Untitled As of Yet
By Usabelle
AN: Okey dokey. -cracks knuckles and takes a seat in front of the computer determinedly- Time for Chapter Eleven! Yay! This is the chapter that all my little loose ends in the story have been leading up to. I've beaten myself up over and over again trying to think of a way to tie everything together and here it is. I hope it works. I also want to address the fact that there have been a lot of questions surrounding Ann's "death." Yes, she had a funeral, but I didn't mention anything about a casket, procession, etc. I kept it vague for a reason. See what goes on in my twisted little mind? I'd also like to commend readers who figured out that Darien was working for the FBI. Good job. But I digress. So before I get all teary eyed, here is the last chapter of Untitled As of Yet. I hope you enjoy it.
Standard Disclaimers Apply.
Chapter Eleven: Darien's Past
"No, I'm not okay," Serena whispered, looking up at him through watery eyes.
He stared at her, concern etching the tired planes of his face.
She didn't even know how to begin to explain how she felt. "It's just that... that I'm so alone... and when I saw Raye and Chad and little Sabrina, I thought..." she paused, drawing in a shuddering breath. "I realized that I will never be lucky enough to have that."
Darien gazed down at her with an expression akin to understanding but she kept on, determined on telling him exactly how she felt for once.
Stray tears escaped her eyes unheeded as she kept prattling, not even fully in control of the words that slipped from her mouth. "I know that I shouldn't feel that way and I'm happy for them... I really am... but I'll never feel the joy that they feel because I love you and everything's so messed up... and I'll always be alone," In the midst of her tearful lamentation, she wasn't even aware of what she'd confessed.
Darien's eyes became large as saucers at her nearly hidden proclamation. Striding forward, he lightly nudged her backward and into her apartment. He gently closed the door behind him and she gazed at him questioningly.
When she moved to speak again, he put a finger to her lips and gave an affectionate, watery smile. "We need to talk," he whispered, tugging on her limp hand and leading her toward the couch in the dimly lit living room.
"I know," she conceded quietly. She blushed at the state of disarray her apartment was in. "Can I get you anything? Coffee? I'm afraid that I wasn't expecting anyone..."
He stared at her exasperatedly, disbelievingly. "Are you kidding me? I've finally decided to come clean with everything and you ask me if I want coffee first?" At her shock and slight withdrawal, his eyes softened. "Be selfish for once, Serena. You deserve it." He came to sit on the couch and she hesitantly followed. "You deserve to know the truth."
At his guilty words, Serena came to her senses. "I do deserve the truth. You've lied to me so many times, Darien. I've been ridiculously tolerant and I won't stand to be lied to again."
Darien gave a wary, lopsided grin. "You're not going to make this easy, are you?"
"You never made it easy for me," she shot back, ice on the edges of her comment.
He sighed. She was right. "I don't even know where to begin..."
"Start at the beginning, Darien," she whispered, bringing her knees up to her chest.
Blowing out a breath, he leaned back on the pillows. "I... I don't remember much from my childhood... I was always lonely, but you know about that," he glanced over at her and she nodded, resting her chin on her knees.
"When I was by myself at night in the orphanage, I'd cry because I had this one memory of my mother... her face would start to blur in my mind and it scared me. I was scared that I'd forget her altogether and then I wouldn't have anything left."
He turned to her and found a sympathetic gaze looking back at him. "Remember when I told you about how thunder is just angels bowling?"
She nodded, a warm smile forming on her lips. "Of course."
"My mother told me that," he uttered quietly, looking away.
"Oh Darien, I didn't know..." Serena whispered. Suddenly she felt extremely gifted to have been let in on one of Darien's most private memories.
"Thank you for sharing that with me," she murmured in awe. "It must have been hard."
An ironic smile graced his handsome features. "Actually, you were the first one that didn't laugh at me when I said it. All of the workers at the orphanage thought it was stupid and assured me that it wasn't the case. The kids... they thought I was strange because I'd go and sit outside on rainy days with a smile on my face..."
FLASHBACK
A six-year-old Darien jumped at the sound of thunder in the arts and crafts room. The finger painting that he'd been working on was immediately forgotten as his round blue eyes lit up at the sound. Racing out of the room, Darien dashed to the playground as fast as his legs could carry him.
He failed to notice the teacher yelling after him, absorbed in the sound of the rain. The fact that he was getting completely soaked eluded him; a sweet, genuine smile lit up the usually somber boy's face.
Lightning crackled in blue-gray sky and his grin widened. Just a few more seconds and... BOOM! Thunder tore through the air and he closed his eyes, remembering his mother's soft words.
The tall, raven-haired woman knelt beside his bed. A storm raged outside, eliciting tears from him.
"Mommy!" he cried, "I'm scared!"
Gently smiling, the woman tucked him into his blankets a bit further. "There's nothing to be afraid of, Darien."
