Disclaimer: Characters within do not belong to me.
Author's Notes: Sorry for the lateness of this chapter! Thank you everyone who have been hanging on with this story. I hope it's worth it, and will continue to be so;)
****
Be My Downfall
by Kristen Elizabeth
****
"The key to finding the perps is how the poison was administered." Wufei paced back and forth in front of the conference table, his hands folded behind his back. He looked almost comical, although no one in the room was laughing. "If we can trace it to a source, we'll have a much better shot at tracking down the source of the source."
Trowa's green eyes skimmed over the discouragingly thin folder that cased the few pieces of information they'd gathered on the case. "Assuming that an airborne agent would be too difficult to control…"
"We assume nothing," Lady Une told him, quite firmly.
"Then we have nothing." Heero ran his hands through his hair. "Relena can't remember anything she did that was out of the ordinary in the time leading up to the initial note."
"You've gone back over her schedule?"
"I have," Wufei answered for his partner. "Nothing special. Meetings, briefings, a few dates, some charity functions, including…"
"Dates?"
Trowa glanced at Heero whose entire demeanor had suddenly darkened. "Does that surprise you?" He returned his attention to his report. "She has political power and a great set of legs."
"Leave her legs out of your thoughts, Barton."
"Why should he?" Wufei challenged. "Just because you've recently decided they're worth a second look?"
Une held up her hands before Heero could react. "Grow up, boys, or get the hell out of my organization." She stood. "Yuy, you go over her schedule with her once more." She hesitated as though she wanted to say more.
"What?" Heero prompted, still glaring at Trowa who didn't appear to notice or care.
"Dr. Po is worried about something. She's calling the President in for blood tests today." Une moved to the door. "This isn't a good time to start bickering like children."
A moment of silence passed after their commanding officer left. Finally, Trowa spoke. "You should be with her."
"Relena can make it through a few tests without me."
He closed the file folder and set it aside. "Where exactly did you spend last night, Heero?"
"Go to hell."
Wufei shook his head. "Unnecessary question, Barton. There's lipstick on his neck." Heero's hand shot to his throat. "Other side."
"Where I sleep is none of your damn concern."
Trowa nodded. "Probably not."
"I disagree," Wufei injected. "You're too close to the center of our mission. Your judgment is blurred, and it will inevitably affect important decisions you might be called upon to make."
"You don't think that by falling for his ward, the guardian's protection isn't swayed, but intensified?"
"Falling? Who said I was falling?" Heero scowled.
"I think that there's a necessary wall between us and the people we work for. And you can't fuck around that wall."
"As ever, Chang, you are the soul of tact."
Heero started for the door. "I'm sick of listening to the two of you discuss my life as if it was yours to run."
"Just why are you sleeping with her, anyway?" Wufei called out. "You're not the type to lead a woman on. And it's not like you want to spend the rest of your life as Mr. Relena Peacecraft."
"You're right. I don't." With his hand on the door, Heero snorted softly. "That's a role for Quatre, not me."
It was Trowa's voice this time that grew cold. "Quatre has a thing for the President?"
Heero ignored his question. "I don't see much of a life for myself. Maybe I just want to spend whatever's left of it with someone who loves me." He pulled the door open. "Repeat that to Maxwell, and I will bury you where no one will ever find you."
****
Quatre had taken up temporary residence at the most expensive hotel in the capital city. It took Trowa approximately five seconds to locate him, and only thirty minutes to arrive at his door, having absolutely no idea what had driven him there.
He rested his forehead on the brocade-covered wall. He should have never taken Heero's wartime advice about following emotions to heart. At least, if he was going to at all, he should have done it consistently. If he had, he might not be standing in this decadent hallway, working up the courage to talk the man who'd had the greatest influence on his life thus far.
The man he'd crushed with one, emotionless act.
Trowa could still remember what it felt like to wake up next to Quatre's warm body even though he'd only done it once. It was like every demon that plagued him had been laid to rest in that moment, and all he'd felt was pure contentment. He'd loved and been loved by an angel in the night.
