Disclaimer: JAG is the property of Donald P. Bellisario, Paramount Pictures, CBS Television and Belisarius Productions. I hope I spelled all of that stuff right.
Author's Notes: It was kindly pointed out to me that if I keep posting every Friday, it could very well be December by the time I finish. Haha, soooo it would be weird to read a ghost story around the holidays. Hence, the early posting. Hopefully, if school doesn't get too overbearing, I'll find time to post the rest of this story as soon as possible.
"Unfinished Business"
by e-dog
Chapter Six: It's Been a Long Time Coming
Manderlee
October 25, 2014
The gate creaked as he pushed it open, then the old door got stuck in a patch of dirt. He gave it another hard shove and then the gate opened easily. He stood in the passageway, staring at the one place where he always thought he could be safe. His thinning hair wisped in the sea breeze, his aged features accented by the sun. He felt frozen in place, not sure if he should continue forward or not. He didn't believe them when they told him they were going to buy it. Looking at the fixed up house and the newly planted garden, it was obvious they proved him wrong.
He had sold Manderlee after his mother died and forgot about it. Or at least tried to forget...then he got word of Mattie and Jenn buying the place. He just had to come back.
Clayton Webb finally took his first full step inside and had to do everything in his power not to cry. The memories were just too much and he suddenly collapsed to the ground and wept.
Mac had been aimlessly floating around, then saw the hunched figure on the ground. His body shaking with sorrow. Concern washed over her as well as the curiosity as to who the person was. It wasn't too long before he rose his head and she gasped in surprise, "Clay..."
He wiped his eyes and looked in her direction. His face contorted in bewilderment as he looked directly at her. Right into her eyes. She began to panic wondering what was going on. Was he really looking at her? Then her suspicions were proven false when she heard Jason call, "Mr. Webb? Is that you?"
She sighed deeply, realizing Clay was looking through her, not at her. Jason ran by her and knelt down next to the man on the ground. She drifted over, but kept her distance, trying to get a good look at her former lover. Jason helped Clay to stand and stabilize himself and told him, "Mr. Webb, you shouldn't be here. Your doctor said it wouldn't be healthy..."
"No," Clay said hoarsely, then coughed. Mac grimaced as it sounded like he had a smoker's cough. He gently pushed Jason aside and stood under his own power, "It's been a long time. Too long. I had to come back."
It was now Jenn's turn to come outside and she too looked surprise. It was becoming obvious that Clay's visit wasn't planned. "Clay? What are you doing here? I thought you're doctor told you to stay in bed."
Clay's eyes suddenly looked heavy and tired. He straightened out his coat and smoothed his hair. His lip quivered for a moment then he spoke, "I've been living with this guilt for too long. My mother is dead and I haven't been a field agent in nearly six years. You have to understand, coming here...to this house. It's all I have left..."
He coughed again and Jason immediately took his arm and gave a fake smile, "Well, you are welcome here, Mr. Webb. Are you hungry?"
Jenn had a look of disapproval, but knew she wasn't going to turn him away. She too gave a small smile and led them back inside, "We can give you some tea."
"No tea! No, not that," Clay said animatedly. The two younger persons looked at him confused, but they would never know the significance behind a single cup of tea. He thought back to that day in September, ten years ago. After nearly killing the woman he loved, all he could think to do was come here and make a cup of tea. No. Coming back here was having a toll on him already. Drinking tea would only make it hurt more.
"Coffee?" she suggested and to that Clay wholeheartedly agreed. "Okay then. C'mon in."
Mac just watched them go inside. She sank to the ground, not knowing what to feel or how to act. After shutting her eyes for a moment, a thought came to her. If Clay was here, this was her opportunity to make things right. If she talked to Clay and finished what was started between them, then she could finally be at peace. It was then she saw Harm float around the house with an obvious confused expression. He was wondering why Clay was even here. Her face took on a sad look as she realized, if she reconciled with Clay, she would be leaving Harm behind forever.
