Disclaimer: Characters don't belong to me. Simple as that.
Author's Notes: Another update...I'm doing good! Thanks so much for the kind reviews. I hope you keep enjoying the story;)
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Be My Downfall
by Kristen Elizabeth
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Relena had two appointments that day. A breakfast meeting at eight a.m. with Quatre to discuss the upcoming gubernatorial elections on his colony, and an abortion at eleven a.m. with Dr. Po. She stared at her day planner as she dried her hair. Wouldn't it be funny, she thought, to write in that second appointment as though it really was no big deal? And wouldn't it be funnier still to see how someone might react to it, if they were to read over the President's daily schedule?
All right, not that funny, she decided.
Breakfast was already laid out in the appropriately titled breakfast room, but Quatre hadn't arrived yet. Relena took a seat at the elegant table and tried not to breathe in the rich scents of fresh Belgian waffles and links of spiced sausage. Even if she had been allowed to eat before the procedure, her stomach was less than stable; she poured herself some tea and prayed that it would stay down.
"In a few days," Relena told herself. "You can eat like a pig."
The sliding doors opened and a maid appeared. "Mr. Quatre Winner to see you, ma'am."
She nodded to the girl and waited until her friend entered the room. "Quatre." She stood up and accepted his warm embrace. "Good morning."
"It is now," he laughed easily.
"Did it start off bad?" She gestured for him to sit down and once he had, reached for the blue and white china pot. "Tea?"
"Please." He paused for a moment as she poured. "Besides getting to spend time with you, I haven't enjoyed this trip very much. I'll be glad to be home tonight."
Relena frowned. "You're leaving so soon?"
"I've been away too long. And like I said, besides you, there isn't much keeping me here. Apparently." Quatre added sugar and cream to his tea. "Shall we get business out of the way?"
Quatre's appetite wasn't in question; they discussed the elections as he worked his way through a plate of waffles and sausage and a bowl of fresh fruit. Relena listened and commented when her opinion was warranted, but mostly, she took tiny sips of her tea, holding onto the delicate cup as though she might drop it at any moment.
"My vote lies with Governor Gnau," Quatre finished up, setting aside his napkin when his meal was done. "I know he appreciates your endorsement, as well."
"Simply put, he's doing a wonderful job and shouldn't be voted out of…" Her stomach twisted and Relena put a hand to her mouth. "I'm sorry, " she said once the nausea had passed. "Just a little…"
"Morning sickness?" When her face instantly paled, Quatre reached out and put his hand on hers. "I have too many nieces and nephews to count. I could be wrong, but I usually know the signs." He hesitated. "Does Heero know?"
Relena set aside her cup. "Oh…Heero knows. It's the caring part that he just can't get down."
Quatre's expression grew dark. "He doesn't want the baby?"
She shook her head, her lips pressed together tightly. "He doesn't want it…and I can't have it." Abruptly, she stood. "We've decided that it's best all around if we just…don't."
"Don't have it?"
The look she gave him nearly broke his heart; her lower lip trembled uncontrollably. "Are you judging me?"
"Never." Quatre stood up and reached for her hand again. "If you need a friend with you…"
"Thanks. But I have someone. Not Heero," she added. "He offered, but…he can barely look at me anymore. I can't take that…not there. He'd show up anyways though, just to be obstinate, so I…I told him the appointment was at three, not eleven." Relena chuckled when tears welled up anew. "I thought I cried all of these out."
Quatre put his arms around her, and she gladly leaned against his shoulder once more time. "I know the feeling."
****
There was only one downside to having a kid in Duo's mind, and it wasn't even the never-ending parade of dirty diapers. It was the period of abstinence after the birth that was killing him. He'd never dream of hurting Hilde, but he couldn't remember any other time in their entire relationship when they'd gone so long as two weeks without having sex. He was a man quite used to taking comfort in his wife's body in the morning, and now, as he woke up in the huge bed the Presidential guest room boasted, all he wanted was to roll over and rouse her for some fun.
But the sudden onslaught of whimpering from the bassinet a few feet away killed that momentary fantasy. Before Jeremiah could wake his mother, Duo got out of bed and padded over to him.
"What's up, buddy?" He picked the baby up and set him against his bare shoulder. "Hungry? Wet?" His son stopped fussing and curled his tiny fingers around a fistful of Duo's loose hair. "Faker. You've really got my number, kid."