"God must be really mad to make that much noise," his tiny voice whispered from underneath the blankets.
She shook her head and smiled. Her calm voice began to assuage his fears slightly as a gentle hand stroked the side of his face. "He's not mad at all, sweetie. Every time you hear thunder, that the loud sound is actually the sound of angels bowling."
"Really?"
She nodded, her kind blue eyes looking down at him warmly. "The angels are having a party in heaven, so you should smile whenever you hear it."
The tiniest of smiles appeared on his face. "Thank you, Mommy."
"You're welcome, Darien. Goodnight," she whispered, exciting his room.
"Night, Mommy," he whispered in return, and when the loud crack of thunder rang through he room, a smile appeared on his face.
"Darien! Darien!" A grating voice shook him out of his memory.
Little Darien turned to find his teacher staring down at him in anger under a large black umbrella. He gave a bright smile. "It's thundering, Miss Crabtree! It's thundering!" he cried joyfully, jumping around excitedly.
The teacher rolled her eyes. "I know. You need to be inside, young man. It's not safe."
He stared up at her disbelievingly. "Yes it is! Thunder is just angels bowling!"
"Where did you hear something as stupid as that?"
His small face scrunched up in anger. "My mother!"
She glared at him. "You don't remember your mother. And your idiotic story is completely untrue." Yanking his arm, she dragged him back to the building. "Now stop making up these stories and go back to art class."
As she walked away, his eyes began to tear. "I'm not making it up! It IS true! My mommy wouldn't lie to me!" he yelled after her.
The sound of laughter at his back caused him to turn and face the children in his class. An older boy stared down at him mockingly. "Your mommy's dead and you made that story up. Maybe that's why they died- so they wouldn't have to be around their stupid son!" The class erupted in laughter and Darien began to cry.
END FLASHBACK
Serena's eyes glazed over at Darien's story. "Oh Darien..."
"After that, I didn't tell anyone about it... until you." His eyes were watery and her heart nearly broke at the sight.
"Thank you," she whispered gratefully, placing a hand over his own. At her touch, he swallowed and she noticed that he was just barely suppressing tears. "I never thought you'd be a crier," she said pensively.
He merely stared at her.
"I always thought that you were the strong, silent type. When we were teenagers, I always tried to suppress my tears when we fought. I wanted to act grown up for you," she smirked. "Being grown-up meant showing no emotion- I didn't think you cared. At least that's what I thought when I met you..." She looked down, "I didn't know you as well as I thought."
"You don't know what went on... what a monster I was..." he muttered painfully, avoiding her eyes.
Suddenly she gripped his hands and shook her head in a furious motion. "You're not like them, Darien. Maybe you were involved with their dealings, but you're not like them!"
"You really think so?" He asked it so uncertainly that she nearly melted.
She nodded reassuringly and paused for a moment before speaking. "How did you get involved with Beryl's father in the first place?"
He smirked. "I needed a job the summer of my senior year. I'd turned eighteen and was living on my own. I needed money. It paid pretty well... and Vandergrift was very generous. Especially after Beryl decided she liked me."
A look of disgust crossed her face yet she said nothing.
"You're upset," he whispered.
"You're perceptive," she responded sarcastically.
They sat in silence for a moment before Darien uttered two small, simple words. "I'm sorry..."
Her head whipped around to face him. "For what?"
He swallowed conspicuously and took in a shaky breath before speaking. "For treating you like shit! For lying to you... making you think I didn't want you... I always wanted you, Serena."
She sat in silence for a moment. Was he really sorry? "Why?" she whispered confusedly, eyeing him uncertainly.
"Why what?"
"Why did you lie to me? Why did you cheat on me? Why did you humiliate me?"
He sighed. "It's a long story..."
"I've got time," she said flatly, staring him down.
An uncertain look crossed his remorseful features. "You want to know the truth?"
"You know I do."
He nodded. "If you really want to know... I liked you when we were teenagers. A lot. When you... uh... asked me out, it made things so much easier for me because I felt the same way about you. Remember when I told you that I dumped you because I wanted to be accepted?"
"How could I forget?" she retorted dryly, settling back on the couch.
His features were once again dominated by remorse. "That wasn't what happened."
FLASHBACK
She was meeting him at the party. He didn't even want to go in the first place... he just knew that Beryl would make trouble. It wasn't like he could do anything about it; Mr. Vandergrift was giving him a free ride at Harvard all the way through law school and if he did anything to displease daddy's little princess, his free ride would be shot.
Nodding at a teammate in greeting, he entered the nearly empty arcade. He was twenty minutes early, since he wanted to talk to Andrew and Beryl-proof the area. If Beryl came in contact with Serena, he knew that it would be a disaster. Taking a seat at a booth, he looked around for Andrew, but to no avail. Someone handed him a cup of punch and after staring at the red liquid for a moment, he wrinkled his nose in disgust. There was more vodka than punch in the cup. Sighing, he set the cup down and waited, hoping that Serena would arrive before Beryl.