Quatre had whispered that word repeatedly. Love. He'd wanted to believe that it was just the thoughtless things people say when pleasure wipes everything else away. He hadn't wanted to acknowledge the fact that he'd felt it, too. Felt it, but hadn't said it.
Maybe that had made it easier to get dressed and leave before Quatre even woke up.
A maid passed by with her cleaning cart, shaking Trowa back into the present. He swallowed, gathered his courage, and knocked on the heavy oak door.
Minutes passed. Trowa stood still, waiting. Just when he was about to give up, the door opened. Quatre held it open with his foot and crossed his arms over his blue sweater. The sleeves were too big, making him look painfully young.
"I was debating whether or not I was ready to talk to you," he explained, his voice slightly hoarse.
Trowa nodded. "Can I come in?"
The room was ornately furnished, much like the dozen mansions Quatre called home. The bed hadn't been made up yet; the sheets were rumpled, the pillows cast aside. Quatre never used them. He remembered Quatre's comment that night about how strange it was to put his head on something to sleep, and even stranger that it was someone's chest.
The last time he'd been alone in a room with a bed with the blonde man, they hadn't been able to stop themselves from tumbling into it.
"It's all right," Quatre said, as though he could read Trowa's very thoughts. "I have no plans to 'jump' you. I respect your choices."
"About that so-called choice…"
"You don't have to explain, you know. You didn't then, and you don't now." Quatre moved across the room towards the tiny bar. "Do you want something to drink?"
"It's early."
He shrugged. "It's late on L4." After fixing himself his usual, a gin and tonic easy on the gin, Quatre took a fortifying sip. "What brings you here?"
"We need to talk."
"About?"
"Us."
Quatre smiled around the rim of his glass. "There is no 'us,' Trowa."
He took a few steps closer to the bar. "There was."
"Once." Sea-green eyes flashed, uncharacteristically. "No more."
"Quatre, you don't understand what…"
"I understand perfectly. I read the note." He set down his glass. "How did it go? Forgive me if I misquote you; it's been a few years." Quatre paused before beginning. "'I made a mistake. This isn't what I want. I'm going back to Catherine. Find someone else.' Did I leave anything out?"
"No." Trowa glanced down at the carpet. "That was pretty much it."
Watching him, Quatre shook his head. "It took me a very long time to come to terms with that note, Trowa. But I did. I learned, with the help of understanding friends, that I couldn't expect you to be something you're not."
"Something I'm not."
"Gay," Quatre clarified. "One time, a homosexual does not make."
"Does that go for you, too?" Trowa wondered out loud. "Or are you sniffing around the President purely to antagonize Heero?"
Quatre looked away. "Relena is my friend. But if I weren't what I am, I'd have asked her to marry me a long time ago." A moment passed. "Look, Trowa, I hold no grudges. I'm not even holding on to any lingering feelings. And I've never told anyone about that night." He put his finger against his lips. "Your secret is safe. You can go now."
"Is that what you want? For me to go?"
"I never really got a choice in the matter until now, did I?"
Something snapped inside Trowa's chest. Maybe it was the bitterness in a man who should never feel its sting, or the shadow of hurt in the eyes that had once looked up at him with passion and love. He didn't know. But he found himself lashing out. "What was I supposed to do?! Keep on dirtying you with my sins?"
"That dirty hands routine is already licensed by Heero."
"You have no idea…" Trowa's head swayed back and forth. "No idea how hard it was to leave that morning when all I wanted was to…touch you…just once…just once more."
Quatre closed his eyes. "And you have no idea how much I wish I could believe that."
"I wasn't running back to Catherine, Quatre." Trowa reached the bar. "Even though that's where I went."
"And she really didn't have any problem with your experimentations?"
Reaching out, Trowa touched Quatre's chin, f orcing his eyes open. "You know that's not what I was doing that night."
"Then what did happen that night? Besides really great sex."
