Being Harry Potter

Harry woke up the next morning with a headache, a really bad one at that. He itched his head and got up, something didn't smell right.

"Harry!" Harry jumped back as Felan popped up from under the bed, Fi followed him.

"Your reflexes aren't as sharp, and you couldn't even smell us right." Fi chastised. "You're spiraling downwards, Harry..." she whispered. Harry shushed them and gestured to his sleeping roommates.

"They're dead asleep, won't be awake for a while." Felan said.

"Trust me, we checked," Fi said.

"Did you get your necklace?" Felan asked. "It's right here on your trunk, thought you might like it back," he pointed to the trunk where the necklace was.

"How'd you get up here?" Harry asked.

"Dumbledore sent us an owl, long story." Felan said.

"We climbed up the walls, did you know there's porches and stuff jutting out that you can just scale?" Fi asked.

"Have you seen any ghosts yet?" Felan asked.

"Just Nearly Headless Nick," Harry said.

"Nearly Headless? How can you be nearly headless?" Fi asked.

"Oh it's very simple," Harry said. "You just get a very dull axe and keep whacking until--"

"Harry?" someone whispered. Harry turned around to see Ron half awake, and looking at Harry. "Who're you talking to?" Harry turned back around, but Felan and Fi weren't there.

"No one," Harry said, "just sleep...talking," he said, realizing exactly how stupid that sounded coming from him.

"Oh," Ron said. Harry checked under his bed but no sign of Felan or Fi. Ron got up and rubbed his eyes, he walked out of the room to-- Harry presumed-- go to the bathroom. Felan and Fi crawled out from under the bed. Felan looked up.

"You have very high cielings here you know," Felan said.

"Anything higher than five feet is just wasted space," Fi said.

"Who's your friend?" Felan asked.

"That's Ron Weasley, I met him on the train." Harry said. Fi muttered something that sounded like it had the word 'Weasley' in it.

"What was that?" Felan asked. Fi shook her head.

"Nothing," she said, "just, it reminded me of weasels and weasels are unlucky...where I come from..." she finished, watching Harry and Felan's incredulous expressions. "Go about your own business, will you?"

"We've got to get going," Felan said, "Dumbledore's note told us be out at exactly six in the morning, and according to my wolfy-senses, it's almost six." he said.

"Can't we stay?" Fi whined, Felan shook his head.

"Dumbledore won't let us come back then!" Felan said. Fi pouted and looked towards Harry.

"Oh yeah, we were supposed to give you this," Fi said, pulling a note out of her pouch. All of the Fianna girls carried a brown leather pouch on their belt, instead of a knife, and it was a continuous mystery to the boys how they managed to fit everything under the sun inside of those pouches (Harry once saw Marlaina pull out a rat carcass from her pouch). Fi gave the note to Harry. "Dumbledore also sent it to us, along with," she pulled a capped vial out of the pouch, "this," she handed it to Harry.

"It's all in the note about it, and on our private tour of the grounds--" Felan was cut off.

"You mean illegal tour of the grounds?" Harry asked.

"Yeah, that," Felan said. "Anyways, on our tour of the grounds we found the Whomping Willow that's referred to in the note, and the knot really does work." he said.

"Whomping Willow?" Harry asked. "Where's that?" Felan grabbed Harry's forearm and led him to the open window.

"See over there?" he asked, "It's right over there only farther," Harry focused his vision and indeed saw a moving tree.

"That's weird," he said.

"Harry! You should come back soon, we're learning how to change into chronos, homid and lupine at will," Fi said, walking over to the window.

"At will?" Harry asked.

"Well, technically yeah. Only on full moons we're still having to change into chronos," Felan said. "It's really fun, and today we're going to be practicing centering it on only one part, like toenails or hair or something," he added.

"Hurts just a tiny bit," Fi said. "And then of course yesterday started our "Mating Education"," she said with a disgusted look.

"Mating Education?" Harry asked, a rogue smile on his face. "I feel like doing my happy dance right now," he said.

"Go ahead, sing a happy song." Felan said.

"And what song would that be? I May Be A Complete Wanker But I've Got An Enormous Broom Shoved Up My--"

"Fi!" Harry hissed. "Where'd you learn language like that?" he asked.

"The Get of Fenris cliaths came yesterday," Felan said. "She's been fraternizing with them since they came," he said. "She's especially amorous of one named Anthony, he's quite a looker if I do say so myself," Felan said the last part in a girly voice.

"Shut up, Rabbit-boy,"

"You shut up, Rotten-fish girl!" Felan said. Fi held up a fist as if she were about to punch him, but something rustled and all three of them turned around.

"Anyways, a thousand blessings from Gaia to you, Harry," Fi hugged him and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Yeah, about time we get going. We've still got to get there before Anthony wakes up," Fi stuck her tongue out at him.

"I am not amorous of Anthony," she said.

"Oh no, your in love," Felan taunted.

"How old is Anthony?" Harry asked.

"He just passed his Rite of Passage during the summer, he's still twelve." Fi said.

"That's at least a year older than you, flower-bit," Felan said.

"Shut up, Felan," Fi growled.

"Obviously languishing," Felan said, a wide smile on his face as he sat on the windowsill of the currently open window. Fi turned red and pushed him off.

"Fi!" Harry whispered.

"It's okay, there aren't any rocks down there, trust me." Fi said. She stood on the sill and stepped off. "Bye Harry!" she whispered as she dropped down.

---------------------------------

"That's him?"

"Yeah, next to the tall kid,"

"With the glasses?"

"Did you see the scar?"