Suddenly, someone slid in next to him, running a perfectly manicured hand up his arm. He immediately tensed. It wasn't Serena. She wouldn't have done anything that forward.
He cringed as the person next to him slithered in closer. "Hello, darling," she purred. Damn. It was Beryl.
Not even turning around to face her, he kept his voice cold. "Hello Beryl."
"Aren't you happy to see me, baby?" she asked sweetly, resting her head on his shoulder.
"Not especially," he retorted coldly, shrugging her off.
"It's that little girl, isn't it?"
He swallowed nervously. "I don't know what you're talking about."
She pouted. "Come on, Darien! She's that ugly little freshman with the tragic little hairdo. What's her name? Sienna? Sarah?"
Frowning, he eyed her warily. "Serena. Her name is Serena."
"So it is true then? Is she really your girlfriend? Because I could see where someone as pathetic as that would assume too much."
He stared at the cup of punch on the table. "We're together," he confessed quietly, praying that Beryl would leave them alone.
The sound of obnoxious laughter filled the room and he cringed. "Oh Darien, you can't be serious! She's a little girl! An ugly little girl!"
"No she's not," he ground out angrily, barely holding his temper in check.
She placed a hand on his knee and he nearly jumped. "But Darien, she can't please you like I can, darling..."
He jerked away from her, disgusted. "Leave me alone."
"You're not making me happy, Darien," she pouted, crossing her arms.
"Well the comments you're making about my girlfriend aren't making me happy either," he retorted tightly, glaring at her.
Tilting her head to the side, she stared at him for a moment. "You know, I don't think that daddy would be happy with how you're treating me. I might have to chat with him about it."
"You wouldn't dare."
A sly smile crossed her features. "Oh, I would. I always get what I want, darling, and I want you. If daddy found out about tonight, he might be tempted to revoke your scholarship."
His eyes widened but he said nothing.
"Oh no, if that happened, then you wouldn't be able to afford college, would you?" She spoke with a false innocence that made him sick. "Then you'd never be able to go to law school and you'd end up lower-middle-class! That would be terrible!" she exclaimed dramatically.
He clenched his teeth and tried with all his might not to scream at her. "I'd find a way."
She smiled at his words. "Would you? Harvard is very expensive, darling. Even if you did get some other scholarships, it would never be enough. And you'd have to work full time to pay for the tuition... books... the dorm... your grades would suffer! It would never work, sweetheart. You'd end up as a janitor!"
Taking in a deep breath, he began to feel very nervous. She was right. He would never be able to afford law school without her father. "So? I don't have to be a lawyer." Never mind the fact that he'd wanted to go to Harvard for law since he was ten.
"Little Sienna wouldn't be very impressed with a janitor, would she? How would you provide for all of your little rugrats once you're married and live in your one bedroom apartment? Think about it, Darien. No one wants to be with a failure."
He swallowed. "She doesn't care about stuff like that."
She smiled sweetly and it disturbed him. "Everyone wants to be taken care of. Let's face it... she's not too bright- she probably won't even get into college. I can see it now... the two of you working for minimum wage while your five children are home all alone... growing up to be failures just like their parents."
"Shut up! Just shut up!" he screamed, glaring at her more coldly than he'd done to anyone in his entire life.
Beryl reeled back in shock before the sly smile returned to her face. "That wasn't very nice, Darien. I think I will tell Daddy."
Suddenly all of the fire left him and dread took its place. "No..."
"Unless..."
He was beginning to feel trapped. Panic rose in him as her disturbing smile widened.
"You dump Serena," she finished slyly.
Responding immediately, his glare returned. "No," he said firmly, attempting to stare her down.
She shook her head at him reproachfully. "I don't think you understand, darling. You have to choose. Your dreams... or your girlfriend."
Doubt was beginning to fill him. "No..." he whispered painfully, staring helplessly ahead.
"Will she want a failure? Don't you want to be able to provide for her in the future? How will you do that without Harvard?"
He was speechless. Somehow her twisted words were beginning to make sense.
"You're too smart to throw your life away, Darien. She'll understand... she's young! You're still in high school! You've got too much ahead of you to throw your life away!" she coaxed, resting a hand on his tense shoulder.
She was young... would she understand? Would she go back to him when he was rich and successful? She was young... she'd understand. Wouldn't she? His distorted rationalizations were beginning to make sense. She'd bounce back. She was just a kid... and this was his future. When he was successful, he'd go back to her. Then he'd be able to impress her... provide for her like he wanted to.
He sighed. "I don't know..."
She smiled triumphantly, fully aware that she was getting through to him. "It's just a high school fling, sweetheart. How long have you been together? A week? Think of your career Darien. How long have you wanted to be a lawyer? Seven or eight years? Don't waste your potential on a relationship that won't last."