His long fingers caressed the perfect line of Quatre's clean-shaven jaw. "You woke up things inside of me…that I'd never let myself acknowledge. And that's what I ran away from. Not you."
Quatre pulled away abruptly. "You'd better go. With the alcohol and all, I'm not sure I can keep that promise not to jump you."
"I'm not going anywhere."
"Yes, you are." The shorter man pointed to the door. "Go. Give me some time to think."
With much hesitation, Trowa walked back to the door. "I will be back."
Quatre picked up his glass, but didn't drink. "You have things to think about, too, Trowa. Don't do this just because you feel guilty about leaving me. I've gotten along fine without you."
"Guilt," Trowa began as he opened the door. "Hasn't given me a hard-on every day for four years."
****
"Should I be nervous about this?" Relena asked as Sally fixed a rubber tourniquet around the bend of her elbow.
"I thought needles didn't bother you."
"Not the needle. Whatever tests you're performing. The urine sample and now the blood…what else could possibly be wrong with me?" She glanced away when the needle pierced her skin. Even though it didn't bother her, she still didn't like seeing it.
Sally extracted the needle after drawing a sufficient amount of blood. "Hopefully, nothing. I just want to check something out." She bandaged Relena's arm and smiled at her. "Stay here. I'm going to go down to the lab. We should have the results in just a few minutes."
Relena sighed and bent her arm back and forth, testing it. Sally was good; she hardly felt any pain.
The request to come down to the Med Bay had worried her, which was why she hadn't wasted any time getting there. She'd driven herself. Contrary to popular belief, she could do something as simple as operate a vehicle. All right, there hadn't been a bodyguard with her, but it wasn't like anyone could get around the house's security to do anything to her car, like plant a bomb or mess with the brakes. And even if they could have, what good would a bodyguard have done in that situation? She sighed.
"Heero's going to kill me when he finds out."
"Finds out what?"
She jumped at least three inches on the examination table. "Oh my god, Heero! That's it! I'm putting a cow bell on you!!"
He came all the way into the room. "What's going on, Relena? Has Sally told you anything?"
"Nothing. She just took some blood." His expression was worried, and her heart melted a little more. "I'm sure she's just being thorough. I feel fine." A blush tinted her cheeks. "After last night, better than fine."
Heero approached the table, resting his hands on her knees. Face to face, he murmured, "Good."
"Your note…" In her lap, Relena's hands shook. "I won't, Heero. I couldn't ever give up on…"
He stopped her with a soul-searing kiss. As they kissed, his hands skimmed up the length of her smooth thighs underneath her skirt. "I know," he finally said.
Relena leaned forward and laid her cheek on his shoulder. Her legs parted naturally and Heero pulled her closer to his chest. "Can we always be just like this?"
He replied by wrapping his arms around her slender body. Her hair smelled sweetly floral; he inhaled deeply. "Right now, Relena. That's the only thing anyone can promise."
Sally found them still embracing when she reentered the room twenty minutes later. Tapping the edge of her clipboard against the stainless steel counter, she caught their attention. "Results are back."
Heero pulled away, but kept Relena close. "For what kind of test?"
The doctor folded her arms around the thin, wooden board. "Relena, when was your last period, again?"
"Um…the beginning of last month. Why do you…" She stopped cold. "No."
"Yes," Sally corrected her.
Heero wasn't a slow man, but he was slow to catch on. "Yes, what?"
"Yes, Relena is pregnant." Sally winked at him. "Yes, you're going to be a father."
The clock on the wall ticked off several minutes before Relena's soft voice broke the silence. "No. He won't be."
****
A baby.
Heero stared at a place just over Sally's shoulder, but his eyes saw nothing. A baby meant he would be a father. A father. Of all things.
He closed his eyes. He knew there had to be a hundred practical thoughts he should be having, but all he could think about was a little person with Relena's eyes and his hair, beaming up at him with its mother's smile.
It should have terrified him. What really scared him was that it didn't.
But then, Relena spoke.
"No. He won't be."
