"We need to get back to Hogwarts," Harry said.

"And why should I let you do that?" Artemis asked. "A pair of wizards would be very useful in my schemes. Robbing banks, holding world leaders hostage for ransom, infiltrating Haven..."

"Because if you don't help us," Hermione warned as she took her wand out of her pocket, "I'll turn your brain into mush."

Harry laughed.

Artemis, on the other hand, was not amused. "Juliet, please remove her wand." Juliet began to comply, but before she had taken two steps Hermione sprung into action.

"Petrificus Totalis!" Juliet fell to the floor, unable to move.

"Bring her back this instant!" demanded Artemis.

"Why would I do that?" Hermione inquired.

"Because-" Artemis began to make a threat, then saw Hermione making an ominous motion towards him with her wand. "Fine. I'll help."

"Promise?"

"Cross my heart, hope to-" Artemis thought for a moment. "I promise."

Hermione smiled. "Excellent."

"Will you release Juliet now?" asked Artemis.

"Since you asked so nicely, yes." Hermione reversed the spell and Juliet stood up unsteadily. "Now, we need to get back to Hogwarts."

"I said that five minutes ago!" exclaimed Harry.

"Yes, well that was before Artemis' futile attempt to make us his evil minions," Hermione reminded him. "The problem is, we don't even know where Hogwarts is. And there are all kinds of charms and spells protecting it-"

"Platform 9 ¾?"

"Closed. What about the Dursleys'?"

"Are you kidding?!"

"The Burrow."

"Yeah, that's it!"

"What?" wondered Artemis, who had tried to follow the conversation but found himself completely lost.

"We need to go to Britain," Hermione explained. "We have a friend there who can help us."

"That's simple enough. The jet will be ready within the hour," Artemis offered. "Excuse me if I don't accompany you, I have some-" here he glanced at Mulch, who was innocently chewing on a handful of soil from a potted plant "-important matters to attend to." He got up and left the room.

In less than an hour, Harry and Hermione were indeed seated in the jet, flying over the countryside. "What do you think of Artemis?" Hermione asked.

"Git" Harry muttered.

"Harry!" scolded Hermione. "He's brilliant! And he seemed nice enough."

Harry couldn't believe his ears. "The guy's a jerk! Besides, what about Ron?"

"You think I have a crush on Artemis!" Hermione exclaimed. "Not a chance. Although he certainly is smarter than Ron..."

It was Harry's turn to scold. "Hermione!"

"What? It was a joke!"

"I wonder if Draco knows him. I bet they're related."

"Artemis is too smart to be a Malfoy."

"He's evil enough, though. Maybe we should bring him back to Hogwarts with us, they'd tear each other apart!"

"No way. Draco would be history within an hour."

"Maybe Artemis is a vampire. It makes sense- the pale skin, the nasty disposition, the dead bodies in the closet..."

Hermione giggled. "That's horrible!"

Harry was just about to speak again when the pilot of the jet called back to them. "Here we are! At least, these are the right coordinates. Doesn't look like much of anything to me."

Harry and Hermione looked out the window. "This is the place," Harry confirmed. "See, there's the hill with all the trees."

"And there's that little brook," Hermione pointed out. "But where's the house?"

"I don't see it," said Harry. "It doesn't look like it's ever been here."

"Maybe it hasn't."

"Are you saying..."

"Alternate universes?" Artemis repeated when Hermione and Harry got back to Fowl Manor and explained their situation.

"We didn't even know they existed," Hermione said.

"And now we have no idea how to get back," added Harry.

"Fortunately for you, I know someone who does. At least, if he doesn't, no one will," Artemis said, dialing a number on his cell phone. His mind was already exploring the moneymaking possibilities of this newly discovered alternate universe. "Foaly? It's Artemis Fowl. You remember me,right? I thought so. Listen, I have a proposition for you..."

"Let me get this straight," Foaly said. "You want me to send those...wizard children, or whatever they are, back to their own world."

"Correct."

"And in exchange, you would return the fairy technology that you have somehow gotten your hands on once again."

"Correct."

Foaly laughed. "First of all, who's to say you haven't already begun distributing and exploiting that technology? And even if we do have the capabilities to do what you're suggesting, Commander Root would never approve."

"Damn right I wouldn't," Commander Julius Root said as he entered Foaly's office. "Tell Fowl to hand over that technology or we'll blow his little mansion off the face of the earth!"

"Is that you, Root?" Artemis said. "I can almost hear your face turning red."

"Now Artemis," Foaly said, "I'm sure we can agree on some sort of-" he glanced at Root, whose face was indeed turning a lovely shade of scarlet "-mutually beneficial scenario. Perhaps Commander Root would consent to send a team-"

"Absolutely not!" Root roared.

"Did I neglect to mention," Artemis said, "that I recently found a dwarf by the name of Mulch Diggums lurking around inside my house? And don't you have some law against entering the homes of 'Mud People'? I bet you'd love to have him back in custody."

Root was fuming. He muttered something to Foaly through gritted teeth and stormed out of the room.

"Officer Short will be there in a few hours, Artemis. Foaly out."

Artemis smiled and hung up. "Harry, Hermione, follow me."

Thanks everyone for the reviews! I am currently in the process of making minor formatting adjustments for improved readability. If anyone has any questions, comments, or suggestions, I would be happy to hear them. Reviews, as always, are much appreciated. Merci beaucoup! -Luna