"Zell?"

Zell looked down at Seifer, who was looking very confused and vulnerable. Zell whipped off his jacket and wrapped it around the child. "It's okay, Seifie."

"Dun call me Seifie. 'M Seifer." The boy's lip stuck out in a defiant pout.

Zell was taken aback. "Sure, Seifer. No more Seifie."

Seifer held up his arms. Zell picked him up, carrying him over to the others. Matron had passed out apparently, Laguna's coat was over her whilst Squall's jacket was balled under her head.

"Is Matron all right?"

"She just fainted." Laguna looked up at them and smiled. "You feeling okay, Seifer?"

"I'm cold. Zell, I'm cold."

Zell rolled his eyes. Seifer always was a pushy child. "We'll go inside and find you some clothes, hey?"

"Okay."

The blonde took the boy inside, casting gazes back at Matron.

Seifer was bouncing on the bed while Zell tried to find something that would pass for clothes until they could go shopping.

"Try these on, Seifer!"

The boy wriggled into a pair of boxers Zell ditched out. They had been in the pile but were too big for him when he had been smaller.

"They fit!"

"Okay." Zell came back out into the lounge room and watched the boy for a moment. "You really feel okay?"

"Yes, Zell." Seifer looked about. "Where's Midi?"

"Midi? Probably on your pillow, Seif."

Seifer scampered into the next room and came out with Midi tightly held in his hand. "Zell? I'm hungry."

"We can call one of the servants. They can get you some clothes as well."

Seifer nodded solemnly and held Midi to his chest, burying his face in its crest. He meandered back to the couch, sitting down and flicking on the television.

Zell ordered some sandwiches, hot dogs and juice and asked them to send the tailors.

The rest of the day was spent spent feeding, measuring and then trying clothes on Seifer. He was very quiet when the servants were around, and would take some minutes to relax after they went.

Zell found himself constantly wanting to pick up the child and cuddle him, but he suspected, from earlier struggling, that Seifer did not want to be cuddled anymore. He was not a toddler, he was a little boy and a rough and tumble one at that.

Finally, it hit six and Zell deemed it bath time. For someone who hadn't been outside most of the day Seifer had managed to get remarkably dirty.

Seifer nodded solemnly and watched the bath being run. Zell watched the water, trying to understand what had changed.

It was hard. His little boy was gone, and he had to become used to this new attitude and size. Would Seifer want to be left alone to bathe, or prefer the company? Would he still want to play? He'd want his own bed again, Zell was glad he'd hung onto it.

He hit off the water and glanced into the lounge room. "Seifer. Bath time."

"I don't wanna." Came the reply.

"Seifer..." he warned. "Bath. Now. I bet Midi doesn't want you smelling."

Seifer came out to Zell, scratching his head. "Zell?"

"Yeah?" He waited for Seifer to continue, watching him silently.

"Nuffin'." Seifer looked down and kicked off his shoes and socks, dumping his t-shirt on top of them. Zell stood up and headed out as Seifer finished undressing.

"Zell?"

"Yes, Seifer?" He looked back. Seifer looked so helpless, standing there with his hands clasped, staring at the bath.

"Will you stay and tell me a story?"

"Sure." Zell grinned and knocked down the toilet lid, sitting down. Seifer scrambled into the bath with a loud splash and looked up expectantly.

"Okay. Once upon a time, there was a little Chicobo...."

The bath passed, Seifer was bundled into pajamas and Zell tucked him into his own bed. He read one more bedtime story, kissed Seifer's forehead and turned out the main light, leaving the night light on.

He got out into the lounge room and collapsed on the couch, too tired to move any further. Looking after a five year old was hard work. When they were little, they did everything you said without question and let you carry them about. Five... at five they questioned and disagreed and demanded.

He rubbed his face and stared at his ceiling.

Morning came. Zell woke up with a sore neck, aching back and stiff limbs.

The couch was not a good bed.

"Zell! I'm hungry. Breakfast."

"Hang on a minute." Zell sat up and rubbed his eyes sleepily, looking to the blonde boy standing by him. "Cereal okay?"

"Uh huh." Seifer hugged Midi close, burying his face. "Zell?"

"Yes, Seifer."

"I had a dream last night. Of a lady. With white hair and one eye. Is she my mum?"

Zell blinked. "Fujin? No, she's..." Your friend? He didn't remember her, he wouldn't understand. "She's an old friend of mine. You saw her when you were younger. You still hungry?"

"Yeah. Can I have milk to drink?"

"Sure, Seifer. Sure."

Zell was in the shower, listening to the morning cartoons from the next room. He dunked his head under the stream of water, leaning against the glass with a sigh.

It wasn't easy. Seifer was not a lovable child like this... but he still loved him anyway.

