Disclaimer: I did not create the premise and the characters in "Lost." I also didn't create the chat rooms and message boards that empower the former hobbit with almost unwarranted sexuality. But I am happy to exploit it all, especially Sawyer's southern drawl.
Rating: PG-13
Note: This is just sort of a nice little chat, because I assume they have a damn lot of time to just sit around and talk. This takes place sometime after "Confidence Man," probably during the very next episode. And I will admit to being a new convert to the show…so I'm guessing about Claire's voice and character. Let me know if I've screwed her up too badly, and, preferably, how to fix it. I especially need pointers on Australian turns of phrase.
Random Acts of Kindness
It was a rare overcast day on the island, although there was no end to the humidity and the heat. At least, though, Claire didn't have to squint her eyes into the sun all day. It wasn't like she didn't love the beach and the way the sun glinted off the water—hell, it was the only thing that made their predicament bearable at all—but it was nice to wake up to a day that wasn't blinding. It was like the weather mocked them with its happiness.
Once she had crawled out of her spot in the caves, she had seen that the sun wasn't out, so she headed for the beach, which turned out to be pretty near deserted. She needed some thinking time, and she could think so much better when it was cloudy, even if her thoughts were often depressing. She tried to focus on the baby, because that made her hopeful. The little one would be a dancer, she decided, with all the wiggling it did. Either that, or it would be one of those nervous, squirmy children. She didn't see how that could be, since she was generally so calm. But there was the plane crash…
So she turned her thoughts to Charlie, who had been distant for a while, but then suddenly sweet and insistent upon having her move. She had compared the life of the shore to the life at the caves, and this amazingly earnest person won out over the waves. But she still missed the water.
"Hey there," a voice drawled. Sawyer had snuck up on her and was standing in front of her, smiling a devious smile, although she reckoned that his smiles always seemed devious.
"That kid still kicking?"
"Yep."
"What're you doing out here with the rejects? Won't Doctor Jack miss you at the Kum Ba Ya's later?"
"What do you want?"
Sawyer sat down beside her, and he actually sounded concerned when he said, "I just wondered why you're out here by yourself. Thought you went to the caves for good."
"I did. I just needed space."
"From…?"
"Why do you care?" she said, suddenly a little irritated.
"I don't, honey. Just making small talk. If you don't wanna talk to the most hated man on the island…"
"Sawyer, you were annoying way before everyone started to hate you."
"I
see."
"Did you want something?"
"I just didn't expect to see you back here, that's all. After you left with shorty…"
"Shorty?"
"He's pretty damn short. Don't you think you could do better? Or is that why you're here and not there?"
"Do you really want to know the answer to that?"
He grinned wide and said, "Oh, I already know: you got it bad, and it ain't for me. It just doesn't make any sense. He's such a goofy-looking SOB, but he makes you all weak in the knees."
"He's sweet."
"Oh my Lord. Why is it women always want the sweet ones?"
"Because the God's gift to the world routine gets old fast."
"I see."
"Do you? You know, that's why Kate always runs to Jack."
"He's sweet?"
"He cares about the welfare of everybody on this island, not just himself."
"What if I told you I cared about your welfare?"
"I don't know why I'd believe that."
"Okay, I know you'll believe I care about Kate's."
"Then act like it."
"Okay," he said, standing up. He started to walk away, but he stopped to ask her, "How is it that Charlie got you to go to the caves? More to do? Better for the baby?"
"Peanut butter."
"Huh?"
"He brought me peanut butter. Okay, so it was invisible peanut butter—"
"Invisible peanut butter?"
"You should have seen it. He pretended to eat it. The way he licked it off his fingers, it was like it turned him on."
"Or it turned you on. You are one weird girl. Does he know that?"
"Yep."
"So you think he's sexy?"
"Sure."
"And that does it for you?"
"Yep."
"So, why is it Kate thinks I'm sexy but she won't give me the time of day, and she sure as hell won't admit it."
"She probably has admitted it to herself. The question is have you done anything to make her want to admit it to anyone else?"
"Sweetheart, I don't have any invisible peanut butter."
"She doesn't need peanut butter."
"What does she need?"
"How should I know? Ask her."
"You know, you're beautiful and smart."
"And I'm apparently the only person who'll give you the time of day."
His face darkened for a moment. "I don't need your pity, sweatheart."
"I don't think you're pitiful. I think you're hot, and I'm bored. I like your accent, and figuring you out could give me something to do for a whole day maybe."
"Just a day?"
"Well, I already know this much. You came to see a pregnant girl because you're worried about her, but not as worried as you are about whether Kate's at the caves now being talked into staying. And you already know that being sweet is how to get women. You just don't know how to be sweet without trying to get something out of someone. Which is really funny, because deep down, you're a sweet guy."
"And you're delusional."
He began to walk off, and she said, "I'm going to be here for a little while longer, if you want some company."
"Nope," he said, drifting back down the beach toward his hoard of stuff.
Claire stared out over the dark water, shaking her head. She really did want to figure Sawyer out. He couldn't be as horrible as people said he was. He hadn't done anything to deserve torture. If they'd ever spent ten minutes talking to him, they'd know he didn't have the inhalers. She said to herself, "If he did, he would have just asked them for some kind of payment." Maybe his attitude about the stuff he'd found was unreasonable, given their circumstances, but at least it was consistent.
She was warm enough for a nap, so she lay down, slowly and carefully. As she concentrated on the cool feel of the breeze blowing over her sweaty face and stomach, she heard footsteps. She opened her eyes to find Sawyer standing in front of her again.
He said, "Okay, so I thought about an invisible swimsuit, but I didn't think you'd take too kindly to that idea. So…" He dropped something orange and pink onto her legs. "It was too big for anybody else, but I didn't think about you. You think the bump might wanna go for a swim?"
She couldn't suppress a smile, but it soon turned to a look of uncertainty. "I don't know if I can really stay on my feet out there. You know, balancing the belly."
"No problem. I'll be right there with you."
"Do you have a suit?"
"Do I need a suit?" he said, grinning mischievously. "Or will your boyfriend be jealous?"
"He's not my boyfriend, and he won't know. Besides, I think everybody on the island has seen you naked."
"You got a point there. Okay, then good."
"Sawyer, just so we're clear, I know you're being nice to me just in case Kate comes back to see it."
"Sure."
"Wouldn't it be easier to be nice to Kate?"
"Do you wanna swim or not?"
"Let me change. You go over there and turn your back, you pervert."
"Yes ma'am," he said.
It gave her an odd sense of satisfaction to think that he would still want to see her naked, even though she was pregnant. Of course, that wouldn't be in the version of the story she told Charlie. At the thought of him, she began to imagine the same scenario, this time with Charlie as her swimsuit-less escort, but then Sawyer's voice interrupted her thoughts: "Are you pretending I'm shorter?"
"I'm pretending you're not an asshole."
He just chuckled.
No, Charlie wouldn't understand forgiving Sawyer. And he would not understand how nice it would feel to slip she and her little bump into the water, with or without an obnoxious escort. She was sure he would be jealous, as protective as he'd suddenly become. So she decided not to tell him anything about her clandestine afternoon with the most hated man on the island. That would be her second random act of kindness for the day.