Aishuu Offers:
Lessons in How to Make a Bishounen Snap
~ A Hikaru no Go fanfiction ~
mbsilvana@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: Hotta and Obata wouldn't sue, right?
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PART FOUR: Another Suitor, Sex Ed and the War on the Home Front
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In less than a week, my class was due to host its own version of a Go salon. I was, frankly,
completely exasperated by their efforts. Some of their ideas were... odd to say the least.
Fujita and Murisaki were extremely competent class representatives, organizing groups for what was
to take place. One group was going to play the capturing stones game, while another was going to
serve coffee. Four girls had volunteered to be counter girls, and the rest of the class was going to
help with decorating. They had already managed to get hold of twenty cheap gobans, and were
planning on holding a raffle for a good set which Kaidou-sensei donated.
He also was loaning his personal goban for me to use as I tutored. I wasn't actually going to be
playing shidou-go, since that would take too long, but I would be teaching those who were willing to
pay an extra fee in ten minute sessions.
I was not surprised when Kaidou-sensei told me he had advertised at the local Go salon.
"There'll be plenty of players coming just to see you," he said. "It's not often they have a chance to
play against someone who's about to play for the Honinbou title!"
Yes, because people who were about to play for titles usually spent time studying, I thought.
Still, that was better than seeing the outfits the girls had come up with. Cute, frilly, and... glittery.
And each time they made the slightest alteration, they insisted on modeling them, and asking me for
my opinion.
"How does it look, Touya-sama?"
"Is this color good on me, Touya-sama?"
"Don't a look just like a counter girl?"
Uh-huh. I'm sure Ichikawa would have quit if my father had decided that she had to wear any of the
designs.
Having girls twirl around, displaying themselves for my benefit was not doing anything for my
popularity among my male classmates... and I felt like my blush was now a permanent part of my
face.
One of the girls even asked if I would prefer the skirt, which hung a rather immodest eight inches
above her knees, shorter.
That hole swallowing me up would have been REALLY welcome. I thought I was about to pass out
before Isumi-san rudely escorted her away. I was feeling really light-headed as all the blood rushed
out of my skull and to... other parts.
I'm a sixteen year old boy — what do you expect of me?
Luckily, aside from being embarrassed by the constant parade of models, they didn't involve me too
heavily in preparations. I was taking a rare moment for myself when Fujita came to the library,
handing out lists of what we were expected to do.
"All you have to do is show up," Fujita told me.
I gave him a weak smile in return, even though I was still plotting ways to get out of it. "Yes," I
agreed softly.
He straightened a pile of papers on my desk absentmindedly, apparently something of a neat freak as
he examined me for a moment. "You really don't like all this attention, do you?" he asked
curiously.
"I need it like I need a hole in the head," I told him honestly. I was a bit surprised that another boy
was actually treating me like I was a human being.
I liked it. It didn't seem to occur to most of the rest of the world that I was human.
"You know, I thought I was going to be the class star," he said, and I regarded him a bit in surprise.
Someone actually wanted this kind of attention? The thought was incomprehensible to me, but
Fujita was still speaking.
"In middle school, I was the most popular guy, and I didn't see any reason for that to change — I
mean, I look good, have money, am reasonably intelligent and try to be nice, and I play soccer," he
told me. "But you..."
"I just wanted a normal school life," I confessed.
There was no jealousy or resentment in his eyes, and I tugged on my cuffs, unable to think of
anything to say. He was genuinely confused about what had happened.
So was I. I was a Go player... when had go gotten to be stylish?
I will never, never understand women.
Neither, apparently, could Fujita, who just shrugged with a slightly helpless expression. "I don't get
it. Everything about you screams 'introvert.' I bet you wish you could find a hole and bury yourself
in it," Fujita told me.
"Sometimes. Is it so wrong to want peace and quiet?"
A small smile found its way onto Fujita's face. "Life would be awfully boring that way, don't you
think?"
"I could use a little boredom. I've got enough going on..." I murmured, feeling a bit disgruntled.
"Oh?" Fujita sounded genuinely curious. "No offense, but I'm not clear exactly what a Go pro does.
All I know is that Kaidou-sensei is awfully impressed."
Even though I hadn't intended to, I told him exactly what my schedule was like. His eyes widened as
I explained the stress of my impending title game against Kuwabara-Honinbou, and how I was also
still in some of the last rounds of both the Gosei and Judan title matches.
"I... had no idea," he said. "Kaidou isn't kidding when he says you're impressive, is he?"
False modesty was getting me nowhere. "I'm one of the best of our generation. My father is the best
of his. It takes a lot of work and practice," I said bluntly.
"Why are you even bothering with school?"
"Because it seemed liked the right thing to do."
"I'll see if I can get some of the others to back off," Fujita said. "I know the guys haven't been that
nice."
I sighed. "I'm used to it. I always seem to make enemies."
"Isn't it lonely?"
"I have some friends," I told him softly. "When people don't like you, at least you know it's an
honest feeling."