"Zell!"

He jumped and stuck his head out of the shower, glaring at Seifer who stood in the bathroom. "Yes?"

"Someone at the door. It's a big man, and he won't tell me who he is or nuffin'!"

Ward. Zell sniggered and turned off the water, stepping out and grabbing a towel.

"Zell...?"

"Yes, Seifer?"

"Your skin is really smooth." A little hand reached out and stroked his leg above the knee. "It's pretty."

Zell blushed faintly and scooped Seifer up, ignoring the squeal it brought. "C'mon, you munchkin."

"I'm not a munchkin!"

Zell opened the door, Seifer hanging upside from one arm. "Yes, Ward?"

Ward smirked and gave him a piece of paper. Zell flicked it open and read it.

'Zell. Laguna and I are going away. Selphie and Quistis will be coming here. Meet them at the airport at two.'

The lack of signature confirmed that Squall had really sent it. Zell nodded. "Thanks. Is everything okay between those two?"

The large man shrugged and rolled his eyes. Zell sniggered and nodded. "I hear you. Ow. Seifer, that's my arm."

"I'm hungry, Zell!"

"Sorry, I better go feed him before he starts chewing on me, ow! Quit it, munchkin."

Zell said his goodbyes and closed the door, half carrying half dragging Seifer into the kitchen and dumping him in a chair. He put some cereal, not the super sugary stuff, in a bowl and poured milk on it, dumping it in front of the boy. "Here, eat."

He dumped the milk next to Seifer and went out to finish his shower.

They survived the day all right. Quistis and Selphie spent much of the afternoon and evening with them, Quistis still armed with her damn video camera.

Seifer didn't seem to mind. He played with Selphie, talking to her about Midi and Matron, happily unaware that she knew all of it already.

Finally, Zell shooed them off and dumped Seifer in the bath, telling him another story whilst washing the child. Out and dried and into pajamas, Zell tucked Seifer into bed, looked around the suite and decided to hop into bed himself.

It was preferable to collapsing on the couch again.

About three in the morning, Zell found himself awake, anticipation running through him. He glanced to the other bed, saw Seifer's arm flail out, his face twitching, lips mumbling out quiet words.

Zell got up and moved over to the bed, stroking his ward's hair. "Seifie. Wake up, it's just a nightmare. Seifie."

Seifer opened his eyes, rolling to look up at the older boy. Zell smiled and picked him up, cuddling him close. "It's okay, I'm here."

"Zell? The lady came back again." His voice was little more than a whisper.

That was new. The older boy sat down, still cradling the boy on his lap, rocking him softly. "What lady, Seifie?"

"Shh." Small fingers pushed against his lips. "She'll hear you and then she'll come here and then she'll eat me."

Zell bit his lip and nodded sincerely. "All right, I'll be quiet," he whispered back. "Are you going to tell me about the lady?"

"No. If I talk about her, she'll know, and then she'll come anyway. Shh."

Zell sighed and sat against the headboard, holding Seifer securely in his arms. He wanted to tell him it was just a nightmare, except he knew it wasn't. No child had nightmares that regularly, about the same thing. At least, no normal child did.

Still, there was nineteen years of memories cooped up in that little mind.

"She won't come back, Seifie. I'll keep you safe," he said softly. "No one's going to hurt you."

They sat there until the sun came up.

It was late the next day that Zell and Seifer got up. The boy seemed to have recovered from his nightmare and Zell had finally had a decent amount of sleep.

The went out into the town. Seifer was an even bigger handful, but somehow even more adorable now than he had been before. He asked a lot of questions, big green eyes earnest and waiting for answers, and he bounced everywhere, tugging on Zell's hands.

Zell suspected that they were being followed by Quistis and her camera, but he couldn't spot her.

They were walking through the streets, Zell carrying a moomba he had been convinced to buy Seifer, when a loud, shrill voice cut through the air. "Zell!"

"Oh Hyne, not her. Rinoa, hi." He plastered on a smile and turned to face her.

"I heard about what happened to poor Seifer, oh! Is that him?"

Zell looked down to Seifer, who was hiding behind his legs. "Seifer? You remember Rinoa?"

Seifer looked up at the girl, who had taken to wearing 'more appropriate clothing for her new found powers'. He made a small eeping sound and hid behind Zell.

Guess so, Zell thought to himself.

"Seifer? It's me, 'Noa." She crouched down, her gown flowing out around her. "Remember me?"

The boy whimpered and buried his face in Zell's shorts, moving as close to the older boy as he could.

"Seifie?" Zell disentangled him and turned around, kneeling to eye level. "What's wrong, Seif?"

There was a small hiccup and Seifer trembled, eyes wide and tear filled.

