***And we're going to be off again, in a short while, so be prepared for a
wild ride! Thanks to Beth S. for a great idea!***
CHAPTER 17:
((This chapter takes places a week after chapter 16. They're all sober now, and Jordan's only had one talk with Stiles so far...she's refusing to talk to him anymore. She won't really talk to anyone, except her dad, which is understandable. This chapter takes place in the Morgue.))
~~Jordan~~ Well, another day Jordan...be prepared for another round of questioning by the staff. I glanced down at my watch. Eight-twenty-one. Garret's probably arranged for Stiles to be here by eight-thirty, but I'll get the talk from him by eight-twenty-five. Better mess up my hair and looked depressed, just to make him happy... I thought to myself, as I heard the door to my office click open softly. Here goes nothing...
"Jordan? Can I come in?" Garret slowly opened my door and stepped inside.
"I take it you weren't planning on me giving permission, now were you?"
"Jordan--if you don't want me here, I'll leave. No questions asked." He started backing towards the door.
I shook my head. "You can stay, but I know you're going to ask questions. The same damn 'How are you feeling today? Are you going to talk to Howard today? Why won't you open up to us?'" I leaned back weakly in my chair and sighed. "Why do you keep doing this to me Garret?"
He stood there for a few minutes, silent. Then he spoke, his voice soft. "You think I like doing this to you Jordan?"
"With the way you do it every damn morning, you'd think you liked it!" I glared up at him from my chair. "You can't get enough of trying to break through my shell! Don't you ever just lay off?!"
As soon as I said it, I knew I shouldn't have. His face instantly fell, and he walked backwards until he hit the door frame. He turned around and opened the door, then looked back at me.
"Jordan, I'm sorry that you don't understand that I'm trying to help you. I'm sorry that I ever gave you a second chance. I'm sorry that I tried to get you to take a look at your life and realize that yes, there are people here who care about you. People who give a damn when you run off without telling anyone where you're going to, how long you'll be gone. People who want to help you. People who love you Jordan...we all love you. And I'm sorry you can't see that now, but I hope to God you figure it out as soon as you damn well can." With that, he turned his back on me and walked out of my office, slamming the door behind him.
All I could do was stare at the closed door, and I felt tears well up behind my eyes. What did I just do?
~~Garret~~ I slammed the door shut behind me and stormed away from her office, nearly shoving Peter out of the way when he came running after me, a file in hand.
"Dr. Macy? I was wondering if I could get you to sign these papers..." He pushed the files in my face.
"Not now Peter. Get someone else to sign them." I shoved them out of my face, and turned sharply into my office, where I slammed my hand down on my desk and glared up at Peter, who had a very confused look on his face.
"But, Dr. Macy, I need you to sign them." He gently set them down on my desk.
"Why?! Can't you have Nigel or Bug do it?!"
"You were the initial M.E. on the case sir--"
I grabbed a pen and quickly scrawled my signature on the sheets of paper, then shoved it back at him. "There. Now get out."
"Yes Dr. Macy. Sorry to bother you." He turned and nearly went running out the door, which I slammed behind him.
I walked over to my couch, and collapsed on it, my heart still pounding in my chest, my breathing still shaking my whole body. I bent my head to my chest and rubbed the back of my neck with my hand, then I laid down, and stared at the ceiling. I needed to talk to someone. I just didn't know who.
~~Nigel~~ I caught a glance of Peter running out of Dr. M's office, and I was bloody as all hell confused at all the door slamming and cursing going on, so I grabbed Peter by the arm as he walked by.
"Peter? What the hell just happened in there?"
He was visibly shaken. "I don't know, but Macy is NOT in a good mood. I wouldn't suggest going in there without a police escort."
"He mad?"
"Tried to tear my head off when I asked him to sign these release forms."
"Alright. You seen Jordan?" I looked towards her office, the shades were drawn shut, and it looked like the lights were off.
"Check her office, Macy came bursting out of there a minute ago." He grabbed a handful of pens out of the mug on Bug's desk. "I needed more of these..."