Mattie was having a hard time looking at Clay let alone sitting next to him. He too was avoiding eye contact with her for good reason. It was the beginning of September when they spoke last and the conversation wasn't a pleasant one...
September 10, 2014
Mattie entered Clay's office and sat down. He was sitting there, drinking some form of alcohol rather freely and didn't care if he drank in front of her. He rubbed a hand over his face to wake himself up and said monotone, "You wanted to see me?"
"Yes," she started timidly. "About Harm and Mac. Remember?"
He groaned, took another sip and threw the empty glass in the trash can. It clanged loudly and he sighed, "Yes, unfortunately, I remember."
Mattie was already losing her patience and threw a few folders down in front of him. She stood up and leaned forward, "I've waited too long and worked too hard to get where I am today. I've squeezed every detail I've could out your superiors and have obtained records through the help of former Admiral Chegwidden. I don't need you to act like a stupid drunk now, you understand?"
Clay looked at her, surprised at the gusto she had. It took him a moment to remember that she had no patience for alcohol. Seeing how her father nearly ruined his entire life over substance abuse, her attitude suddenly didn't surprise him.
He looked down at the folders. He saw they were reports on the late Commander Harmon Rabb Jr. and Lt. Colonel Sarah Mackenzie, detailing the main points of what happened at Manderlee. Of course the Agency gave reports leaving out the major details. It was clear she was here to see him and to get those major details. She wanted him to fill in the gaps. He pushed the papers aside and gave a fake smile, "You know I can't talk about that..."
"It's been ten years!" she pushed and gave him the best sorrowful expression she could give. "Please, don't let their memory be washed away on some CIA technicality. Tell me what happened."
His face suddenly dropped and he folded his hands. He knew he was about to spill everything and he couldn't tell if the alcohol was doing it or if the guilt was finally becoming too overbearing. He coughed and started, "Before Harm and Sarah discovered where I had been hiding, they thought I was dead..."
"I know that part already," Mattie interrupted rudely.
"But you don't know everything about it!" he roared with frustration and grief. She quieted down, not knowing this was going to be so hard for him. He calmed down and continued, "I was on a mission and I had been caught. I faked my death and hid. I never contacted Sarah and I'm sure she despised me for it. Tanveer, an old acquaintance had contacted her, claiming I was alive. Of course, she bit on that information immediately and searched for me."
"How did they know how to find you?" Mattie inquired, this time not as rudely.
"Eventually, Harm found out about my hiding place, Manderlee," Clay sighed. "Jennifer tipped him off after reciting a poem from a book. I tell ya, nothing got by Harm. He was smart."
"Jenn knew?" Mattie asked, slightly alarmed.
"No, she didn't," Clay corrected her and leaned back in the chair. "From what Bud told me at the time, Harm had asked her to look something up on a killer named The Hawk. Somehow, the conversation escalated from there and Harm figured it out. He went to Mac and Tanveer about the information and that's when they arrived at the house." Clay paused and stood, knowing he was getting to the most difficult part of the story. He looked out the window and finished, "To make a long story short, there was a struggle. Tanveer had lied, saying he worked for MI-6 when in actuality he was working for the people I was hiding from. Shots were fired and..."
"They died?" Mattie filled the obvious fact in meekly. She pulled herself together and told him, "I read most of what you've told me in the reports. However, there just seems to be no explanation as to what caused Tanveer to freak out..."
"It was me," Clay said stiffly and leaned on his window sill. "I was...I was so stupid."
"What do you mean?" Mattie asked, starting to sound very agitated. "What did you do?"
"No one will ever understand. I had been out there for so long," he recalled, a slight whimper in his voice. "Hiding and plotting. Fearful for my life and always worrying about Sarah...I lost my head. Simon was so pissed that I couldn't shut up and just started to fire...he just started firing...He shot her first...then...I yelled..."
"So wait, you're telling me you started it?" Mattie stood up and pointed at him accusingly.
