Disclaimer: I do not own Newsies. Or half the information of this story, half is owned by Rubix The Cube because this is what we RPed about. And she came up with half and I came up with the other half. I share all claims to this story with her.
This one is up in a hurry. I was thinking about it last night and I was like 'yeah I really wanna write it like NOW!' Haha! Not to mention that I'm home sick today, and I have a lot of time on my hands, which I'm not supposed to use on the computer because my computer is in the basement and it's freaking cold down here. :shrugs: I mean, I have a blanket with me, isn't that okay Mom? Alright, on to the story!
Tomorrow! Tomorrow! I hate ya, tomorrow! You're always a fucking day a way! Tomorrow! Tomorrow! Go fuck yourself tomorrow! I'm gonna kill you, tomorrow! Just go and die!
I hate tomorrows! Blah, if you can't tell. But unfortunately they have to come sometime. I didn't even want to fucking go to sleep last night because I knew that once I fell asleep, the time would go way fast and I wasn't ready for it to go. I still haven't decided what I was gonna say to Snitch anyway! I haven't decided what I was going to do, or wear, or eat, or whatever! I'm so unprepared!
Oh look! It's 5 AM now. Time for me to fucking get up! Damn. Well, everyone knew that it was going to happen. They always say God never promises us tomorrow, yet we still get it. Why couldn't the world have ended last night?!? That would have made everything so easy! No it wouldn't, because then I'd be in Hell right now, instead of Heaven, which is where I want to be in. Oh well, I have more important shit in my life right now to worry about than Heaven and Hell (dude, that'll like totally get me into Hell!).
Time travels by so quickly and before I knew it, I was getting into my car and heading to school. Snitch always got to school early. I'd see him sitting on the benches outside school either reading a book, or writing in his notebook. Shit, of all mornings that he could be late, why can't it be this morning?
...I know what I'll do. Yeah, I'll do that! I went to the other parking lot behind the school, so I wouldn't have to run into Snitch. The plan worked, kinda, but then I realized I had my old 'friends' there who always hung out in the back. Damn it. What do you do now, Trig?
"Hey Trigger! Where did you go yesterday?" My one friend Madde said to me. Shit, where the hell did I go yesterday? Wait, I'm not talking to them, that's right. I walked right passed my posse and headed wherever the hell I could. "Trig, wait up." Madde said as she followed me. "You left school early yesterday, you didn't sit with us at lunch and you were kissing that dork kid. What's up with you?"
What's up with me? What's up with you, bitch? "I'm so sick..."
"Do you need a tissue?" She interrupted me.
"Would you shut up and let me finish?"
"Sorry."
"Stop talking!" I yelled. I was pissed, but I don't know why. Wait, yeah I do.
"Okay!"
"Ahhh!"
"Sorry. Oh no!" She said again.
"I'm gonna hit you, bitch! Stop!" I screamed at her! Finally she was silent, which was what I wanted all fucking along! "I'm so sick of trying to impress you guys and be someone I'm not! I'm not this girl that you all think I am! I am not a princess or a queen or whatever the fuck you want to call it! I'm not this mean girl who walks around school picking on the weak ones! I'm not like that! I don't want to be like that and I won't be like that! I hate who I am now, and the only way I'm going to accept myself later in life is if I change now! So that's what I'm going to do! Madde and the rest of you bitches, fight over that throne I used to sit on, because I've left it now." I said firmly and I walked away.
"Trigger, wait. Babe, wait please." They said as they followed me.
"Go play amongst yourselves kiddies." I said, as I walked faster, leaving them standing there talking to thin air.
...Go me! I got one down and now one more to go! That one I think I'll avoid for the rest of my life!
Shit, but life doesn't work that way. Guess who happened to be looking for me in my usual hang out, and so happened to like bump into me, except not? Yeah, Snitch. Now don't get me wrong, if the incident with my dad wouldn't have happened last night, I would have been so fucking happy to see Snitch. Now that he knows, he's just gonna feel sorry for me and I'm not down with that shit. I don't want people to feel sorry for me. I've been through that my whole life and I've gotten use to it. I've accepted it. Now the fact that the secret is out and that someone knows about it and doesn't accept it, will make them feel sorry for me and when they do it makes me want to kill them. Okay, I'm over exaggerating a bit there.
