Disclaimer: The characters don't belong to me. Simple as that.
Author's Notes: I hope the new year is treating you well! Enjoy this new chapter, and thanks for all the wonderful reviews!
****
Be My Downfall
by Kristen Elizabeth
****
"Can I get you anything, babe? I mean it…anything. Name it and it's yours. Ice cream, pillows, foot massage." Duo rubbed his wife's lower back in slow, gentle circles. "Hilde-baby?"
The petite woman drew in several short breaths and expelled them all at once. Four hours into labor and she was already more than ready to grab the forceps and pull the kid out herself. Unfortunately, it seemed like the entire process had only barely begun.
"Duo, I love you more than anyone in the world. But if you don't stop chattering in my ear, I will fix it so you can never father another child ever again!"
He blinked, but took the outburst in stride. She was in pain, more than she was willing to admit. What had started out as a few cramps after breakfast had escalated into gripping contractions every twenty minutes that seemed to get worse every time.
"I'm sorry, babe. I'll try to be quiet."
Perhaps it was hormones, or how unbelievably wonderful he was, even when she was in her current state, but Hilde began to cry. "Duo, this is all really scary!"
"I know." He wrapped his arms around her, rocking gently. "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere. And we're gonna do this."
Hilde sniffed against his shoulder. "Easy for you to say."
"Yeah." Grinning, Duo gave her a soft kiss. "You look beautiful, babe."
"Liar. But I love you for it." She wiped her cheeks and pointed to the TV. "I need a distraction."
"I'm not a good distraction?" he protested.
"I need my soaps."
Kissing her again, he reached for the TV's remote and flicked it on. Hilde wasn't usually the soap-opera kind of woman, but since she'd been ordered out of working at the metal shop early on in her pregnancy by her doctor, she'd had a lot of free time to get hooked on the shows. He found her favorite quickly, coming into a hot and heavy love scene with lots of candles and saxophone music.
"Don't do it, Meredith!" Hilde called out to the half-naked woman on screen. She put a hand on her belly. "It's not worth the pain!!!"
Duo switched channels. "Let's find something a little less exciting." He stopped on another show, this time interrupting a cat-fight between two well-dressed women. "Now, here's something I can get into! Chicks slapping chicks."
"Careful, Maxwell," Hilde scowled.
He spread his hands in protest. "What? What did I do? Really, babe, I'm an innocent…"
"We interrupt our regularly scheduled programming for a special news update."
Duo glanced up at the TV again. "Look, you jinxed it!!" Hilde rolled her eyes.
"Good afternoon. I'm Marcus Wake at the L2 News Center where we have just received word that in only a few minutes, President Relena Peacecraft will be making a public statement from the Presidential Mansion on Earth. The press release we were given was vague, but it is believed that the President's speech is personal, rather than political, certainly an abnormality in an otherwise private administration."
Her labor pains forgotten, Hilde frowned at the TV. "Relena never discusses her personal life with the public. No exceptions."
"I know." Duo nudged the volume up, his own frown giving away his worry.
"We go live now to the Presidential Mansion. The President of the Earth Space United Nations, Relena Peacecraft."
The anchorman was quickly replaced by a live feed from the mansion's press room. There was a blank podium that bore the president's seal as well as the microphones from over a dozen different news sources. After a moment, Relena stepped up to the podium; she faced the continuous flashes from the reporter's cameras with a practiced eye.
"She looks so pale," Hilde commented. "You don't suppose she's sick or something?"
"Good afternoon," Relena began after delicately clearing her throat. "I have had many difficult duties as President, but the responsibility of issuing this press statement is perhaps the most personally trying of my career thus far." After a breath, she went on. "In recent weeks, a threat against the administration and my life has been instigated by parties unknown. And while our Preventers are employing their limitless resources and skills to find the perpetrators, this threat has begun to adversely affect my health." Relena braced herself with the sides of the podium. "In my body, there is currently one half of a poison that was meant to do me no harm until the other half was introduced. Unfortunately, it has reacted badly with my systems and they have started…to fail."
Hilde let out a little gasp; Duo blinked several times.
