Disclaimer: I do not own Newsies.Or half the information of this story, half is owned by Rubix the Cube because this is what we RPed about. And she came up with half and I came up with the other half. I share all claims to this story with her
Dude I don't know what to say. Homecoming is coming up soon. I'm so excited to go with Kyle. You guys have no fucking clue how excited I am and how happy I am that my life is finally being pieced back together by a lovely wonderful boy named Kyle. No I'm kidding, but it seems that way. XD
We finally made it to the car lot after like 53458748548563734 hours of talking. No really, it was that long. I mean, he just kept going on and on and on. Now don't get me wrong it was sweet and I loved it, but I had stuff to do that day. He did have a point though. I am too hard on myself and I do call others names too much. Oh well, that's me. You don't like? Deal.
"Dude, look at this one." He said as he walked over to this green piece of crap of a car.
"Dude, it looks like I just ralphed on it."
"It does not. It's green." He said. Oh so naïve.
"Yeah, so what. It looks like I just ralphed on it. I rest my case." I told him.
"They say geniuses pick green. And who the hell uses the word 'ralph' anymore?"
"I do, crapcrate." Crapcrate? What the hell?
He stuck his tongue out at me, so I pinched it...and I dug my nails into it. "Ow ow ow." He whined, I laughed a bit. "Ow." He said as I finally let go. "I think it's bleeding." He told me. I laughed. Hehe. "Can you kiss it?"
I shook my head. "I'll kiss you." I offered.
He gave me that pouty look that I couldn't resist. "Hmm, okay." He shrugged. So I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him. I was that short. Haha yeah. Okay, not my tiptoes, but I stood on my toes a bit. Alright, leave me alone.
"Can we fucking go, I'm so damn bored." I told him kicking the tire of the piece of crap.
"Dude, I want to find a car. Don't you want me to find a car?"
"No. Yours is fine already." I told him.
"Dude, it looks like a piece of crap."
"No, the only thing that looks like a piece of crap is this car that you want to buy because you say that 'geniuses pick green'. If that's true, then they all pick cars that resemble crap."
"You're brutally honest aren't you?" 'Twas true. I was brutally honest, but that's me.
"Yes. You dig it?"
"No."
"Haha. Shut up, lets go." I told him.
He whined a bit. "Trig??" He pouted.
"Snitch, this is so god damn boring. I'm sorry, but can we please go?" Please Snitch. Why don't we go shopping or something.
"Alright, alright. My mom will be bummed that I didn't find a car."
"Oh well you can just save her some money."
"Oh this is all mine. I have a lot of grandmas." He said. I laughed as I grabbed his hand and squeezed his butt...which was like totally random. "Trig, whoa girl." He said a little bit surprised.
"What?" Snitch just shook his head as we went to our car and left. We headed to his house to hang out before we went to dinner and a movie.
He looked at the table and noticed that his mom had written him a note. Dear Snitch, it read. I left to go to pick up your brother from college. His friend died in a car accident a few hours ago, and I had to tell him somehow. I told him that I would be coming up there to pick him up because something devastating had happened. I didn't tell him what though. I'll be home tomorrow afternoon. I'm sorry to leave this on you hunny, honestly I am. I left you some money if you need anything. If you want anything, you know my cell phone number, you can call at any time. I just need to be there for him. You and Trigger have a good night and I'll see you tomorrow. I love you Snitch. Love Mom. I adored his mother. She was so sweet. She was so laid back too. She never had to worry about anything.
"So I guess it's just us." He told me. "Wanna stay over tonight?" Do I want to stay over? That's like asking if I would like to go shopping. Fuck yeah!
"Yeah, that's cool." I smiled, remembering the promise I made to Missy a few hours ago.
He looked at his watch. "Well we have two hours. What do you wanna do?" He asked.
"Go shopping?"
"Seriously? Dude, you wouldn't let me go car shopping." He argued.
"So what. I want to go shopping."
"Trig?"
"What?"
"Nothing. Look I just bought this new movie, I don't think you've seen it. Wanna watch it with me until we have to leave?"
"What movie is it?"
"Hidalgo, I think it's called." He said. What the fuck was that? Oh well.
"Yeah." I said as I took his hand and went back to his room and stuff. He put the DVD in the player and started it as he laid down beside me. We watched movies on his bed, because that was the way it was. There were no chairs, or couches, it was his room for Christ's sake.