"Thanks Mate. I'll watch out for Dr. M." With that, I turned and walked down the hallway to the door of Jordan's office. I knocked softly on the door, and with no answer, I pushed it open and peeked inside.
"Go away." I heard her voice come from somewhere inside.
"Jordan? You alright Luv?" I stepped into the office, and waited for my eyes to adjust to the darkness.
"I don't want no damn peace offerings from Garret, so get the hell out." I heard her sniffle back a few sobs, then I saw her curled up in her big chair.
"I'm not bringing peace offerings...Jordan...what happened?" I walked over and knelt by her side. "What's wrong?"
She looked at me, her eyes full of tears, and she bit her lip to keep from crying out. "I'm...an ungrateful bitch..." As soon as the words escaped her mouth, she broke down, sobbing uncontrollably.
I was shocked. "What did you just say? Jordan. Don't you dare say that. Ever."
"I don't care that people love me...I'm an ungrateful spoiled bitch." She pulled her arms close to her chest. "I don't deserve you guys..."
I grabbed her wrists and pulled them onto my chest. "Jordan...why the hell are you saying this..." I tried to get her to look me in the eyes, but she wouldn't.
"Nigel...I don't deserve all this...I don't deserve to live anymore..." She dropped her head to her chest, and curled up in a ball and sobbed her heart out.
I picked her up gently, then sat on the chair, her on my lap. I held her tight, and let her cry onto my shoulder. "Jordan...don't you ever say that again." I picked her head up and stared her in the eyes.
"But Nigel, I deserve to die like the rest of the damn people in Boston! Why can't I be in one of those drawers?! Why did Woody get to die?!" She glared at me, her eyes full of pain.
"I won't let you be in one of those drawers Jordan. If you ever tried to hurt yourself, I couldn't let myself deal with it. You know Woody didn't mean to die Luv...he wanted to be with you..." I was dead shocked, that she would ever say something like that, to my face at least.
"But you shouldn't care Nigel...no one should..." She snuggled up to my arm and sniffled. "I'm not worth it..."
I held her tightly in a hug, and shook my head. "You're worth everything...everything...and don't let anyone tell you different...not even Garret..." I looked out the door of her office to see Lily standing and peeking in the window, making the motion of talking on the phone. I shook my head at her, and she nodded and walked away. This was much more important.
~~Garret~~ As I laid on the couch, I felt my entire body become more and more tense...I could still hear my head pounding...and I was beginning to feel like I was getting hammered by hundreds of baseball bats all over the damn place. I didn't even bother to look up when I heard my door open, but when I heard the infamous voice of Howard Stiles, I groaned to myself. Why God...why now? "Hello Howard."
"Why hello Garret! Sleeping on the job already?" He quickly made himself comfortable in the chair next to my couch. "Have we made any progress on Jordan yet today?"
Funny...how would you describe progress... I shook my head. "Not really...I just made things worse...as usual..."
He raised an eyebrow at me. "Worse? What did you do? Kill another one of her friends?" He laughed...that annoying laugh that I hated deep inside, and I almost got up and smacked him.
"I did NOT kill Woodrow. I am not responsible for her. She doesn't want my help, she won't get it. Don't you DARE think differently Howard..." I sank down into the couch and covered my face with my arm.
"Garret...I didn't mean it that way...I'm sorry." He reached out to try and touch my shoulder, but I swatted his hand away.
"Don't touch me."
"Alright...no need to get snappy with me. I'm only here to help as well..."
"Then help." I shut my eyes weakly.
"Do you have anything you need to get off your chest...anything at all?"
I shifted uncomfortably, then nodded. "Well, for the past week or so...I've been having these nightmares..."
"About what?" He leaned towards me.
"About Woody."
~~Jordan~~ I must have cried to Nigel for at least an hour...maybe longer. He held me the entire time...I was exhausted when I finished. I couldn't even get up on my own...he had to pick me up and set me on my chair.
"Jordan? You want to go home?" Nigel gently touched me on the shoulder.
I shook my head. "I don't trust myself to be alone...not now..."