"I'm making this information public with a two-fold purpose. I will not resign the presidency while I am still capable of holding the position, but many of my more strenuous responsibilities will fall to my vice president, and I appreciate his cooperation and support very much." She paused for a moment. "My second purpose is far more selfish. I make an appeal now to anyone involved in the plot against my life or anyone who knows even the slightest bit about it. Whatever poison you gave me is not working in the way in which you intended it to. And if something isn't done soon, I could very well die before your intent is carried through. Please, if you know anything, contact the Preventers, anonymously if you so desire." She looked at the camera with watery eyes. "Thank you. I'm sorry I won't be able to take any questions, but my press secretary will be more than happy to do so."
With that, Relena stepped down from the podium. Heero appeared from off-camera in his pressed, olive-colored uniform; he put an arm around her to guide her away.
Duo muted the TV, and the room was completely silent for a long moment. "She's dying," he finally said.
Hilde's tears fell in steady streams down her flushed cheeks. "She's being so brave. I can't believe it…political bullshit aside, how could anyone ever try to kill her?! She's the nicest person in the entire world!!"
"The best outta all of us, for sure." Duo's chin rested on his chest. "There isn't such a thing as justice; Wufei can go fuck his justice." His fists were tight balls around the metal sides of Hilde's bed. "If she dies, everything I did…every person I killed, every life I destroyed, everything…it'll be for nothing, babe. Nothing."
"Please don't say that, Duo." Ignoring her tears, she pried his hands off the bars and put them on her stomach. "Heero was there with her. He won't let her die."
Her husband bent over until he could lay his cheek on the mound of his child. He'd meet the little person soon, but at that moment all he could do was wonder…how could he bring a child into a world without fairness, justice, or peace? Of course, he reasoned, it was a little late to be thinking about that. In true Maxwell fashion, he decided to think about something else. "You really think he loves her, don't you?"
"I do. Whether he's figured it out yet or not…he does." She drew in a huge breath; her entire body tensed up. "Contraction…"
Duo's head shot up. "Breathe, baby, breathe."
"Trying…" After a moment, she looked at him. "I want to go see her. When the baby can travel. I know we're not close or anything, but she is a friend. And I think she might need as many of them as she can get."
"Whatever you want, babe." He kissed the back of her hand. "Like I could say 'no' right now. It would be hazardous to my health."
The laboring woman nodded. "Good boy. Now get me that epidural guy before things get really ugly."
****
It was done and over with and Relena was glad for it.
In the privacy of her bedroom, she changed out of the linen suit she'd worn in front of the cameras and into a pair of Heero's boxer shorts and one of his shirts. The maid in charge of doing laundry had accidentally mixed them into Relena's wash, a happy mistake as far as Relena was concerned. If she couldn't sleep with Heero under her brother's watchful eye, she could at least be close to him this way.
She hadn't realized how much she'd become addicted to making love with Heero in only two weeks. But now, after another two weeks had passed by while she prepared both professionally and personally for the press conference, she found herself missing him as though one of her own limbs had been severed. He still stayed just down the hall and he still watched her with a bodyguard's eye, but Relena was growingly steadily frustrated with his failure to show up in her room, night after night. She wanted what they'd had. She wanted him. And if that made her a whore in her brother's eyes, so be it.
With a sigh, Relena sat on her bed and examined the neat row of pill bottles that adorned her nightstand. Drugs meant to boost her immune system, ward off migraines, help her regain her energy, and then more drugs to keep the other drugs from making her retain water, get nauseous, or fall into depression. It made her head spin, but she dutifully opened each bottle, shook out one pill and swallowed it with the help of a glass of water.
She was just taking the last one when there was a knock on her door. "Who is it?"
"It's me…Lucrezia."
"Come in."
Her brother's girlfriend, the woman who had helped her through several difficult points during the war, entered with a smile on her face. "I came to check on you before you got into bed."
"I appreciate it, but really, I'm fine." Relena drank the rest of her water and set the glass aside. "I feel like a junkie, though."
Noin nodded sympathetically. "But a very classy junkie." She paused. "Millardo is worried about you. He's afraid the press conference took too much out of you."
"Assure him that his sister is made of tougher stuff than that." Relena pulled her bare legs onto the bed and tucked them under her chin like a child.
"Do you want to talk about anything?" the older woman asked. "It's not official, but I do consider you as, well, a sister, Relena. I hope you might think the same of me someday."
Relena smiled softly. "I can see that happening. You're very good for my brother. And after everything…he deserves something good." She tucked her lower lip between her teeth for a second. "Are you at all religious?"
"Catholic by birth," Noin replied. "But it's been years."
