Anime's that appear in this chapter: Inuyasha, CardCaptors, Chobits
Chobits: Chi is a computer who looks like girl. The only difference between the two is her ears are not human. Her owner, Hideki, is trying to find out why people think Chi is a chobit. If you really want to know about the series e-mail me and I shall attempt to tell you, but it is very complicated. For this chapter all you really need to know is that perscom's have strange ears and Minoru is a genius perscom programmer who has a really big house.
Author note: Bob, following in the path of his idol Miroku, also decided not to tell an introduction for his chapter. Damn them, damn them all and their stupid ways!
Chapter 8: Ears
Stupid dog demon! I glared at Inuyasha through my binoculars. If Eriol hadn't appeared when he had on Gunsmoke, Inuyasha would so be stuck in the middle of no where (Literally. No where is a place where absolutely nothing exists) as I had planned. But Nooooooo, but Eriol had to travel on his own to somewhere else and then come in at the last minute and save him! Stupid dog bastard!!!
Ah well, at least for the moment, I had Inuyasha in as much torture as I could. He was currently surrounded by a rather large group of girls, all squealing and trying to touch his ears. Using my cat senses I listened to the girly talk below all while grinning madly (kind of like the cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland's World. I had the pleasure of meeting him, what a delightful little kitty!).
"OH! His ears are so soft!"
"He's so cute!"
"Who's his maker?"
"Where'd'ya get him!"
"I want one!"
"What all can he do?"
The blood slowly rose to Inuyasha's head as he went from confused to highly irritated. Ah yes, just the thing to bring him off his high and mighty pedestal. He will never treat ME like a little kid again! Bwahahahahaha, Wahahahahahaha. Oh yes, Inuyasha most certainly did not function well in the world of Chobits. Hehehehe!
I continued to watch as the famous Chi and her Hideki approached my rage inflicted Inuyasha. Minmei quickly ran forward to explain the situation and she smiled apologetically. Damn, she just had to find away to get him out of trouble didn't she?
As Hideki nodded understandingly the rest of the group came closer. Miroku stood next to Inuyasha and I could just imagine his confusion. As much as I admired him, Miroku really should have watched more Anime, then he might understand how best to deal with his situation. Ah well, his loss! Zelda conveniently chased the crowd away while Eriol scanned the roof tops.
"Well, I don't have room to house all of you, but I know someone who does." Hideki said smiling. "Chi, please send Minoru an e-mail that we're coming."
She smiled. "Okay!"
Damn. They found a place to hide. That stupid Minoru had actually agreed to let them stay at his house! On the other hand, it certainly had plenty of places for me to hide in and still watch the little group.
Zelda hid in the bathroom trying to do something to her hair. That or she followed her womanly instinct and just wanted to check out the bathroom. Miroku and Inuyasha were talking about battle plans to defeat Naraku even though they already knew exactly how he would kick the bucket. And that left Eriol and Minmei in the living room chatting, thanking, and just in general buttering up their host.
But every once in a while Eriol would pause in his sucking up and scan the room. His eyes always seemed to pause wherever I happened to be located for the moment.
All of a sudden Zelda came running into the room and screamed. "My hair! My hair!"
The four of us peered closely and saw several strands of flaming pink hair.
"Calm down Zelda, calm down. Your hair is just fine."
"But I don't HAVE pink hair! It's not natural!"
"Actually..." Eriol said slowly, "According to the Anime Laws pink hair is natural. But this," he fingered the strands. "I can sense is not..." He looked around and smiled at me. "...Something I come across often."
"See! My natural hair color is brown, not pink. I was in the bathroom trying to dye my hair blond when I saw the strands." She insisted.
Eriol began smiling sadistically. Another law had just been broken. Minmei shook her head sadly, that made a total of twenty-six broken laws. She sighed. "I need to go for a walk. Perhaps I'll look for Bob." And Minmei left.
Meanwhile, I decided to follow Miroku as he wandered about the house, going from room to room, place to place. He was very boring until he went outside. Then things got interesting.
Miroku could, apparently, gain quite a following in a very, very short amount of time. After only two blocks of walking no less then two grown women, five teenage girls, and three small children began following him. He didn't even realize it! The following doubled in number with each block he passed and soon he could no longer ignore them.
Looking over his shoulder, Miroku mumbled. "You know, it just isn't the same without the chase." He sighed.
Then the female, having seen him glance back, decided to mob him. Now as manly as Miroku was, a mob of one hundred and fifty people still caused him to run and me to laugh.
This little jaunt was turning out better then expected.
Then I spotted Minmei in a not so dark and creepy alley backing away from something with a look of horror on her face. As she and the thing came into the light, I understood why she looked so panic stricken. The man in front of her was huge! And packing more then just a little heat. He had six, SIX, huge visible guns! And teeny tiny eyes.
Hehehehehehe!
"Bob," A voice boomed around me. "This little side trip has been enjoyable, but I do believe the next crisis has occurred, Besides Zelda is currently trying to fix one of Minoru's perscom which is trying to hack Chi for some strange reason. Musical Omnipotence is not working here!"
"Okay, okay Eriol." And I snapped my fingers.
Broken Laws
# 31 Law of Follicular Chromatic Variability- Any color in the visible spectrum is considered natural hair color. This color can change without warning or explanation.
#35 Law of Musical Omnipotence- Any character capable of musical talent (singing, playing an instrument, etc.) is automatically capable of doing much more "simple" things, like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so on...especially if they have never attempted these things before.
#38 Law of Hydrostatic Emission- Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in the yes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect behind the eyes is because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the back of the head. When extremely stressed, embarrassed, or worried this sweat gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid.
#39 Law of Inverse Attraction- Success at finding suitable mates is inversely proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the less you get and vice versa.
First corollary- Unfortunately this law seems to apply to Otaku in the real world...
So, anyone confused yet? How 'bout spelling errors? anyone find any of those? Review and tell me!