Shinya stood in front of Risa's house promptly at two o'clock the next day. His stomach ached something terrible as he reached out to knock on the heavy wooden door. Just as his hand was about to make contact with the door, it swung open and a small, pretty girl stepped out. Shinya recognized her at once despite the eight year age difference. For a moment he couldn't speak. This was little Risa? Kotori's little sister.
" Shinya-kun. " the girl breathed. " I'm so happy you could come. Please come in. " Risa stepped aside and allowed Shinya to pass.
" Arigatou. " Shinya replied softly, stepping into the house. The drummer was overwhelmed by the blast from the past he recieved. This house hadn't changed since he was sixteen and an uncomfortable feeling uncurled inside him. He shouldn't be here. It was too much. He was startled from his thought when Risa started to speak to him.
" I realize that was all short notice but it was so hard for me to write that letter to you. I know how close you an Kotori were. " Her voice was soft, pained. " I don't know why my family decided to do this. Maybe for closure, but they wanted you here to share it with them.
" I really appreciate the invite. " Shinya replied, offering a faint smile to the other.
Before Shinya could do anything, the younger girl attached herself to him in a tight hug. She shuddered faintly from her tears.
" Shin-chan, seeing you brings back so many memories. So many sweet memories, so many bad memories. "
The drummer pushed back his surprise and rubbed the girl's back gently. " Shh, Risa-chan. It's alright. "
Risa sniffed for a moment before composing herself and letting go of the other. " Gomen ne, I'm a little over emotional. " she forced a smile. " How's your band? I see you guys on TV all the time. I own a couple of your CD's. I like it. A little shocked that our teeny bopper Shin-chan would join a rock band but it's cool nevertheless. "
Shinya smiled. " I love my band. They're good guys and I really love playing with them. They take good care of me. "
" I'm glad to hear it. " Risa replied.
What seemed like hours later, the ceremony had ended and Shinya left the house. He felt like he was being suffocated, he needed air. Without realizing it, the drummer was headed in the direction of the family's temple and directly behind it, the family cemetery. No matter how much he wanted to turn around, Shinya couldn't bring himself from approaching the small headstone to the right of the cemetery. Tears welled up in the drummer's eyes as he dropped to his knees. The engravement on the stone was still crystal clear...
Suguru Kotori
January 2nd, 1978 to March 10th, 1996
" Kotori-kun...I'm so sorry. I miss you so much. " Shinya whispered, tears falling down his pale cheeks. Eight years, it seemed like yesterday that his dead lover had been killed. Shinya remembered it clearly to this day. The two teenagers had been crossing a busy street when a drunk driver spun his car of control and hitting Kotori with a fatal blow. The dummer had loved Kotori with all his heart and witnessing his death had made Shinya the quiet, insecure person he was. He was positive that Kotori wouldn't want it this way but Shinya couldn't seem to pull away from it. He couldn't lose another love. It would kill him.
Toshiya fidgetted restlessly as he looked around the room. Too hot, it was too hot in here. Standing, the bassist went to the window of the studio and threw it open, sucking in the cool air. Toshiya pressed his head to the screen gently and took a breath.
" Totchi-kun, what the hell is the matter with you? " Kyo asked, coming up behind the younger man.
" Nothing, Kyo-kun. " The bassist mumbled.
" You're a horrible liar. " The smaller man observed. " Are you worried about Shin-chan? "
Toshiya looked to the small vocalist. He was too quick sometimes. " I guess so. He just up and left so quickly. What if he's in trouble? "
Kyo smiled, shaking his head. " Shinya might be private but he's not stupid. If he was in some kind of trouble he would have told us. "
" Yeah you're right. I shouldn't be worried. " The bassist agreed.
" Why don't you just tell him you like him? "
Toshiya looked to his bandmate, eyes studying the man. " I think I made that pretty clear when I kissed him yesterday before he left. "
Kyo gasped, mockingly. " No you didn't! "
" Kyo, please? I'm not in the mood to be made fun of. "
" Gomen ne. What the hell possessed you to kiss him? I'm shocked you didn't get your lights punched out. " Kyo mused.
" On the contrary, he returned it. " Toshiya smiled faintly. " I've waited for that for a long time. "
" Then go for it. What have you got to lose? " Kyo asked.
" A great friendship. " Toshiya pushed himself away from the window and sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair. " When we stopped kissing, he looked so indifferent. I'm pretty sure he hates me for it. "
Kyo shrugged, " You'll never know until you ask. " With that, the vocalist turned on his heel and left Toshiya alone in the studio.
" It doesn't matter, " the bassist whispered to himself. " I think he went to Osaka for someone. "
Two days after the ceremony, Shinya was finally able to leave the Suguru's house and head back to Tokyo. The last three days had been exhausting for the drummer and he contemplated not announcing his return to his bandmates. He figured a couple days of sleep would do him some good. To top everything off, he wasn't sure if he was ready to face Toshiya.
Once on the plane, the drummer pulled his CD player and settled in, letting the sweet melodies he loved so much soothe him. Why was he letting something as trivial as a kiss bother him? A totally hot, satisfying kiss. Shinya shivered involuntarily. There was something behind that kiss. He could feel it radiating from his bandmates body, threatening to swallow him whole is he didn't break it. No, he wasn't ready to face Toshiya yet.
Toshiya panted heavily as he pushed into the man below him. He was tight, oh so tight. Who was he? This slim figure that was writhing under him in ecstacy. A sim light caught the man's features and Toshiya nearly cried when he saw that it was Shinya he was inside of. The bassist devoured the younger man in hot kisses, bruising his deliciously swollen lips. This was a dream...it had to be a dream. Damnit, if it was a dream, Toshiya never wanted it to end.
Toshiya woke up suddenly, Shinya's name pouring out of his mouth in heated moans. Oh Gods! It was a dream. The bassist took a couple deep breaths and shifted, uncomfortable from his erect arousal. Fucking dreams! Nothing a cold shower couldn't fix but Toshiya couldn't seem to move as scenes from his dream wafted through his mind like silent movie. Shivering, the bassist allowed his hand to slide down to his throbbing cock and spread the few drops of liquid over the tip of it. It had been so long. So long and his manhood was screaming for attention. The bassist stroked the shaft, letting the dream wash over him in consciousness. It wasn't long before Toshiya let out a semi-satisfied groan as he came against his hand. It would have to do for now. Lord, if he didn't give into temptation soon he was going to go mad.