He nodded. "Your Dad's place?"
"He's out of town."
"Then you're coming to my place. You need to sleep, and you can have my bed." He stood up and grabbed my coat. "Come on."
"But...it's only ten-thirty..."
"No one's died yet today Luv, and Bug and Peter and Dr. M. are here. Let's go. I'm not letting you drive."
I looked up at him and wiped a few stray tears out of her eyes. "Fine. I'll come." I stood up weakly, and put on my coat, then headed for the door.
"Alright, I'll tell Lily on the way out, and we'll be good to go!" He opened the door for me, then placed an arm around my shoulder and walked me out to the lobby, where he stopped and told Lily what was going on.
"So, if I get needed, just page me, but try to get Bug or Peter to cover for me okay?"
Lily smiled at him. "Sure thing Nigel. Jordan, you feel better, and get some rest."
As we walked away, I whispered up at Nigel. "What did you tell her, that I had the flu?"
"No, the chicken pox." He winked at me, then pressed the button for the elevator.
I nudged him playfully. "Thanks Nige."
"For what Jordan?" He stepped onto the elevator as the doors slid open, and helped me in. "Parking level...one." He pressed the button, then looked over at me.
"For being there for when I needed you most."
"You never had to ask, I was always there, and I always will be." He pulled me close to his side, and we rode the elevator to the bottom floor, where we walked out and climbed into his truck.
"Are we going to be attacked by your dog?"
He laughed. "Probably. He has a thing for sad people. Which we both are..."
"Good. I could use a good licking..." I winked at him.
"Jordan...don't you even get me started..."
~~Garret~~ Here I was...spilling my guts out to our resident shrink...acting like a complete fool, but I didn't even care.
"So...these are always the same dreams. You seeing Woody kill himself."
I nodded. "He hands me the gun first. He wants ME to kill him."
"But you don't?" He stared at me.
"I tell him I can't. Then he takes the gun back, and kills himself." I swallowed hard. "I see him blow his damn brains out...every time..." I felt my voice crack, and I started to shake.
"Every time? You see it? What do you see? Have you told Jordan about this?"
"What do you think I see?! I see him hold his gun up to his head and pull the trigger! I see his head dissolve into pieces! I see his brains hit the wall! I see him die! What do you think I see Howard?! And hell no, I haven't told Jordan about this!" I stood up off the couch and walked over to the door to my office and stood there, seething.
"Now, Garret, I need you to sit down and explain in detail what you see..."
"I HAVE explained it Howard!" I turned and sent my fist flying through the glass on my door, shattering it completely. "What MORE do you want me to say?!?!" I flung the door open, and stood staring at him.
"Garret. You need to calm yourself down. This is all going on your psychiatric report. You need to keep that in mind. Please sit back down and let me finish the session."
"I...I am finished Howard. It's been a pleasure talking to you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have places to go." I turned and walked out of the room, ignoring the searing pain in my hand and arm, and quickly headed for the elevators.
As soon as I came around the corner from my office, I was met by the shocked stares of Bug, Peter, Emmy, and Lily.
Lily cautiously took a step towards me. "Garret...you need help for your arm..."
I held up my hand. "Just...don't touch me." I glanced around at the other people. "What?! You've never seen blood before? Get back to work?!"
They all nodded, and scurried off, except Lily, who I turned and stared at. "Where's Jordan?"
"She...left with Nigel about an hour ago...he took her back to his apartment so she could get some rest, she looked pretty tired."
"To his apartment?" I reached down a pulled a large chunk of glass out of my arm and let it fall to the floor.
"Yes. At least that's what he said..." She looked up at me nervously.
"Alright. I have someone I need to go talk to." I turned and yanked another bloody shard of glass out of my arm.
"Garret, please, you need to go to the hospital..." She stepped towards me.
"I need tell Jordan the truth." I dropped the shard of glass on the counter, then I walked out of the lobby and got onto the elevator. As the doors slid shut behind me, I could only imagine what I had to do next.