He glanced at the clock. It was only nine, but his stomach was reminding him that dinner had been ages ago. Duo crooked his neck to look down at the baby. Jeremiah was asleep again, content in his father's arms. He didn't want to do it, but Duo gently laid his son back down in the crib after pressing a soft kiss onto his forehead.
"Give your mom a few minutes before you get hungry," he asked the baby. Duo glanced back at the bed where Hilde slept peacefully, her hair shocking black against the white sheets. "She needs her rest."
His stomach still growling, Duo pulled on a shirt and left the room in search of breakfast. He caught a whiff of the scent of sausage and like a man possessed, followed it all the way down the grand staircase.
A set of sliding, wood paneled doors were open just enough for him to catch the sound of voices as the smell grew stronger. He stopped in front of them, prepared to open them up, when the words that were being spoken caught up with him.
"Am I supposed to be relieved that it's so easy to take care of…because I'm not," Relena was asking.
A man replied; it took Duo a minute to recognize the voice of his wartime friend, Quatre Winner. "There is no right or wrong feeling in this situation, I don't think. But, Relena…have you really thought this through? Is this truly the course of action that you feel is best for everyone concerned, but most especially for yourself?"
Seconds passed. With only a stab of guilt over eavesdropping, Duo crept closer to the door. "Even if there wasn't a poison in my body…even if I didn't have to worry about having this baby used against me…even if I didn't have my position and reputation to consider…I still couldn't bring a child into the world knowing that its father couldn't ever love it." Relena sniffed delicately. "If you see Duo before you go, you'll understand. The way he looks at his son…that's how I'd want Heero to look at our baby. But I don't think he ever could. And I can't…" She stopped; he could hear her crying. "He's been clear from the beginning that he can't give me his heart. It's unfair of me to still want it."
"No. It's not. Because you deserve nothing less." Quatre's tone was comforting, but Duo picked up on an underline of anger. And he had little doubt who it was directed towards, because all of a sudden, he too had an overwhelming urge, more so than usual, to punch Heero Yuy in the stomach.
"I want this baby so much, Quatre." Her sobs sounded muffled, as though she were crying into a napkin. "I don't want to go in for an abortion at eleven like I was going to get my nails done or something. But there really isn't any other choice."
Duo backed away from the door. Thinking fast, he darted back up the stairs and burst into the guest room just as Hilde was preparing to feed Jeremiah. She was sitting in an armchair, looking every inch the mother of the universe, but Duo was so preoccupied that he didn't even notice her bare breasts.
"Have you been scavenging for food?" she teased him. Registering his distraught look, her voice softened. "Duo…what's wrong?"
"Are you okay here, babe?" He dove for their suitcases and started assembling an outfit. "I gotta run out and take care of something real quick."
Hilde frowned, still worried. "We're fine. But Duo…" He was already pulling on his jeans. She sighed to herself. There was no stopping him when he got an idea into his head. Whatever it was, he wouldn't be able to talk about it until he'd taken care of it. "I'll love you forever if you bring me back something chocolate."
He braided his hair with sloppy, distracted motions. "You've got it." After shoving his feet into a pair of sneakers, Duo approached her for a long kiss. "Love you both."
After he was gone, she looked down at little Jeremiah as he fed. "What am I going to do if you get your daddy's crazy gene?"
****
Heero knew what day it was even before he woke up. He'd been keeping a mental calendar in his head, counting down the days until his brief stint as a father would be over. It wasn't in his nature to lay in bed and dwell over things, so he got up with the sun, made coffee, checked his messages and just generally went about his usual routine.
Wufei and Trowa both had left communicator messages updating him on the latest news from the investigation. The secretary still hadn't been found, and according to the latest lab tests, there was still no clue as to how the poison had been administered. Even if they found Relena's secretary, all they had on the woman was a connection to someone Relena had dated, nothing more. It wasn't exactly promising as far as he was concerned.
He had piles of paperwork backed up for several months. It wasn't like him to get this behind, but then he hadn't done much that was in character since Relena had come back into his life.
All roads led back to Relena. Why couldn't he get her out of his head?
Hours slipped by without notice and had there not been a very insistent pounding on his door, he might have worked straight through the day. He resented the intruder, whoever it was. He would have liked to have lost the entire day.
As it was, when he reluctantly answered his door, he had to also answer to a very pissed-off Duo Maxwell.
"Just what the fuck is your problem, Yuy?"
"Good morning, Maxwell. Coffee?" He turned and walked back into his apartment without inviting the other man in.
Duo let himself inside and closed the door. "I don't want any coffee. It's past ten o'clock. It took me an hour's worth of hacking to even find your address. Are you paranoid, or is being invisible just a Preventer perk?"