"For me, as well. Heero doesn't believe in god; he believes in the philosophy of living a true life, because that's all you're guaranteed. One life."
Fighting back a small smile, Noin asked, "What do you believe?"
"I don't know. I've never wanted to think about it. It's far easier to immerse myself in trade agreements and border disputes. But now…" She shook her head. "I feel like I *have* to formulate at least a vague idea."
"You don't have to do anything, Relena." She stepped forward and reached out to touch the younger woman's smooth cheek. "You will have many years to consider life and what comes after it."
Relena closed her eyes. Noin's touch was soothing, but her words were mere platitudes. "You're right, of course. I'm sorry…the anti-depression drugs seem to be having the opposite effect on me."
"Don't apologize. Whenever you need to talk about whatever, I'm here for you. As is your brother. He might seem unreasonable, but in his own, unique way, he loves you very…"
Without warning, the door opened and Heero entered the room, making Relena's heart miss at least one beat. Upon seeing Noin, he froze.
Noin glanced back and forth between Heero's blank face and Relena's hopeful one. Clearing her throat, she nodded at the young man. "Good evening, Commander Yuy. Have you come to check on the President, as well?"
Heero blinked. "Yes. Of course."
"In that case, I don't see why Zechs should ever even hear about this." Noin moved towards the door. "However, I would advise that you both use discretion. He's a wonderful man, but there are some things he just can't handle." Giving them both a smile, she slipped out of the room.
Relena stood up on knees shaky with anticipation. "Did you really only come to check on me?"
"No," Heero replied. "Relena, I…"
"Shh." She beckoned to him with one finger. "Come here." When he was right up against her, Relena pushed his uniform jacket off of his shoulders. "I need you." She kissed him as she tugged the jacket the rest of the way off.
"Relena...wait..." Heero pulled her away to arm's length. "You need rest."
"No." She attacked his tie, loosening it and stripping it away. "I told you what I need." His shirt buttons were next; Relena undid them one by one. "You."
"Listen to me." He grabbed her hands just as she reached the last one. "I'm not going to put you in the hospital again just so we can fuck."
She winced at the harsh words. "Whatever you want to call it, I need it, Heero. I feel so dead already." Relena looked down at the carpet, fighting back tears. "I need to feel like I'm still alive."
"Relena..."
Her head snapped back up. "Please, Heero. Please."
Her eyes were wet, her lips were moist and she smelled like fresh flowers after the rain. He couldn't do it. He couldn't walk away from her. With sigh that was more of a groan, Heero hauled her against his body and buried his face in her hair. "What the hell have you done to me?"
She didn't get to answer. He took her lips roughly, conquering her tongue with his; he clutched her slender body as though he were drowning. After a moment, he jerked away, his eyes tightly shut. "Too rough…I'm always too rough with you." Heero looked back at her. "Not this time." He reached out and cupped her face in his hands. When his lips touched hers again, the furious drive gave way to gentle need.
Relena whimpered involuntarily. He wasn't going to fuck her this time. This time they would make love.
Still kissing her softly, but deeply, Heero lowered her to the bed. He let one hand trail down her side as he held himself up over her. She gasped when his skillful fingers slipped beneath the waistband of his own shorts. He tugged them down her shapely legs and broke their kiss as he tossed them aside. Relena swallowed. Although he knew every inch of her, she felt exposed to the new and very raw emotions emanating from his eyes.
"Take off your shirt," he instructed, his voice unusually hoarse.
She sat up on her elbows. "You first."
Heero was nothing if not efficient. Within seconds, he finished the job she had started and looked down at her, expectantly. Relena smiled and sat up all the way. Slowly, teasingly, she crossed her arms over her stomach and grasped the hem of his shirt. She pulled it off just as slowly, exposing her chest to his hungry stare inch by inch. Finally, she discarded it and lay back on the bed, her hand drifting up to cover one rosy crest.
He'd never gotten a sweeter invitation. Heero dove for her breast, temporarily forgetting all about being gentle. It was only when she cried out in mixed pleasure and pain that he remembered himself. "I'm sorry," he whispered around her nipple. He licked lightly, but insistently, making her moan. By the time he moved to the other side, she was writhing beneath him, her hair tangling against the sheets.