Heero's eyes opened and he looked back at her. "Relena?"
She couldn't stop her tears under the weight of his stare. "Oh god…please don't hate me, Heero."
Visibly stunned, Sally backed up a few steps. "I should give you two a moment…"
"No, wait." Relena held out her hand. "Dr. Po…Sally, you have to understand. All my life I've wanted to be a mother." She smiled weakly. "A mother to Heero's children." His Adam's apple visibly bobbed as he swallowed. "But this isn't…it's not the right…" She stopped. "Do you see?"
Sally set aside her clipboard. "Even if I didn't, it wouldn't be my choice to make. I'll be just down the hall in case you need me."
Once she was gone, Heero stepped away from the exam table upon which Relena still sat. "I don't see. So explain it."
Relena pushed the tears off her cheeks although they were still coming at a steady pace. "Let's say I keep the baby. What happens if four or five months from now, whoever poisoned me resurfaces and makes a demand?"
"I track them down."
"Stop thinking like a soldier and start thinking like a father," she snapped. "You know I wouldn't give in to terrorist demands if only my own life was at stake." Relena touched her belly. "But if it wasn't only my life in danger…"
Heero walked to the other side of the room, keeping his back to her. "I see now." He paused. "We should have been more careful."
She nodded, but he couldn't see it. "I can't give them this kind of leverage over me. No matter…" Her steady tone cracked. "No matter how much I want…" Sobs overtook her words.
He turned back around abruptly. She was bent over at the waist, clutching her stomach. Her hair cascaded all around her face. He stepped forward, his first instinct to go to her. To comfort her. But something held him back.
"Relena. Don't cry." Heero reached for a tissue box on the counter and drew out a few sheets for her. "If this is your decision, it's the right one."
She peered at him from behind her long bangs as she reached for them. "It's not only my decision, Heero. Half of it is yours."
The clear picture he had in his mind of their baby faded and was replaced with cold reality. He wasn't a family man. Obviously some higher power was trying to make that as clear as possible. "I think…" He looked up at the harsh overhead light. "I think it's probably the best solution. Neither of us are in a position to bring a child into the world, are we?"
Her reply was whisper soft. "I suppose not."
"I'll be with you. When you have it done."
Relena shook her head. "That won't be necessary. It probably won't be for a week or two, anyway." She blotted away the last of her tears with the tissues and slipped off the exam table. "Keeping it from the press won't be too hard; Sally did the test herself and she'd never tell anyone. I'll ask her to perform the procedure, too."
"Sounds…fine."
They stared at each other for a long moment. "Are you going to tell your brother?" he finally asked.
"Do you have a death wish?"
Heero snorted. "I can handle Zechs."
"Well, it won't be necessary. I may tell Miss Noin, but only because I'll need her help afterwards while I'm recovering."
"I told you I'd…"
Relena cut him off. "And I told you that it's not necessary."
"Relena, goddamnit! I'm just trying to…help." He glanced away. Some help he'd been. He had a case of condoms in the apartment he hadn't seen in weeks, yet he'd never thought about using one in all the times they'd come together. He'd only thought of the thundering desire, the overwhelming urge to be inside her; he hadn't thought about what he could do to her.
"Heero." He felt her cool fingers against his cheek. "Thank you. But I'm going to be fine. Women do this every day."
**But you're not just any woman.**
Heero nodded. "Of course." He jerked away from her. "I'll go get the car."
She called out to him, but he was already halfway out the door. Only a second after he slammed it shut, it opened again. Sally glanced back over her shoulder. "Is everything all right?"
"He's just…upset."
The doctor looked back at her patient. "This is huge, life-altering news, Relena. Any decision you and Heero make shouldn't be made quickly. Take your time, consider all your options and…"
"Time is something we don't have a lot of," Relena said, folding her arms. "In fact, while I'm here, I need to schedule another appointment with you."
"For your first pre-natal check-up?" Sally asked, hopefully.
"No." Relena's lower lip trembled. "Not quite."