"I take it you have a reason for going to the trouble, so why don't you just come out with it." Heero rubbed his temple. "I have a lot of work to get through today."
"You're just going to let her do it, aren't you?" Heero's head shot up, but Duo continued, "You're gonna sit here, pecking away at your computer while she's in some hospital getting rid of the kid you don't want her to have."
"You have no idea what you're talking about," Heero warned him in a low, dangerous voice.
Duo shook his head. "I heard her crying, Yuy. Have you ever heard her cry over something you've done to her? It's enough to break a normal human being's heart."
"Any decision Relena makes is hers to make. Not mine. And it's definitely none of your business. So, just go back to your wife and your kid and quit thinking that you know what's best for my life." Heero situated himself at his desk again, making a great pretense of returning to work.
But Duo wasn't so easily dismissed. He slammed his palm directly down onto Heero's papers. "You've done some shitty, shitty things, Heero. But this is just disgusting. It's not enough that you'd get her pregnant without caring about her reputation or her feelings, but that you'd turn your back on her when she needs your support, too? Jesus, Heero…" He ran his hands through his bangs. "Don't you care about anything?! If you can't care about Relena and you can't care about your own child, what the fuck will you care about?!?"
"I don't remember asking for your thoughts on anything, Maxwell." Heero jumped to his feet and grabbed the collar of Duo's shirt. "If you had any clue…" His words were hissed through clenched teeth, but it was the smattering of tears at the corners of his dark blue eyes that caught Duo off guard. "If you had any clue what this is…how I'm…" He released Duo, practically pushing him away and turned around to compose himself.
Duo blinked. "You don't want her to have the abortion, do you?"
Heero straightened his back. "It's what's best."
"Fuck what's best. You want the baby."
"It doesn't matter what I want. Relena's made her choice."
"Relena's made the choice she thinks you want her to make," Duo corrected him. "Have you sat down and told her what you're thinking?" He paused. "Of course not. That would border on an emotional encounter."
Heero looked back at him. "Emotions get in the way of practicality. Neither Relena nor I can afford to be slaves to the reproductive drive."
Duo began to laugh. "I'll have to remember that one for the next time Hilde's not in the mood. Reproductive drive." He shook his head, still smiling. "Only you, Yuy. Only you could sum up something as great as having a baby in such a cold way. Just say it. You want her to have the baby. You want to be a father."
"Quit trying to put words in my mouth. Just because you had a kid doesn't mean the rest of the world is obligated to go down the same path."
"Say it."
"Maxwell, you've got five seconds to…"
"Say it!!! Goddamnit, Heero!! Why can't you just fucking admit that you…"
"I want the baby." He said it so calmly, so quietly that Duo barely stopped his rant in time. Heero looked down at his hands; one of them was covered in flesh-colored bandages. "Is that what you wanted me to say?"
Duo swallowed. "Yeah."
"All right then. Now will you go?"
"No." Licking his lips, Duo studied his sometimes friend. "If you let her go through with it, you'll regret it for the rest of your life. You know that, don't you?" Heero said nothing. "Do you care?"
"What am I supposed to do? Show up at the hospital with flowers and a wedding ring, making all those promises that everyone knows I can't keep?"
"Well…" The braided man grinned. "It's a start." He paused. "And who says you can't keep them?"
Heero shook his head. "Maybe just me." He looked Duo straight in the eye. "Why the fuck did she go and fall in love with me?"
"Probably for the same reasons you went and fell in love with her." Duo crossed his arms. "Are you going to go stop her from making the biggest mistake of both your lives?"
He sighed and sat back into his chair. "I have until three to decide."
Duo's brow pulled into a deep frown. "Um…I thought I heard her say she was having it at eleven this morning."
"What?" Heero snapped to attention. "Are you certain? Because she told me…" He stopped. "She lied…in case I came to try to hold her hand. She's so damn independent…" Heero shot out of his chair and began pacing. "It's nearly eleven now…I'll never make it in time."
"Think again, Yuy." Duo held up the keys to his rented car. "It's an old man's family sedan, but you're in the presence of the greatest pilot who ever operated a Gundam. And I'm willing to get you to the hospital on time, if I know for sure you're going to do the right thing."
Heero hesitated, a scowl on his face. He had never taken kindly to ultimatums. "When are you going to quit trying to navigate my life, Maxwell?"
"When you start learning how to run it better," he tossed back, flippant.
Looking back down at his watch, Heero made up his mind in the time it took for the second counter to change. "Let's go."
