It's 9 am. I woke up an hour ago and now I'm making my way to the hospital.

The subway is full of people. Businessmen, homeless. Everybody looking stressed out and not very happy at all. It would be hard to tell that it's Christmas, if it weren't for the excessive decoration all over the city.

I get off twenty minutes later. It's not raining, but it's cold and cloudy.

As the hospital-building appears in front of me I'm not so sure about going in anymore.

The thought of seeing Mimi there. Weak, pale, attached to all kind of machinery.. I don't want that. But I feel like I owe her something. And after leaving her before, I can't leave her again.

I enter and head straight for the room, that Collins had told me to go to.

Before entering her room I take a deep breath.

I try not to think about what expects me. Which sights, questions, fears..

Slowly I open the door, trying to smile.

The smile fades immediately, as I see her.

She is lying there, looking just as pale as the day before. Her dark curls, that are sticking to her sweaty forehead make her look even paler.

Her lips, that are always filled with a deep red are now only a light pink shade of what they used to be.

Only her eyes are still the same, although they look tired.

But all of this doesn't really matter, the thing that really bothers me is Benny.

He is sitting beside her, holding her hand.

I want to shout at him. Ask him what he's doing here, but probably Benny's reasons are the same as mine. He cares about her and wants to comfort her.

I just can't stand the fact that he was here first.

I ignore my feelings and try to stay calm. For her sake.

"Roger, I heard what happened."

Benny gets up to shake my hand with a serious expression on his face.

"I just wanted to check on her."

I nod. There's nothing else I can do, that doesn't involve insulting him or hurting him badly.

I look past him at Mimi.

She is gazing out of the window. I'm not sure, but I think the situation embarrasses her.

I look at Benny again.

"Get out..", I say irritated, but quietly, so Mimi doesn't hear it.

He stares at me, but he doesn't look angry or as if he wanted to respond.

Probably he can guess that I also blame him for what happened.

If he had taken care of her properly, she wouldn't have had to live on the street..

Maybe he even blames himself.. I don't care.

He turns to Mimi and walks back to her bed.

She looks away from the window and faces him.

I can hear him say something to her and she nods.

Benny leaves.

Now I dare to walk towards her myself.

I look at her again. At the machines around the bed..

I make myself look into her eyes and she smiles at me.

"Hi.."

Her voice is weak and sounds shy, but sweet as ever and a shiver runs down my spine.

I feel tears in my eyes. Finally there's an emotion I can define. I feel empty.

I sit down on the edge of her bead and open my mouth to say something, but she stops me by placing her fingertips on my lips.

Her hand slips down again, because she's to weak to hold it, but I take it and kiss it.

We don't talk for a very long time.