...So I walked right past him without saying a word or looking at him. A lump formed in my throat and I like so wanted to cry, but I didn't.
"Trigger, wait." He said as he touched my shoulder.
"Oww!" I winced. Shit, great move you fucktard!
"Oh I'm sorry! Trig, I'm sorry." He said, as he let go quickly. "I need to talk to you." He told me.
"Snitch, what is there to talk about?"
"There's a lot to talk about, okay. You can't tell me that everything that happened yesterday, you...you didn't-it didn't mean anything?" He struggled with his words, but that was okay. I'd probably do the same thing.
"Snitch..." I said, as I pulled him over to a deserted stairwell so no one would hear anything. "Of course it meant something, Snitch. Why wouldn't it? Snitch, you know how I feel about you. I just ditched all my friends, well they weren't really my friends, but I did that so I could be with you, okay. You know, so it did mean something to me. Why didn't it mean anything to you?" Stupid question, asshole!
"Yeah! I mean..." he sighed. "I'm just not used to saying how I feel to girls, you know. It's just hard for me to like explain how I feel for some reason. But it meant a lot to me, honestly, it did. How do I... What am I... God I have such a..." He sighed again.
"It's okay, I understand." I told him as I took his hands in mine. That same feeling of protection and safety came over me. It was something I never felt before, until I felt Snitch holding me.
"God I'm such a fucking asshole."
"Why?"
"I shouldn't have walked out on you, Trig! I'll never forgive myself for letting you go through that alone!" He explained.
"It's not your battle, Snitch. It wasn't your fight. It was mine. It's always been mine."
"But I was there. I was part of the problem. If he wouldn't have come in and caught us then..."
"Snitch, it didn't matter if you were there or if you weren't there. He would have found something that pissed him off and he would have done it anyway. It's something that I'm used to. I've accepted it and that's it. I knew it was going to happen."
"Trigger that's not right!"
"It doesn't matter. It's something I have to deal with, okay."
"Listen to me, okay. Could you just hear me out for a minute please?" He asked. I looked away. "I want to help you."
"I don't want anyone's fucking help."
"No, please, just listen to me..."
"I don't need any fucking help..."
"Trigger please!" He begged, looking at me with those big hazel eyes. He was serious. He wanted to help me. Snitch I don't need your help. This is my battle, not yours. You don't deserve this, okay. I do! "Look, I was thinking about it and I figured out a way that you could get out of there."
"Snitch I don't want..."
"Just listen to me please, Trig. I'm never gonna let this thing go if you don't listen to me."
"Alright, I'll listen. But I'm not making any promises." I already made a promise to him. A subconscious promise, one deep down that I couldn't possibly explain. Something so personal, so secret, only he knew about.
"I didn't ask you to. I just...it's not right, Trig. I know now. Your secret is out, and I'm not gonna leave you. I made the mistake of doing that last night, but I'm not anymore. I'm not gonna tell anyone, but I'm not gonna let it go like it doesn't matter. Trigger it does matter! Maybe you're okay with it, but I'm not! I care about you so much! You don't understand that, but I do." Caring? I never knew what it was like to have anyone care about me. I never had anyone who cared about me. Maybe he could teach me. Maybe he could show me. "Look, I can get you out of there. I can get you out of that whole situation." He can't get me out, because I'm in. I can't get out! He doesn't understand that, I can't get out. "You can come live with me."
"Snitch, oh yeah right. What are your parents gonna think about a girl from your school living with you?"
"My mom's really nice, Trig. Once she understands the situation she'll let you stay, honestly."
"She's not gonna know the situation, Snitch."
"Look you can stay in my brother's room, okay. He's off at college and he doesn't come home like at all. We usually go up to see him, Trig, you can stay there. I'll come home with you after school, get your stuff and you could head to my house."
"What if he comes looking for me?"
"Then we'll move. Trig, please don't let him to that to you. It's not right. Trigger, I love you so much and I can't bear knowing that when you get home from school you're going to get beat!"
"It doesn't matter, Snitch. Okay, I'm fine with it."
"Well I'm not!" He yelled back at me. "Please?"