****
"All right. I'm going to give you a local anesthetic to numb the area now. The nitrous oxide should be relaxing you." Sally guided Relena's feet into the stirrups. "Madam President? Relena? Can you hear me?"
"I can hear you." Her words were dreamy thanks to the chemicals she was breathing through a rubber nose piece. "And yeah…I'm relaxing."
Sally hesitated with the hypodermic in her hand. "This is it. I can stop right now. All you have to do is say the word."
There was a pause before Relena replied, "You know…when I was really little, I used to play house and pretend that I was going to have a baby. I'd put a pillow underneath my dress…and I'd sing to it…" She let the memory trail off. "Please just do it, Dr. Po."
Sally glanced at her nurse. "This will hurt, just to warn you."
Relena's eyes were wet by the time Sally finished administering the local. She looked at the IV in her wrist, another source of minor pain. Poked and prodded…would there ever be a time again when she wouldn't be poked and prodded?
"We'll give that a few minutes to take complete effect before we start," Sally murmured. She let out a little sigh. What did one say to the President during her abortion? "Are you sure you don't want Noin to come in to be with you?"
"It's all right," Relena replied, shaking her head against the stiff pillow. "She shouldn't have to see this…she's pregnant, did you know? She and Millardo…want their baby so much…" Relena closed her eyes. "I'm so happy for them."
Sally bit her lip. "I know you are." Taking a deep breath, she nodded curtly. "Just relax and breathe. We're going to get…"
She was cut off by commotion outside, raised voices and a thump on the heavy door. Relena opened her eyes. "What's going…on out there?"
"I don't know." Sally pulled off her rubber gloves. "Keep monitoring her," she instructed the nurse. "I'll be right back."
Just as Sally reached the door, it flew open. One of Relena's bodyguards fell into the room, having been used as a human battering ram by the man who now stood in the doorway. Sally blinked. "Heero?"
The guard on the floor tried to pick himself up. "I'm sorry, Doctor…Madam President. I tried to stop him."
A sheet was strategically draped over her lower body, but Relena was feeling too woozy to be embarrassed. "I don't…understand. What's going on?" she whispered.
Heero pushed the inept guard out of the room and looked straight at Sally. "Have you done it yet?"
She looked straight back at him. "You're not too late."
Relena lifted her head off the pillow with much effort. "Heero…I told you…not to come. You never…listen to me."
"We never really listen to each other." Moving past Sally and her nurse, he approached her side. "This isn't what we want, Relena. We don't want this abortion."
"We?" She licked her dry lips.
"We," he repeated.
"But…we have to do it." Relena's eyelids drooped a bit; Heero gingerly lifted the rubber tube away from her nose. "For all the…reasons. The poison…the people." She waved her hand around. "And you don't love me."
Sally cleared her throat and gestured to her nurse. "Excuse us." The couple barely noticed as the two women left them alone.
"I don't give a shit about reason." Heero smoothed her hair away from her forehead. "I don't want you to do it. I want…"
He stopped short, but she understood. Still, the ache in her heart didn't let up. "I can't, Heero. I can't…carry this baby…knowing that some madman…could take it away…without warning." She turned her head. "Please…I can't."
"We'll just leave," Heero told her, surprised at the vehemence with which he spoke. A plan formed in the back of his mind as he spoke. "We'll disappear. We'll live somewhere in the woods or something until the baby comes. Wufei and Trowa will continue the investigation, and we'll come back as soon as they find the bastards. Relena…please."
She looked back at him. "This isn't…you, Heero. You don't…you've never cared…before."
"This is very much me," he corrected her. He shook his head. "See what you've done to me?"
Relena squinted at him. He was slightly blurred, but he was still Heero. Standing there, telling her everything she needed to hear. "I don't know…what to do."
"Let me get you out of here before this goes any further. I'll take you somewhere no one can find us, not even your brother." Heero knelt down so his face was level with hers. "I was ready to give up everything today, but I would have spent the rest of my life regretting it. This is all…new and maybe it's all too fast. Part of me can't even believe the things that are coming out of my mouth…"
She injected a quiet, "It's the most I've ever heard you say."
"But it feels right, Relena. For the first time in my life…I'm doing what *I* want to do. And it feels right." He ran his tongue over his lips. "What do you say?"
Although she was still numb and woozy, and now shell-shocked by his confessions, Relena had always known what her answer would be if he ever found the questions.
"All right." She blinked and let her tears go with a smile. "I'll disappear with you…Heero."
