" Ohayo, Totchi! " Kyo giggled, nuzzling his neck.
Toshiya blinked, utterly confused by the vocalist's actions. " Er...ohayo, Kyo-kun. What's with you? You're usually brooding. Why so happy? "
Kyo's grin got wider and he leaned in closer to Toshiya's ear. " I just spent one hell of a night with Kaoru. "
Toshiya couldn't help but smile. " Finally! "
" Oh shut up! I don't see you making any progress with Shin-chan. " Kyo retorted, wrinkling his nose.
" I know, " Toshiya frowned. " You know how difficult he can be. "
Toshiya shrugged the smaller man off his back and pushed him gently into the studio. " Sit down a minute. I want to talk to you. "
Kyo nodded and did as he was asked, sprawling out on one of the couches. Toshiya took a seat opposite from him and ran a hand through his hair. He prayed that what he was about to say wouldn't cause a riff in his best friend's newfound love.
" Kyo, the other day I went to Shin-chan's and found him in bed with Kaoru. All curled up in his arms. I don't know if this is going to hurt anything with you and Kyo but Shinya swore to me they didn't sleep together. I don't know whether or not to believe them. " Toshiya explained quietly.
Kyo nodded and sighed softly. " I know what happened. Kaoru told me that he went over there and Shinya was utterly trashed. I believe him when he says that nothing happened. Shinya resolved to puking a lot before he passed out. "
Toshiya blinked a couple of times, studying the bassist. " What? Shinya doesn't drink. Why would he get drunk alone? "
" He was depressed...over you. " Kyo said matter-of-factly.
" Over me? " The bassist sat back, a million thoughts racing through his head. " He's the one who rejected me. Why is he depressed over it? "
" He didn't want to reject you, Totchi. Gods, how blind can you be? He'd scared! I don't know why he's scared but he is. You can see it written all over his face. He's been that way for months. He's not as mysterious as he wants to be. You just have to see it. You can't, obviously. " Kyo sighed. " I trust Kaoru, and that's why I trust that nothing happened between them. "
Toshiya nodded and let what Kyo said to him sink in. So, Shinya was scared. That explained why the drummer had spent time avoiding him.
" By the way, Totchi, why is your face bruised? " Kyo asked
" Shin-chan. Saw me in the street with a friend and he punched me. " Toshiya shrugged.
" Ah, jealousy, such a wasted emotion. " Kyo smiled and stood. " I'm gonna go get a drink. See you in a few "
Toshiya nodded and thanked his friend before he left the room. Once the vocalist was gone, Toshiya sat back and sighed heavily. He had to so something. He had to make Shinya see that he loved him more then anything in the world.
After practice was over that day, Toshiya took care of his bass and casually approached Shinya who was still behind his drumset. He smiled faintly and nearly melted when the drummer lifted his eyes to him and pursed his lips together.
" Hi Shin-chan. Can you please come by my place tonight around nine? " He asked softly, praying that the other won't say no.
Shinya was slightly taken aback by the friendly attitude that Toshiya was putting forth. He nodded slightly. " Sure Totchi, I'll be there. "
With a satisfied smile, Toshiya thanked the man and turned to leave the room. He had so much to do and so little time to do it in. He zipped out of the studio and out into the streets of Tokyo. He had to so something he wouldn't have cared to do that day. Shop.
Shinya stood outside of Toshiya's apartment building, excitement and hesitation swirling in the pit of his stomach. He had had ever intention of just staying home but his curiosity had led him to his band mates apartment. Even now, standing outside the complex he considered turning around and running home. Still, he couldn't face Toshiya the next day if he did that. So taking a deep breath, the drummer willed his feet to move and within minutes, knocked on the bassist's door. The urge to flee the scene came again but before Shinya could act on it, the door opened and Toshiya smiled at him warmly.
" Thank you for coming, Shin-chan. Please come in. " The bassist stepped aside and allowed the younger man entrance.
Shinya stepped inside and blinked as he took in the atmosphere. The lighting was dim and a few candles burned in the living room. It was quiet except for the soft melodies of Shinya's favorite artist. The drummer through Toshiya a confused look and opened his mouth to speak but the bassist cut him off.