But it wasn't a fling to him... he'd never felt like that with anyone... he'd been alone for so long...
"Besides, you have me," she said sweetly, smiling up at him.
Something inside of him broke as he made up his mind. "Fine... I'll break it off with her."
As if on cue, the girl in question stepped hesitantly into the arcade. Beryl grinned. "You can do it right now."
His breath caught as he saw Serena walk through the sliding doors, eyes full of worry, excitement, and something else he couldn't name. Suddenly it felt as though a thousand-pound weight had crushed his heart. He couldn't do it. "Not here... I can't humiliate her like that."
"But Darien, that's the only way it will sink in! Clingy people like her don't need subtle hints... they need to be shown that it's over. And you know how slow she is..."
Bile rose up in his throat at the thought of what he was about to do. "Please... let me do it somewhere private."
She shook her head and grinned evilly. "No. You have to do it here. You have to humiliate her... or there's no deal." To prove her point, she slipped her cell phone out of her purse. "Just one call to Daddy..."
He swallowed hard and looked away from the innocent young girl heading towards them. "I'll do it."
END FLASHBACK
"Oh my God..." Serena whispered, staring at Darien in disbelief.
"I'm sorry..." he cried miserably, his figure slumped in defeat.
She closed her eyes for a moment and tried to collect her thoughts. Was this explanation better or worse than the first one? He gave her up for his dream... could she really resent him for that? Remembering the humiliation she went through, she mentally nodded. Yes. Yes she could.
Her eyes fell on his defeated form and she nearly crumbled. "I'm not sure what to say to that," she confessed hoarsely, waiting for his reply.
"I... I wanted so badly to impress you," he smiled bitterly, "to provide for you... I know it's a dumb excuse, but I felt that I couldn't do that if I didn't go to Harvard."
She stared at him sorrowfully. "I wouldn't have cared if you were the garbage man."
His dejected gaze fell upon her once again. "I know. I knew it back then, but I wanted to go so badly..."
Coldness rushed over her and she withdrew from him even further. Tears filled her eyes at the thought of her holding him back. "I understand. You did the right thing, well, choosing college over me. You just didn't have to do it the way that you did, you know?"
He nodded, his perfect features cloaked in misery.
"It's just that... you seemed so... unaffected by what you did. Like you didn't care that you were hurting me. I guess that's what bothered me the most... that you took it back," she finished despondently, staring at her shaking hands.
"I didn't!" he exclaimed suddenly, and her eyes widened. "I did, but... I didn't mean it. For God's sake, Serena, I was in love with you! You don't even understand what happened to me..."
FLASHBACK
Darien stood numbly as he watched the one person he ever cared about tear out of the room and out of his life. Tears pricked the back of his eyes as his classmates cheered him on. What the hell were they cheering for? He'd just humiliated the love of his life and they were congratulating him. Glancing over to Beryl who was standing triumphantly next to him, his stomach lurched. What had he done?
Beryl squeezed him arm and he turned slightly. "Oh, Darien, that was hilarious! The look on her face!" she laughed obnoxiously, leaning on him.
Suddenly horrified, Darien wrenched him arm from her grasp. Stalking away, he grabbed a cup of punch from a table and quickly downed it. Grabbing another, he tried to block the past few minutes from his mind.
Lost in the unfamiliar buzz of the alcohol, he barely felt a teammate come up and slap him on the back. "Hey buddy, slow down. I've never seen anyone drink that many as fast as you."
Darien looked down to find a pile of crumpled cups on the table in front of him. He smirked, "Got anything stronger?"
The teenager smiled slyly, leaving the room and return a few minutes later with a bottle in hand. Looking around suspiciously, he covertly handed the bottle over to Darien. "This stuff will make you go blind. Just don't tell anyone I gave it to you," he whispered.
Nodding, Darien slipped the bottle under his jacket and quickly exited the arcade, albeit a bit unsteadily. He was feeling a bit tipsy from the alcohol he'd consumed and walked blindly to his apartment building, which was thankfully close to the arcade. Leaning against the wall of the elevator for support, he struggled to read the slightly blurry words on the bottle. After a few minutes, he gave up when the elevator bell dinged.
Stumbling into his apartment, he haphazardly turned on a light and sat down. Staring at the bottle in his hand, he tried to remember why he was drinking it in the first place. Suddenly, he remembered. Serena. At that point, he decided he wasn't drunk enough.
Opening the bottle, he poured some of the amber liquid into a glass and took an experimental sip. It burned down his throat and he gasped as it lit a fire in the pit of his stomach. But he didn't care how horrible it tasted... it made him forget.
END FLASHBACK
He swallowed, avoiding her eyes. "It didn't stop there. I liked the way it made me feel... it made me numb..." he whispered shakily.