TO BE CONTINUED:
***I know, this may have been odd, but don't worry, it'll all get resolved soon! Thanks for reading!!!***
CHAPTER 17:
((This chapter takes places a week after chapter 16. They're all sober now, and Jordan's only had one talk with Stiles so far...she's refusing to talk to him anymore. She won't really talk to anyone, except her dad, which is understandable. This chapter takes place in the Morgue.))
~~Jordan~~ Well, another day Jordan...be prepared for another round of questioning by the staff. I glanced down at my watch. Eight-twenty-one. Garret's probably arranged for Stiles to be here by eight-thirty, but I'll get the talk from him by eight-twenty-five. Better mess up my hair and looked depressed, just to make him happy... I thought to myself, as I heard the door to my office click open softly. Here goes nothing...
"Jordan? Can I come in?" Garret slowly opened my door and stepped inside.
"I take it you weren't planning on me giving permission, now were you?"
"Jordan--if you don't want me here, I'll leave. No questions asked." He started backing towards the door.
I shook my head. "You can stay, but I know you're going to ask questions. The same damn 'How are you feeling today? Are you going to talk to Howard today? Why won't you open up to us?'" I leaned back weakly in my chair and sighed. "Why do you keep doing this to me Garret?"
He stood there for a few minutes, silent. Then he spoke, his voice soft. "You think I like doing this to you Jordan?"
"With the way you do it every damn morning, you'd think you liked it!" I glared up at him from my chair. "You can't get enough of trying to break through my shell! Don't you ever just lay off?!"
As soon as I said it, I knew I shouldn't have. His face instantly fell, and he walked backwards until he hit the door frame. He turned around and opened the door, then looked back at me.
"Jordan, I'm sorry that you don't understand that I'm trying to help you. I'm sorry that I ever gave you a second chance. I'm sorry that I tried to get you to take a look at your life and realize that yes, there are people here who care about you. People who give a damn when you run off without telling anyone where you're going to, how long you'll be gone. People who want to help you. People who love you Jordan...we all love you. And I'm sorry you can't see that now, but I hope to God you figure it out as soon as you damn well can." With that, he turned his back on me and walked out of my office, slamming the door behind him.
All I could do was stare at the closed door, and I felt tears well up behind my eyes. What did I just do?
~~Garret~~ I slammed the door shut behind me and stormed away from her office, nearly shoving Peter out of the way when he came running after me, a file in hand.
"Dr. Macy? I was wondering if I could get you to sign these papers..." He pushed the files in my face.
"Not now Peter. Get someone else to sign them." I shoved them out of my face, and turned sharply into my office, where I slammed my hand down on my desk and glared up at Peter, who had a very confused look on his face.
"But, Dr. Macy, I need you to sign them." He gently set them down on my desk.
"Why?! Can't you have Nigel or Bug do it?!"
"You were the initial M.E. on the case sir--"
I grabbed a pen and quickly scrawled my signature on the sheets of paper, then shoved it back at him. "There. Now get out."
"Yes Dr. Macy. Sorry to bother you." He turned and nearly went running out the door, which I slammed behind him.
I walked over to my couch, and collapsed on it, my heart still pounding in my chest, my breathing still shaking my whole body. I bent my head to my chest and rubbed the back of my neck with my hand, then I laid down, and stared at the ceiling. I needed to talk to someone. I just didn't know who.
~~Nigel~~ I caught a glance of Peter running out of Dr. M's office, and I was bloody as all hell confused at all the door slamming and cursing going on, so I grabbed Peter by the arm as he walked by.
"Peter? What the hell just happened in there?"
He was visibly shaken. "I don't know, but Macy is NOT in a good mood. I wouldn't suggest going in there without a police escort."
"He mad?"
"Tried to tear my head off when I asked him to sign these release forms."
"Alright. You seen Jordan?" I looked towards her office, the shades were drawn shut, and it looked like the lights were off.
"Check her office, Macy came bursting out of there a minute ago." He grabbed a handful of pens out of the mug on Bug's desk. "I needed more of these..."
