Author: Charlie
Email:
Fandom: View Askew
Pairing: Hooper/Banky
Rating: PG
Continuity: Post Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back
Disclaimer: All things Askew are property of the man himself, Kevin Smith. I bow to him. I'd also like to give him hugs, and think that he'd make a great Santa.
Also: All comics and comic creators mentioned within are property of their own trademarks and I have nothing but respect for them all.
Except Chuck Austen.
For: Katie. Merry Christmas! And I hope you have a wonderful New Year :)

"You... and Banky... since... what?" Holden managed to get out.

"I don't see what's so surprising," Hooper replied calmly, rifling through a box of Uncanny X-Men comics before pulling out a recent issue. "Did you know that Northstar's back in regular continuity?"

"Really?" Holden reached for the issue before catching himself and narrowing his eyes. "Don't change the subject," he pouted. "I just come back here for this stupid movie premiere and find my ex-best friend has turned gay and moved in with Mister White Hating Coon himself? And you think I wouldn't want to know what happened?"

Hooper snorted while flicking through the pages. "Honey, there was nothing to turn. Just because you were all caught up in the lesbian, you couldn't notice what was staring you in the face…" He trailed off and read a few panels before snorting again. "Chuck Austen is a hack. I could piss a better story arc. In my sleep." He placed the issue back in the box and nodded at the dealer.

"That doesn't explain anything!" Holden said, exasperated.

Hooper turned to Holden and grabbed his chin. "Let me put it in simple terms for you, McNeil – you snooze, you loose."

Holden threw his hands up in defeat. "And what the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Were you always this stupid?"

"That doesn't answer my question," Holden sighed.

Hooper raised an eyebrow. "Really? It answers mine." He spied a box of back issues of Lenore and headed in that direction.

Holden gazed skyward, and begged for strength, before taking off after Hooper again.

"What do you think of Vasquez?" Hooper asked, holding up an issue of Filler Bunny for appraisal.

"Overrated," Holden replied, grinding his teeth.

"I've got your number, jealous boy." Hooper smirked. "You're just sore that he polled higher than you in Wizard's independent special."

"Am not," Holden sulked. "Anyway," he continued. "Quit changing the subject on me! We're talking about Banky!"

"You're talking about Banky," Hooper shot back. "We're at a comic fair, so I'm talking about comics."

Holden sighed the sigh of a man who has just realised he has been met in argument, measured and been found wanting. He was never going to get anything out of Hooper. Nothing at all.

"Just tell me one thing," he said, sounding tired. "What did you mean by 'you snooze you loose'?"

Hooper smiled. "It means score one for the black man," he said, and started to walk away.

"Goddamn it," Holden sighed. But then again, maybe this turn of events could make another great comic...