"What happened after that?" she asked quietly, almost afraid to find out.
Smiling bitterly, he turned away. "My life became hell."
FLASHBACK
He was at a party. He knew that he shouldn't be drinking. First of all, he was underage. The last thing he needed was to be arrested. He'd already been caught twice in the past month. Second, he had a huge Microeconomics exam the next day. Sighing, he leaned against a wall and watched the crowd dancing... laughing... talking... It was becoming increasingly harder to be social without a few shots in him.
A scantily clad girl from one of his classes smiled flirtatiously at him and at that moment, he decided that he definitely needed a drink. Every time a girl smiled at him, flirted with him, he'd see her... He'd see her eyes full of tears as he humiliated her... and he'd be so sick with guilt that he'd want to wretch.
Moving towards the bar, his conscience plagued him but he quickly squashed it down. He needed to forget... and that was the only thing that could do it.
The next morning...
Light poured through a window and he groaned. His stomach lurched and his eyes immediately flew open. Groaning, he ran to the bathroom as fast as possible and promptly emptied the contents of his stomach.
When he was finished, he wiped his mouth with a tissue and froze when he noticed blood. Maybe he had been drinking a bit too much lately...
Walking back into his dorm room, he winced when he found a lacy pair of underwear in his bed. How many times had he done this when he was drunk? Trying to find a replacement for her obviously wasn't working. How many times had he screwed up now?
Glancing over at his alarm clock, he panicked when he realized that he was already twenty minutes late for Microeconomics. Throwing on some clothes, he dashed out of the dorms and ran the whole way to his class. When he arrived, his professor simply shook his head at him and handed him the test. Muttering an apology, Darien made his way to his seat and stared at the paper in front of him. Taking an exam with a hangover was not going to be fun.
Later that afternoon, Darien was called down to the dean's office. He knew that his grades were slipping, but were they really that bad? Thinking back to the exam he took hours before, he nodded. They were terrible.
Nervously entering the office, he was ushered in right away and greeted by a very stern dean of students.
"Hello Darien," the older man greeted coldly, motioning for him to have a seat in the leather chair in front of his desk.
"Good afternoon, Mr. Holt," Darien put forth nervously.
The man sighed. "Do you know why I called you in here today?" he asked tiredly.
He had a pretty good idea. "No, sir," he lied, staring down at his shaking hands.
"Your grades have been slipping, Darien."
He nodded, a blush staining his cheeks. "I know."
"Your attendance is shotty as best and you've been caught twice in the past thirty days for underage drinking."
Darien swallowed nervously. "Yes, sir."
"The exam you took this morning... how do you think you did?"
"Poorly?"
The man smiled coldly. "Correct. You scored a thirty on the exam. Are you aware that the class average on that test was an eighty-nine?"
Darien bit his lip, unsure of how to respond. "I'm sorry, sir."
The dean looked at him exasperatedly. "Well, would you like to explain your lackluster performance?"
"Um... I... haven't been sleeping well lately."
"Would that be because you've been partying every night, Mr. Shields?"
Darien's eyes widened. "Perhaps."
"Or maybe it was because you were out drinking with your buddies."
Darien looked away.
"Word travels fast on campus, Mr. Shields. You've already earned yourself quite a reputation here... and you're only a sophomore."
"I'm aware of that, sir," Darien whispered guiltily.
The older man's gray eyes narrowed. "Give me one good reason why we shouldn't kick you out of this institution, Mr. Shields."
Darien paused, taken aback. He never thought that his drinking and partying would get him kicked out... Or maybe he did, but he was too drunk to do anything about it. He sighed. The man was right. He was a waste product. "I can't, sir," he said dejectedly, hanging his head in shame.
"But I can." Another voice entered the conversation and Darien's head shot up. It was Vandergrift. The shrewd-looking man nodded at them and took a seat next to Darien. "This young man has a bright future ahead of him... he just hasn't chosen to utilize his gifts."
The dean glared at him. "And that is precisely why we are considering terminating his education here."
Mr. Vandergrift smiled. "That wouldn't be wise. Mr. Shields has the potential to be Attorney General if he wanted to."
"All of our students are gifted, Mr. Vandergrift. The only way that Darien has set himself apart is through his unruly behavior."
Vandergrift nodded at the man's words. "Darien has gotten himself into trouble. His problem with alcohol is affecting his schoolwork and I agree that this behavior must stop."
Darien's face burned a brilliant shade of red. Who the hell did the man think he was? His father? And why were they talking about him as though he wasn't even there?
The dean stared at him curiously. "Then what do you propose we do, Mr. Vandergrift? As of now, Mr. Shields is no asset to our institution."
"I propose that Darien stays at a rehabilitation clinic until his problem is solved. At that time, he will return to his classes and I will supplement any material that he has missed. He will work part time at one of my companies so that we can make sure that he isn't getting into trouble and so that he gains experience in the work environment."