He blinked a bit in surprise, and leaned a bit closer to me, so our faces were less than a foot apart.
His bright eyes seemed to suddenly start glowing. "You know, I can see why the girls think you're
so interesting. There's something about you..."
Oh, dear GODS! I thought.
"Ex-excuse me!" I said, stumbling to my feet as I gathered my books and raced for the door.
It would be just my luck to end up with the second-most eligible guy lusting after me, on top of
everything else.
Dammit!
***
I knew my patience had been stretched to the limit by the way my father's study group was irritating
me. Usually I was quite happy to be with them, but today was a different story. Ashiwara's prattling
wasn't entertaining - it was annoying. And I was ready to cheerfully take Ogata's cigarette and...
Well, I knew that my temper was on edge.
There was something about being around my father that is strangely calming — he seems to project
an aura of serenity that encompasses everything around him, making time stand still and everything
else insignificant. I want very much to be like him.
It was too bad that he was late for our study group, because lord knew I needed to be soothed. I was
wound tighter than a spring, and putting me in a room with Ashiwara and Ogata was not a good
idea. Don't get me wrong — I like both of them very much, but they're both unable to resist...
meddling. I swear Ogata finds my life a great drama set up for his personal amusement. And
Ashiwara... kami-sama save me when he has "my best interests" in mind.
Anyway.
The number of people who attend the study group varies from session to session. There's anywhere
from four to twenty, depending on how social my father was feeling, and if there was a major match
to be discussed. Other factors included weather, work schedules and if my mother had made her
famous mochi as a snack and word had leaked.
Go players will do anything for food.
My mother hadn't cooked, and there weren't any major tournaments that had just been played.
Therefore, the session was small, with only six people attending, including myself and my father.
Ashiwara and Ogata were regulars, rarely missing a session. Most people saw Ashiwara as natural
company for me because of how close we were in age and it was something I had mixed feelings
about. Ashiwara was one of the nicest people I knew, but he also was one of the densest. It reminded
me of dealing with a puppy that refused to get off a couch. I actually got along better with Ogata,
though I sometimes had horrifying visions that I would turn into him in twenty years.
I was not looking forward to living a Go-obsessed life with fish as my only company. But I could see
it happening.
The other two guests were Junpachi Suichirou and Echigoya Dan. Junpachi was a promising
amateur who was going to attempt the pro exams as an outsider, while Echigoya was a 5-dan who
had just lost the second preliminary round for the Gosei round. He wasn't destined for greatness, but
he was good company and loved the game.
Today, though, I was twitchy, and Ogata keyed in on it immediately.
I didn't like how he was looking at me. His eyes were following me like a cat eyeing its prey, and I
thought and the smoke that curled around him made me want to cough.
"How's school, Akira-kun?" he asked finally, his voice as smooth as silk.
"Fine."
He tilted his head and looked at me curiously, obviously detecting that Something Was Wrong from
my monosyllabic answer.
"Are you making a lot of new friends?"
Game face, I thought. Wear your Scary Face! I thought. The Scary Face! will let him know you're
in a serious mood, and get him to bug off! "Some."
Obsessive stalkers probably counted by some definitions..
Ogata, though, was one of the few people who wasn't deterred by the game face. I had forgotten that
his game face was where I drew the inspiration for mine.
"Any of the girls give you love letters yet?" he asked, tilting his head curiously.
My back went rigid, and that blush, which I wish I knew how to hide, immediately sprung to life.
"O-ogata-san..."
Did Ichikawa tell him? I wondered, knowing her propensity to gossip, but she wouldn't do anything
to humiliate me like this, would she? A smirk found its way onto Ogata's lips, but he didn't say
anything else. He didn't need to - the damage was done.
Enter Ashiwara.
"You have a girlfriend?" he asked eagerly. "You're growing up on us! What's she like? Is she cute?
When can we meet her - and does she play Go?"
His questions tripped over themselves so fast I couldn't make sense of them, but even as I opened
my mouth to deny them, Junpachi was adding his two cents.
"It'd be best if she didn't play," he said. "Trying to have a girlfriend who plays is asking for trouble,
because she'd end up feeling humiliated."
"No! It's better when they do! That way you can share your love for the game with them!" Echigoya
disagreed.
"How do you know? When's the last time you went on a date?" Junpachi asked.
"That's not fair! Least I didn't get dumped at the altar!"
"Don't you dare bring that up!"
"Akira-kun, what's she look like?" Ashiwara asked. "You move so quick! Of course, I don't think
that's a surprise, considering that Touya-sensei was supposed to have married your mother four
months after meeting her..." He started counting on his fingers. "And I think you were born nine
months to the day..."
I did NOT want to know that! I had purposely avoided even trying to figure out my conception date,
and now Ashiwara was shoving it in my face! Some images were just too horrifying to think on -
and your parents having sex is one of them.
"Eight months," Ogata inserted smoothly. "They were married in April."
"Ohhhh, were they! I didn't realize it!" Ashiwara said, his eyes widening so they were the size of
saucers.