"Thanks Mate. I'll watch out for Dr. M." With that, I turned and walked down the hallway to the door of Jordan's office. I knocked softly on the door, and with no answer, I pushed it open and peeked inside.
"Go away." I heard her voice come from somewhere inside.
"Jordan? You alright Luv?" I stepped into the office, and waited for my eyes to adjust to the darkness.
"I don't want no damn peace offerings from Garret, so get the hell out." I heard her sniffle back a few sobs, then I saw her curled up in her big chair.
"I'm not bringing peace offerings...Jordan...what happened?" I walked over and knelt by her side. "What's wrong?"
She looked at me, her eyes full of tears, and she bit her lip to keep from crying out. "I'm...an ungrateful bitch..." As soon as the words escaped her mouth, she broke down, sobbing uncontrollably.
I was shocked. "What did you just say? Jordan. Don't you dare say that. Ever."
"I don't care that people love me...I'm an ungrateful spoiled bitch." She pulled her arms close to her chest. "I don't deserve you guys..."
I grabbed her wrists and pulled them onto my chest. "Jordan...why the hell are you saying this..." I tried to get her to look me in the eyes, but she wouldn't.
"Nigel...I don't deserve all this...I don't deserve to live anymore..." She dropped her head to her chest, and curled up in a ball and sobbed her heart out.
I picked her up gently, then sat on the chair, her on my lap. I held her tight, and let her cry onto my shoulder. "Jordan...don't you ever say that again." I picked her head up and stared her in the eyes.
"But Nigel, I deserve to die like the rest of the damn people in Boston! Why can't I be in one of those drawers?! Why did Woody get to die?!" She glared at me, her eyes full of pain.
"I won't let you be in one of those drawers Jordan. If you ever tried to hurt yourself, I couldn't let myself deal with it. You know Woody didn't mean to die Luv...he wanted to be with you..." I was dead shocked, that she would ever say something like that, to my face at least.
"But you shouldn't care Nigel...no one should..." She snuggled up to my arm and sniffled. "I'm not worth it..."
I held her tightly in a hug, and shook my head. "You're worth everything...everything...and don't let anyone tell you different...not even Garret..." I looked out the door of her office to see Lily standing and peeking in the window, making the motion of talking on the phone. I shook my head at her, and she nodded and walked away. This was much more important.
~~Garret~~ As I laid on the couch, I felt my entire body become more and more tense...I could still hear my head pounding...and I was beginning to feel like I was getting hammered by hundreds of baseball bats all over the damn place. I didn't even bother to look up when I heard my door open, but when I heard the infamous voice of Howard Stiles, I groaned to myself. Why God...why now? "Hello Howard."
"Why hello Garret! Sleeping on the job already?" He quickly made himself comfortable in the chair next to my couch. "Have we made any progress on Jordan yet today?"
Funny...how would you describe progress... I shook my head. "Not really...I just made things worse...as usual..."
He raised an eyebrow at me. "Worse? What did you do? Kill another one of her friends?" He laughed...that annoying laugh that I hated deep inside, and I almost got up and smacked him.
"I did NOT kill Woodrow. I am not responsible for her. She doesn't want my help, she won't get it. Don't you DARE think differently Howard..." I sank down into the couch and covered my face with my arm.
"Garret...I didn't mean it that way...I'm sorry." He reached out to try and touch my shoulder, but I swatted his hand away.
"Don't touch me."
"Alright...no need to get snappy with me. I'm only here to help as well..."
"Then help." I shut my eyes weakly.
"Do you have anything you need to get off your chest...anything at all?"
I shifted uncomfortably, then nodded. "Well, for the past week or so...I've been having these nightmares..."
"About what?" He leaned towards me.
"About Woody."
~~Jordan~~ I must have cried to Nigel for at least an hour...maybe longer. He held me the entire time...I was exhausted when I finished. I couldn't even get up on my own...he had to pick me up and set me on my chair.
"Jordan? You want to go home?" Nigel gently touched me on the shoulder.
I shook my head. "I don't trust myself to be alone...not now..."
He nodded. "Your Dad's place?"
"He's out of town."