Harry was really getting annoyed by the whispering that followed him. People pointed from across the hall at him, standing on tiptoe to get a good look. He really wished they would stop so he could find his classes. When he finally got to the classrooms, Harry learned he had to do a lot more than wave his wand around and say a few words. You had to...study. Every Wednsday, at midnight, they had to study the night skies through their telescopes and learn the names of the stars and movements of the planets. Three times a week they went to the greenhouses on the other side of the castle for Herbology, where they had to take care of plants and fungy and learn what they were used for. Then they also had History of Magic,by far the most boring class, and the only one taught by a ghost. Professor Binns droned on as the kids scribbled notes, occasionally falling asleep.

Professor Flitwick was a tiny little person, who stood on a pile of books to see over the desk. When the class first started, he took roll call and when he reached Harry's name, he squeaked and fell out of sight. Professor McGonagall was a very cross teacher, who told her students the rules the moment they stepped into her Transfiguration class. After they wrote many notes, they started practicing turning matches into needles. At the end, only Hermione Granger had changed the match at all.

Professor Quirrell was perhaps the strangest, his classroom and he smelled strange and the class itself was a bit of a joke.

On Friday, Double Potions seemed to be the worst thing that had happened to him so far. The class took place in the dungeons, (where it was the coldest) and it would have been creepy even without the animals floating in jars. Like Professor McGonagall, Snape could keep a class silent without an effort.

"There is little wand-waving, so many of you will hardly believe this is magic. I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, and even put a stopper in death..." Harry recorded all of this so he could tell Felan when he came next time.

"Potter!" Harry's head jerked up and he looked at Snape. "What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?" Harry thought for a moment.

A Orange smoothie? he thought idly.

"Hm..give up?" Snape asked.

"An orange smoothie?" Harry suddenly burst. Several kids laughed, but Snape didn't seem amused.

"So, Harry Potter is not only a celebrity, but a comedian also?" Snape asked, raising an eyebrow. Several Slytherins sniggered. "Let's try again, where would you look if I told you to find me a bezoar?" Hermione raised her hand in the air until Harry was quite sure it would snap off and hit the ground. Harry wasn't quite sure he knew what a bezoar was, but he could at least guess.

"Webster's Dictionary?" Harry asked innocently. Snape ignored him.

"What is the difference, Potter, between monkshood and wolfsbane?" Snape asked. Hermione stood up and reached her hand up to the cieling.

Ooh! I know this one! I know this one! Harry thought frantically, he'd learned about Wolfsbane last year. Monkshood...monkshood...let's see...Dymphna told me not to go near the bottle marked "aconite" in that one weird face-paint because it was the same as monkshood... then I asked Felan's mum about it and she said that monkshood was actually the same as...

"Wolfsbane is the same plant as monkshood and also goes by the name of aconite?" Harry asked. This seemed to make Snape even angrier than before, he couldn't look more angry if he had smoke pouring from his ears.

"Sit down," Hermione plopped back into her seat. "Well, why aren't you all writing this down?" Everyone suddenly started looking for quills and parchment, over the noise, Snape said, "And five points will be taken for your cheek, Potter." Things didn't go well during the whole lesson. Snape had all of the students in pairs and set them to mixing a potion to cure boils. He walked around, watching them crush snake fangs and weigh dried nettles, yelling at almost everyone but Malfoy, whom he liked. At the end of the lesson, everyone had learned not to put the porcupine quills in before taking the potion off of the fire (a personal lesson courtesy of Neville and Seamus).

At five to three, Harry walked into the library and sat down at one of the tables. No one else (save the librarian, Madame Pince) seemed to be in there at the moment, so it would be a perfect time to start writing his-- ahem-- "angry letter". He got out a piece of parchment, the pocket dictionary that Dymphna had insisted on buying him, a quill and an ink bottle; Harry put his glasses aside and began writing.

Dear Dymphna, he immediately crossed that out. She would laugh at any sort of formal beginning. Harry started over.

Dymphna,

I'll start with the salutations. Greetings, how are you? I'm fine. My first week at Hogwarts has been a moderate success. Now onto the real subject of the letter.

He thought about how to put this.

You said you were going to tell me why I was a "hero" (as you so eloquently put it) when we got to the shopping center. But when we arrived at the mall, you seemed to have forgotten. I would like to know the reason that I am a "hero", send your response with Hedwig (the owl).

Gaia's Blessings,

Harry.

By the way, say hello to Katerina for me, and that friend of yours that liked Serial Passions.

PS, I've been getting headaches ever since I started wearing the new glasses for longer periods of time, is this normal?

That was a good letter, not very angry, but very well worded. Harry put everything back into his bag and debated with himself on whether to put the glasses back on. Common sense finally won, and he stuck the glasses in his bag. He walked up to the Owlery on the roof and sent the letter with Hedwig, then walked back down to his dormitory.

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A/N: Not my best work, still. But I had some fun writing this chapter. Kusos (Slaith: She means "Kudos) to me for having fun! Yay!

In the next chapter: Dymphna's response, the full moon, flying lessons, and a mountain troll in...Being The Boy-Who-Lived (which if you think about it is exactly the same as Being Harry Potter).

And to finish this author's note off, I'm making a ficlet that's connected in one way to this chapter. It's about Maggie and Serial Passions. Please read it an review! (it's going to be on FF soon so check out my bio for it) I'm hoping it's going to be a funny one.

THE END OF NOTE

KUSOS (Slaith: Once again, she means "kudos") TO ALL REVIEWERS!!

I'm still hoping for thirty reviews! crosses fingers