****
To Be Continued
Author's Notes: Sorry for the lateness of this chapter! Thank you everyone who have been hanging on with this story. I hope it's worth it, and will continue to be so;)
****
Be My Downfall
by Kristen Elizabeth
****
"The key to finding the perps is how the poison was administered." Wufei paced back and forth in front of the conference table, his hands folded behind his back. He looked almost comical, although no one in the room was laughing. "If we can trace it to a source, we'll have a much better shot at tracking down the source of the source."
Trowa's green eyes skimmed over the discouragingly thin folder that cased the few pieces of information they'd gathered on the case. "Assuming that an airborne agent would be too difficult to control…"
"We assume nothing," Lady Une told him, quite firmly.
"Then we have nothing." Heero ran his hands through his hair. "Relena can't remember anything she did that was out of the ordinary in the time leading up to the initial note."
"You've gone back over her schedule?"
"I have," Wufei answered for his partner. "Nothing special. Meetings, briefings, a few dates, some charity functions, including…"
"Dates?"
Trowa glanced at Heero whose entire demeanor had suddenly darkened. "Does that surprise you?" He returned his attention to his report. "She has political power and a great set of legs."
"Leave her legs out of your thoughts, Barton."
"Why should he?" Wufei challenged. "Just because you've recently decided they're worth a second look?"
Une held up her hands before Heero could react. "Grow up, boys, or get the hell out of my organization." She stood. "Yuy, you go over her schedule with her once more." She hesitated as though she wanted to say more.
"What?" Heero prompted, still glaring at Trowa who didn't appear to notice or care.
"Dr. Po is worried about something. She's calling the President in for blood tests today." Une moved to the door. "This isn't a good time to start bickering like children."
A moment of silence passed after their commanding officer left. Finally, Trowa spoke. "You should be with her."
"Relena can make it through a few tests without me."
He closed the file folder and set it aside. "Where exactly did you spend last night, Heero?"
"Go to hell."
Wufei shook his head. "Unnecessary question, Barton. There's lipstick on his neck." Heero's hand shot to his throat. "Other side."
"Where I sleep is none of your damn concern."
Trowa nodded. "Probably not."
"I disagree," Wufei injected. "You're too close to the center of our mission. Your judgment is blurred, and it will inevitably affect important decisions you might be called upon to make."
"You don't think that by falling for his ward, the guardian's protection isn't swayed, but intensified?"
"Falling? Who said I was falling?" Heero scowled.
"I think that there's a necessary wall between us and the people we work for. And you can't fuck around that wall."
"As ever, Chang, you are the soul of tact."
Heero started for the door. "I'm sick of listening to the two of you discuss my life as if it was yours to run."
"Just why are you sleeping with her, anyway?" Wufei called out. "You're not the type to lead a woman on. And it's not like you want to spend the rest of your life as Mr. Relena Peacecraft."
"You're right. I don't." With his hand on the door, Heero snorted softly. "That's a role for Quatre, not me."
It was Trowa's voice this time that grew cold. "Quatre has a thing for the President?"
Heero ignored his question. "I don't see much of a life for myself. Maybe I just want to spend whatever's left of it with someone who loves me." He pulled the door open. "Repeat that to Maxwell, and I will bury you where no one will ever find you."
****
Quatre had taken up temporary residence at the most expensive hotel in the capital city. It took Trowa approximately five seconds to locate him, and only thirty minutes to arrive at his door, having absolutely no idea what had driven him there.
He rested his forehead on the brocade-covered wall. He should have never taken Heero's wartime advice about following emotions to heart. At least, if he was going to at all, he should have done it consistently. If he had, he might not be standing in this decadent hallway, working up the courage to talk the man who'd had the greatest influence on his life thus far.
The man he'd crushed with one, emotionless act.
Trowa could still remember what it felt like to wake up next to Quatre's warm body even though he'd only done it once. It was like every demon that plagued him had been laid to rest in that moment, and all he'd felt was pure contentment. He'd loved and been loved by an angel in the night.
