Lol thanks to everyone who reviewed! I have no excuse other than the fact that I am lazy to write out a personal thank you to everyone so... thank you to:

Sirius-Bond
Invisible Voice
Shorty-girly
Cmere1
Hokuspokus
Virgo Eyes
Frank the Pug
ilovefredgeorgeandsugar
And
Kinky Krooks (who has to get a special thank you for giving me an idea to put in this chapter, so thank you kinky krooks lol!)

Lol, I don't know why, but every time I think a chapter is really crappy, everyone says its good. Lol, I swear, the last two chapters I thought were really bad, but as long as people want to read them, I'll keep writing! Forgive me if the information in this chapter is a little off, but I have only saw titbits of the main film I'm parodying, okay? Lol, enjoy chapter five!

As they slowly entered the house on haunted hill, a dark figure emerged from the corner of the room. The group stiffened and a girlish scream sounded off.

"Hermione, shut up," Harry hissed.

"Yeah Hermione," said Draco digging her in the ribs, knowing full well it was he who had screamed so girlishly. The figure shuffled towards them, and as he got closer, they could see he was hunch backed.

"Hello," he said croakily, and smiled, showing a row of mismatched teeth. "My name is Raff Riff," he introduced himself. Hermione giggled nervously.

"You mean Riff Raff," she corrected him.

"That's what I said," he snapped, eyeing her beadily. "Now if you would like to follow me, I will take you to the party..."

"Oh, that's okay," said Ron, "We've already been to a party. We've just got back from one. In fact –"

"Well now you're going to another one. Aren't you lucky?" the man interrupted.

A loud shriek of delight was heard as a red haired woman who was sitting on the banister of the stairs cackled loudly. "You're lucky!" she laughed. "And I'm lucky, and we're all lucky!"

Suddenly, music blared out, and a song blasted through the various speakers rigged around the house.

She is so lucky

This Hollywood girl

And they say

She's so lucky!

She's a star

But she cries, cries, cries –

"Hey, cut the music!" Raff Riff yelled. It was stopped abruptly. "That's the wrong song," he spat.

"And I didn't know this was a songfic..." mused Harry.

"Neither did I! I can't sing," said Draco worriedly, and the group began discussing their singing problems.

"I just can't hit the high C notes," said Hermione.

"You've only got the high C's to worry about?" groaned Ron. "I can't even hit the middle B's!"

Suddenly the lights went off and the group turned to Raff Riff who was poised on the stairs.

"It's astounding," he sang.

"What is?" asked Hermione.

"Time is fleeting."

"What does fleeting mean?" asked Ron stupidly.

"Madness takes it toll."

"Oh, you are so right! When you've lived with a lightning shaped scar throughout your life, you know all about madness! There was this one time –"

"LISTEN CLOSELY," Raff Riff emphasised this lyric to Harry, who shut up meekly. "Not for very much longer. I've got to keep control."

Double doors at the other end of the entrance hall suddenly opened, and the group stared in interest at the crazy mix of people that were in there. Drag queens, punks and strangest of them all...

"Hey is that MADONNA?" Draco asked incredulously. The others gaped at the woman he was pointing at open mouthed.

"She is looking so rough," whispered Harry and the others nodded. She walked over.

"Hello jolly old chaps!" greeted Madonna. "How are you all doing on such a fine British evening?"

"Erm...Madonna, hi, yeah, I hate to break it to you but erm...you're not British," said Hermione. Madonna snorted.

"Why of course I am you silly old bugger! Tea, toast and all that Britishness! Now come on, lets vogue!"

Er...hey guys! You've probably forgotten the song part of the story by now so sorry to interrupt, but I just need to cut in and tell you: It's just a jump to the left!

"And then a step to the right!" The red haired woman wailed.

Really sorry, but I've got to cut in once more. Last time, I promise, okay?: With your hands on your hips!

The party guests put their hands on their hips, and brought their knees in tight.

"But it's the pelvic thrust," they sang.

"THEY REALLY DRIVE YOU INSANE!" Ron suddenly sang loudly.

"Ron!" said Hermione stunned.

"Sorry," he apologised meekly.

Hermione thought for a moment, and then shrugged.

"Ah what the hell!" she laughed, and the group ran into the hall.

"LETS DO THE TIMEWARP AGAIN!"

"Well I'm sorry, but that was ab-solute-ly dreadful."

The group spun round and were greeted with three figures sitting down at a table.

