Lex stands in line at the Talon one hand in to the pocket of his black pants the other supporting the small sliver cellphone he's talking in to. Whatever the other person say on the other end cause a small smile to crawl along his lips. He say something in to the phone before moveing it way from his ear and steping up to the counter. Lana gives him a dazzling smile leans in and says something clever or stupid whichever it gets her a soft half smile
I'm mad at him or I was mad. I mean I should still be mad. After all he does have some odd shrine type thing with way too much information on me to make my dad comfortable in a locked room in the mansion. But God it's been two months (not counting the summer months I spent as a prisoner of my biological farther). Two months should be enough time to move past the whole "were not friend anymore" shock that I still get when I see him. But I still can't move past how I'm never going to see him turn that half smile on me or feel the way my stomach seems to drop to me feet when he say my name in that way that only Lex seems capable off. Lana moves to get his drink he hangs up the phone. His eyes gives a quick study of the room his gaze moves right over me. No more deep searching looks from those sharp gray eyes.
I feel like shit
It's my fault. After all I'm the one who called off our whole odd little friendship off. But that doesn't stop it from hurting when he looks right past me. Lana hands him his latte no whip cream. He gives her a smile as he pays and head for the door moving right past me like I'm not sit right there.
I called it off it shouldn't hurt me this much.
I'm to busy studying lex disappearing back to notice Lana sitting down across from me.
" You could always just make up. You know say your sorry"
Easy for her to say she went off to Paris for two months had lots of fun and came back with a new boy toy. I sent the summer... actually I'm still not quiet sure where I was. And what do I come home to? Worried parents who got so sick of watching me pout all day they kicked me off the farm. I'm not allowed back on the farm till I remember how to smile of till 10 which ever comes first. Than there's school. Who know history reports would be so hard with out Lex look over my shoulder telling me all the right quotes. Not to mention the pile of college applications I have yet to mail. Who ever said senior year was a breeze must have paid some one to get those forms out on time.
" It not that easy Lana"
" It really can't be that hard. Beside it has to be better than sitting around pouting all year. It is you senior year. You only get one of those you should go out and actually having fun."
Way easy for her to say she has a boyfriend to run around with. She also normal no wired alien powers to keep in cheek and she doesn't have to lie to her best friends about everything.
" Listen Clark Lex want to forgive you all you have to do is talk to him."
She can say that. She's never had a real fight with Lex their friendship is so solid you can build on it.
" Who say I'm the on that need to say sorry"
She gives me a smirk when did Lana start smirking.
" Come on Clark. If Lex were the offender he would have said sorry months ago. He would never let this stretch out the way you have."
She can afford to say that. If she lies to Lex all day ever day I'm pretty sure he'll just give her a little half smile pat her on the head and move on to the next topic. He won't do that with me. Maybe it's a good thing he won't accept my lies. Maybe it means I mean more to him or I could just be reading to deeply in to things. I know why he gets so frustrated with my lies. I would be frustrated if my best freind lied to me all the time. But it's not like I have that may choices it pretty much lie or not to lie.Truth is not an option It not that I want to hurt him it more like I can't stop. I can't afford not to. Maybe it better that where not friend. Now he won't have to ask me the question I can't answers and I wouldn't have to lie. I look down at the table there a coffee stain in the shape of peanut next to my cup of cold coffee. It may be the smart thing to do end it. But it doesn't mean it feels like the right thing to do. Lane reaches across the table and pats my hand.
" He's missing you too." she cuts herself off. I look up to find her give me a rather intense look searching my face for some answer she needs to know before she can continue.
" Clark I think it would make you both a lot happier if you would just tell him what ever it is your keeping from him"
God why does Lana think it can be that easy. Telling Lex would be breaking a promise to my parents. i can't do that no matter how much I would love to look watch him smile at me with that odd looking in his eyes that I still don't full understand and know I would never have to lie to him again, it's not something that I can do. Well not right now maybe never.
" What if I can't tell him Lana? What if I want to tell him but there so many reason why I shouldn't?"
She gave me a small secret smile I think Lana might have done some growing up this summer.
" Than you tell him what you can. You need to tell him something Clark because if you don't your both going to continue hurting. This is't going to go away if you close your eyes and pretend it not happeing.You don't want the what-if to haunt you for the rest of you life. They will always be there. Whispering their question at the back of you mind."
I reach across the table and pull her a hug. Yeah defiantly an all grown up version of the girl I've come to love as friend. She has grown from the fairy princes in to the gracious queen. She hugs me back hard and drops a kiss on my cheek
" Thank you Lana" she pulls back from the hug
" Go talk to him Clark he'll be at the mansion till 7 tonight than he going to Metropolises for the weekend."
I stand pulling my coat off the back of the seat.
" I think I'll wait till he gets back from Metropolises. I promised Chloe I'd come visit her this afternoon"
Lane gives me a little frown" Don't put it off for to long Clark you'll lose you chance"
" I won't put it off. Monday I'll go see him Monday"
She give me a lovely little smile the one that still set butterfly lose in my stomach.
"Tell me about it when you do"
" I promise" I give her a smile before head for the door. Monday I 'm going to see Lex on Monday and tell him what? I'm not sure I know what to say to make him forgive me. Because I'm suddenly very sure that I'm the one that needs to say sorry. Maybe I can't tell him everything but I need to find a way to stop the lies. I have all weekend to think about what need to be said. For now I need to find some flowers to take to Chloe.