Chapter 5: Death of a Teacher

Disclaimer:

Shawn: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho or any of the characters and techniques used in the following chapter. If I did Kuwabaka would no longer exist… WHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! (Cough)

Kuwabara: Hey!

Stacie and Jeni: Shut up Kuwabaka!

Shawn: Anyway… to the story! But first… random fact #1: I just got about 5 paper cuts on one spot on my finger and it really hurts to type right now… OK, now to said story.

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Announcer dude that I hired last night: When we left off, everyone had just gone to detention for the first time and many people got brainwashed by Barney. (The next day) Everyone that was sent to the detention room is pretty much over the whole Barney thing, but the occasional 'I love you' can still be heard in the hallway.

(Homeroom)

Yusuke: Man, I'm going to hate detention tonight. That gym coach is the spawn of evil. My arms are killin' me.

Stacie: (ruffling Hiei's hair) No, Hiei's the spawn of evil.

(Hiei sits up and starts acting like a loyal dog or something)

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Hiei: I am NOT her pet! I refuse to be her pet! Especially not a loyal one.

Shawn: It's my story. You'll be what I want you to be. If I tell you to where a pink frilly tutu, you'll wear one. Now put this on. (Holds out collar with 'Stacie's loyal pet demon' inscribed on it.)

Hiei: O.O ooh… it's red with black flames. (Grabs it and puts it on) can I keep it?

Shawn: Random fact #2- Hiei likes things that are red with black flames… Ahem. As long as you remain loyal to Stacie, you may keep it.

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(Hiei suddenly gets very close to Stacie, holding a leash in his mouth. This makes people across the room snicker.)

Hiei: Walk… walk… take me for a walk please?

All but Hiei: …

Mr. Orchico: Attention class, the principal has just sent an important announcement that anyone wearing a collar will receive 1,000 detentions.

Hiei: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Mr. Orchico: Sorry… that's a 10. (Hiei and Caina, who is wearing a black choker, sigh with relief) That's 2 detentions for both of you. There will be no sigh of relief in my class.

Kurama: He's annoying. (Hold up rose whip) May I? (Everyone nods. Kurama Casually walks up to Mr. Orchico and hits him with it, killing him. The entire class bursts into cheering and applause)

Principal: (over the intercom) Mr. Orchico has just passed away after an unexpected, yet completely hoped for attack. Will whomever did it please report to the office so they can have their picture taken and put in the awards case for the person that saved the school? That is all.

(Kurama walked up to the office. He had a really bad feeling there was some sort of trap)

Principal: Oh, yeah. Since there is no one to take Mr. Orchico's place, anyone who has his class may feel free to skip it. But if he gave you any detentions, you must still carry them out.

(Everyone runs out of the room in cheers and Kurama goes up to the office. The gang follows. There is a cop sitting there. When he walks through the door, the cop pulls a lever and a metal cage falls on him.)

Cop: You are under arrest for the murder of Mr. Orchico.

Kurama: I though killing him was a good thing.

Cop: It is, but this is standard procedure. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you do or say can be held against you in the court of the principal's office. (Stops and thinks for a minute) Your punishment for committing said crime is you must watch the detention room's entire collection of Barney tapes, which will take approximately one week straight. You will be fed bread and stale water in your cage every other day.

Jeni: No! Kurama! I shall set you free!

Cop: Would you like to join him?

Jeni: If I get to be with him, then of course!

--(Pre-Algebra, 9:35)—

(Hiei is desperately trying to figure out his homework from the night before because he was to busy learning what a playstation was than to do it last night. A girl named Lizzie walked up to him)

Lizzie: You're Hiei! Can I have your autograph? Please?

Hiei: What's an autograph? If it means not being loyal than I can't, see? (Points to collar) A/N: Random fact #3- Hiei really wants to keep that collar

Lizzie: No, it just means you sign this piece of paper. It's kind of a trophy for fans. (She holds out a paper that Hiei doesn't even notice says paper of ownership and starts going on about how Hiei will be hers, and only hers. Without glancing Hiei just signs neatly and legibly on the dotted line and a lawyer comes in and notarizes the paper and everything)

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Shawn: You just forfeited that nice collar.

Hiei: What? (Shawn goes into an instant replay of what just happened and zooms in on the contract he just signed.) That's not fair! She tricked me. She said it wouldn't mean I wasn't being loyal.

Shawn: Oh, all right. I'll let you keep it. For now.

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Hiei: Can you help me with this?

Lizzie: (reading paper) what is the square root of X to the second power. That's easy. It's X.

Hiei: Oh. I'm not too good with math. I've never had to do anything like this before. I mastered Alchemy once upon a time, but this stuff is just too hard. (Lizzie just gives him this dumbfounded look)

Stacie: (walks over to them) are you trying to take my Hiei away from me?

Lizzie: Yes.

Stacie: I joined the story first. You'll have to kill me before you get him.

Lizzie: How about I get him one day, and you get him the next?

Stacie: (thinks about it for a minute) that might work. I'll talk to my lawyer about it.

--(Hallways, 9:35)—

(Keiko and Botan are wandering around, stopping and talking to friends because their teacher is, of course, dead and they don't have to go to class. Everything goes fine until they go see Rose, someone they met in gym yesterday. Rose also got busted for the collar bit because she wears a white choker. Everything was going fine until the teacher, Mr. Pricable notices.)

Mr. Pricable: What do you ladies think you're doing out of class?

Keiko: We have Mr. Orchico right now.

Mr. Pricable: Well, you guys get five detentions each for disrupting my class. 3:00 Sharp. I don't care if you have any other detentions or not.

Botan: Great… just great. King Enma's getting mad because me and Koenma are late to work because of these detentions.

Keiko: Who?

Botan: Oh, never mind. He's just the person that gives us our 'cases'.

(Kuwabara walks up)

Kuwabara: Hey ladies!

Keiko: Ew, get away.

Kuwabara: What's up?

Keiko: I mean it. (He doesn't go away) RAPE!!!! HELP SOMEONE'S TRYING TO RAPE US! (A security guard comes to take him away and he suffers the same fate as Kurama and Jeni, only he actually likes Barney.)

--(Wrestling, 10:25)--

(Hiei's just sitting there waiting his turn patiently)

Coach: Hiei, you're up.

Hiei: About time. (His opponent steps up. He's this big kid that has to way at least 300 pounds. Hiei has to crane his neck to see the kid's face.) Oh, boy.

Coach: Begin!

(The kid grabs Hiei and throws him to the ground. Hiei cries for help for about five minutes as the kid's weight crushes him. Pretty soon he quits and just pulls out his katana and gets him off with that. He quickly puts it away before the teacher can see him)

Coach: Winner, Hiei. You've made the team and get to compete in the next meet.

Hiei: Oh boy?

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Announcer: And so ends another chapter to our story. Next time, what will happen in the next detentions. Who will get sent where? What will become of Kurama, Jeni, and Kuwabara after such long exposure to Barney? Find out in the next adventure of Team Urameshi in High School. (Exits)

OK, that was a bad one. I couldn't think of too much to write. But yeah. Same as before, if you want to be in it at LEAST give me a name and schedule. Description would be nice too.

Komjong Shawn