CHAPTER VI:
Chris stared at the wall, and started talking, as if he was talking to himself.
"Mom always said, that when I was little I was crazy about dad. I would scream "daddy" at everything that orbed. I would always be the first one to run and clinch to him whenever he came. And she said he loved it. Dad adored me, and I adored him back. Why did dad stopped loving me, grandpa?" He asked rhetorically, his expression really sad "I just loved him so much and he left me alone. Why couldn't dad love me?" his eyes were getting watery and Victor had the feeling he had this conversation with Chris many times before.
"I was dad's favorite" He continued "We would do everything together, and then mom and dad got divorced, one day he left and after that… It was as if I was dead for him. He couldn't look me in the eyes again. He wouldn't be in a room with, he wouldn't answer my calls, unless I was hurt, and then he would just heal me and leave, not even a word. But I would just beg that something happened. I would pray that I would get hurt, just to see my daddy. He would go out with Wyatt, take him to train, teach him stuff and leave me behind and alone. He would come and help mom and the sisters when they needed anything, but he would never come for me. Just like that, I woke up one day and my dad was gone and he didn't love me anymore. I was his little buddy and he was my hero, he meant everything to me, and one day he disappeared and it hurt so bad. Why did he do that to me? Why did he stop loving me? When I loved so much! WHY Grandpa?" A few tears were running over his face.
-"I don't know, kiddo. What did everybody else told you?"
Chris shrugged.
-"Wyatt said it was because I was not powerful enough. Because he knew since I was little that I was never going to be powerful, I was nothing. And then mom died, and it was my fault, I couldn't protect her. He said dad hated me cuz I couldn't save her, and that I was a disgrace to the Halliwell family"
-"Hey, your brother sure sounds like a nice guy! And…aside from the source of all evil's opinion. What did other people said?"
-"I don't know! Some other type of crap, or they didn't know. BUT I DON'T CARE, I DON'T CARE ABOUT HIM" He yelled.
-"I can see that Chris" Victor answered him sarcastically.
-"I DON'T" He yelled.
-"And that is why you are freaking out right now, right?"
He stayed quiet.
-" I mean I bet he had a reason, it doesn't seem like someone could wake up one morning and forget he had a son, unless they are under a spell or something, and even then, that wouldn't be his fault"
-"I was eight grandpa. EIGHT" The tears clouding his vision again " And my hero, my companion left me without and explanation. I did everything to make him proud, so he would come back. I just wanted him to smile at me while he was helping mom or the aunts. Just look in my direction when he was taking Wyatt. He could save the whole world; he could pay attention to everybody but me. I was trying so hard to be perfect so he would notice me. But nothing was good enough. And then mom died, and my world collapsed, and I just needed my dad so badly, but no… he came and comforted Wyatt, he came and comforted my aunts, everybody but me. And I tried to be strong, everybody was so devastated for mom's death. Wyatt wouldn't eat, wouldn't talk, he was a mess. I had to be strong for them. But I just wanted my dad. And then Wyatt turned and I was left with nothing and he still didn't come. He left me alone with my grief and every time he didn't answer me, it hurt as much as mom's death did. I had lost it all, my father, my mom, my brother; the few other people I had left didn't take long in dying either. And then dad came, when everything was gone. When I wasn't even myself anymore. When I didn't have any love left, he came to ask for the thing he took away from me, and I never even knew why"
-"Chris, what do you say if we ask one of the girls to summon your father? The real one, the one from your time, so you guys can have a little talk?"
-"NO"
-"Why not? So you can have an excuse to whine for the rest of your life?" He was being harsh but he knew that was the only way Chris would understand. "You asked me why? I don't know why. But why not asking the one person that it's surely going to know"
-"Cuz I am scared! What if he tells me that he is ashamed of me? That he can't believe I am so weak? What if he tells me it was MY fault that mom died. I had Wyatt repeating it to me over and over again. I can't hear it from Leo"
-"Chris I'll be right beside you. And you have to know! Anything is better than not knowing"
Chris nodded but didn't seem very eager. They orbed to the manor and found Paige. Victor explained what was going on. And she managed to summon Leo with Chris's help.
Leo appeared in white blue orbs.
-"Oh my god! Chris" He said, as his eyes covered with tears "Oh my boy, my precious boy" he ran and hugged him tight "I thought you were dead, you disappeared, what happened to you?"
Chris pulled out from the hug violently.
-"NOW you care? After all this years, you pretend to care? How dare you?" He yelled.
-"I always cared, Chris. Always"
-"That is why you abandoned me like that? You left me alone, you deserted me. How could you? I HATE YOU!" Chris was fighting against his tears, but the tears were winning.
-"I had to, you don't understand. I had to leave"
-"You are damn right I don't understand! WHY? You know how much I needed you? How much I missed you? I did everything to make you proud, hoping that some day you would forgive me and come back to me. I tried everything! Why wasn't I good enough for you?"