"I'm not gonna put you through that. Yeah you know. So what! I'm sorry that you had to see that, but that's the way things are. They're never going to change, whether I live with you or not. You don't understand, I've been dealing with that every day for my entire life. Once you deal with something for so long and when you're told something, you're going to start believing it. I feel that it's what's supposed to happen."
"If it was supposed to happen, then why did I have to see it? Hmm? Why was I the one that had to witness it first hand?" He asked.
"I don't know. But..."
"Trig, this is your way out. This is your way out of that hole that you've been in for so long! This may be your last chance of saving yourself." He held my hands tighter. "We'll love you, I'll love you forever and always. You'll never have to deal with the pain again. You'll never be hurt ever again. You'll have a family."
"But it's not mine." I told him. All I ever wanted was a family. But I wanted a real family. My mom, my dad, a brother or a sister, but I didn't have any of that. I never met my Mother, I don't know where the hell she is. I wish I did though. I never had a father either. He didn't give a shit about me. I don't even know if I had any siblings. It was just me, Trigger, alone living with my 'father' who doesn't care about me at all.
"But I'm yours. Isn't that enough?"
I paused and looked into his eyes. "No you're not." I whispered. I'm hurting him, I know it. I'm hurting myself, and I know it. I didn't know better. This was all I knew. The pain, the hurt, the taunts, everything! It was the only thing I knew in life. And when someone says they'll take it away, you're a little skeptical. "Snitch, I love you. And you know that. I think it's great that you want to help me, but I don't need your help. Snitch, I don't want your help. I'm very content with everything that is going on in my life right now. Well sort of. But, I mean, don't worry about anything, okay. We're together now, it's what I've always wanted."
"Don't worry? The girl I love more than God is getting beaten every night by her father; I am so going to fucking worry!"
"Look, if you want to help me then just let me be with you, okay. We can like hang out like at your house or something until, I don't know, late late at night and then I'll come home, and hopefully he'll be sleeping. Okay, that is how you can help me. What do you say?" It was the only option I could think of that moment. I mean, it was good because 1) I would be hanging with Snitch like all the fucking time and 2) I wouldn't have to deal with the devil, if you know what I mean.
"Yeah, okay." He said. It wasn't his first choice, he'd rather me live with him so I wouldn't have any chance of getting beaten, but hey, it's better than not doing anything at all.
I smiled and pulled his head down to mine and kissed him. I wrapped my arms tightly around him and just held him there for a while. "Thanks so much for understanding." I told him.
"Yeah, no problem." He said as he kissed my cheek.
When our embrace finally ended I smiled at him again. I loved being with him. I loved the person I was when I was with him. "I guess I'll see you in class."
He looked at his watch. "The bell rings in five minutes." He deciphered.
I laughed and flirted a little. "Okay. Why, what are you suggesting?"
"I don't know, I thought maybe we could hang out a little bit before the bell rings. Why, what were you suggesting?" He grinned.
"Not what you're thinking, sparky."
"Oh, I see how you are. Besides I wasn't even thinking that. You're the one who's a dirty girl." He laughed.
"You're such a loser, you know that?" I laughed.
He looked away and smiled. "So I've been told by you a few times."
"Hey." I said pulling away from him playfully. He like swatted his hand my way, which looked totally gay. It was funny though. "What the hell was that?" I said mocking his action.
"Hey if you want to make fun of me, you can go somewhere else!" He said, mocking himself from what he said yesterday.
"Okay fine." I joked. I turned around to walk away.
"I need a kiss first." He said as he pulled me back to him and kissed me.
...ahh! I love flirting. So fun!
...............
Yay! Today is a sick day and I got time to work on this. We still have....like I don't know, a few more chapters to go. Let me think. Probably like two or three, I'm not really sure. I don't know. I hope that's okay with you guys!
Anyway, I hope you like this chapter even though it wasn't as juicy as the last ones were. XD! Now for SO's:
Blue Boxer
C. M. Higgins
Fantasy 3
My Dog Ate My Penname
Shakespearean Fool
Rubix the Cube: :pokesglompskissestacklesspanksmakesoutlickslovesfeelstoucheshuggleslovessomemore: Hehe!
Splashey
Dreamer110
Scout73
...thank ya all for reading! You're all so great! Love ya! Now please go and review and I'll give you something. I don't know what yet, but whatever it is, I'll give it to you. XD