"You are by far the worst we've seen today," Simon Cowell drawled, but Randy interrupted him.

"Yo, yo, yo hold on dawg. Now, as you know I'm Randy –not-as-famous-as-my-brother-Michael– Jackson and I thought that was aight dawg."

"I agree," piped up Paula. "Now even though I'm Paula –who-the-hell-am-I-to-judge-singing-talents-with-my-short-lived-embarrasing-singing-career– Abdul, I can still spot good talent when I see it, and you guys are certainly American Idols."

"But we're British," pointed out Harry.

"Like me?" said a woman's voice from behind them. Simon rolled his eyes.

"Hello Madonna," he said wearily.

"Alright guv'nor!" said Madonna joining the group. "Ow are ya doin today, my fellow Britainican?"

"The word I think you're trying to use is Briton," said Simon dryly.

"That's what I said, di'n I," breezed Madonna. "Listen, my fellow Lemon –"

"You mean Limey?" Simon interrupted.

"Lemon and limes, apples and pears! Who cares!" said Madonna airily, "Lets vogue!"

Draco stared at her in dislike before turning to the group. "Come on, let's go," he said. They walked away from the madness going on in the hall and made their way out of the corridor.

"Hey!" called a voice behind them. The group spun around and were faced with...

The lord of the rings characters.

"Did you guys enjoy the show?" asked Legolas smoothly.

"What are you talking about?" asked Ron.

"Look, can we just beat these buffies down so I can go home? I'm on curfew girl," said Gandalf.

Legolas looked embarrassed. "Look," he whispered to Gandalf, "How many times do I have to tell you? This is a parody. You don't COPY what's been done in movies, you spoof them slightly, okay? There are certain rules that one must abide by to successfully parody a movie. Rule number one: You never go overboard. Rule number two..."

"Ahem," Hermione politely coughed, interrupting them. "Weren't you in the middle of something?"

"Oh yeah," said Legolas, regaining his composure. He looked at his crew behind him. "Ready guys?"

"Yeah!" cheered Gandalf, Frodo, Gollum, Aragorn and Galadriel enthusiastically.

"I said...BRRR! It's cold in here! There must be some–"

"Oh, I'm glad I'm not the only one," Ron spoke up, "I'm freezing! You'd think they'd put on a couple of fires or something..."

"Er...if you don't mind, we're in the middle of something," said Frodo nastily. Ron flushed.

"As we were saying," said Legolas. "BRRR! It's cold in here! There must be some Lord-of-the-rings-cast in the atmosphere!"

"Oh awesome! Oh wow! Like totally freak us out I mean right on! Cos as part of the award-winning-Harry-Potter-franchise, we are surely number one!" cried the Harry Potter group.

"That's alright! That's okay! You're gonna pump our gas someday!" jeered the Lord of the Rings cast.

"You put the itches in bitches!" snapped the Harry Potter group.

"You put the oozers into Losers!" retaliated the Lord of the rings group.

"You put the appy anchise into crappy franchise!"

"You put the overdone movies into overdone movies!"

"...That doesn't even make sense!" Harry pointed out and the Harry Potter group laughed.

"Yeah well..." stammered Legolas, "Yeah well, er...your mama!"

There was a stunned silence that followed this statement. Legolas looked pleased.

"M-A-M-A we know how you got that way, your mama! Hey, hey, your mama!"

The rest of the Lord of the rings group joined in enthusiastically.

"P-A-P-A one look at you and he ran away, your papa! Hey, hey, your papa! V-O-L-D-I-E you're scared of a man with such a stupid name, Voldie! Oh please! Voldie!"

The group shivered at the sound of the dark lords name and stumbled out of the house, the jeers of the lord of the rings crew still ringing in their ears.

"We better go," mumbled Draco as they walked home. "We've got prom tomorrow..."

"PROM?!" the others asked stupidly.

"Well, yeah," said Draco. "There has to be a prom scene in this story, I mean come on, prom scenes have the most potential to spoof. You really should have listened to Legolas you know, there are certain rules that you have to follow to successfully parody movies..."

Lol, I didn't know how to end it, so I ended it like that, and yeah, there will be a prom scene in the next chapter lol. I've never saw or read Lord of the Rings, and had to get the names off of a website, that's how clueless I was to the franchise, so if there's anything wrong about how I depicted them, well, you know why lol. Hope you enjoyed the chapter, from Jordan xxx. Please review! Oh and about the Madonna thing – don't ask! I don't even know why I put her in the story lol.