-"Oh my boy" Leo tried to caress his son, but he pulled back "I was always proud of you. I know all you did, I was watching all the time. And you were always good enough for me. What's more, you are always too good for me, you were a better son than what I deserved"
-"You are DAMN RIGHT! I deserved BETTER! You were always watching, but never came and see me ?!? WHY? I needed you so much! I wanted you to be there so badly. I was supposed to be your little buddy! What could I have done so bad, that you leaved me high and dry like that? What did I do to you, dad, to make you hate me so much?"
-"Oh my god!" Leo's face was transfigured with pain and remorse, he never though he had cause his son so much pain. Chris always had seemed so strong "Chris, you always seemed so strong, I just thought you would get through it a lot better than Wyatt. I just never figured you needed anyone"
-"You were my FATHER!! And I was eight! You were my HERO! I pretended to be strong cuz I didn't have any alternative! What was I supposed to do? I had to pull it together for mom and Wyatt, and then mom died and I had to pull it together for Wyatt and the aunts. And then Wyatt turned and I had to pull it together for the world. And now here in the past…"
-"Chris, you don't always have to be the strongest one! You can't put the weight of the world always on your shoulders"
-"Someone HAS to. But that doesn't mean that the one that does, doesn't feel anything!"
-"I am here now, son. I have been here for you for the past five years. I tried to get close to you, you wouldn't let me, remember?"
-"OF COURSE, NOT! Did you expected to appear one day, after I had lost everything and that I would received you with open arms? NOW I don't need you anymore! Now I don't CARE anymore. I don't have a father! I lost him when I was eight!"
-"And that is why you called me? And why you are crying so much and getting overemotional? Chris I've been watching you since you were born. You don't get this emotional very easy" he said sweetly
Chris ignored his answer
-"Why did you leave me, in the first place?"
-"I had to!"
-"Why did you HAVE to, dad? What was so important that kept you from seeing your family? It's because being an elder just clouded all your family notions? And you bought their stupid crap that you are beyond attachments, that is why you decided that it was for the greater good to break your family's hearts? What was SO important that you would give up you family for that?"
-"YOUR LIFE!"
-"WHAT?? What do you mean? That's ridiculous!"
-"What did Piper tell you?"
-"She told us you guys decided to get a divorce, and that you had left!"
-"Well, that was really nice of your mother, since I actually abandoned her in the middle of the night, no explanation, nothing. I just left and never came back"
-"You bastard! How could you do that to her? She cried for years, she was devastated!" Said Chris punching his father on the face.
-"Listen to me Chris… please… just listen to my story for two minutes and then you can punch me and tell me how much you hate me and how much I ruined your life, and your mother's and you brother's"
-"What can you say that would excuse you for all you did. You are a scum!"
-'Chris, give your father a shot, that is why we summon him here, remember?" Said Victor
Chris looked at his father trying to pretend to be disinterested.
Leo started his story, already with his eyes watery.
-"The elders had tried to forced me to leave my family since before you were born, you know that. And one day when you were eight and Wyatt was ten, they found the perfect excuse. I had a project in charge and it failed. It wasn't anybody's fault, and it was definitely not because I had unattended my duties because I was taking care of my family. But it fitted perfectly for them, so they threaten me, either I went up there and became a full time elder or your soul would be recycled. They couldn't recycle your mom because she was a charmed one, or Wyatt because he was the double blessed. But they said that if I came near any of you again without a valid excuse, they would just kill you Chris, I couldn't let them do that" now he was plainly crying "You were my little buddy. You meant the world for me; I could have done anything to keep you alive. Even if that meant not seeing you again!"
-"But you were there for mom and Wyatt, but you weren't there for me!"
-"I wasn't there for anybody, buddy. I wasn't, that was just how you perceived it, because you wanted me to be there so much, you just got jealous of whatever little the rest got, just because you were getting very little too!"
-"NO!"
-"yes, I was little there for Wyatt, a bare minimum. Just because he was the double blessed and it was easier to invent an excuse to go out with him. He needed training, he needed guidance. I tried… but they didn't buy any of my excuses to take you with me! I just took what I could get. It was unfair to you, I know. But they wouldn't let me, and I am sorry if you felt I cared more for Wy than for you. Cuz I didn't, if I did have a favorite that was you. But I loved Wyatt, and if I found any excuse to be with him I used it."
-"And mom?"
-" I abandoned your mother horribly! If I saw her more often it was because she got hurt more often than you did. Or they needed some information, it was always demon related and they were always watching!"
-"And why didn't you tell us?"
-"They wouldn't let me! They were watching all the time, they knew that if I told your mother, she and her sisters would find a way out of this situation."
-"But you abandoned me. You left me alone! And I hated you for so long"
-"Yes, I know! But I rather had you and my whole family hating me, than had you dead! As soon as Wyatt killed most of the elders and the world became a chaos. I looked for you. The world was in ruins, but I felt relieved I would finally get to be with my boy. But you wouldn't let me!"
