I opened my eyes to find myself surrounded by all sorts of beeping machines, where was I? I tried to lift myself up, but I felt so weak. I looked to my right, to see an IV connected to my hand. What in the world was happening? I tried to steady my vision, when I heard the door opening…it was Craig.
"Ash…your awake! Let me go get your parents." He yelled happily…he was giving me a headache and I didn't want to see my parents yet.
"No…don't." I whispered; I didn't know how hoarse my voice had gotten.
"What?" He took his hand off of the doorknob.
"Just sit here with me…please." I watched as Craig took a seat in the chair by me.
"How are you?" He held my hand; I could feel myself feeling a bit better.
"I don't feel to good." I answered truthfully…he already knew the truth.
"W-where am I?" I asked fearing the answer she was going to it.
"You don't know? Your in the hospital, Ash." The hospital? Well…yeah, I should've known I was in the hospital.
"Who checked me in here?" I asked not remembering the events before I came here.
"You don't remember?" I shook my head.
"Your mom took you here. You passed out at your house. You've been unconscious for a couple of days now." Me? Unconscious? This all didn't make any sense.
"We all thought that we were going to loose you."
"I don't want to loose you either." I smiled as I reached out to touch his face.
"Your parents know." He whispered, suddenly dampening the mood. I frowned not knowing what he was talking about.
"About the cancer." He said in a low whisper. Oh no…how could they know? What was going to happen to me? This had gone to far…way to far.
"Who told them? Did you?" I asked, suddenly feeling myself get angry.
"No…they found out. The doctors had been running a lot of tests on you. They were so mad at Paige and I for not telling them." I started to feel bad for all the trouble I had caused them.
"I'm sorry." I somberly whispered.
"Its not your fault." He needed to stop making me feel like I had nothing to do with this…this was my entire fault.
"Stop. This was my entire fault. Everyone knows now, there's no need to keep it a secret."
"Why'd you lie, Ash?" I stared at him…I didn't know why I had been lying so much, everything had been going so out of control.
"I don't know. I just didn't want any of you to get hurt. Now that I look back on it, I know it was a foolish thing to do, but I didn't know what else I could do. But its to late for apologies, I might not live long enough to see out of this hospital." I whispered.
"Don't say that."
"We have to face reality, Craig." Even though my reality wasn't so great…cancer wasn't something I had planed on.
"I wish I could start over…I wish this never happened Craig." I whispered, I really didn't have the energy to talk now; this cancer was sure taking a toll on me.
"Tell me you love me." I just wanted to hear him say it…since this might be the last time I see him…I'm such a drama queen. I watched as he hesitated a bit…I could tell he was scared.
"I-I love you, A-ash." He practically chocked out.
"Craig…I'm scared." I whispered truthfully, feeling tears brim my eyes.
"You're going to get through this." He tried to reassure me.
"What if I don't? What if I die?" I asked fearfully, thinking about my inevitable fate.
"Stop thinking like that, you're going to beat this." I shook my head; the tears were falling freely down my face.
"Maybe if I had told the truth…maybe this wouldn't have happened. This is my entire fault…I didn't mean for this to happen the way it's doing now. I don't want to die…I really don't." I cried, confessing all my fears.
"To think my biggest fear used to be, that I won't pass some silly test…now I'm in the hospital plugged up to all types of machines, thinking about death. How Ironic!" I laughed bitterly…my life was crumbling as I knew it and there was nothing I could do about it.