"Mattie," he turned around, looking anguished and alone. "I didn't know Simon would be such a loose canon...I thought we could negotiate."
"Whatever," she said, not able to find any other words. She picked up the folders and got her things together. He walked over to her, trying to make her understand, but she slapped him instead. He stepped back at the sting and she said as calmly as possible, "Your impatience killed the only man who I ever thought as my real father. I'm sorry, but if you're looking for forgiveness, you're asking the wrong person."
October 24, 2014
The memory faded from her mind as she finally reentered the real world. The three of them had started talking and Jason asked her, "Are you okay, Mattie?"
"I'm fine," she replied rigidly and still focused her attention somewhere else other than Clay. Jennifer could see the tension mounting at the table and that's when she remembered Mattie's encounter with Clay. That conversation led up to buying the house, but right now, both of them in the same room just wasn't working right now.
"Mattie, why don't you go upstairs," she suggested. "Finish that paper you've been working on, okay?"
Mattie didn't need any further hints to leave as she slowly rose from the table and left the kitchen.
Clay watched her leave and sighed deeply, "She's still angry with me?"
"I think quite a few people are still angry with you, Clay," Jenn stated the obvious. "What happened here will never be forgotten, it's just some people have a harder time moving on."
Clay contemplated her answer and stared down at the table. He recited, "If you have made mistakes, even serious ones, there is always another chance for you. What we call failure is not the falling down, but the staying down.–Mary Pickford." He chuckled and asked them, "You know why that's strange?"
"No," Jason replied and Jenn sat down and pushed more coffee towards Clay.
The CIA agent took the mug and sipped, "She says, there's always another chance for you after making a mistake. However, the casualties of those mistakes...they don't get a second chance, now do they?" His voice trailed off and the guiltiness of his actions washed over his face again. He breathed in deeply and apologized, "I'm sorry I even came. I thought maybe I could talk to Mattie, but it's obvious she wants nothing to do with me."
While Jenn tried to convince Clay it was okay for him to stay, Mac hovered in the corner watching. Was she going to let her opportunity at talking to Clay slip away? She felt the touch of Harm's hand on her shoulder and he whispered, "You should talk to him."
"What?" she said surprised and looked at him bewildered by his comment. "Harm, if I do that, you know what could happen, right? You would be here alone with Simon."
He smiled sadly and confessed, "I've reconnected with Mattie in ways I couldn't imagine and it's only a matter of time before she forgives me for abandoning her. Plus, now Clay is here. This is what we've always wanted, isn't it? To bring closure to what has haunted us all this time?"
Mac nodded, not quite sure it was what she wanted anymore. A small part of her was nagging her, telling her it wasn't right. She looked at him and asked timidly, "Is that what you want?"
"I had a feeling you would ask that," he said. He looked away because he was still unprepared to answer. He had to admit, he was apprehensive to move on and to finally "rest in peace". If that happened, he would finally be dead. He didn't exist physically now and if he finally brought a close to his issue with Mattie, he wouldn't exist as a ghost either. He reluctantly nodded and said, "It's what I want, but only if that's what you want too."
"I had a feeling you would say that," Mac chuckled uneasily and folded her arms. She noticed Jenn had convinced Clay to stay for dinner, despite Mattie wasn't talking to him. It was the least she could do for him since he came out all this way. He looked appreciative of the offer and was heading into the family room to rest on the couch. Mac returned her attention to Harm and asked, "How do I talk to him?"
"I have a way, I think," Harm pondered out loud, then led Mac outside to the porch. He pointed up to the blue sky where they could spy a very faint moon. He explained, "I think the moonlight makes us visible to the human eye."
"How do you know?" Mac asked, very interested.
"Mattie said she saw me fighting with Simon right out here," Harm recalled. "This area is so clear, nothing was blocking the moonlight. I think that's how she saw us."