Relena closed her eyes when his kisses began trailing down her sensitive stomach. She was a woman who looked for silver linings. And if being poisoned had one, this had to be it. Heero reached the center of her body and it didn't take much coaxing for her legs to open to him. He kissed her sex through a damp layer of cotton; she bit her lip hard. Why did it have to be so wonderful? Why couldn't it have *not* lived up to her dreams? If it hadn't, there would be no pain when the goodbyes came.
And they would come. They always did.
Heero peeled off her last remaining article of clothing. Already more than ready for him, she was juicier than a peach and twice as sweet, he idly thought. He wanted to take his time. He wanted to make her come over and over again until she knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, how he felt about her.
But it wasn't what she wanted right then. Frantically, Relena urged him back up. When his hips were settled between her legs again, she reached for his belt buckle. "Hurry, Heero." She yanked off the belt and tore at his buttons and zipper. "Please…"
More than a little puzzled, he tried to help her, but she was on a mission of her own. He didn't like the tears in the corners of her eyes; they worried him. They made him want to know exactly what she was thinking, and if it was anything bad, he wanted to erase it forever, so she'd never have anything but contentment.
As she pushed his pants down his hips, Heero shook his head. She really had ruined the Perfect Soldier forever.
"Now, Heero." Her fingers wrapped around him as if to confirm that he was ready, too. She didn't have to guide him. He already knew the way to get home.
Her breathless sigh mixed with his groan as he sank into her. Relena wanted as much of him as possible; she folded her legs around his hips, smiling at the exquisite feeling. What had hurt so much at first was now nothing but pure pleasure. She looked down the length of their bodies. He disappeared into her, mixed with her. If
they couldn't be joined at the heart, at least they had this.
The thought made a single tear slip down her cheek. Heero frowned and shifted onto his elbow to catch the shiny droplet with the tip of his finger. "What's this for?" he asked, huskily.
"I don't know," she whispered. "I just…" Her throat closed up; why did words fail her when she needed them the most? "I love you so much."
Heero's gentle thrusts slowed. He looked down at her for a long moment. "Does this make you feel alive?"
She nodded. "Yeah." The word came out on an exhale as he moved and hit just the right spot deep within her.
He gave her a soft kiss. "You make me feel alive."
When she woke up in the morning, he was gone with nothing but a note next to her pillow to indicate that he had been there at all.
**You are alive.
Don't give up on me.
Heero**
****
To Be Continued
Author's Notes: I hope the new year is treating you well! Enjoy this new chapter, and thanks for all the wonderful reviews!
****
Be My Downfall
by Kristen Elizabeth
****
"Can I get you anything, babe? I mean it…anything. Name it and it's yours. Ice cream, pillows, foot massage." Duo rubbed his wife's lower back in slow, gentle circles. "Hilde-baby?"
The petite woman drew in several short breaths and expelled them all at once. Four hours into labor and she was already more than ready to grab the forceps and pull the kid out herself. Unfortunately, it seemed like the entire process had only barely begun.
"Duo, I love you more than anyone in the world. But if you don't stop chattering in my ear, I will fix it so you can never father another child ever again!"
He blinked, but took the outburst in stride. She was in pain, more than she was willing to admit. What had started out as a few cramps after breakfast had escalated into gripping contractions every twenty minutes that seemed to get worse every time.
"I'm sorry, babe. I'll try to be quiet."
Perhaps it was hormones, or how unbelievably wonderful he was, even when she was in her current state, but Hilde began to cry. "Duo, this is all really scary!"
"I know." He wrapped his arms around her, rocking gently. "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere. And we're gonna do this."
Hilde sniffed against his shoulder. "Easy for you to say."
"Yeah." Grinning, Duo gave her a soft kiss. "You look beautiful, babe."
"Liar. But I love you for it." She wiped her cheeks and pointed to the TV. "I need a distraction."
"I'm not a good distraction?" he protested.
"I need my soaps."
Kissing her again, he reached for the TV's remote and flicked it on. Hilde wasn't usually the soap-opera kind of woman, but since she'd been ordered out of working at the metal shop early on in her pregnancy by her doctor, she'd had a lot of free time to get hooked on the shows. He found her favorite quickly, coming into a hot and heavy love scene with lots of candles and saxophone music.
"Don't do it, Meredith!" Hilde called out to the half-naked woman on screen. She put a hand on her belly. "It's not worth the pain!!!"
Duo switched channels. "Let's find something a little less exciting." He stopped on another show, this time interrupting a cat-fight between two well-dressed women. "Now, here's something I can get into! Chicks slapping chicks."