The elderly man sputtered at Vandergrift's suggestion. "Something like this has never been done before!"
Mr. Vandergrift smiled coldly. "Well, you've never had a student like Darien before, have you? I am an extremely generous man, Mr. Holt. I give several thousands of dollars to this institution every year and those numbers could greatly increase if you accept my proposal. But if you don't... Wouldn't it be a shame if those funds didn't go to the school anymore?"
Holt's eyes widened. "I... I think we can work something out..."
Another conniving smile graced Mr. Vandergrift's face. "Excellent. Now, if you'll allow me a moment to speak with my protégé?"
Dollar signs could nearly be seen in Mr. Holt's eyes. "Of course, Mr. Vandergrift." With that, the man exited the room, leaving Darien to face Vandergrift's wrath.
Darien stared at the older man in shock. "Thank you, Mr. Vandergrift... I appreciate what you're doing for me."
Mr. Vandergrift turned to face Darien and smirked. "I am not a philanthropist, Darien. Every 'good deed' I do has a price."
His brow furrowed in confusion. "Excuse me?"
"You've wasted two years worth of tuition and I refuse to squander any more money. After rehab, you will return dry as the Sahara desert, understood? You will work for me and will handle all of my legal matters from the time you graduate in exchange for my help."
"Legal matters?"
Vandergrift smiled. "Darien, you have a lot to learn. You don't get rich by being an honest man, son. I will make you rich beyond your wildest dreams... but you have to bend the rules to get anywhere. So, do we have a deal?"
Darien didn't know what to do. He was trapped. If he said no, he had no future, but he'd be an honest man... well, as honest as he could be. But if he said yes... if he said yes he'd get help... he'd become successful... he'd be able to turn his life around completely...
"Yes sir, we do."
END FLASHBACK
Serena sat in silence. What could she say to that? He was an alcoholic! Then that must have meant... "Our first date... I offered you a drink... and you said..." she trailed off.
"I said that I wanted one but I couldn't," he finished for her, ashamed.
"And I said that you were a responsible driver..."
He smiled bitterly. "Not so responsible, huh?"
She gazed at him sadly. "Don't say that. I give you credit for going to rehab. Many people wouldn't."
Looking away, he glared into the distance. "It obviously wasn't enough. That night... that night in London... that was me."
She suddenly felt very guilty. "No Darien, that was under very bad circumstances. We were both going through difficult times," she whispered soothingly, putting a hand over his.
His jaw clenched in anger as he stood up, wrenching his hand from her grasp. "That is NO excuse! The person you saw that night was me! The real me! That screwed up failure was ME!" he screamed in self-loathing.
With his rising pitch, hers rose too. "No! That is not who you are! You are a good person and the only reason you had to resort to that is because I hurt you!"
He sighed and sat back down. "But I did it."
"And it's over," she whispered forcefully, trying to get through to him. "The past is the past. We both screwed up, Darien."
"I tried to fix it... by going to the FBI..." he stared at her sadly. "Those work emergencies... I had meetings with the feds... I had to record all of their conversations... that's why I was away so much. I tried to make it better... but it didn't work. I wanted to tell you so much..."
She nodded. "I understand. But why did it take this long for you to realize that what you were doing was wrong?"
He shrugged. "When I found out about what was going to happen to Ann, it was right around the time I was going to propose. I threatened to come forward with the information if they went through with it, but Beryl said she'd tell you everything." His head drooped in guilt and misery. "I couldn't let that happen, Serena. I knew you'd dump me... and we were on thin ice already. But I couldn't let them kill her. I fixed everything so that it looked like she'd been taken care of. So when we broke up... it was really hard."
"I'm sorry," she whispered, feeling ashamed for her petty revenge.
A smirk played on his face and he shook his head. "You have nothing to be sorry for. It was actually the fact that we got engaged that made me finally decide to come forward with everything. If we were going to be together, I couldn't have all of that on my shoulders anymore."
Frowning, Serena played with the pillow on her lap. "We really messed up, didn't we?"
His tired blue gaze swept over her. "Is it even possible to fix it? I mean, I've pretty much done every horrible deed in the book." He gazed at her searchingly when she finally made eye contact. "Do you really want that?"
A fragile, slight smile appeared on her face for the first time in a long time and she shifted so that her body faced his. She ran a hand through his jet black hair lovingly, yet their eyes never left each others'. "I want you," she confessed, "I want all of your flaws."
"Why?" he whispered, resting his forehead against hers.
"Because I love you," she whispered back, lightly brushing her lips against his in the faintest of kisses.
A blissful smile spread across his face and he caught her teasing lips with his own in a heated kiss. "I love you, too," he whispered between kisses, pulling her even closer into his warm embrace. "So much..."
