Without You
Chapter 5
Marissa Matthews Pov
I spent the last few days in the house. I still was unpacking and getting use to to the house again. Well at least that's what I told everyone.
My friends left on Wednesday, so I called up Adam on Thursday. It turns out that he immediately got together with some girl named Natalie as soon as I left. So we were obviously already over with, so I didn't even need to break up with him. I was crushed that he would do that to me.
I was going to break up, but I at least had the common decency to tell him we were broken up. So I had just spent the past two days doing nothing but cry in my room and lie to everyone around me. I have just been staying in my room and crying. Mom tried to make me my favorite dessert, but I never told her what it was. It's double chocolate chip cookies, but I wanted to lose weight still. I am currently 102 pounds. Becca wanted to take me around time and introduce to me some of her friends and our old friends, but I declined. I didn't want to see anyone. My eyes were puffy and my face was a storm of sadness.
On Saturday, Two-bit and Soda decided to show me Tulsa, so I remember it better, but I think they wanted me out of the house. I was bored out of my mind. I felt like I would drop to the ground at any second. Tulsa never changed. It is still the most wearisome place it has always been. Maybe living in California where all you do is have fun made it more boring, but I don't know. They pointed out The Nighty Double, DX, and a few other places I don't really need to know about them, but whatever. We were walking down to The Dingo, and then I saw that Two-bit left.
"He saw a blond that he liked and went to talk to her," Soda said, when he realized my surprised expression.
"Oh," I said. This may be cool though. Just Soda and me. I inched a little closer towards him. The rest of the walk was pure silence.
When we walked through the door of The Dingo, Soda headed for the farthest booth way in the corner. Maybe he just didn't want people to think he was with a Soc. I was wearing everything a Soc would wear. Long, pale pink skirt, white, modest, madras shirt, nice shoes, and custom made jewelry. I honestly did look like a Social.
We didn't even talk. I was real upset. Here, I had to clean myself up so much so I would look presentable for no reason at all. After a while, I excused myself to go to the restroom. In California, I would do that all the time on bad dates. The guys didn't know that all of our bathrooms have secret windows. I know I was being very uncivil walking out on Sodapop like that, but it reminded me of Corey. Corey was like Adam in a way. I loved him more than Adam, but then his Dad made him move away.
Corey was very polite, courteous, and everything else that Adam was and more. I knew Corey from the day I moved to Cali. He showed me around and made me feel better that I was there. I went out with him for two years and one month. Then two months later, me and Adam went out together.
Being there with Soda reminded me of when Corey told me that he was moving. Both times I had no feelings and there was an unbearable silence around us. So I had to get up and leave. I just couldn't stand it.
When Two-bit came home, he was pretty pissed at me. He yelled at me for leaving Soda there for three hours (like I would know he would of stayed there for that long waiting for me). I couldn't take it. I barged up the stairs and Becca was not in our room. I was sobbing on my bed when I noticed something shiny. It was Bec's switch blade. I had so many emotions in me, so I reached for the blade, hoping that they would all go away. I first made a small cut on my upper left arm. It was so weird. Everyone thinks my life is perfect. I had my family (Dad died), a supportive boyfriend (broke-up), and I am cheerleader and I would've been Poms Captain if I never got sick that week. My life sucks big time. So I prepared to cut myself again.