Crawling
Disclaimer: I do not own Jimmy Neutron : (
Crawling by Linkin Park.
Crawling in my skin…
I can't say I hated him. For I didn't, however I didn't like him either. And my feelings aren't neutral. So how, in blank terms lifting into the iridescent sky could I say I felt…
These wounds…they will not heal…No, I couldn't possibly admit, even in the darkest depths of the word how I feel.
Fear is how I fall…Yet I'm afraid. I feel the shivers overcome my body, my hand trembling as the ink pours like the jutting river onto these pages. I want to write whimsical fantasies of purple skies and blue grass and places of joy. I want to feel the wind take me along its back into deep regions of the unknown, of the want and desire. Sometimes I see it…sometimes I feel it is real, where I am, where life is…
Confusing what it real…But reality kicks in, the mindless drone of voices heard in the distance. Math equations appear before my blurry eyes on charcoal fire. In front of me, a spiral of chocolate blocks my view. But it doesn't matter.
There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface…Because my fingers itch to comb that hair on a sweet summer day, when the breeze is cool and the flowers give the aroma of dolce covered dew.
Consuming…Confusing…But I know that can't happen. For enemies and rivals must remain that way. Or the balance of the universe will be unjust.
This lack of self control I fear is never ending…But sometimes…sometimes I slip. An innocent touch here, a hopeful glance there. But it gets nowhere like the fate ridden birds riding against the torrential winds.
Controlling…. I can't seem…So I sit in this prison of wood and plastic, the splinters riding up my back as I lean forward, concentrating deeply on my work. All the while watching the one that got away.
To find myself again, my walls are closing in…I feel trapped. Trapped and suffocating in this emotion, where I'll spiral downward into unknown realms of prosperity and self-longing.
I've felt this way before, so insecure…I was supposed to be the one in control. But everything runs away from you. And you run away from yourself into the pouring rains of secrets and anguish.
Discomfort endlessly has pulled itself upon me…Before I could insult and tease…and now awkward silences fill the open spaces between us. Hate is only so far from love. White is only so far from the stained cream.
Distracting, reacting…I hear my voice reverberate against the walls, another witty insult giving laughter from peers and downward glances from him. But inside it wasn't me.
Against my will I stand beside my own reflection…Who I am is not who I want to be. For I am just a simple daisy, the poor man's flower grown in the wild fields. And he is a rose. A complicated being needing fragile care with the thorns for pricking.
It's haunting…How I can't seem…My hand rises in the air to answer skilfully with knowledge. Sharpness turns its head towards me, the correct answer flowing freely and yet jabbing with its spears. The blue is mesmerizing. And as I feel myself fall deeper, my voice utters an unjust comment back. No face was saved.
To find myself again…And once again I am sitting here. The chatter of trend whispering into the air.
Crawling in my skin…these wounds… they will not heal…The flashes of April and Betty brighten my eyes into despair and longing. Almost kisses, feather touches…
Fear is how I fall…confusing…confusing what is real…I can't say I hate him, for it would be a lie. And love is too fickle to believe in. So how I feel, for that genius…is hard to say, at best I can say neutral. But even then…it would all be a lie.
Cindy
Authors note: Okay…so that was strange. Anyways Review welcome! Goddard or my personal Vegeta will destroy flames.