"We don't talk about it," Ogata said sternly. "But if Akira-kun has a girlfriend, maybe we should
talk to him before he gets into trouble."
"I do not have a girlfriend!"I said, horrified that they would even THINK I would do something like
that.
Ashiwara gave me a disappointed look, before reaching over and giving me a friendly clout on the
back which shook my teeth. "Don't worry, I'm sure it will happen soon!"
I shut my eyes, wishing they would all just go away. "Can we please just get on with this?" I
demanded.
They stared at me for a moment, before Echigoya seemed to come to himself. "Um, yes. I had a
problem I wanted some help with." He quickly arranged some stones on the goban, and we all stared
at the problem. "This was my last game. I was white, and I couldn't see a way out of this."
The game was close, and as we studied it, I realized that it was a life-or-death problem. It was hard
to focus my attention on the problem in front of me, and I took a deep breath, reminding myself that
this was Go, and I could solve it if I concentrated....
"Here," I said, pointing at the upper right corner, where white was about to overrun black. "If you
play a hane here, you should be able to prevent the opponent from connecting."
Rather than the usually nods of agreement, the others gave me dead silence in reply. Looking up
after the moment of silence extended into two, I realized they were all staring at me.
"Um, Akira..." Ashiwara said finally. "We're trying to think of the move for the WHITE side."
Ouch. Talk about embarrassing. "Um, white should work on connecting there, then?" I replied
weakly, but it was a bit too late to cover for myself. I had just let on that I was totally out of it. Not
wise, when Ogata Seiji was in the same room with you and considered you the movie of the week.
The smoke seemed to get even thicker as he leaned forward, and opened his mouth to ask another
question, one which I was sure would completely mortify me.
I was saved, though, by the sound of the door opening and closing, and the measured sound of
footsteps I had always associated with my father.
Rescue!
"Hello, Touya-meijin," everyone said respectfully, and I took a deep breath, using a second to calm
myself down.
"Hello, father," I said. Tug, tug...
He noticed me fiddling with my sleeves immediately, since he always watched hands in the same
manner I did, and his eye arced slightly as he knelt down on the mat we had saved for him.
"Are you okay, Akira?" he asked in concern.
I wanted to run my head into a wall. I wish I knew how to stop myself from messing with my cuffs
or collar every time I got upset.
"Fine!" I hurried to assure him, but everyone else gave him devious smiles.
He wasn't at all bothered by that. My father radiated his usual serenity and that made me feel
absolutely horrible. There's nothing worse about being in a bad mood than having the ideal of Zen
sit in front of you, innocently showcasing the way you should be behaving. My father is the person I
respect most in the world, but there's nothing like having a perfect role model to really set you on
edge.
So much for him calming me down.
"Ogata?" my father said simply, turning to the most senior member of the group without a regard
for what I said.
"Akira is apparently experiencing some girl problems in school," he said, taking a long drag on his
cigarette. "He won't say anything else."
Junpachi handed my father a cup of tea, which he sipped thoughtfully. "Akira brought home perfect
grades in his health classes, so I'm sure that's not a problem."
It took a moment for me to get at what he was getting at. Our junior high health classes contain a
section on sex education, and he was implying.... "Father!"
"Those classes aren't very practical, though," Echigoya lamented.
"You should know," Junpachi teased him.
"Shut up."
"I'm sure Akira is just a bit shy," my father said after a while. "It's not Go, but I'm sure he'll master
dating when he sets his mind to it."
Not you, too, Father! I thought desperately. The last thing I wanted was my father getting involved.
Somehow or other, if he did, I knew everything would seem so RATIONAL that I couldn't deny the
demands they made of me.
"It's not about dating!" I finally said, wishing they would just leave me alone.
The group looked back at me. "What is it, then?" my father asked.
It was very hard to think of a way to phrase what was happening without letting on that I had a fan
club that WAS full of girls - that would just give Ashiwara and Ogata perfect ammunition. "I have
an obsessed fan for a math teacher, and he's convinced the class that for our school festival this
Saturday, it'd be a good idea to present a Go salon."
They blinked once, and then all of them started to laugh - even my father was chuckling quietly. "A
Go salon in your school?" Ogata asked between snickers.
"Yes! They want me to tutor, and the girls are making what they think counter girls wear, and it's a
huge mess. I do not to get involved in this! I have the Honinbou finals coming up!"
My tirade just encouraged them to laugh even harder. Finally Ashiwara managed to choke back his
laughter enough to speak. "Akira-kun, it's good that students your age are getting interested in Go!
You love the game, why not share it with them?"
I was not about to let them know that I was more worried about the girls who were involved in
setting it up - along with our male class representative - using the opportunity to corner me. I just
glared at them, which set them off again. "Can we please just play?" I asked stubbornly.
Father watched me carefully as I pretended to turn my attention to the board, but it was Ogata's eyes
I felt more keenly.
He was Up To Something.
Kami-sama help me survive the weekend...
END PART FOUR
Up Next: Part 5
The final part! What does it take to completely push Akira over the edge? You guessed it: Shindou
Hikaru...