The slow kisses became more fervent and soon control was running very thin for the both of them. "Darien..." she whispered, gasping for air as she rested her head in the crook of his neck.
"Marry me..." he whispered suddenly, his soft gaze penetrating all of her remaining barriers.
She placed a soft kiss on his jaw. "Yes."
He stared down at her lovingly. "Tonight."
Her eyes widened and she withdrew slightly, still within the circle of his arms. "Tonight?"
Smiling, he kissed her forehead. "I can't wait any longer... I've waited over ten years for you..."
She nodded and rested her head on his chest, sighing softly. It was so romantic... Suddenly a thought stopped her. "Where are we going to find a justice of the peace this late?"
The quirky, lopsided smile reserved only for her made its way onto his face and she grinned as well. "I know a guy who registered online..."
"But I don't even have a dress... or have my hair done... we won't have any guests..." she replied frantically, wrinkling her brow.
He put a hand on her shoulder, instantly calming her. "This is just about you and me. Do all those other things really matter? I'll marry you like you are right now... I don't care."
She smirked. "You really want to get into my pants, don't you?"
"I consider it a perk of married life," he replied easily, guiding her to her room. "Do you still have the dress?"
Nodding, she opened up her closet and began to dig through the pile of clothes. "I buried it in the corner in righteous indignation when we broke up, vowing to never look at it again. It's a good thing I didn't get the urge to burn it," she mused, pulling the large white box out from under a pile of old shoes. Opening the box, she sighed happily. "It's so pretty..." she whispered in awe, just like a little girl.
He grinned. "I don't have a tux, but this is still pretty dressy, right?" he asked, looking down at his outfit.
Black pants and a white button down shirt were absolutely fine with her. Her eyes wandered down his muscled chest, accentuated by the thin fabric. Yes... it was perfectly fine with her. She nodded in affirmation, blushing slightly. "It's perfect."
He smiled knowingly and picked up the dress box. "We'll head over to my place and pick up some stuff... is that okay?"
She nodded but then suddenly froze. "The rings! We can't get married without the rings!" she wailed.
Sighing, he took out his cell phone. "I'll take care of everything. You just get your pretty little self in the car and I'll be down in a minute."
"So organized... that's why I'm marrying you," she teased.
"It's not because of my dashing good looks?" he asked, pouting.
"I consider that a perk of married life," she said breezily, walking out the door.
An hour later...
Serena stood anxiously in Darien's guesthouse. They'd decided to get married in his gazebo and she'd refused to let him see her in her dress until the wedding. Smoothing down the intricate beading and lace on her brilliant white gown, she sighed wistfully. It was perfect. A December wedding in the middle of the night... it was oddly fitting. Everyone had pushed her to have a huge wedding that she didn't want... and now she was getting the wedding she'd always dreamed of. Just her, him, and... "Rita?"
The red-haired woman crushed her in a bear hug. "Little Serena!" she squealed. "I haven't seen you since you were... fourteen! Look how you've grown! And you're getting married... Darien talks about you all the time. I feel like I already know you so well!" the bubbly woman squealed.
"It's good to see you too," Serena smiled warmly, albeit a bit confusedly. "Not to be rude, but what are you doing here?"
Rita smiled widely. "Darien didn't tell you?" Serena shook her head. "Drew's conducting the ceremony! And I'm your witness!" She squealed excitedly.
"Oh, my friends are going to kill me..." Serena muttered.
Sighing happily, Rita helped put Serena's veil on. "Don't worry... you should be happy that it's a small wedding! When I married Andrew we had six hundred guests and I didn't even know a quarter of them. You're so lucky... it's just you and him... and us, of course," she giggled.
Serena smiled weakly. "I really didn't want a big wedding. I didn't even like the colors... yellow and orange..." she wrinkled her nose at the choices made by Mina. "The bridesmaids would have looked like candy corns!"
Rita giggled, "See, now you're getting the exact wedding that you want... and you don't even have to worry about thank you cards!"
A knock interrupted their conversation and Serena smiled nervously. "I guess this is it..."
Rita took her hand. "Don't be nervous, sweetie! He loves you, I can tell." Turning around, Rita opened the French doors and walked outside.
Serena nodded, watching Rita walk to the gazebo. "I know."
Taking a deep breath, Serena left the house and stepped out into the chilly December air. She clutched her silk wrap tighter around her and slowly made her way to the brilliantly lit gazebo that stood shining amidst the darkness. Snowflakes began to fall around her gently, giving the whole scene an ethereal look.
There he stood, shifting anxiously back and forth, like an overly excited little boy. As she made her way into the light of the gazebo, a lopsided smile appeared on his face as his ice blue eyes met hers.
Her heart skipped a beat at that smile and she found herself feeling a bit unsteady. As she walked up the short white steps, she grinned at her fiancé. However, in doing so, her foot missed the third step and she lost her balance. Seconds before she hit the ground, she felt the familiar feeling of strong arms holding her inches above the wooden platform.