Quatre had whispered that word repeatedly. Love. He'd wanted to believe that it was just the thoughtless things people say when pleasure wipes everything else away. He hadn't wanted to acknowledge the fact that he'd felt it, too. Felt it, but hadn't said it.
Maybe that had made it easier to get dressed and leave before Quatre even woke up.
A maid passed by with her cleaning cart, shaking Trowa back into the present. He swallowed, gathered his courage, and knocked on the heavy oak door.
Minutes passed. Trowa stood still, waiting. Just when he was about to give up, the door opened. Quatre held it open with his foot and crossed his arms over his blue sweater. The sleeves were too big, making him look painfully young.
"I was debating whether or not I was ready to talk to you," he explained, his voice slightly hoarse.
Trowa nodded. "Can I come in?"
The room was ornately furnished, much like the dozen mansions Quatre called home. The bed hadn't been made up yet; the sheets were rumpled, the pillows cast aside. Quatre never used them. He remembered Quatre's comment that night about how strange it was to put his head on something to sleep, and even stranger that it was someone's chest.
The last time he'd been alone in a room with a bed with the blonde man, they hadn't been able to stop themselves from tumbling into it.
"It's all right," Quatre said, as though he could read Trowa's very thoughts. "I have no plans to 'jump' you. I respect your choices."
"About that so-called choice…"
"You don't have to explain, you know. You didn't then, and you don't now." Quatre moved across the room towards the tiny bar. "Do you want something to drink?"
"It's early."
He shrugged. "It's late on L4." After fixing himself his usual, a gin and tonic easy on the gin, Quatre took a fortifying sip. "What brings you here?"
"We need to talk."
"About?"
"Us."
Quatre smiled around the rim of his glass. "There is no 'us,' Trowa."
He took a few steps closer to the bar. "There was."
"Once." Sea-green eyes flashed, uncharacteristically. "No more."
"Quatre, you don't understand what…"
"I understand perfectly. I read the note." He set down his glass. "How did it go? Forgive me if I misquote you; it's been a few years." Quatre paused before beginning. "'I made a mistake. This isn't what I want. I'm going back to Catherine. Find someone else.' Did I leave anything out?"
"No." Trowa glanced down at the carpet. "That was pretty much it."
Watching him, Quatre shook his head. "It took me a very long time to come to terms with that note, Trowa. But I did. I learned, with the help of understanding friends, that I couldn't expect you to be something you're not."
"Something I'm not."
"Gay," Quatre clarified. "One time, a homosexual does not make."
"Does that go for you, too?" Trowa wondered out loud. "Or are you sniffing around the President purely to antagonize Heero?"
Quatre looked away. "Relena is my friend. But if I weren't what I am, I'd have asked her to marry me a long time ago." A moment passed. "Look, Trowa, I hold no grudges. I'm not even holding on to any lingering feelings. And I've never told anyone about that night." He put his finger against his lips. "Your secret is safe. You can go now."
"Is that what you want? For me to go?"
"I never really got a choice in the matter until now, did I?"
Something snapped inside Trowa's chest. Maybe it was the bitterness in a man who should never feel its sting, or the shadow of hurt in the eyes that had once looked up at him with passion and love. He didn't know. But he found himself lashing out. "What was I supposed to do?! Keep on dirtying you with my sins?"
"That dirty hands routine is already licensed by Heero."
"You have no idea…" Trowa's head swayed back and forth. "No idea how hard it was to leave that morning when all I wanted was to…touch you…just once…just once more."
Quatre closed his eyes. "And you have no idea how much I wish I could believe that."
"I wasn't running back to Catherine, Quatre." Trowa reached the bar. "Even though that's where I went."
"And she really didn't have any problem with your experimentations?"
Reaching out, Trowa touched Quatre's chin, f orcing his eyes open. "You know that's not what I was doing that night."
"Then what did happen that night? Besides really great sex."