"Rinoa, please, you're terrifying him." He picked up Seifer, holding him tight to his chest, face buried against his neck. He could feel moisture on his skin, the little body trembling with sobs of fear. "Rinoa! Go! Please?"

She nodded and backed away. "I... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..."

"Please, go."

She turned and left. Zell breathed a sigh of relief, glaring at a few passers by who gave a little too much interest to the two of them.

"She's gone, Seifie. She's gone away, I promise. She's all gone."

Seifer looked up, face red and wet. "I want to go home, Zell. I want to go home. I feel cold."

"Okay, hop down for a moment, I'll take off my jacket and you can have that." Zell set Seifer down and shrugged off the garment, wrapping it around Seifer. "Warmer?"

"Carry me?" He stared up at Zell. "Please? I'm scared."

Zell's heart melted. He bent down and picked up the boy again, cuddling him close. "I'll keep you safe, Seifie. No one will hurt you again."

Seifer lay his head on the broad shoulder and closed his eyes.

The rest of the night was quiet. Quistis came by for a while, without the camera this time, but Seifer wouldn't come out from under the bed while she was around, so eventually she left and Zell came into the bedroom.

"Seifer? What's wrong, munchkin?"

"The scary lady."

"Rinoa? She's not so bad, Seifer. She's just a girl."

"I don't like girls. They're scary."

Zell smiled. "When you get older you'll like them."

"No. Girls are yucky and scary and mean." A dirty blonde head appeared, scowling. "I don't like girls."

"Not even Selphie?"

"Selphie's not a girl. She's my friend." Seifer said loudly.

Zell started laughing. Seifer crawled out and cuddled into his lap. "What?"

"Nothing, Seif. You're just very cute." He kissed the tip of his nose, taken aback when Seifer wiped at his nose.

"Zell? Do you like girls?"

"Sure. Why not?" Zell pulled off the t-shirt and grabbed the pajama top on Seifer's bed. "Arms up."

"Are you going to marry Selphie or Quistis?"

He forced himself not to laugh. "No, they both have boyfriends."

Seifer nodded, seriously. "Zell?"

"Yes, Seifer?" He tugged off shoes and shorts, picking up the pajama pants.

"Are you going to marry Matron?"

Zell barely held back the hysterical laughter. "Where did you get that idea, Seif?"

"Well, she's like my mum, and on the TV they said that mums and dads get married, and you're not my dad, but you look after me, and I don't want you to marry Matron, but the TV said you would."

"Oh, Seifie, the TV isn't always right. Matron has a husband, and they're very happy. So you'll be stuck with me."

"Yay!" Seifer dived into Zell's arms and hugged him. "My Zell!"

"Sure, Seifer." Zell hugged him back and tipped him up to lay him in bed. "But now it's bed time."

"No. The lady..." The watery eyes started again.

"Okay, it's okay, Seifer." Zell toed off his shoes and slipped into the bed. "I'll be here. Go to sleep, munchkin."

"'M not a munchkin."

"I know." He kissed Seifer's cheek. "Go to sleep."

Seifer quickly fell asleep, Zell not so far behind.

The next morning, Zell woke late. He rolled over to hug Seifer, only to find a cool space where the boy had been asleep.

He sat up, looking around, worried. "Seifer?"

The boy appeared in the doorway with a cup on a plate. "I made you coffee!"

"Oh. Thank you, Seifer." He took the cup and drank some, careful to keep his face neutral despite the taste. "That's very nice of you."

"I got you cereal too. 'Cause you told me not to use the toaster on my own." He ran out and skidded back with a bowl of cereal and the milk carton. "See?"

"Yes, I do. Thank you very much, Seifer." He took the bowl and carefully poured some milk into it. "What brought this on?"

Seifer smiled the little secretive smirk and disappeared out the door again.

Zell slowly ate his breakfast, trying to not grimace at the coffee. It was alright, he guessed, but not what he preferred.

He finally got up to take the bowl and cup to the sink. Seifer was sitting in front of the television, mimicking the swordsman.

Zell watched silently. The actions were hesitant and somewhat clumsy, but the precision was beyond any child, as was the grace that shone through. It brought home the hard reality of the situation again.

Seifer was not a child. He was trapped in a child's mind and body, but he was not a child.

He blinked and realised a small warm body was leaning against his legs, hand fisted in the hem of his shorts. He looked down, Seifer stared up, fingers in his mouth, and blinked at him.

"What is it, Seifie?"

"Do you love me, Zell?"

The hesitation was so strange. Zell knelt down and scooped Seifer into his arms, kissing his nose. "Of course I do. Do you remember when you were really little?"

Small shake of the head, though there were hints of memory underneath. Zell didn't push it. "Why, Seifer?"