"Then you're coming to my place. You need to sleep, and you can have my bed." He stood up and grabbed my coat. "Come on."
"But...it's only ten-thirty..."
"No one's died yet today Luv, and Bug and Peter and Dr. M. are here. Let's go. I'm not letting you drive."
I looked up at him and wiped a few stray tears out of her eyes. "Fine. I'll come." I stood up weakly, and put on my coat, then headed for the door.
"Alright, I'll tell Lily on the way out, and we'll be good to go!" He opened the door for me, then placed an arm around my shoulder and walked me out to the lobby, where he stopped and told Lily what was going on.
"So, if I get needed, just page me, but try to get Bug or Peter to cover for me okay?"
Lily smiled at him. "Sure thing Nigel. Jordan, you feel better, and get some rest."
As we walked away, I whispered up at Nigel. "What did you tell her, that I had the flu?"
"No, the chicken pox." He winked at me, then pressed the button for the elevator.
I nudged him playfully. "Thanks Nige."
"For what Jordan?" He stepped onto the elevator as the doors slid open, and helped me in. "Parking level...one." He pressed the button, then looked over at me.
"For being there for when I needed you most."
"You never had to ask, I was always there, and I always will be." He pulled me close to his side, and we rode the elevator to the bottom floor, where we walked out and climbed into his truck.
"Are we going to be attacked by your dog?"
He laughed. "Probably. He has a thing for sad people. Which we both are..."
"Good. I could use a good licking..." I winked at him.
"Jordan...don't you even get me started..."
~~Garret~~ Here I was...spilling my guts out to our resident shrink...acting like a complete fool, but I didn't even care.
"So...these are always the same dreams. You seeing Woody kill himself."
I nodded. "He hands me the gun first. He wants ME to kill him."
"But you don't?" He stared at me.
"I tell him I can't. Then he takes the gun back, and kills himself." I swallowed hard. "I see him blow his damn brains out...every time..." I felt my voice crack, and I started to shake.
"Every time? You see it? What do you see? Have you told Jordan about this?"
"What do you think I see?! I see him hold his gun up to his head and pull the trigger! I see his head dissolve into pieces! I see his brains hit the wall! I see him die! What do you think I see Howard?! And hell no, I haven't told Jordan about this!" I stood up off the couch and walked over to the door to my office and stood there, seething.
"Now, Garret, I need you to sit down and explain in detail what you see..."
"I HAVE explained it Howard!" I turned and sent my fist flying through the glass on my door, shattering it completely. "What MORE do you want me to say?!?!" I flung the door open, and stood staring at him.
"Garret. You need to calm yourself down. This is all going on your psychiatric report. You need to keep that in mind. Please sit back down and let me finish the session."
"I...I am finished Howard. It's been a pleasure talking to you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have places to go." I turned and walked out of the room, ignoring the searing pain in my hand and arm, and quickly headed for the elevators.
As soon as I came around the corner from my office, I was met by the shocked stares of Bug, Peter, Emmy, and Lily.
Lily cautiously took a step towards me. "Garret...you need help for your arm..."
I held up my hand. "Just...don't touch me." I glanced around at the other people. "What?! You've never seen blood before? Get back to work?!"
They all nodded, and scurried off, except Lily, who I turned and stared at. "Where's Jordan?"
"She...left with Nigel about an hour ago...he took her back to his apartment so she could get some rest, she looked pretty tired."
"To his apartment?" I reached down a pulled a large chunk of glass out of my arm and let it fall to the floor.
"Yes. At least that's what he said..." She looked up at me nervously.
"Alright. I have someone I need to go talk to." I turned and yanked another bloody shard of glass out of my arm.
"Garret, please, you need to go to the hospital..." She stepped towards me.
"I need tell Jordan the truth." I dropped the shard of glass on the counter, then I walked out of the lobby and got onto the elevator. As the doors slid shut behind me, I could only imagine what I had to do next.
TO BE CONTINUED:
***I know, this may have been odd, but don't worry, it'll all get resolved soon! Thanks for reading!!!***