"Careful, Maxwell," Hilde scowled.
He spread his hands in protest. "What? What did I do? Really, babe, I'm an innocent…"
"We interrupt our regularly scheduled programming for a special news update."
Duo glanced up at the TV again. "Look, you jinxed it!!" Hilde rolled her eyes.
"Good afternoon. I'm Marcus Wake at the L2 News Center where we have just received word that in only a few minutes, President Relena Peacecraft will be making a public statement from the Presidential Mansion on Earth. The press release we were given was vague, but it is believed that the President's speech is personal, rather than political, certainly an abnormality in an otherwise private administration."
Her labor pains forgotten, Hilde frowned at the TV. "Relena never discusses her personal life with the public. No exceptions."
"I know." Duo nudged the volume up, his own frown giving away his worry.
"We go live now to the Presidential Mansion. The President of the Earth Space United Nations, Relena Peacecraft."
The anchorman was quickly replaced by a live feed from the mansion's press room. There was a blank podium that bore the president's seal as well as the microphones from over a dozen different news sources. After a moment, Relena stepped up to the podium; she faced the continuous flashes from the reporter's cameras with a practiced eye.
"She looks so pale," Hilde commented. "You don't suppose she's sick or something?"
"Good afternoon," Relena began after delicately clearing her throat. "I have had many difficult duties as President, but the responsibility of issuing this press statement is perhaps the most personally trying of my career thus far." After a breath, she went on. "In recent weeks, a threat against the administration and my life has been instigated by parties unknown. And while our Preventers are employing their limitless resources and skills to find the perpetrators, this threat has begun to adversely affect my health." Relena braced herself with the sides of the podium. "In my body, there is currently one half of a poison that was meant to do me no harm until the other half was introduced. Unfortunately, it has reacted badly with my systems and they have started…to fail."
Hilde let out a little gasp; Duo blinked several times.
"I'm making this information public with a two-fold purpose. I will not resign the presidency while I am still capable of holding the position, but many of my more strenuous responsibilities will fall to my vice president, and I appreciate his cooperation and support very much." She paused for a moment. "My second purpose is far more selfish. I make an appeal now to anyone involved in the plot against my life or anyone who knows even the slightest bit about it. Whatever poison you gave me is not working in the way in which you intended it to. And if something isn't done soon, I could very well die before your intent is carried through. Please, if you know anything, contact the Preventers, anonymously if you so desire." She looked at the camera with watery eyes. "Thank you. I'm sorry I won't be able to take any questions, but my press secretary will be more than happy to do so."
With that, Relena stepped down from the podium. Heero appeared from off-camera in his pressed, olive-colored uniform; he put an arm around her to guide her away.
Duo muted the TV, and the room was completely silent for a long moment. "She's dying," he finally said.
Hilde's tears fell in steady streams down her flushed cheeks. "She's being so brave. I can't believe it…political bullshit aside, how could anyone ever try to kill her?! She's the nicest person in the entire world!!"
"The best outta all of us, for sure." Duo's chin rested on his chest. "There isn't such a thing as justice; Wufei can go fuck his justice." His fists were tight balls around the metal sides of Hilde's bed. "If she dies, everything I did…every person I killed, every life I destroyed, everything…it'll be for nothing, babe. Nothing."
"Please don't say that, Duo." Ignoring her tears, she pried his hands off the bars and put them on her stomach. "Heero was there with her. He won't let her die."
Her husband bent over until he could lay his cheek on the mound of his child. He'd meet the little person soon, but at that moment all he could do was wonder…how could he bring a child into a world without fairness, justice, or peace? Of course, he reasoned, it was a little late to be thinking about that. In true Maxwell fashion, he decided to think about something else. "You really think he loves her, don't you?"
"I do. Whether he's figured it out yet or not…he does." She drew in a huge breath; her entire body tensed up. "Contraction…"
Duo's head shot up. "Breathe, baby, breathe."
"Trying…" After a moment, she looked at him. "I want to go see her. When the baby can travel. I know we're not close or anything, but she is a friend. And I think she might need as many of them as she can get."
"Whatever you want, babe." He kissed the back of her hand. "Like I could say 'no' right now. It would be hazardous to my health."
The laboring woman nodded. "Good boy. Now get me that epidural guy before things get really ugly."
****
It was done and over with and Relena was glad for it.
