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Challenge #23
Phrase: "You are so deeply irrelevant."
Word Count: 890
Rating: PG-13
Title: Bookworm
Author: Rydia Highwind
Disclaimer: Metal Gear Solid and Metal Gear Solid 2 and all characters refered to herein belong to Konami. I claim nothing, I'm simply borrowing.
Summary: Post MGS2. Jack reads a book while Dave and Hal play video games.
Warning: Yes, it is as boring as it sounds. I was so uninspired when I wrote this.
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It was late enough in the year that Dave had finally declared that the windows could be shut, much to his two roommates' relief. The sun was sinking slowly behind the New York landscape, but, having only an eastern facing window to look out of in the dingy little apartment, and having other things on his mind anyway, Jack wasn't really noticing such. The only evidence that he had noticed anything of the passing of the evening was the fact that he had asked Hal to switch on the ceiling light as the other man had walked by the switch, and then he continued to study his book.
Hal had given him a book earlier in the day, telling him that he'd like it, and since then, despite not really seeming like the bookworm type, Jack had been nose-first in the thing. Even with Dave sitting in the armchair near the sofa, putting up the television volume until Jack would notice only received a baleful glare for his efforts. This was uncharacteristic for the usually active young man, and equally was it unnerving to his two roommates, who were, after six months of living with the kid, unused to so much silence when the blond wasn't at work or somewhere else that was not the apartment.
Jack hadn't even put the book down to munch on the pizza Dave had ordered for supper that night, chewing thoughtfully on a piece of pepperoni as his eyes scanned further down the page. The conversation over dinner revolved mostly on Dave asking Hal if the pages in the book were laced with cocaine. Hal responded with a smile and an explanation that the book was just that good, ending with a recommendation that Dave read it as well. Dave pointed out the book's obvious soul sucking capabilities and confided that he liked his soul where it was. Jack, of course, had not responded except to flip the page expertly without even getting pizza grease on the paper.
After supper, Hal remained perched on the sofa, a black Gamecube controller in his hands and gray-green eyes glued to the screen of the television. Dave had a similar orange controller, though he was much less interested in the television. The screen was flashing a good amount of bright colors and emitting loud, happy noises, and the empty case of 'Mario Kart: Double Dash!!' was strewn haphazardly a few feet away. Dave was making some sort of comment about what he was going to do to 'that brunette bitch' if she didn't stop saying, "Hi, I'm Daisy!" when a voice popped um from a very unlikely source.
"This doesn't make any sense!" Jack complained irritably, still staring into his book. This, of course, stunned the other two inhabitants of the room into complete silence. Hal at least, possessing the mind of a true gamer, had enough presence of mind to pause the game in mid-race. Jack was frowning, looking rather distraught. "This sentence. Okay, so these two characters are fighting, and a third character comes up and interjects something. Then one of the ones fighting turns and says, 'You are so deeply irrelevant.' That doesn't make sense, does it? People can't be irrelevant, only facts...what?"
Jack had finally realized, it seemed, that his two roommates were staring at him skeptically. It was, honestly, the first time he'd spoken since he'd picked up the book, apart from guttural noises that were likely supposed to be either positive or negatives to whatever was being asked of him. This, it seemed, was lost on him, because he didn't seem to have a clue as to why he was receiving looks and raised eyebrows from his companions.
"Actually," Hal said, "that is technically correct. The person who interjected was not a part of the conversation to start with, so, by definition, he was irrelevant to the conversation at hand. It was probably something said in anger, too; take that into account."
"But how can someone be irrelevant? I mean, his whole existence can't be contrary to the argument, can it?" Jack argued.
Dave shrugged. "Well, he didn't necessarily mean the guy's entire existence was irrelevant to the subject. It was probably more like what he was offering was completely irrelevant. Or 'deeply.' Or whatever. It's just an expression, kid. Don't take it so literally. The guy was pissed off and that's just the medieval way to say 'fuck off' or something." Dave settled back into his seat with an air of disappointment, seemingly because the only distraction from the soul eating book was an argument over the use of a sentence Jack had never heard before. He grabbed his controller back again, which indicated he was ready to go back to trying to knock, as he termed it, the 'Princess Kart' (complete with Peach and Daisy and lots of pink) back off the edge of Rainbow Road.
Jack was frowning, torn between Dave's explanation and that little bit that just didn't quite make sense to him. He glanced at Hal, who simply shrugged and gave the younger man a look that read, "He's pretty much right, you know." Jack looked like he wanted to further the argument, but Dave was ignoring him and Hal just smiled and turned the game back on. Finally, he just sighed, opening his book again.