****
To Be Continued
Author's Notes: Another update...I'm doing good! Thanks so much for the kind reviews. I hope you keep enjoying the story;)
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Be My Downfall
by Kristen Elizabeth
****
Relena had two appointments that day. A breakfast meeting at eight a.m. with Quatre to discuss the upcoming gubernatorial elections on his colony, and an abortion at eleven a.m. with Dr. Po. She stared at her day planner as she dried her hair. Wouldn't it be funny, she thought, to write in that second appointment as though it really was no big deal? And wouldn't it be funnier still to see how someone might react to it, if they were to read over the President's daily schedule?
All right, not that funny, she decided.
Breakfast was already laid out in the appropriately titled breakfast room, but Quatre hadn't arrived yet. Relena took a seat at the elegant table and tried not to breathe in the rich scents of fresh Belgian waffles and links of spiced sausage. Even if she had been allowed to eat before the procedure, her stomach was less than stable; she poured herself some tea and prayed that it would stay down.
"In a few days," Relena told herself. "You can eat like a pig."
The sliding doors opened and a maid appeared. "Mr. Quatre Winner to see you, ma'am."
She nodded to the girl and waited until her friend entered the room. "Quatre." She stood up and accepted his warm embrace. "Good morning."
"It is now," he laughed easily.
"Did it start off bad?" She gestured for him to sit down and once he had, reached for the blue and white china pot. "Tea?"
"Please." He paused for a moment as she poured. "Besides getting to spend time with you, I haven't enjoyed this trip very much. I'll be glad to be home tonight."
Relena frowned. "You're leaving so soon?"
"I've been away too long. And like I said, besides you, there isn't much keeping me here. Apparently." Quatre added sugar and cream to his tea. "Shall we get business out of the way?"
Quatre's appetite wasn't in question; they discussed the elections as he worked his way through a plate of waffles and sausage and a bowl of fresh fruit. Relena listened and commented when her opinion was warranted, but mostly, she took tiny sips of her tea, holding onto the delicate cup as though she might drop it at any moment.
"My vote lies with Governor Gnau," Quatre finished up, setting aside his napkin when his meal was done. "I know he appreciates your endorsement, as well."
"Simply put, he's doing a wonderful job and shouldn't be voted out of…" Her stomach twisted and Relena put a hand to her mouth. "I'm sorry, " she said once the nausea had passed. "Just a little…"
"Morning sickness?" When her face instantly paled, Quatre reached out and put his hand on hers. "I have too many nieces and nephews to count. I could be wrong, but I usually know the signs." He hesitated. "Does Heero know?"
Relena set aside her cup. "Oh…Heero knows. It's the caring part that he just can't get down."
Quatre's expression grew dark. "He doesn't want the baby?"
She shook her head, her lips pressed together tightly. "He doesn't want it…and I can't have it." Abruptly, she stood. "We've decided that it's best all around if we just…don't."
"Don't have it?"
The look she gave him nearly broke his heart; her lower lip trembled uncontrollably. "Are you judging me?"
"Never." Quatre stood up and reached for her hand again. "If you need a friend with you…"
"Thanks. But I have someone. Not Heero," she added. "He offered, but…he can barely look at me anymore. I can't take that…not there. He'd show up anyways though, just to be obstinate, so I…I told him the appointment was at three, not eleven." Relena chuckled when tears welled up anew. "I thought I cried all of these out."
Quatre put his arms around her, and she gladly leaned against his shoulder once more time. "I know the feeling."
****
There was only one downside to having a kid in Duo's mind, and it wasn't even the never-ending parade of dirty diapers. It was the period of abstinence after the birth that was killing him. He'd never dream of hurting Hilde, but he couldn't remember any other time in their entire relationship when they'd gone so long as two weeks without having sex. He was a man quite used to taking comfort in his wife's body in the morning, and now, as he woke up in the huge bed the Presidential guest room boasted, all he wanted was to roll over and rouse her for some fun.
But the sudden onslaught of whimpering from the bassinet a few feet away killed that momentary fantasy. Before Jeremiah could wake his mother, Duo got out of bed and padded over to him.
"What's up, buddy?" He picked the baby up and set him against his bare shoulder. "Hungry? Wet?" His son stopped fussing and curled his tiny fingers around a fistful of Duo's loose hair. "Faker. You've really got my number, kid."
He glanced at the clock. It was only nine, but his stomach was reminding him that dinner had been ages ago. Duo crooked his neck to look down at the baby. Jeremiah was asleep again, content in his father's arms. He didn't want to do it, but Duo gently laid his son back down in the crib after pressing a soft kiss onto his forehead.