"I... feel wrong." He frowned and leant against Zell. "My head hurts." He shook his head and blinked again. "Can we get married?"

Zell laughed, hugging Seifer close. "Oh, munchkin, you're too young to get married."

"Not now, silly." Seifer wriggled away and glared at Zell. "When I get older."

The thought sent strange emotions through Zell. Seifer... adult Seifer, loving him. Children weren't discriminatory, Seifer didn't remember Zell like this.

"How about you ask when you get older, huh?"

"But, if you don't know that we're going to get married, you might marry someone else first, and then I can't marry you, and I'll be sad, and you love me, so you'll be sad as well."

Zell stared at the earnest green eyes and bit his lip, trying to stop the tears that irrationally wanted to fall.

He failed and stood there holding Seifer, letting his tears damp the dark blonde hair

Seifer tried to comfort Zell, until he just cried, though he was even less sure why.

The days started to blend again. Zell took to sleeping in his own bed, only letting Seifer crawl in with him when he had a nightmare and always returning him to his own bed when he was asleep again. There was no doubt how much he loved the little boy, but an unexplained melancholy had fallen over the teenager, and even Seifer knew something was wrong.

Days became weeks, and a month passed.

Quistis was sorting through reports for Squall, he was still away with Laguna, when the timid knock came on her door.

She opened it and looked around and down. "Seifer?"

"Quistie..." He stared up at her, tightly clutching the Chocobo to his chest. "Zell's not happy. I did something wrong."

Quistis smiled sadly and ushered him in, closing the door. "Do you want a drink, Seifer? Hot milk?"

"No." He sat down on the couch after he clambered up onto it. "Quistie, what did I do? Zell doesn't like me anymore."

"I'm sure Zell likes you fine, he's just very worried about you." She sat down and took a small hand in hers. "He loves you a lot, Seifer."

"No, he doesn't. He won't let me sleep with him anymore and he always looks sad."

She thought about this, and knew that there was no way to explain what Zell was feeling to a little boy. Zell had spoken to her, she knew how hard he was finding it. He had realised that Seifer would grow up again, and probably remember nothing.

She knew he was in love with Seifer, the old Seifer, and was scared that he was getting to accustomed to the affection. He was trying to soften it for himself.

She hugged Seifer. "He's just worried, Seifer. He's worried for you."

Seifer nodded, sighed and quietly left for his room.

Selphie took Seifer for the rest of the day, so Quistis could talk to Zell. It was hard to be rough on Zell, but he needed it right now.

There was a little boy who needed him, and his own hurt would have to come second to that.

Selphie had the harder job. Seifer remained convinced for the entire day that Zell was going to leave while he was with her and spent the day sulkily hanging onto Midi and refusing to talk.

Finally, at six, Selphie conceded and took Seifer back up to Zell's room. It was a long walk, he was stubbornly walking by himself, despite his obvious exhaustion from the emotional stress of the day.

The brunette opened the door to the suite and looked around. "Zell? Quistie? We're back."

"We're in the kitchen, Selphie."

Seifer took off immediately, Midi dropped to the floor in his haste to see if Zell was still there. He skidded to a halt in the door, staring. "Zell?"

The blonde looked up. His eyes were puffy and red and his face flushed. He smiled and held out his arms. "Come here, Seifie."

Seifer ran over, jumping up into Zell's waiting arms. "Zell! You didn't go, you stayed!"

"Of course I stayed, munchkin." He wrapped his arms around the little boy, and a few more tears fell. "I love you, Seifer. I love you so much, I won't ever leave you."

Quistis glanced at Selphie, and they both knew who it was that Zell was really talking to.

They left.

Zell's mood improved after that day. Seifer didn't know what had changed, maybe Zell didn't either, but things settled back down, and the two could frequently be seen out shopping, laughing as they visited their usual cafe and playing in the parks.

It was a month of good living. Squall and Laguna were still away, though no one was exactly sure where they were.

The pattern at night remained the same. Two nights of Seifer sleeping in his bed, one night of nightmares that he was too afraid to speak of, even in daylight.

Seifer slowly opened up again, until he was much like the exuberant toddler he had been only months earlier. Admittedly, he still shied away from others, but he left no doubt in Zell's mind of how much he loved the older boy.

And Zell was just happy to have any Seifer at all.

The four of them; Zell, Quistis, Selphie and Seifer; were out on one of their regular picnics in the palace grounds under the watchful eye of Matron when it next happened.

It was alike a morbid replay of two months earlier. Seifer trembled, and Matron gasped in pain. Zell dove to the boy as he started to scream in pain, Quistis running to Matron as she passed out.

There was a crack, a flash of rose light and Zell sagged under the dead weight of the nine year old boy as he passed out from the pain.

to be continued...