Usual Disclaimers Apply

AN: Thanks for all of the reviews. Just knowing people are out there reading my story gives me the incentive that I need to continue.

Chapter 8: Conversations

Feeling the full weight of the world on my shoulders, I trudge up and find Carrie watching a sleeping Lyle.

"Magic School Bus was just too deep." Carrie's voice is monotone, but I glance at her quickly and see her smile.

"Thanks for bringing him." I think back over my statement for a moment and quickly amend it. "And thanks for coming."

"No problem." I glance at her and raise my eyebrow. Chagrinned, she changes gears. "Well, maybe a little. But that's what friends are for right?"

"Actually, this is above and beyond the call of duty." I mean the statement sincerely, but Carrie can always manage to find the humor in any situation.

"What can I say? I've always been an overachiever."

I like to get the last word in with CJ, so dryly I add, "Ain't that the truth?"

We sober up for a moment. "CJ, how did my life get so far out of control?" She doesn't answer, acknowledging the gravity of my question, and I continue. "I've always run away from tough times. Mom died, I ran away. Russ died, I ran away. Although," I continue wryly, "it's harder to run away when you have a kid. If it weren't for Lyle, I don't know what I'd have to live for anymore."

Carrie just fixes me a steely gaze. "You know that's not true. You've got a lot of things going for you."

I laugh sardonically. "Yeah, but I don't have anyone to love me. The people that love me always leave me."

"First of all, your mom and Russ died. I'm sure they didn't want to leave you. Besides, a lot of people love you. Lyle loves you. I love you. Your friends in Minneapolis love you. This town loves you. Luke loves you."

"You know what I mean." This conversation is getting old really quickly. I can tell that Carrie just doesn't know the feeling.

"Jess loves you." Oh, jeez. She had to go and bring out the big guns, didn't she? I don't have a good counter argument, so I revert to kindergarten mode.

"No he doesn't."

"Yes he does."

"No he doesn't."

"God, I'm not having this argument with you. But rest assured he does love you."

"So what if he does? He's already left me once."

"Whatever. I'll let it rest for now. I'm going to go out and explore this quaint little town of yours while you rest here."

"Fine. Whatever." God, sometimes I sound like such a spoiled brat.

I'm sitting on the bridge scribbling in my notepad. Thoughts come to me when I'm sitting here, and I need to remember them for my novel. Unexpectedly, footsteps approach me on the bridge.

Without looking up, I say, "Go away Rory. I don't want to talk to you."

An unfamiliar voice replies, "Then it's a good thing I'm not Rory."

Reluctantly, I look up. "Carrie, isn't it?"

"Yup. And you are the rebel without a cause."

"Used to be. Now it's small-time-novelist."

"Actually, I prefer to classify you as guy-in-love-with-Rory."

"What are you talking about?"

"You're a horrible liar. But this conversation is making you uncomfortable, so I'll move on."

"Much obliged." My sarcasm is out; this girl is too blunt for her own good.

"So...." Carrie looks at me expectantly.

"You're the one who wants to talk." Again, my response is clipped and sarcastic.

"Alright, be that way." We lapse into silence for a while and I take the time to study Carrie. She's not remarkably beautiful, but she is definitely striking. Long, wavy blonde hair, piercing emerald eyes. She's tall and I noticed before that she towers over Rory. But she's not tall in a gangly awkward way, instead she carries (no pun intended) herself with confidence. She's slim, with a definite muscular quality to her. All in all, a very commanding presence.

"Tell me about Lorelai." Carries low voice breaks my concentration.

"What? Don't you already know all about Lorelai? Being Rory's best friend and all."

Carrie laughs. "I'm not anywhere near Rory's best friend. If she had her way, she probably wouldn't have any friends. Always got her nose stuck in a book, that one. But she's stuck with me. I'm her sister-in-law."

"Huh."

Somehow Carrie takes my syllable as non-committal. "Russell was my brother. I married a guy named Switt."

"Kinda got that."

"Whatever. So, Lorelai?"

"She was...unique. Very hyper, always high on caffeine. Can't say she ever cared much for me. I was, as you said, a rebel without a cause, intent in her mind on tainting Rory." For a moment I got lost in memories. "She was estranged from her high-society parents mostly because of having Rory. She managed to become successful, opened her own inn. The Dragonfly. She and my uncle, Luke, had just managed to get together when she had her accident."

"Tell me about it."

For a moment, it occurs to me that somehow Carrie had managed to get me talking despite my unwillingness, but I decide to keep going. Somehow, this is soothing. "From what I have gathered, Lorelai and Rory were coming home from their last Friday night dinner with Lorelai's parents. Lorelai was driving. They were almost to town when they were hit by a young guy driving drunk. Lorelai was killed instantly. Rory was admitted to the hospital with a couple of broken bones and a concussion. As soon as Luke got a hold of me, I hopped on the next flight. I got here and found that Rory had run away after checking out of the hospital. I missed her by two and a half hours. Two and a half fucking hours." I hang my head.

"Did they ever catch the guy who did it?"

"Didn't have to. As soon as the guy sobered up, he realized what he had done and he turned himself in. A guy by the name of Dean Forrester. Had just come through a nasty divorce with his wife." I pause and look up into Carrie's eyes.

"Dean was Rory's ex-boyfriend."

I lay next to my sleeping son, toying with his brown locks. He needs a hair cut, I think idly.

I think back to what CJ said about Jess. He doesn't love me. Does he? He couldn't. 'But why,' the devil's advocate in the back of my head counters, 'would he spend eight years here if he didn't love you? Why would he leave the flowers? And the notes? He said he loves you countless times in the notes.'

'But,' my other self argues, 'it's one thing to be in love with a memory of a girl who used to be. It's another thing entirely to be confronted with said girl, only to find she's not the same as she used to be. No. Jess doesn't love me, he loves who I used to be.'

Another bitter voice joins the argument raging in my head. 'Why does it matter so much whether Jess loves you? You just lost your husband. You aren't an adolescent anymore who can jump from one relationship to another. You're a mother with a kid to think about.' What that voice said made sense. That settled I become aware of my surroundings once more.

Lyle is staring at me quietly. "Mommy, are you sad?"

Startled, I answer, "No, why?"

"You're crying."

I reach up and realize that there is one tear coursing down my left cheek. "Don't worry, Ly. Mommy's going to be fine." I realize that this is probably going to be the best opportunity I will have to talk to Lyle about moving. "Lyle, what did Aunt Carrie tell you when she brought you here?"

Cautiously, Lyle begins to speak. "Aunt CJ said that you and me is moving here."

"Do you know what that means?"

"It means..." he continues slowly, "that we won't see Aunt CJ and Uncle Vic and everybody else in Minneapowis. Right?"

It breaks my heart to see his confusion. "Yeah, that's right. It means that we're going to stay here."

"Right here?"

"Not quite right here. Do you want to go see your new house?"

"We get to live in a house? Not an 'partment?"

I laugh. "A real live house."

I pick my son up and as we head to see our new house, I prepare myself to be bombarded by memories.

AN: I suck at dialogue. But sometimes, that's what is called for, so I tried. I'm trying really hard to develop my new characters. Are they believable? Let me know what you think...should I continue?