"Give your mom a few minutes before you get hungry," he asked the baby. Duo glanced back at the bed where Hilde slept peacefully, her hair shocking black against the white sheets. "She needs her rest."
His stomach still growling, Duo pulled on a shirt and left the room in search of breakfast. He caught a whiff of the scent of sausage and like a man possessed, followed it all the way down the grand staircase.
A set of sliding, wood paneled doors were open just enough for him to catch the sound of voices as the smell grew stronger. He stopped in front of them, prepared to open them up, when the words that were being spoken caught up with him.
"Am I supposed to be relieved that it's so easy to take care of…because I'm not," Relena was asking.
A man replied; it took Duo a minute to recognize the voice of his wartime friend, Quatre Winner. "There is no right or wrong feeling in this situation, I don't think. But, Relena…have you really thought this through? Is this truly the course of action that you feel is best for everyone concerned, but most especially for yourself?"
Seconds passed. With only a stab of guilt over eavesdropping, Duo crept closer to the door. "Even if there wasn't a poison in my body…even if I didn't have to worry about having this baby used against me…even if I didn't have my position and reputation to consider…I still couldn't bring a child into the world knowing that its father couldn't ever love it." Relena sniffed delicately. "If you see Duo before you go, you'll understand. The way he looks at his son…that's how I'd want Heero to look at our baby. But I don't think he ever could. And I can't…" She stopped; he could hear her crying. "He's been clear from the beginning that he can't give me his heart. It's unfair of me to still want it."
"No. It's not. Because you deserve nothing less." Quatre's tone was comforting, but Duo picked up on an underline of anger. And he had little doubt who it was directed towards, because all of a sudden, he too had an overwhelming urge, more so than usual, to punch Heero Yuy in the stomach.
"I want this baby so much, Quatre." Her sobs sounded muffled, as though she were crying into a napkin. "I don't want to go in for an abortion at eleven like I was going to get my nails done or something. But there really isn't any other choice."
Duo backed away from the door. Thinking fast, he darted back up the stairs and burst into the guest room just as Hilde was preparing to feed Jeremiah. She was sitting in an armchair, looking every inch the mother of the universe, but Duo was so preoccupied that he didn't even notice her bare breasts.
"Have you been scavenging for food?" she teased him. Registering his distraught look, her voice softened. "Duo…what's wrong?"
"Are you okay here, babe?" He dove for their suitcases and started assembling an outfit. "I gotta run out and take care of something real quick."
Hilde frowned, still worried. "We're fine. But Duo…" He was already pulling on his jeans. She sighed to herself. There was no stopping him when he got an idea into his head. Whatever it was, he wouldn't be able to talk about it until he'd taken care of it. "I'll love you forever if you bring me back something chocolate."
He braided his hair with sloppy, distracted motions. "You've got it." After shoving his feet into a pair of sneakers, Duo approached her for a long kiss. "Love you both."
After he was gone, she looked down at little Jeremiah as he fed. "What am I going to do if you get your daddy's crazy gene?"
****
Heero knew what day it was even before he woke up. He'd been keeping a mental calendar in his head, counting down the days until his brief stint as a father would be over. It wasn't in his nature to lay in bed and dwell over things, so he got up with the sun, made coffee, checked his messages and just generally went about his usual routine.
Wufei and Trowa both had left communicator messages updating him on the latest news from the investigation. The secretary still hadn't been found, and according to the latest lab tests, there was still no clue as to how the poison had been administered. Even if they found Relena's secretary, all they had on the woman was a connection to someone Relena had dated, nothing more. It wasn't exactly promising as far as he was concerned.
He had piles of paperwork backed up for several months. It wasn't like him to get this behind, but then he hadn't done much that was in character since Relena had come back into his life.
All roads led back to Relena. Why couldn't he get her out of his head?
Hours slipped by without notice and had there not been a very insistent pounding on his door, he might have worked straight through the day. He resented the intruder, whoever it was. He would have liked to have lost the entire day.
As it was, when he reluctantly answered his door, he had to also answer to a very pissed-off Duo Maxwell.
"Just what the fuck is your problem, Yuy?"
"Good morning, Maxwell. Coffee?" He turned and walked back into his apartment without inviting the other man in.
Duo let himself inside and closed the door. "I don't want any coffee. It's past ten o'clock. It took me an hour's worth of hacking to even find your address. Are you paranoid, or is being invisible just a Preventer perk?"