A deep rumble rose up in Darien's chest as lifted her from her prone position and set her back on her feet. He was making an obvious attempt not to laugh but was failing miserably.
Her face pinkened. "Leave it to me to klutz out at my wedding," she deadpanned, straightening herself up.
An amused smile played on his face as he poked at one of the trademark buns on her head. "My Meatball Head," he quipped playfully, taking her hand so as not to prevent another accident.
"You'd think that I'd grow out of my klutziness by now. I'm just as bad as when I was a kid."
His gaze was full of love and adoration. "I wouldn't have you any other way."
"I'm about to puke." A sarcastic voice entered the conversation and both turned towards it. It was Andrew, of course, wrinkling his nose at them.
"Andrew!" Serena squealed, throwing her arms around him. "Thank you for doing this for us!"
He smiled proudly. "I had to perform a ceremony for a cousin a while back... it's no problem."
Turning back to Darien, Serena smirked. "This is your 'connection'?"
Before Darien could answer, Andrew stepped in. "We're going to start, okay? It's the middle of the night and I'm freezing my ass off."
"Thank you, reverend," Darien said dryly.
"We are gathered here today to unite this man and this woman in the bonds of holy matrimony. If anyone present can show just and legal cause why they may not be joined, let them speak now or forever hold their peace."
"Keep going," Darien urged, breaking the short silence.
"Do you, Darien Shields... haha I feel so professional..." Andrew trailed off giddily and received glares in return. "Ahem. Do you, Darien Shields, take this woman as your lawful wedded wife, to live together in the estate of matrimony? To love, honor her, comfort, and keep her in sickness and in health; forsaking all others, as long as you both shall live?"
Darien smiled. "I do," he responded firmly, not a trace of doubt in his voice.
"Good," Andrew replied with a grin. He turned to Serena. "Now you."
Serena rolled her eyes. "Way to break the romantic moment, Drew."
He ignored the comment. "Do you, Serena Tsukino, take this man as your lawful wedded husband, to live together in the estate of matrimony? To love, honor, comfort, and keep him in sickness and in health; forsaking all others, as long as you both shall live?"
Her eyes began to tear. "I do."
"Excellent." He turned to Darien. "Can I have the rings?"
Darien handed over two intricately designed golden bands, shimmering with diamonds under the lights of the gazebo.
The moment Serena caught sight of them, she took in a breath and stared in awe. "Oh Darien, they're beautiful! But, where did you get them?"
"That's for me to know," he responded proudly.
"You didn't get it through the mob or anything, right?" she asked jokingly.
"I resent those implications."
"Excuse me, I'm trying to perform a WEDDING!" Andrew interrupted, staring at them exasperatedly.
"Okay okay... I had them designed before the first wedding... as a surprise," Darien confessed.
Serena's eyes filled up. "Oh sweetie..."
"Less cooing more vowing," Andrew said sarcastically. "Dar, repeat after me. I take thee, Serena, as my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part."
"I take thee, Serena, as my wedded wife," Darien's voice began to choke up, "to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer," at this he squeezed her hands and received a smile, "in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part." His shaking hands placed the intricate wedding band on her finger, his eyes warm and filled with unshed tears.
"Now Sere, same words, change the name."
Serena smiled slightly, taking the cool golden band in her fingers. "I take thee, Darien, as my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part." The crystalline tears in her eyes spilled over as she slid the ring onto his finger.
"So, by the power invested in me by , I now pronounce you husband and wife." Andrew then turned to Darien, a wide grin on his mirthful face. "Kiss your bride!"
And so Darien did.
Fifteen minutes later, the house was empty with the exception of Mr. and Mrs. Shields. Serena sat in Darien's lap in the lounge, sipping champagne under the glow of the fireplace.
"Mrs. Shields?" Darien asked, looking down at his blushing bride.
"Yes, Mr. Shields?" Serena replied giddily, resting her head on his chest.
"What are you thinking about right now?"
"The honeymoon... where are we going to go?"
He shrugged, resting a hand on her stomach. "I was thinking maybe Rome... Paris... something like that?"
She shook her head. "Nah... too fancy. Maybe something not so far away..."
A lazy grin appeared on his handsome face. "Well then, how 'bout you, me, and my room in five minutes?"
"You're on."
END CHAPTER ELEVEN
AN: -wails- It's the end! It's the end! Well, actually, I still have an epilogue to write. I wasn't originally going to have the wedding scene, but I wanted to elaborate because I've put my poor characters through so much- I wanted to see them happy! Wow... it's been a year and Untitled is almost done... Meanwhile I'd like to thank everyone who read and review this story. You motivate me so! Also, if you'd like to leave a review, it would be greatly appreciated! Feedback always helps! So thanks a bunch and look for the epilogue sometime soon!