Fade To Black

" Why?" That single question, that one word…

"God damn it why!?!?!?" The pain, oh gods the pain, gripping at my body, my heart, my very soul…Why? Why wouldn't the pain go away? Why did her angelic face still haunt my mind? I was strong; I should have been able to cope with this…after all it was my choice to kill her…to kill my little bird, my sweet... Inoccent Robin

The dark deed had been preformed one week ago, and it still hurt. Now as I look at my dark image in my shattered mirror I see what she has done to me…No…What I have done to myself…

" Robin…." That single word, how I had once loved the way it rolled from my lips, but not now…now it was a reminder of what I had done, of the dark crime against god I had committed.

With a savage growl, I smashed my clenched fist into the already broken mirror. How badly it hurt, and yet it was nothing compared to my soul, my heart…and how it was being ripped to shreds without mercy…In fact… that pain was rather pleasing…But it was nothing compared to the pleasure I once had…When I was still able to hold my sweet little bird, my Robin, My love…My life…

It was a sad realization that I was a mere shadow of the man I once was, a realization that I had only recently admitted. I was sick, and there was no cure on heaven or earth that could save me, but maybe…I could find salvation in hell…

"That's it." I muttered, for it was often now that I spoke to myself…and that often my words came without the help of what little of my mind still existed." That's it…Robin…" It was so simple! And to think that it had taken me so long to discover the answer to my plight! " Oh what a pathetic fool I have become without you Robin, but no more! No more will I be forced to deal with this hell!"

I let out a laugh that only one of an unstable mind could possess, and hobbled over to my broken bed, I had smashed it long ago." No more, never again shall I be forced to feel such as I do now." My words were spoken in a singsong like manor. " Though I still have one dilemma… How shall I do it Robin? How shall I finally end my torment?" I looked to the broken pieces of glass lying upon the shaggy floor of my unkempt apartment. "…Shall I offer my blood to you Robin? Will my death by blood loss appease you? Or shall I find a different manner of performing my salvation? What to you suggest my little bird?" Still chuckling gaily to myself, I laid back on my bed, black ratty hair pillowing my troubled head. I lay there for a while, still, yet terribly insane. Still…damnit, how I hated to lie still. I leaped from my laying position to the ground where I landed on all fours like some rabid animal…

" An animal…yes that is what I am now that I have done away with you my angel…a beast…a blood thirsty creature… yet the blood I crave is my own…"I rolled onto my back, eyes open wide to face the ceiling of my crumbling apartment "…Now. How do you deal with such a beast as myself?"

Once again I leaped from my former relaxed position, and struggled to my hands and knees upon the sudden feeling of dizziness…" that's it my beloved! I have found my answer! I shall take my life the way I would end an animals! And the way I have destroyed so many others…including you my little bird…" Once again the laughter of a sick man rose within me, oh it was just so right! It only seemed sane (something that I currently was not) that I should be done in, in the same way that I had taken out all of my other victims.

Still laughing like the mad man I was I began to search around what little of my apartment that I had not already destroyed…

"Where is it?" I wined like child searching for it's favorite toy " why can't I find it?"I tilted my pale gaunt face to the heavens, and raised up my blood-covered hands, hands covered in a mixture of my own blood and Robins. For I had not bothered to bathe myself since that night.

" Are you testing me?" I screamed, not bothering to care about if any one heard or not. I had already succeeded in chasing away my neighbors, and the people below me. " Well are you Robin? Are you suggesting that I shouldn't take my own life? That I should be forever doomed to live out this horrid life as a mad man?!…Or…are you merely suggesting I find another way?" Then I heard it…I heard the soft wailing of my little bird.

Acting upon pure reflex I spun around looking franticly for the source of the sound. "Why?!?" once again it was this word I chose to scream out. Throwing myself to the floor, I curled up into the fetal position, and slowly began to rock back and forth.

" Why must you torture me so my little Robin?"I clutched my head as the wailing continued. " why?…"the question was soft, childlike almost…But this tone did not last…"Why?!" I scrambled to me feet and over to the broken, battered bed and peered under it to the musty blackness. And there it was…my gun…the tool, no the key to my salvation. I couldn't keep the laughter down, like a giddy child; I reached greedily for the weapon and cradled it in my arms. "Just like when I held you Robin…when I killed you…oh how I had clung to you…. but no…no more…."Taking the gun I pointed it at my head, but it didn't feel right.

" Where shall I aim Robin?" I spoke once again to the nothingness surrounding me…Consuming me…"I was lost in a moments thought as I tried t remember back to that night, "where did I strike the killing blow on you Robin? I need to know so that I may finally leave this world… but in the same way you did…"Then it came to me, and a twisted smile spread across my face…"

" Of course…your heart Robin…the very thing I wanted to badly to possess… Ironic no? That I would of so happened to destroy the thing that I sought out the most…"It took only a moment for me to aim the gun at my heart, still beating with the exhilaration of the act in itself.

I cocked it

"This is."

Twice

"For you."

One last time

"Robin…"

I pulled back the trigger, and allowed the pain and pleasures of the bullet entering my chest cavity consume me. It took only a moment to find, and embed itself in my heart. Finally it could all end…. and yet…I still hurt…but it was not from the bullet, or any other physical wound I had done upon myself.

" I'm sorry…my little bird…" I uttered faintly, this having been the sanest moment I had experienced since her death. Then slowly, painfully slow. Everything faded to black.

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Robin- O.o;; errrrrrrm ok…first Amon kills me then he goes insane…then he kills himself WHEN WILL THE TORMENT END?!?!?

Meow-Chan: with my death of course

Amon- ¬.¬ that can be arranged

Meow-Chan- O.o errrrrrm cowers behind Robin dun kill me!!! It's be nice to kitty week

Amon- you really expect me to listen to you!?!?! You just killed me!!!!

Robin- hey she killed me first TT

Meow-Chan- relax kids I can kill each of you however many times you want >.>;;

Robin- wOOt dances around for joy, and rather badly I might add

Amon- --;; someone just kill me now

Meow-Chan- sorry no can do you already died once in this story

Amon- pulls out gun and…

The next scene has been edited out for extreme violence, death and cruelty to Meow-Chan

O.o