-"NO! No… you left me… it's not true! I hate you… why are you doing this to me?" he was sobbing so badly it was hard to understand what he was saying, not that he was making a lot of sense in the first place "It was my fault, you left because of me, because you knew I was weak, just like Wyatt said. That is why you came and console him in they day of mom's funeral. Because It was my fault, and you knew it since I was little. You knew I was just too powerless to be a Halliwel, I was an embarrassment for the whole family. I am just too weak, and my mom died because of ME. At the beginning you were embarrassed of me, and then when mom died, you started hating me! Because I couldn't save her, and you loved her"
-"Chris! What are you saying? Don't do that to yourself. Chris, it wasn't your fault! There was nothing you could do!"
-"You yelled at me! You yelled at me that day, and then you comforted Wyatt… You just yelled at me, my mom was dead, and all you did was yelled at me" he orbed away.
---
Leo's back flash
-"Dad, please help me… MOM is hurt real bad! I don't know what to do, please, please, please come… just this one time dad, I won't ask you for anything else ever again, I promise. Please come" He could hear his youngest son's crying in his head, and he orbed right away, his son wasn't one to ask for help if he didn't REALLY need it.
He orbed to the manor to find the love of his life covered with blood and Chris, kneeling beside her, clinging to her inert body, crying.
-"CHRIS WHAT HAPPENED?" He yelled out of panic and ran beside his ex wife. His son wouldn't move from on top of her, and he couldn't heal her. "Chris move" he said definitive, he didn't want to be rude to his son, he was just too worried. He still wouldn't move "CHRIS MOVE, I NEED TO SAVE YOUR MOTHER" Now he yelled, he was getting desperate, but Chris wouldn't react. Leo was freaking out! Piper seemed in really bad shape. He pulled his boy out with all his strength while he yelled 'CHRISTOPHER, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, GET AWAY FROM HERE. CAN'T YOU SEE I NEED TO WORK? GO SOMEWHERE ELSE AND STOP INTRUDING"
Chris left and he didn't see him after that
---
It was the first time Leo remembered he had yelled at his son that night, he hadn't mean to, he was just scared and Chris wasn't reacting.
His son was now gone, and he was feeling responsible for his mother's death and his father's disappearance, being the way he was, he probably also felt responsible for Wyatt turning evil. Leo's heart would have broke, but his heart had already been broken so many times, there wasn't much more left to brake.
Now Chris was gone, he noticed for the first time Victor and Paige were in the room. Something that was pretty weird, because Paige was long dead, and Victor was in the hospital with emphysema. Not only that, but he looked twenty five years younger than he should. And Paige, well, at least fifteen years younger than the last day he saw her.
-"What is going on here? Where did he go?"
-"Last time I check, Leo, you are the one with sensing abilities!" Said Paige sarcastically. "But FYI, you are in 2004, Chris came to the future, to stop whatever turned Wyatt"
-"He came to the past, does he knows how risky that is? 2004, the year he was conceived, he could have put his own existence in danger"
-"He almost did, but everything is fine now" Said Paige.
-"Everything but your son, if you care about him, as you say you do, just orb wherever the hell he is and finish your conversation with him"
Leo orbed to the golden gate bridge and sat down beside his son.
-" I am so sorry I yelled at you that day! I didn't mean to, I was scared and you weren't moving, and I just panicked. I am so sorry Chris! I really didn't mean to, buddy."
-"Get away, can't you see? I destroyed your family, you ought to hate me!" Chris didn't seem to be going to stop crying any time soon.
Leo just hugged him.
-"Shh, my boy. It's not your fault, none of it. If it is someone's fault, it's mine, for abandoning you"
-"I am so sorry, dad" He said finally returning his hugged.
-"Shh… if someone should be sorry it's me" He drawing circles with his hand on his back soothing him "I am so sorry, buddy. I really didn't have any other option. But I am so proud of you, Chris."
-"NO, I failed, I failed everybody!"
He cupped Chris face and looking into his eyes he said
-"Chris, you didn't failed ANYBODY, and I am tremendously proud of you. You are more than I ever deserved."
-"Dad…" he said
-"Yes, son?"
-"I missed you"
-"I missed you to, my little buddy" He hugged him again.
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Krakaktoa: I am glad you are, thank you for your support! Please keep on reviewing.
Vamp-Lynette: Well… here you have, update, and father and son moment, though is future father. I hope that is fine :). About how much Drew and Holly look alike… I don't know if they really knew who Chris was going to be, but they were probably thinking he might be Wyatt, so they might have taken into account how he looked, I was watching today some close ups of Leo and his eyes are kind of like Chris, too.
Lex: Your reviews are always so motivating. Thank you! I am glad you think this is a one of a kind story, it is true there are not many that pay that much attention to Chris and Victor. I hope you liked this chappie too.
Teri: That review was awesome. Thank you so much! Yeah I though Victor can't really say Leo is a bastard without thinking on what he did. That would be kind of dumb. I am so glad you like my story and think I should be proud of it :). I hope you still like it.
update : Yeah, I know.. it took a while. But well, I had things to do, and actually I had most of the chapter written down and my hard drive DIED, and that pissed me royally! But I hope you liked this chappie. Thank you for your review.