"I take it you have a reason for going to the trouble, so why don't you just come out with it." Heero rubbed his temple. "I have a lot of work to get through today."
"You're just going to let her do it, aren't you?" Heero's head shot up, but Duo continued, "You're gonna sit here, pecking away at your computer while she's in some hospital getting rid of the kid you don't want her to have."
"You have no idea what you're talking about," Heero warned him in a low, dangerous voice.
Duo shook his head. "I heard her crying, Yuy. Have you ever heard her cry over something you've done to her? It's enough to break a normal human being's heart."
"Any decision Relena makes is hers to make. Not mine. And it's definitely none of your business. So, just go back to your wife and your kid and quit thinking that you know what's best for my life." Heero situated himself at his desk again, making a great pretense of returning to work.
But Duo wasn't so easily dismissed. He slammed his palm directly down onto Heero's papers. "You've done some shitty, shitty things, Heero. But this is just disgusting. It's not enough that you'd get her pregnant without caring about her reputation or her feelings, but that you'd turn your back on her when she needs your support, too? Jesus, Heero…" He ran his hands through his bangs. "Don't you care about anything?! If you can't care about Relena and you can't care about your own child, what the fuck will you care about?!?"
"I don't remember asking for your thoughts on anything, Maxwell." Heero jumped to his feet and grabbed the collar of Duo's shirt. "If you had any clue…" His words were hissed through clenched teeth, but it was the smattering of tears at the corners of his dark blue eyes that caught Duo off guard. "If you had any clue what this is…how I'm…" He released Duo, practically pushing him away and turned around to compose himself.
Duo blinked. "You don't want her to have the abortion, do you?"
Heero straightened his back. "It's what's best."
"Fuck what's best. You want the baby."
"It doesn't matter what I want. Relena's made her choice."
"Relena's made the choice she thinks you want her to make," Duo corrected him. "Have you sat down and told her what you're thinking?" He paused. "Of course not. That would border on an emotional encounter."
Heero looked back at him. "Emotions get in the way of practicality. Neither Relena nor I can afford to be slaves to the reproductive drive."
Duo began to laugh. "I'll have to remember that one for the next time Hilde's not in the mood. Reproductive drive." He shook his head, still smiling. "Only you, Yuy. Only you could sum up something as great as having a baby in such a cold way. Just say it. You want her to have the baby. You want to be a father."
"Quit trying to put words in my mouth. Just because you had a kid doesn't mean the rest of the world is obligated to go down the same path."
"Say it."
"Maxwell, you've got five seconds to…"
"Say it!!! Goddamnit, Heero!! Why can't you just fucking admit that you…"
"I want the baby." He said it so calmly, so quietly that Duo barely stopped his rant in time. Heero looked down at his hands; one of them was covered in flesh-colored bandages. "Is that what you wanted me to say?"
Duo swallowed. "Yeah."
"All right then. Now will you go?"
"No." Licking his lips, Duo studied his sometimes friend. "If you let her go through with it, you'll regret it for the rest of your life. You know that, don't you?" Heero said nothing. "Do you care?"
"What am I supposed to do? Show up at the hospital with flowers and a wedding ring, making all those promises that everyone knows I can't keep?"
"Well…" The braided man grinned. "It's a start." He paused. "And who says you can't keep them?"
Heero shook his head. "Maybe just me." He looked Duo straight in the eye. "Why the fuck did she go and fall in love with me?"
"Probably for the same reasons you went and fell in love with her." Duo crossed his arms. "Are you going to go stop her from making the biggest mistake of both your lives?"
He sighed and sat back into his chair. "I have until three to decide."
Duo's brow pulled into a deep frown. "Um…I thought I heard her say she was having it at eleven this morning."
"What?" Heero snapped to attention. "Are you certain? Because she told me…" He stopped. "She lied…in case I came to try to hold her hand. She's so damn independent…" Heero shot out of his chair and began pacing. "It's nearly eleven now…I'll never make it in time."
"Think again, Yuy." Duo held up the keys to his rented car. "It's an old man's family sedan, but you're in the presence of the greatest pilot who ever operated a Gundam. And I'm willing to get you to the hospital on time, if I know for sure you're going to do the right thing."
Heero hesitated, a scowl on his face. He had never taken kindly to ultimatums. "When are you going to quit trying to navigate my life, Maxwell?"
"When you start learning how to run it better," he tossed back, flippant.
Looking back down at his watch, Heero made up his mind in the time it took for the second counter to change. "Let's go."
