1Author's Note: Didicatted 2 my betta, hoo cot all teh speeling arrows 4 me.
Warts and All
by
Shippopotamus
All his life, Severus Snape had searched for his "soul mate", someone whose boundless love knew no end, whose infinite wisdom and beauty transcended time and space itself. And now at long last, he had found him. He gazed into his lover's majestic mahogany orbs and felt his heart go pitter-pat pa-pat-pat-thump. He caressed his smooth, supple skin, like velvet moonshine in the sparkling abyss of nocturnal reverie, and ran his tongue over his companion's backside, pausing to savor the delicious taste that danced on his mouth. 'Oh rapturous day! Caloo calay!' he thought as he stood panting, his arms enfolded around his sweetie-poo's magnificent pecker. Truly it was a marvel that one so young could have a rod so strong, it rivaled that of Dumbledore's.
Crying tears of magnanimous bliss, he unzippered his pants and grabbed his wing-wang and proceded to shake it to the left, shake it to the right, shake it, shake it, you know what I like. Clear, sticky essence of his manliness poured out of his ready opening and dribbled down his thigh as he lowered himself towards his mystery's man's cavernous mouth. His obedient sex-slave willingly opened his jaws and began sucking away, like a child drinking sweet milk from it's mother's teats. But this was not milk, it was the nectar of lurrvvee and only those who were truly destined to be together for always could partake of it's syrupy goodness (unless, of course, they were customers at the Leaky Caldron. Why do you think Butterbeer is so addictive?) Yes, Severus was wasted: high on an eternal wonderland of madcap snogging sessions mixed with Ogden's Old.
"I love you my darling, and I am sorry that we must keep our romance a secret" Snape said in between spasms of pure untamed erotica (or possibly epilepsy, he could never be sure). "Alas! I must hide in my dank and dreary dungeons, with my balls withering away, with each passing moment I am separated from you and your revitalizing chasm. Would that I could spend forever and a day, embroiled in steamy, boiling passion with your tender touch. The way you fondle me, it brings much hope, to my otherwise angst-filled existence, you are all that keeps me hanging on, with your big wontons, that taste so rich, like cherry bon-bons. Kiss me my pet!"
And with that, Severus launched into a full-throttle assault on his ever-ready dapper dandy. They remained that way for twenty idyllic minutes, when the clock struck midnight, the Witching Hour, and we all know how Sevvie feels about witches. wink wink
"Noooo!" moaned Snapey-woo as his beloved began to shrivel up, decreasing in size with each passing second. In a matter of moments, his partner had been reduced to next-to-nothing. He was still sobbing, when a timid knock came at his door.
"S-sir," stammered a pudgy young wizard.
Snape quickly wiped his tears on his sleeve. "What do you want, Mr. Longbottom?" he snarled.
"It's my toad. He's been missing. I- I already asked the other teachers and I thought you might... be able." Neville found himself unable to finish his sentence, while Snape was glaring at him with his penetrating gaze. He gulped and then mumbled "I guess I should be going!"
"Ribbit!" came a small voice from Snape's pocket.
"Trevor! However did you get there?" marveled Neville.
"Never mind, Longbottom. Just take that disgusting creature and get out of my sight!" Snape ordered.
Neville nodded, and ran out on the room lickety-split.
"Until next we meet, my bufo beau, my cuddle-kins!" Snape sighed languidly.
He picked up the vial of polyjuice potion, turning it lovingly in his long, hairy fingers before running them through his sebacious locks. "Sometimes it pays to be a potions master," he whispered into the wind.
The End