Chapter the second: Delta Airlines: As if YOU could do better!

VVD: HELL-O-O-O-O-O-O-O!!! And welcome back to Mega Mobius! I should explain right now that I am a HUGE Otaku (Anime-crazed individual) and I wish to give a public service announcement on behalf of anybody who has at any time been tortured by butchered Japanese Animation.

Sonic: Kids, I'm here to warn you about something that will kill you faster than drugs or guns: The English-dubbed version of Nausicaa of the Valley of Wind. This dub was SO freakin' bad, that The Great Miyazaki-sama himself told his Amerika-jin fans not to see the English version. It's not even the same movie. In fact, this version was SUCH a stinkbomb, that the author of this fic hasn't even watched it. She's just working with what all serious Otaku say on message boards. If you are a true Otaku, you WILL NOT watch the butchered version. It is a SIN to look upon this raped masterpiece. If you have, get to a church confessional and confess your misdeed. There's still time. This also goes for the Edited DBZ, Cardcaptors, and the American TV version of Sailor Moon. Arigato Gozaimasu

A message from all Otaku everywhere.

And NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW… Back to the funny stuff!

THE REAL CHAPTER 2

"Ungggh… jee-ZUS! What the hell did I drink?" Sonic woke up in an airplane seat.

"So you're up." Tails said next to him, reading a back issue of Popular Mechanics.

"Um… Why are we in a plane?"

"I wanted to check out un-dubbed anime." Said Rouge.

"I needed a break from Knuckles' trunk." Said Xiaoran from the row behind them.

"Otherwise there'd be no story." Tails said.

"You kidnapped me!" said a trussed Kotone. "But I really like being tied up by YOU, Shippo-kun."

"Of all the obsessed fangirls I could have, WHY did I get a bondage freak?"

"Why am I here?" Sonic wanted to know.

"Well" said Tails, "I asked you if you wanted to come, and you puked, so I took that as a yes"

Meanwhile, a flight attendant strolled by to see Sonic making good use of the emergency phone.

"Um… Sir? It is against airline policy for me to let you strangle your sidekick with that phone cord."

"Just give me five more minutes with him."

Suddenly, Amy pops up from across the aisle with Shadow.

"SONIKKU-KUN! Fancy meeting you here!"

Sonic continued to strangle Tails, only now, he was also whacking him in the head with the phone. By the time the stewardess got Sonic to calm down, Tails had a bloody nose, a bloody lip, a black eye, and a ring of bruises around his little neck.

"Et tu Sonic? Then fall Tails!" Then Tails fainted.

Suddenly, the captain came on the speaker.

"Good afternoon, Passengers, and welcome to Delta Airlines! This marks our 15th no-crashes mark, and I believe we've broken the-"

There was a barely audible whisper in the background.

"Strike that, This marks the beginning of an attempted 15 no-crashes streak. Enjoy your flight, and if you're sitting on the right side of the plane, please look to your LEFT!"

The plane began to taxi… then broke down. The speaker was still on.

"Oh, (REEEEEALLY long drawn out bleep with Sonic attempting to cover Tails' ears, though he's passed out.)!!!"

"Um… sir, you have to let go of the button…"

"Oh, Shi-" It cut off right there.

Our heroes were sitting in their seats wondering what to do while the plane was grounded. Finally Sonic sighed.

"I wish I were out there."

"Why?" asked Rouge. "Scared of flying?"

"No, I wanna see them repair the plane! Those must be some big-ass jumper cables!"

"You moron, they don't use jumper cables on a-"

As Rouge spoke, a flatbed pickup drove by with a HUGE pair of jumper cables.

"0o I'll be damned…" Said Rouge.

(A/N: Yes I KNOW that was a stupid joke, but how could I resist?)

Suddenly, Tails woke up.

"THE SKY IS FULL OF WHAT LOOKS LIKE HUGE BATS! HOLY JEEZUS WHAT ARE THESE GODDAMN ANIMALS? YAAAAAAAAAAH! THERE'S ONE RIGHT THERE!"

Tails began to whack Rouge over and over again with the aforementioned magazine.

"Ow! Gad-YAAAH! STOP THAT, YOU VULPINE BERSERKER!"

Tails dropped his magazine and clung to Sonic.

"Jesus God Almighty, look at that big one! She's spotted us!"

Sonic just looked at him and blinked twice.

"Tails, please, just go to sleep until the ride is over and you'll be fine by the time we get to our destination."

"I cannot sl33p with the forces of 3vi1 sitting next to us!"

"Oh, crap." Said Shadow. "He's speaking L33t."

"I can handle this." Said Sonic, and he turned to Tails.

"0 4y, 1i1 br0, j0o 5 0ur $$3$, 50 /-y 0'7 j0o 74 3 1i7713 4p 0/, 0 4y?"

(Loose Translation: Okay, your work here is done, so rest up some, capice?)

Tails Shook his head. "0, I (407 5133p u7i1 I -4/3 R0x0r3 t3h B0x0rz 0f 7h3 3/i1 ()3Z. I3, f00lz, i3!!!

(Loose Translation: No, I must finish the adversary! PREPARE TO DEFEND YOURSELF!!!)

"0! 137 /3 74 3 0/3r 4 J0o. I 5773 1I 3 Y0urz, B477l3 /0u1 01y 134 70 /4D B34td0wnz."

(Loose Translation: No! You are too weak! You would only be defeated! Let me take your place!)

"() , G'ig#7."

(Loose Translation: Okay. Good Night.)

Suddenly, The intercom came on.

"This is your Captain, Um... I've got good news and bad news..."

"Oh, (Shirt W/out the "r")..." Said Sonic

Vividoll: Doncha just HATE Cliffhangers?