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Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters.

Kate: The Past

Try as she might, Kate could not get to sleep that night. This had been one of her most hurtful and horrible days ever. She knew that her feelings made no sense, she had been hurt much more before. Jack was just different, somehow...

Of course he's different than the other men, sneered some part of her brain. He's married to some woman named Carol. Kate rolled over and struggled to push that thought out of her head. He had never told her that he was married, she hadn't seen a ring on his hand before, but she couldn't help but overhear his conversation with Hurley about his beautiful, elegant wife. Kate had been with men who were just using her for some fun before, but she couldn't believe that Jack was that kind of person. Well he is. Get used to it. He had stood by her and comforted her and she could have sworn that he loved her like she loved him...

Giving up any ideas of getting sleep, Kate got up and pulled on jeans and a sweater. Quietly she went outside, hoping that a walk would clear her head. She knew that men she cared for could hurt her. This shouldn't be such a shock...

Kate was lying on the couch, reading her book, when Randy came home. He leaned down to kiss her and she smelled alcohol on his breath. It didn't bother her, though. He had been drinking more heavily lately, but she thought that he was probably entitled to it after losing his job of ten years through no fault of his own. She got up and followed him inside. "I made some dinner for you, Randy."

"Good." He took a piece of the chicken she had prepared and bit in. "It's cold."

"Well, I made it a couple of hours ago, you said that you would be home then. Why don't you try reheating it?"

Shoving his chair back, he walked over to her, annoyed. "I spend all day looking for a job to help us and this is how you react?"

"I..." Randy snarled and slapped her.

"I'll go out and find something for myself!" He stormed out, leaving Kate shuddering in his wake.

Kate looked up and stopped dead in her tracks. Just through the clearing, Sawyer was sitting down staring at his small fire. Just the sight of him was enough to make Kate remember how she had felt the day before with him. It was a good thing that Jack was there to comfort her, or she didn't know what she would have done. She hadn't meant to get hysterical, but that phrase he used just brought back memories of yet another horrible day:

"Kate, I said to come here!"

Kate groggily sat up in bed and looked at the clock. It read 1:30 AM. Why was Randy calling her into the kitchen at the hour?

"Kate, get in her or I'll..."

She didn't let Randy finish his sentence. As fast as she could, she was up and rushing to the kitchen. She loved Randy, but he had been scaring her lately. She entered the room to find Randy standing there, bleary-eyed, with a near empty bottle of wine in his hand. "I love you, Kate, you know." He slurred.

Kate nodded and tried to smile despite the sick feeling in her stomach. "I know, Randy."

His eyes narrowed. "Why didn't you say that you loved me?" He advanced on her threateningly. "Why not? Don't you?!"

"Of course, Randy", she said quickly. She backed up until her back was against the wall. He stepped forward again and pressed himself against her. She tried to push him back, but he was much bigger than she was. "Randy, I want to go back to bed, okay? Let me go!" When he didn't budge, she felt panic rising in her. She began to struggle against his weight in earnest.

"I though you loved me!" He demanded, growing angrier by the second. "Stop fighting me!" Reaching behind her, he grabbed a sharp knife out of the block. Grinning maniacally, he held it against her throat and pushed against her harder.

Everything was suddenly crystal clear to Kate. He is going to kill me. I have to make him stop! Kate was so filled with fear that she couldn't move; couldn't breathe. Suddenly, her adrenaline kicked in and she instinctively grabbed the knife. Without thought, she shoved the knife up into Randy's chest. He staggered back and collapsed onto the floor. Kate looked down at her lover's bloody corpse and screamed at the top of her lungs.

Her neighbor, Mrs. Karen, burst into her apartment. "What is wrong... Oh my God. You killed Randy!"

Kate gasped and shook her head. "No, you don't understand..." It was too late. The woman was already rushing out the door, screaming for the police. I killed Randy. The realization hit her hard and she fell to her knees, weeping.

Tears slid down Kate's face even now as she remembered that night. She really had cared for Randy, but she had had no choice. She also had no choice but to run away before the police arrived, there was no guarantee that anyone would believe her.

"Kate?" While she had been thinking, Sawyer had walked up to her. "Why are you crying?" Suddenly, he smirked. "Oh, I know. You found out that your new boyfriend was only using you and that he already had a wife at home? Are you upset because you know that he loves her and that she is probably better than you by far?"

"Shut up."

"I'll always think you're better, Kate." He stepped forward and put his arms around her. "No matter what." She leaned into him and closed her eyes. She would let him comfort her, but she would never let him in. She knew all too well how easily you could be hurt by loving someone. But still, was Jack worth it?

Sighing, Kate realized that, even in another man's arms, she was thinking of Jack. She pulled away, wondered what was wrong with her. She had found someone who cared only for her, but she couldn't help thinking that it would only make her happy if that person was Jack.

Next chapter: Back to the present. Jack and Kate can't avoid each other forever...

I know that Jack and Kate haven't seen each other in awhile, but don't worry. I promise you'll see much more of that in the next couple of chapters. Please continue to review!