In the privacy of her bedroom, she changed out of the linen suit she'd worn in front of the cameras and into a pair of Heero's boxer shorts and one of his shirts. The maid in charge of doing laundry had accidentally mixed them into Relena's wash, a happy mistake as far as Relena was concerned. If she couldn't sleep with Heero under her brother's watchful eye, she could at least be close to him this way.
She hadn't realized how much she'd become addicted to making love with Heero in only two weeks. But now, after another two weeks had passed by while she prepared both professionally and personally for the press conference, she found herself missing him as though one of her own limbs had been severed. He still stayed just down the hall and he still watched her with a bodyguard's eye, but Relena was growingly steadily frustrated with his failure to show up in her room, night after night. She wanted what they'd had. She wanted him. And if that made her a whore in her brother's eyes, so be it.
With a sigh, Relena sat on her bed and examined the neat row of pill bottles that adorned her nightstand. Drugs meant to boost her immune system, ward off migraines, help her regain her energy, and then more drugs to keep the other drugs from making her retain water, get nauseous, or fall into depression. It made her head spin, but she dutifully opened each bottle, shook out one pill and swallowed it with the help of a glass of water.
She was just taking the last one when there was a knock on her door. "Who is it?"
"It's me…Lucrezia."
"Come in."
Her brother's girlfriend, the woman who had helped her through several difficult points during the war, entered with a smile on her face. "I came to check on you before you got into bed."
"I appreciate it, but really, I'm fine." Relena drank the rest of her water and set the glass aside. "I feel like a junkie, though."
Noin nodded sympathetically. "But a very classy junkie." She paused. "Millardo is worried about you. He's afraid the press conference took too much out of you."
"Assure him that his sister is made of tougher stuff than that." Relena pulled her bare legs onto the bed and tucked them under her chin like a child.
"Do you want to talk about anything?" the older woman asked. "It's not official, but I do consider you as, well, a sister, Relena. I hope you might think the same of me someday."
Relena smiled softly. "I can see that happening. You're very good for my brother. And after everything…he deserves something good." She tucked her lower lip between her teeth for a second. "Are you at all religious?"
"Catholic by birth," Noin replied. "But it's been years."
"For me, as well. Heero doesn't believe in god; he believes in the philosophy of living a true life, because that's all you're guaranteed. One life."
Fighting back a small smile, Noin asked, "What do you believe?"
"I don't know. I've never wanted to think about it. It's far easier to immerse myself in trade agreements and border disputes. But now…" She shook her head. "I feel like I *have* to formulate at least a vague idea."
"You don't have to do anything, Relena." She stepped forward and reached out to touch the younger woman's smooth cheek. "You will have many years to consider life and what comes after it."
Relena closed her eyes. Noin's touch was soothing, but her words were mere platitudes. "You're right, of course. I'm sorry…the anti-depression drugs seem to be having the opposite effect on me."
"Don't apologize. Whenever you need to talk about whatever, I'm here for you. As is your brother. He might seem unreasonable, but in his own, unique way, he loves you very…"
Without warning, the door opened and Heero entered the room, making Relena's heart miss at least one beat. Upon seeing Noin, he froze.
Noin glanced back and forth between Heero's blank face and Relena's hopeful one. Clearing her throat, she nodded at the young man. "Good evening, Commander Yuy. Have you come to check on the President, as well?"
Heero blinked. "Yes. Of course."
"In that case, I don't see why Zechs should ever even hear about this." Noin moved towards the door. "However, I would advise that you both use discretion. He's a wonderful man, but there are some things he just can't handle." Giving them both a smile, she slipped out of the room.
Relena stood up on knees shaky with anticipation. "Did you really only come to check on me?"
"No," Heero replied. "Relena, I…"
"Shh." She beckoned to him with one finger. "Come here." When he was right up against her, Relena pushed his uniform jacket off of his shoulders. "I need you." She kissed him as she tugged the jacket the rest of the way off.
"Relena...wait..." Heero pulled her away to arm's length. "You need rest."
"No." She attacked his tie, loosening it and stripping it away. "I told you what I need." His shirt buttons were next; Relena undid them one by one. "You."
"Listen to me." He grabbed her hands just as she reached the last one. "I'm not going to put you in the hospital again just so we can fuck."
She winced at the harsh words. "Whatever you want to call it, I need it, Heero. I feel so dead already." Relena looked down at the carpet, fighting back tears. "I need to feel like I'm still alive."