His long fingers caressed the perfect line of Quatre's clean-shaven jaw. "You woke up things inside of me…that I'd never let myself acknowledge. And that's what I ran away from. Not you."
Quatre pulled away abruptly. "You'd better go. With the alcohol and all, I'm not sure I can keep that promise not to jump you."
"I'm not going anywhere."
"Yes, you are." The shorter man pointed to the door. "Go. Give me some time to think."
With much hesitation, Trowa walked back to the door. "I will be back."
Quatre picked up his glass, but didn't drink. "You have things to think about, too, Trowa. Don't do this just because you feel guilty about leaving me. I've gotten along fine without you."
"Guilt," Trowa began as he opened the door. "Hasn't given me a hard-on every day for four years."
****
"Should I be nervous about this?" Relena asked as Sally fixed a rubber tourniquet around the bend of her elbow.
"I thought needles didn't bother you."
"Not the needle. Whatever tests you're performing. The urine sample and now the blood…what else could possibly be wrong with me?" She glanced away when the needle pierced her skin. Even though it didn't bother her, she still didn't like seeing it.
Sally extracted the needle after drawing a sufficient amount of blood. "Hopefully, nothing. I just want to check something out." She bandaged Relena's arm and smiled at her. "Stay here. I'm going to go down to the lab. We should have the results in just a few minutes."
Relena sighed and bent her arm back and forth, testing it. Sally was good; she hardly felt any pain.
The request to come down to the Med Bay had worried her, which was why she hadn't wasted any time getting there. She'd driven herself. Contrary to popular belief, she could do something as simple as operate a vehicle. All right, there hadn't been a bodyguard with her, but it wasn't like anyone could get around the house's security to do anything to her car, like plant a bomb or mess with the brakes. And even if they could have, what good would a bodyguard have done in that situation? She sighed.
"Heero's going to kill me when he finds out."
"Finds out what?"
She jumped at least three inches on the examination table. "Oh my god, Heero! That's it! I'm putting a cow bell on you!!"
He came all the way into the room. "What's going on, Relena? Has Sally told you anything?"
"Nothing. She just took some blood." His expression was worried, and her heart melted a little more. "I'm sure she's just being thorough. I feel fine." A blush tinted her cheeks. "After last night, better than fine."
Heero approached the table, resting his hands on her knees. Face to face, he murmured, "Good."
"Your note…" In her lap, Relena's hands shook. "I won't, Heero. I couldn't ever give up on…"
He stopped her with a soul-searing kiss. As they kissed, his hands skimmed up the length of her smooth thighs underneath her skirt. "I know," he finally said.
Relena leaned forward and laid her cheek on his shoulder. Her legs parted naturally and Heero pulled her closer to his chest. "Can we always be just like this?"
He replied by wrapping his arms around her slender body. Her hair smelled sweetly floral; he inhaled deeply. "Right now, Relena. That's the only thing anyone can promise."
Sally found them still embracing when she reentered the room twenty minutes later. Tapping the edge of her clipboard against the stainless steel counter, she caught their attention. "Results are back."
Heero pulled away, but kept Relena close. "For what kind of test?"
The doctor folded her arms around the thin, wooden board. "Relena, when was your last period, again?"
"Um…the beginning of last month. Why do you…" She stopped cold. "No."
"Yes," Sally corrected her.
Heero wasn't a slow man, but he was slow to catch on. "Yes, what?"
"Yes, Relena is pregnant." Sally winked at him. "Yes, you're going to be a father."
The clock on the wall ticked off several minutes before Relena's soft voice broke the silence. "No. He won't be."
****
A baby.
Heero stared at a place just over Sally's shoulder, but his eyes saw nothing. A baby meant he would be a father. A father. Of all things.
He closed his eyes. He knew there had to be a hundred practical thoughts he should be having, but all he could think about was a little person with Relena's eyes and his hair, beaming up at him with its mother's smile.
It should have terrified him. What really scared him was that it didn't.
But then, Relena spoke.
"No. He won't be."
