Usual Disclaimers Apply

AN: Thank you everyone who reviewed. It means so much to me. I'd just like to personally thank and respond to a few people.

Thena: Thanks so much for all of the awesome reviews. I haven't written this in a while and I wasn't sure if I should continue. I completely agree with you...I was writing Jess so much better before....I guess I was just in a more angsty, Jess mood before. But I'm gonna keep trying to get him back in character...maybe once Rory isn't so clingy then he (and I) will go back to normal. But I want to warn you, I don't think that Jess will ever actually be the same as he was on the show...I mean, in my story he's had over eight years to grow up.

Anonymous: I'm completely aware that Minnesota isn't all that bad – I lived there for thirteen years. I just figured that I'd pick someplace where I could actually refer to specific locations that actually exist...if I ever get that far.

Lioness-07863: Thanks for the great reviews. What can I say; I'm just not really creative. Car accident just seemed...I don't know, easiest to write in...I'm hoping to write in more of Rory's feelings towards the deaths of Lorelai and Russell...Sorry I don't have a better explanation. One of the reasons that Lyle is introduced as just 'Gilmore' is that Luke doesn't know about Russ...and that Rory is kinda trying to erase her painful past (don't worry, she won't be able to). Hey, here's a better reason...I'm irrational and sometimes don't completely think things through.

Chapter 7: I'm a nut!

I never knew quite what people meant about their jaw dropping to the floor, but at this moment, I am experiencing it. I sneak a peek at Luke and am relieved to see that he's no better off than I am. My head goes back and forth between Rory and Lyle searching for a family resemblance. Once I start looking for it, it's not hard to find. The boy is about five years old, quiet and reserved. His unruly hair is the exact same color as Rory's used to be. His eyes are also exact replicas of Rory. In fact, the resemblance is so striking that I wonder what of her husband, Russell I remind myself, shows up in Lyle.

Luke regains his voice and his wits first. "Nice to meet you Lyle." Rory giggles at the absurdity of Luke's words and I'm brought back to the room.

I crouch down in front of Lyle and stick my hand out and say, "I'm Jess."

The young boy looks at me, his eyes penetrating deep. He carefully considers me before saying, "I like your shirt. They're good."

I look down and am surprised to see my Metallica tee-shirt. I'm thrown that the kid even knows what Metallica is.

Rory breaks the silence that has fallen over us again. "Luke, why don't you go get CJ a cup of coffee? I'm sure she's thirsty."

Luke scrambles out of the room.

Carrie looks at Rory. "You know that I don't drink coffee."

Rory just smirks. "You better go tell Luke that."

Carrie runs from the room.

I just look at Rory. "Sneaky, Ror. Very sneaky." She continues to smirk, a self-satisfied look coming over her face.

"Mommy, Mommy. I want to play." Lyle tugs on Rory's pant leg. She ushers him into the next room, swinging his bag onto the bed and quickly dumping the toys out. Gleefully, Lyle jumps onto the bed. I collapse into the chair next to the dining room table. Rory just sits beside me.

Lyle's toys: $135. Lyle: 27 hours of labor and $350 in hospital bills. The look on Jess' face: priceless.

I smile happily to myself. As I wait for Jess to formulate a coherent thought, I hear Lyle begin to sing quietly in the background.

"I'm an acorn, small and round
Lying on the cold, cold ground
People come and stomp on me
That is why I'm cracked you see
I'm a nut!"

"How old is he?" I look at Jess.

"He'll be five in three weeks. October 31st. He's a Halloween baby."

"He's cool...I mean for a little kid." He realizes how he sounds and visibly makes an effort to shut his mouth. We watch Lyle as he continues to play with his trucks, singing quietly.

"Called myself up on the phone
Just to see if I was home
Asked myself out on a date
Picked me up at a half past eight
I'm a nut! I'm a nut!
I'm a nut! I'm a nut! I'm a nut!

Took myself to the picture show
Sat me in the very back row
Wrapped my arms around my waist
Got so fresh I slapped my face
I'm a nut!"

As Jess absorbs the words, and subsequently comprehends their meaning, he glances at me sharply.

"Isn't that a little, well, suggestive for a kid not even five years old?"

I break into a fit of giggles before replying. "He doesn't know what it means. But when he came home from pre-school singing the little-kid version, I had to teach him the real words. At least this way I get a laugh."

"Huh." Monosyllabic man returns. I was wondering when that would happen, and I was afraid it would happen when Lyle came and he comprehends that I'm a mother. When Jess finally realizes that I'm not the same girl he once knew. Damn.

This is the first moment that I allow myself to acknowledge that Rory is different. I don't mean that in a bad way, it's just that she has matured, grown up; she has a kid for God's sakes. For the most part it's a good change. But now I don't know what role I can play in her life. She obviously won't love me like I love her – she just lost her husband. CJ down stairs is obviously someone she trusts deeply, her best friend. The people of this town belong in her life – they watched her grow up and can help her make sure Lyle grows up to become the best that he can be. Even Luke has a part – the almost fatherly role that he's played for more than two decades. But me? I'm just the screwed up, no good rebel from her past. A single mother doesn't need that added complication in her life.

Immediately, I start trying to rebuild my barriers beginning with that 'Huh.' I can't allow myself to get too attached. No, that would never do. I can't sit here anymore. The tension is too thick and she's waiting for me to make the next move. I have no idea what that move is supposed to be, so I stand up and storm out of the apartment. I go downstairs, and grab my coat.

As I exit the diner, I yell, "I'm going out." I can feel the heads whip in my direction, but I'm already gone.

I watch as Jess runs away. God, I've messed it all up. I sigh and make my way to the door.

"Mommy?" As I open the door, Lyle realizes I'm leaving. I turn to him.

"Ly, mommy's just going downstairs. You stay here for a minute. I'll be right back, okay?"

"Can I have a book?" I make my way back into the room, and reach onto the bed to grab his travel bag.

"What book do you want?"

"Magic School Bus." I hand him the magic school bus book, watch as he settles in to start reading and then walk downstairs.

"Carrie, I hate to ask you this, but-"

Carrie cuts me off. "I'll go watch Lyle. I think you need to talk to Luke."

"Thanks CJ." But she doesn't hear me; she's already halfway up the stairs.

Luke takes one look at my defeated posture and orders everyone out of the diner. Belatedly, I move to protest, but he just looks at me. "Thanks," I say.

"So." The one syllable is gruff.

"Yeah. Sorry. It's a long story."

"Where did he come from?"

I smirk. "Well, Luke, when a man and woman love each other very much-"

"That's not what I meant." I laugh. Sometimes it's just too easy to tease Luke.

"Yeah, I know."

"Alright, where's his dad?"

"His dad, my husband, is...dead." My voice cracks and betrays the emotionless tone that I'm trying to pull off. Stupid voice.

"Ror, I'm so sorry. I had no idea."

Oh God, I don't want to be having this conversation right now. Luke has never had any trouble reading me and he acknowledges my discomfort.

"Rory, go spend some time with your son. You could both use it."

AN: Okay, there it is. I know, I know, it's shorter again. But I'm kinda having some writers block. If you guys have any ideas or things that you think I should include, tell me. I'm really open to suggestions.