"So, I should stand in direct moonlight? So he can see me?" Mac asked excitedly and Harm nodded. She thought this over, then added despairingly, "He still won't hear me."
"No, but if he can see you, he'll know that you're really there," Harm shrugged, then turned away. "Like I said, I'm not sure if that's how it works, but it's worth a try."
"It won't work," Simon said threateningly, as he approached them. They backed up but he rose his hand in surrender, "I'm not here to fight. You gave me quite a bruise last time, Harm. You hurt my pride."
"Good," Harm scowled at him with angry eyes.
Simon shoved his hands in his pocket and repeated, "Anyway, that won't work."
"What won't work?" Mac asked.
"Reconciling with Clay and Mattie!" he laughed at them as if they were utterly brainless. "Forgiving me is the only way."
"We think you're wrong," Harm objected and continued to glare at his killer.
"C'mon now, admit it. You've thought about how much sense it makes," Simon teased them, floating closer to them. "I'm sick of trying to scare it out of you, but I'll never stop asking for your forgiveness. You will see one day, that forgiving me will set us all free."
Harm and Mac were going to argue with Simon, but jumped when they heard a horrible yell. They whirled around and saw Clay with a ghostly white face, pointing at them! "Oh my God! Do you see them??? Do you see them???"
Jenn rushed out and grabbed Clay's wild arm, trying to calm him, "See what?"
"Harm and Mac!" he yelled in exasperation and surprise. "Don't you see them? Oh my...! They've come back to kill me! I knew I shouldn't have come..."
His eyes were wild and his face so distorted and confused. The two ghosts just stared on in shock at their old friend. How could Clay see them? What was so much different about right now as opposed to before? And if Clay could see them, why couldn't Jenn? It was quite obvious she didn't know they were right in front of her. While Harm turned around to find Simon had disappeared again, Mac got up some nerve and spoke, "Clay? Can you hear me?"
He slowly calmed down at the sound of her distant voice and looked straight at her. He shook some, trying to tell himself it was a hallucination...just like ones he had before. Another part told him this was different. She was real. They both were real. He gulped and cried at Jenn, "Can't you see her? She's...talking to me...She's going to hurt me..."
He slowly slid down Jenn, trying to grasp her and to keep from falling. Jenn on the other hand, was just trying not to fall down herself. Once he was comfortably on the ground, he sobbed into her leg and Jason ran out with several bottles.
"I got these from his coat pockets," Jason mumbled. "Uh...this is for his depression...I think. This is for..."
"Jason, just find the one for psychotic episodes!" Jenn snapped at him, not needing to know what every bottle did. He shut up quickly and kept searching for the right one. Jenn looked out but couldn't see what Clay was seeing. She wanted to call out and ask for a signal that Harm and Mac were really there, but that course of action might confuse Clay even more.
"Harm, there's something wrong with him," Mac said worried, never remembering Clay like this. "Pills for depression and psychotic episodes?"
"He's sick, Mac," Harm said gravely.
"Do I go to him?" Mac asked, more worried now then she was a second ago and very confused as to what was happening. "Will that scare him even more?"
Before Harm could answer, Clay mumbled, "I can hear you...I'm sorry for what happened. Are you listening? Don't go..."
Mac was in full emotional drive now as she went over to him without thinking and said desperately, "I'm listening, Clay! I'm not leaving." She watched as she saw a glazed look in his eyes and she looked away. He had been drinking, long before he arrived here. She looked at him again and he coughed before giving her an inquisitive stare, "Do you forgive me for leaving you?"
"Clay, you hurt me," Mac told him and attempted to grab his hand. It didn't work, but he saw the gesture and smiled at her. She adverted her eyes away from his and finished, "I can't forgive you for that. Not even now."
"I'm still sorry and I love you, Sarah. I always have," he choked on his words, trying to suppress another cough.