Heero's eyes opened and he looked back at her. "Relena?"
She couldn't stop her tears under the weight of his stare. "Oh god…please don't hate me, Heero."
Visibly stunned, Sally backed up a few steps. "I should give you two a moment…"
"No, wait." Relena held out her hand. "Dr. Po…Sally, you have to understand. All my life I've wanted to be a mother." She smiled weakly. "A mother to Heero's children." His Adam's apple visibly bobbed as he swallowed. "But this isn't…it's not the right…" She stopped. "Do you see?"
Sally set aside her clipboard. "Even if I didn't, it wouldn't be my choice to make. I'll be just down the hall in case you need me."
Once she was gone, Heero stepped away from the exam table upon which Relena still sat. "I don't see. So explain it."
Relena pushed the tears off her cheeks although they were still coming at a steady pace. "Let's say I keep the baby. What happens if four or five months from now, whoever poisoned me resurfaces and makes a demand?"
"I track them down."
"Stop thinking like a soldier and start thinking like a father," she snapped. "You know I wouldn't give in to terrorist demands if only my own life was at stake." Relena touched her belly. "But if it wasn't only my life in danger…"
Heero walked to the other side of the room, keeping his back to her. "I see now." He paused. "We should have been more careful."
She nodded, but he couldn't see it. "I can't give them this kind of leverage over me. No matter…" Her steady tone cracked. "No matter how much I want…" Sobs overtook her words.
He turned back around abruptly. She was bent over at the waist, clutching her stomach. Her hair cascaded all around her face. He stepped forward, his first instinct to go to her. To comfort her. But something held him back.
"Relena. Don't cry." Heero reached for a tissue box on the counter and drew out a few sheets for her. "If this is your decision, it's the right one."
She peered at him from behind her long bangs as she reached for them. "It's not only my decision, Heero. Half of it is yours."
The clear picture he had in his mind of their baby faded and was replaced with cold reality. He wasn't a family man. Obviously some higher power was trying to make that as clear as possible. "I think…" He looked up at the harsh overhead light. "I think it's probably the best solution. Neither of us are in a position to bring a child into the world, are we?"
Her reply was whisper soft. "I suppose not."
"I'll be with you. When you have it done."
Relena shook her head. "That won't be necessary. It probably won't be for a week or two, anyway." She blotted away the last of her tears with the tissues and slipped off the exam table. "Keeping it from the press won't be too hard; Sally did the test herself and she'd never tell anyone. I'll ask her to perform the procedure, too."
"Sounds…fine."
They stared at each other for a long moment. "Are you going to tell your brother?" he finally asked.
"Do you have a death wish?"
Heero snorted. "I can handle Zechs."
"Well, it won't be necessary. I may tell Miss Noin, but only because I'll need her help afterwards while I'm recovering."
"I told you I'd…"
Relena cut him off. "And I told you that it's not necessary."
"Relena, goddamnit! I'm just trying to…help." He glanced away. Some help he'd been. He had a case of condoms in the apartment he hadn't seen in weeks, yet he'd never thought about using one in all the times they'd come together. He'd only thought of the thundering desire, the overwhelming urge to be inside her; he hadn't thought about what he could do to her.
"Heero." He felt her cool fingers against his cheek. "Thank you. But I'm going to be fine. Women do this every day."
**But you're not just any woman.**
Heero nodded. "Of course." He jerked away from her. "I'll go get the car."
She called out to him, but he was already halfway out the door. Only a second after he slammed it shut, it opened again. Sally glanced back over her shoulder. "Is everything all right?"
"He's just…upset."
The doctor looked back at her patient. "This is huge, life-altering news, Relena. Any decision you and Heero make shouldn't be made quickly. Take your time, consider all your options and…"
"Time is something we don't have a lot of," Relena said, folding her arms. "In fact, while I'm here, I need to schedule another appointment with you."
"For your first pre-natal check-up?" Sally asked, hopefully.
"No." Relena's lower lip trembled. "Not quite."
****
To Be Continued