****
"All right. I'm going to give you a local anesthetic to numb the area now. The nitrous oxide should be relaxing you." Sally guided Relena's feet into the stirrups. "Madam President? Relena? Can you hear me?"
"I can hear you." Her words were dreamy thanks to the chemicals she was breathing through a rubber nose piece. "And yeah…I'm relaxing."
Sally hesitated with the hypodermic in her hand. "This is it. I can stop right now. All you have to do is say the word."
There was a pause before Relena replied, "You know…when I was really little, I used to play house and pretend that I was going to have a baby. I'd put a pillow underneath my dress…and I'd sing to it…" She let the memory trail off. "Please just do it, Dr. Po."
Sally glanced at her nurse. "This will hurt, just to warn you."
Relena's eyes were wet by the time Sally finished administering the local. She looked at the IV in her wrist, another source of minor pain. Poked and prodded…would there ever be a time again when she wouldn't be poked and prodded?
"We'll give that a few minutes to take complete effect before we start," Sally murmured. She let out a little sigh. What did one say to the President during her abortion? "Are you sure you don't want Noin to come in to be with you?"
"It's all right," Relena replied, shaking her head against the stiff pillow. "She shouldn't have to see this…she's pregnant, did you know? She and Millardo…want their baby so much…" Relena closed her eyes. "I'm so happy for them."
Sally bit her lip. "I know you are." Taking a deep breath, she nodded curtly. "Just relax and breathe. We're going to get…"
She was cut off by commotion outside, raised voices and a thump on the heavy door. Relena opened her eyes. "What's going…on out there?"
"I don't know." Sally pulled off her rubber gloves. "Keep monitoring her," she instructed the nurse. "I'll be right back."
Just as Sally reached the door, it flew open. One of Relena's bodyguards fell into the room, having been used as a human battering ram by the man who now stood in the doorway. Sally blinked. "Heero?"
The guard on the floor tried to pick himself up. "I'm sorry, Doctor…Madam President. I tried to stop him."
A sheet was strategically draped over her lower body, but Relena was feeling too woozy to be embarrassed. "I don't…understand. What's going on?" she whispered.
Heero pushed the inept guard out of the room and looked straight at Sally. "Have you done it yet?"
She looked straight back at him. "You're not too late."
Relena lifted her head off the pillow with much effort. "Heero…I told you…not to come. You never…listen to me."
"We never really listen to each other." Moving past Sally and her nurse, he approached her side. "This isn't what we want, Relena. We don't want this abortion."
"We?" She licked her dry lips.
"We," he repeated.
"But…we have to do it." Relena's eyelids drooped a bit; Heero gingerly lifted the rubber tube away from her nose. "For all the…reasons. The poison…the people." She waved her hand around. "And you don't love me."
Sally cleared her throat and gestured to her nurse. "Excuse us." The couple barely noticed as the two women left them alone.
"I don't give a shit about reason." Heero smoothed her hair away from her forehead. "I don't want you to do it. I want…"
He stopped short, but she understood. Still, the ache in her heart didn't let up. "I can't, Heero. I can't…carry this baby…knowing that some madman…could take it away…without warning." She turned her head. "Please…I can't."
"We'll just leave," Heero told her, surprised at the vehemence with which he spoke. A plan formed in the back of his mind as he spoke. "We'll disappear. We'll live somewhere in the woods or something until the baby comes. Wufei and Trowa will continue the investigation, and we'll come back as soon as they find the bastards. Relena…please."
She looked back at him. "This isn't…you, Heero. You don't…you've never cared…before."
"This is very much me," he corrected her. He shook his head. "See what you've done to me?"
Relena squinted at him. He was slightly blurred, but he was still Heero. Standing there, telling her everything she needed to hear. "I don't know…what to do."
"Let me get you out of here before this goes any further. I'll take you somewhere no one can find us, not even your brother." Heero knelt down so his face was level with hers. "I was ready to give up everything today, but I would have spent the rest of my life regretting it. This is all…new and maybe it's all too fast. Part of me can't even believe the things that are coming out of my mouth…"
She injected a quiet, "It's the most I've ever heard you say."
"But it feels right, Relena. For the first time in my life…I'm doing what *I* want to do. And it feels right." He ran his tongue over his lips. "What do you say?"
Although she was still numb and woozy, and now shell-shocked by his confessions, Relena had always known what her answer would be if he ever found the questions.
"All right." She blinked and let her tears go with a smile. "I'll disappear with you…Heero."
****
To Be Continued