I watch as Rory collapses to the ground. I rush to her side, kneel on the ground next to her, pick her up and cradle her in my arms.
Almost as soon as I collapse, I hear someone rush towards me and feel them pick me up with strong arms. I turn my head and gaze through watery eyes at Jess.
"Jess..." I whisper, and that's all I can get out before another wave of sobs wracks my body.
"Shh...." I hear Jess whisper. "Everything's going to be okay."
The gentleness of his voice shocks me. He tenderly strokes my face, and pulls my hair out of my face.
"Why did she leave me? I need her so much." The urgency in my voice shocks even me.
"I know you do, baby, I know you do." At the endearment, I break down again, burying my face deep into his shirt.
I let her cling to me as she slowly calms down.
As she regains her breath, she looks at me, almost guiltily and with sadness creasing her porcelain face. "I haven't been completely honest with you." I know immediately what she's talking about.
"Shh..." Although I'm dying of curiosity, I know this is neither the time nor the place. Beyond that, right now I feel needed and don't want that to end so quickly.
"We can talk about that later," I hasten to reassure her quietly. She nods her acknowledgment and she slowly expels the tension in her body.
Surprised, I realize that there are tears running down my own face. We sit in silence, mourning the loss of such a good woman.
AN: Again, I really sorry that it's been so long. I'm going to try and update more often now, but I'm quickly running out of ideas as to where to take it. I've got enough for a few more chapters and (not to spoil it for you guys or anything, but) I'm planning on introducing a crucial new character.
Oh, who do you guys think her husband should be? A new character, or one from the show?
Review, please?