" I though we could have dinner together. Maybe talk about the recent mishaps that have evolved. " Toshiya smiled faintly, melting Shinya's insides.
" That sounds nice, Totchi. " Shinya smiled, nodding.
" Well then, dinner is ready and waiting. " Toshiya smiled again and took Shinya by the elbow gently and led him into the small dining area of his kitchen.
Shinya blinked, looking over the dishes on the table. Two of his favorite foods and desert were strategically placed on the white tablecloth. " Totchi, I didn't know you could cook. " The drummer said softly.
" It's one of my secret talents. " The bassist joked, gesturing for the other to sit before taking his own seat.
Shinya smiled brightly to the man across from him and not long after the two friends dug into the food, chatting happily like nothing at all had happened. Shinya was pleasantly surprised at how well Toshiya could cook and Toshiya was thrilled to see the drummer wasn't eating like a bird. The tense air around them had lessened and even into cleaning up they reminisced about the band's past. The only part of Shinya's life that Toshiya had an inkling of an idea.
Finally, the two sat on the couch in Toshiya's living room, listening to the music that Toshiya had picked out and sharing a six-pack of wine coolers. Toshiya had blushed when he told Shinya he didn't want to go to overboard with expensive wines. Shinya was perfectly happy with the mellow beverage.
" Shin-chan, the main reason I asked you here tonight is because..." the bassist hesitated a moment. " because I want to know you better. Shinya I've been agonizing over you for months. I want you more then anything and I can't really tell you why but there's something about you that gets to me. Please, I want to know why you're so mysterious and what's keeping you from me. I know you have to feel something for me otherwise you wouldn't have gotten jealous of Kira..."
Shinya held up a hand to stop the bassist's babbling. " Totchi-kun...I do feel something for you. I didn't want to admit if for a really long time because I was so hurt when I was younger. I didn't ever want to feel that kind of loss again so I tried to turn it off. I was doing great...then you happened. "
Toshiya nodded thoughtfully. " What happened Shin-chan? Please. I want to know. "
Shinya sighed and swirled the wine cooler around in a circle slowly. " Well...when I was growing up I had a friend named Kotori. He was my best friend in the whole world and things evolved by the time we turned sixteen. We fell in love and decided to be together. Our families were fine with it. Even encouraged it. Then one day, we were on our way to a store and we went to cross the street. Kotori stepped into the street first and...he was killed by a drunk driver. " Shinya choked back a sob and a few tears ran down his pale cheeks. " I saw him get hit, he died in my arms. The driver was charged with third degree vehicular manslaughter and served only eight months of probation. "
Toshiya felt his heart tighten listening to his friends sad story. Suddenly everything started to make sense to Toshiya. Shinya had been scared, all these years. He didn't want to love and lose again. Slowly, the bassist slid toward's Shinya and wrapped his arms around the smaller man in a warm hug. Shinya pressed his face into the man's chest and forced himself to relax. Toshiya's arms were so comforting, so warm. This is where Shinya knew he belonged.
The drummer looked up to Toshiya and his breath caught in his throat as the bassist's lips met his in a gentle kiss. Shinya melted instantly under the the warmth emanating from Toshiya. A small moan escaped the drummer's lips and Toshiya took advantage of slipping his tongue inside the younger man's mouth. He shivered as his tongue explored the wet caverns on Shinya's mouth, eliciting pleasureable moans from the drummer. Toshiya broke the kiss and his lips traveled over the soft flesh of Shinya's neck, nipping and licking at the sensitive skin. Shinya allowed the bassist's hand to slide up his thigh, teasing the flesh lightly and sending little shivers up his back. His touch was so gently, so loving. He hadn't felt so special to someone since Kotori. Pushing his dead lover out of his mind, Shinya moved to straddle Toshiya's lap and smiled faintly to the beautiful man under him.
" Gomen ne, Totchi. " He whispered softly.
" For what? " Toshiya blinked, confused.
" For being blind. " Shinya said simply, before kissing the other deeply, cupping the older man's face in his hands.