"I know you have, Clay," Mac replied sympathetically. Harm showed concern for Clay, but forgot about their other audience. He looked over at Jenn, who had let go of Clay by now, just watching him in awe. Jason too, looked on at the strange scene. It appeared that Clay was talking to Mac, but they couldn't see her. All they could see was a depressed man, lying on the porch, talking to the sky.
His gargled speech and shiny eyes showing signs of an impending hangover. It wasn't the first time Clay had pulled a stunt like this and it probably wouldn't be the last. A long time ago, everyone who knew Clay all agreed his drinking needed to be under control and ultimately stopped. At some point, Clay ignored their pleas for him to stop and continued to make an ass of himself.
Simon leaned down next to both Mac and Clay and asked her, "You do know why he can see you, don't you darling?"
Harm immediately rushed over to put a space between Simon and Mac. Simon just laughed at his overprotective nature and finished, "Because he is dying, love! He is dying and making his passage to the other side!"
"What?" Harm and Mac exclaimed at the same time.
"How do I know this?" Simon asked for them. "When his mother killed me all those years ago and I dropped to the ground, all of a sudden, I could see your pathetic souls hugging each other in remorse of your own deaths. I was so ashamed of being killed in front of you, I hid before you could see me. Don't you understand? Only the dead can see the dead!"
"Simon, you bastard," Clay muttered and began to drift away. Jenn looked down at Clay and finally realized this was more than just a hangover. She began to panic and ordered Jason to call 911. He argued it would be too late and they should drive him instead. Clay interrupted them and said, "No, it's too late. I knew I was dying...that's why I came here. I want to die here..."
"Clay, let them help you," Mac insisted as he looked at her.
"C'mon, Webb. Don't be stupid," Harm said right along with Mac. "Trust me, this whole being dead thing isn't all it's cracked up to be."
"They can't help me, Sarah," he said, his eyes closing. "I'm already gone..."
"Mr. Webb?" Jason called and knelt down, checking for a pulse. He kept his fingers there, trying to feel something, but there was nothing there. He hung his head and said sadly, "He's gone."
"Gone? He can't be gone," Mac stammered and then saw him. Clay's spirit rose up from his body and sat on the porch. He blinked his eyes tiredly and stretched. Mac stared at him curiously. He was different from them. More vibrant and whole. He stood up and looked out ahead at nothing in particular. She rose with him and whispered,"Clay?"
Harm also stepped over next to Clay and waved his hand in front of his face to get his attention. "Hey, Webb!"
"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Clay smiled brightly and began to walk away.
"Clay, wait! Don't go!" Mac called after him.
Clay stopped and then looked at her sadly, "I'm sorry, Sarah, but I'm not the key to your freedom. Your key to eternal rest lies within yourself. I have to go."
"Lies within myself?" Mac repeated, shocked her theory had been blown out of the water. She waited all this time to talk to Clay and now he was the one getting what she wanted? He was getting eternal rest? She stopped him again and asked frustrated, "How long do I have to wait to be at peace? Why is this so simple for you?"
Clay looked at her and rested his hand on her shoulder, "You have been dead for ten years and have suffered through an unimaginable existence. Believe it or not, I was dead too and I too was suffering. The only difference was, I was dead on the inside. So you see, it was never simple for me either."
"You're not making any sense," Harm called out to him, then a wave of harshly, bright light hit them. They both squinted their eyes, for it was nearly blinding them and it forced them to back away. Once they could see again, Clay was walking into the light. He turned to them and waved one last time and said, "You know that I love you, Sarah! That's all that matters!"
Then he was swallowed by the light and was gone forever. Harm blinked his eyes to rid himself of the spots, while Mac blinked tears away. They turned around and saw Jason had shut Clay's eyes for good. Mattie had finally come out of the house and was covering her mouth in surprise at the sudden death of the CIA agent.
A few hours passed by and the coroner took Clay away. They would later learn Clayton Webb died of alcohol poisoning and other health complications further complicated by the alcohol. His doctor said, with his drinking habits and other problems, his death had been a long time coming.
He was 53 years old.
To be continued...