"Relena..."
Her head snapped back up. "Please, Heero. Please."
Her eyes were wet, her lips were moist and she smelled like fresh flowers after the rain. He couldn't do it. He couldn't walk away from her. With sigh that was more of a groan, Heero hauled her against his body and buried his face in her hair. "What the hell have you done to me?"
She didn't get to answer. He took her lips roughly, conquering her tongue with his; he clutched her slender body as though he were drowning. After a moment, he jerked away, his eyes tightly shut. "Too rough…I'm always too rough with you." Heero looked back at her. "Not this time." He reached out and cupped her face in his hands. When his lips touched hers again, the furious drive gave way to gentle need.
Relena whimpered involuntarily. He wasn't going to fuck her this time. This time they would make love.
Still kissing her softly, but deeply, Heero lowered her to the bed. He let one hand trail down her side as he held himself up over her. She gasped when his skillful fingers slipped beneath the waistband of his own shorts. He tugged them down her shapely legs and broke their kiss as he tossed them aside. Relena swallowed. Although he knew every inch of her, she felt exposed to the new and very raw emotions emanating from his eyes.
"Take off your shirt," he instructed, his voice unusually hoarse.
She sat up on her elbows. "You first."
Heero was nothing if not efficient. Within seconds, he finished the job she had started and looked down at her, expectantly. Relena smiled and sat up all the way. Slowly, teasingly, she crossed her arms over her stomach and grasped the hem of his shirt. She pulled it off just as slowly, exposing her chest to his hungry stare inch by inch. Finally, she discarded it and lay back on the bed, her hand drifting up to cover one rosy crest.
He'd never gotten a sweeter invitation. Heero dove for her breast, temporarily forgetting all about being gentle. It was only when she cried out in mixed pleasure and pain that he remembered himself. "I'm sorry," he whispered around her nipple. He licked lightly, but insistently, making her moan. By the time he moved to the other side, she was writhing beneath him, her hair tangling against the sheets.
Relena closed her eyes when his kisses began trailing down her sensitive stomach. She was a woman who looked for silver linings. And if being poisoned had one, this had to be it. Heero reached the center of her body and it didn't take much coaxing for her legs to open to him. He kissed her sex through a damp layer of cotton; she bit her lip hard. Why did it have to be so wonderful? Why couldn't it have *not* lived up to her dreams? If it hadn't, there would be no pain when the goodbyes came.
And they would come. They always did.
Heero peeled off her last remaining article of clothing. Already more than ready for him, she was juicier than a peach and twice as sweet, he idly thought. He wanted to take his time. He wanted to make her come over and over again until she knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, how he felt about her.
But it wasn't what she wanted right then. Frantically, Relena urged him back up. When his hips were settled between her legs again, she reached for his belt buckle. "Hurry, Heero." She yanked off the belt and tore at his buttons and zipper. "Please…"
More than a little puzzled, he tried to help her, but she was on a mission of her own. He didn't like the tears in the corners of her eyes; they worried him. They made him want to know exactly what she was thinking, and if it was anything bad, he wanted to erase it forever, so she'd never have anything but contentment.
As she pushed his pants down his hips, Heero shook his head. She really had ruined the Perfect Soldier forever.
"Now, Heero." Her fingers wrapped around him as if to confirm that he was ready, too. She didn't have to guide him. He already knew the way to get home.
Her breathless sigh mixed with his groan as he sank into her. Relena wanted as much of him as possible; she folded her legs around his hips, smiling at the exquisite feeling. What had hurt so much at first was now nothing but pure pleasure. She looked down the length of their bodies. He disappeared into her, mixed with her. If
they couldn't be joined at the heart, at least they had this.
The thought made a single tear slip down her cheek. Heero frowned and shifted onto his elbow to catch the shiny droplet with the tip of his finger. "What's this for?" he asked, huskily.
"I don't know," she whispered. "I just…" Her throat closed up; why did words fail her when she needed them the most? "I love you so much."
Heero's gentle thrusts slowed. He looked down at her for a long moment. "Does this make you feel alive?"
She nodded. "Yeah." The word came out on an exhale as he moved and hit just the right spot deep within her.
He gave her a soft kiss. "You make me feel alive."
When she woke up in the morning, he was gone with nothing but a note next to her pillow to indicate that he had been there at all.
**You are alive.
Don't give up on me.
Heero**
****
To Be Continued