Toshiya moaned softly into the kiss and unbuttoned the drummers jeans slowly. Toshiya felt he needed to pinch himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming but he was here, with Shinya, almost ready to make love to him. Breaking the kiss, Toshia leaned back and lifted Shinya's shirt off of him and discarded it to the floor precariously. He smiled faintly as Shinya shivered from the sudden cold air that hit him. The bassist leaned forward and kissed along Shinya's collarbone, leading a trail of fiery kisses over the slim man's chest. He blew lightly on Shinya's nipple, causing the drummer to shudder faintly before taking the sensitive bud of flesh into his mouth, sucking at it roughly. Shinya moaned, letting his head fall back and tearing at the other's shirt wanting to be rid of the offensive article of clothing. When Toshiya let up the assault on Shinya's nipple, the drummer pulled the shirt over Toshiya's head and got rid of it. He pressed himself against the bassist's body, kissing his way from the older man's mouth to his nipples, nipping the flesh, satisified with the little moan's of pleasure escaping his lover.
Toshiya couldn't take it anymore, Shinya was teasing him and doing a really good job of it. In a swift movement, the bassist switched their position and hovered over the smaller man, kissing him deeply again. The bassist's hand wandered to the front of Shinya's pants and he gripped the drummer's rock hard cock through the clothing. Shinya arched his back and cried out in tortured pleasure.
" Onegai, Totchi. Don't tease me. " He whimpered softly, attacking the other man's neck with kisses.
" You respond so well. It's hard not too. " Toshiya laughed softly and slid the drummer's already undone pants past his hips, freeing his ready arousal. The bassist licked his lips faintly before moving low on the other man and blowing gently on his hard cock, making the drummer squirm in excitement. Closing his eyes, Toshiya took Shinya's organ into his mouth and sucked at the flesh gently.
Shinya moaned softly as he ran a hand through Toshiya's soft hair, lifting his hips to meet the other's sucking rhythm. It'd been awhile since Shinya had been with anyone and he could think of a better person to bring him to new heights then Toshiya. It wasn't long before Shinya was about to explode in his glory when Toshiya withdrew his attentions on his cock. The drummer whimpered and he looked up to his lover.
" Totchi...why'd you stop? " He asked, his voice soft. Toshiya simple smiled and kissed the younger man lovingly.
The bassist slid out of his pants and rested against Shinya, letting his organ brush against the drummer's teasingly. Toshiya was on fire and his ready cock was aching in anticipation. Toshiya gently parted Shinya's legs and kneeled between them.
" I need you, Shin-chan. " he whispered. " I love you. "
" I love you..." Shinya whispered back, locking the older man's lips in a gentle kiss.
Taking his que, Toshiya slowly pushed himself into Shinya, groaning in lust. Shinya was as tight in reality as he had been in his dream. The drummer cried out in pent up ecstacy and let his head fall back, passion bruised lips parted beautifully. Toshiya nearly came at the sight, but thankfully he had some self-control. Rocking into the other, the bassist found a slow rhythm. He nuzzled Shinya, whimpering softly, repeating his love and want for the fragile man beneath him. Shinya moaned beautifully, writhing underneath the older man.
" Totchi-chan..." he whispered, breath heavy. Shinya straddled Toshiya's waist, causing the bassist to move deeper within him.
A thin layer of sweat glistened on Toshiya's body as he picked up his pace, moving deeper inside the drummer, intentionally hitting his most pleasurable spot inside. Shinya cried out again, tears moving into his eyes as he clutched Toshiya close to him. The two lover's worked themselves into frenzied lovemaking before Shinya cried out Toshiya's name as he came repeatedly before the bassist finally spilled his juices into the other twice over. Panting heavily, Toshiya pulled himself out of Shinya and moved to lay next to him, holding the smaller man close to him.
" I love you, Terachi Shinya. "
" I love you too, Hara Toshimasa. "
February 6th, 2004
Dear Journal,
Today is mine and Shin-chan's one month anniversary. I don't think I've ever been happier in my entire life. This wonderful man that is now all mine had turned out to be even more then what I expected. He loves me! Can you believe that. My beautiful, mysterious Shin-chan loves me. We had a great day together, just the two of us. We wandered around town, shopping and saw a movie. Then we came back to my apartment and fulfilled our deepest passions. He's staying with me tonight and is sleeping next to me right now. I love to watch him sleep. He looks so peaceful, almost ethreal. Journal, I am the luckiest man on earth. Everyday I'm shrouded in Shin-chan's loving essence.
Toshiya