...fuck. Were we ever really going to watch the movie? Probably not. But I mean, I could at least act like I'm interested.
Shit boy, it hasn't even been ten minutes into the movie. Remember your word. Remember you word. Don't do this Trig. Be strong. I kept telling myself. But I have to. I want to. Don't kiss him, he'll go away. Shit he won't. Yes he will. But I don't want him to go away. I want to kiss him just as much as he wants to kiss me. I want to, I have to, I need to. But I can't, because I'm a fucking fuckfruit. I hate myself, I hate myself, I hate myself. Must kill must kill must kill. I said to myself, trying to look interested in this boring as hell movie. ((A/N: No offense to the Hidalgo lovers out there. I just don't really like it much.))
I mean, what was wrong? This is what we did every time we'd watch a movie in his room. We'd cuddle and make-out. It was fun. But I knew this would lead to that and being as his mom wasn't home, we would end up having sex again. That's how it normally goes. Who says today is going to be any different. Should I tell him now? Should I tell him later? What?
...damn it. God I hate you Snitch, you fucking bastard. Get the hell off of me! Oh God, don't please. Shit. I'm a loser. Think of a happy place. No damn it! Not that happy place. Please God! Pray pray! Dear God, please please please make him stop. I don't want him to. He just has to. But why? He isn't doing anything wrong. No one is doing anything wrong. We're doing what is right. Oh no, well not in Your eyes, but we are. Understand? Oh God, I knew you wouldn't. Don't make me tell him. I couldn't possibly tell him. Ahh shit! Ahh shit...oh God I didn't mean to say that. Dang it! Crap! Ahh! I prayed in my head.
Oh God. I'm such a failure. Failure. I gave in to him. Yeah I kissed him back. God I'm so stupid. But he was so good at it. I hated it. I mean, it was fucking unbelievable. I can't stand how he always made me do what he wanted. I was so fucking whipped. And so was he. It was awful.
It was intense, as they usually are before we um...yeah. Dude I didn't want to. No wait, I did want to, but I couldn't. I had to. But I won't. I need to, but then I don't. I can't make up my mind.
Dude...I have to tell him. I mean, when you feel the um...excitement you start to think about stuff...and then stuff starts happening and later you're screwed. No pun intended.
"Snitch, Snitch..." I stopped him. I had to do the right thing.
"What?" He asked a little confused.
"Um...what about Sammi?" I asked, Sammi was his new puppy.
"She's outside." He said as he leaned in and kissed my neck again.
"Uhh...what about your mom."
"Away to get my brother."
Shit! "I have a headache."
"Then take an aspirin."
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because they're not good for you."
"So what?"
"So...what?"
"So take one anyway." He said.
"No."
"Why?"
"I just told you."
"That's stupid."
"You're stupid."
"Thank you."
"You're welcome."
"Shut up."
"You shut up." I threw back at him.
"What's your problem?"
"Your mom."
"What about my mom?"
"Nothing. What's your problem?"
"The fact that you're acting like a totally different person."
"I can't do this, Snitch."
"Do what?"
"This. What we're gonna do. What we've done, this!"
"What?"
"You know what, you fuckmuffin!" I yelled at him.
"What do you have your period or something?" No I don't, but God damn it I wish I did.
"No, I made a promise."
"What kind of promise? To whom?"
To whom? God. That's who. No I'm kidding. "I made a promise to Missy that I'll go celibate until she can find a boyfriend and get her first kiss, kay?"
Celibate. Such an evil word. I know it's evil. It even sounds evil. It's the work of the devil. Definition: one who abstains from sexual intercourse. It's the same as abstinence. Stupid fucking piece of shit for a word! Even if it wasn't a word, it still would be there. Human nature. It's human nature to do what is right for both yourself and someone else. Is this right for me? I think not. Is this right for Missy? I don't think so. Is this right for Snitch? I definitely don't think so. He's a guy, he has to have it. No he doesn't, this is a test for him. A test to show me how much control he has. How much different he is than other guys. Hehe, this is good. But fuck don't I wish I could do it with him. I thought.
"What the hell? Trig? I-what?" He said.
Don't you make me feel bad for what I did! It was right! "I'm sorry Snitch. I just-I just had to. I mean, if you would have heard the words she said to me. It was all I could do for her." I explained.
"But...why this? Why now? Couldn't you have told me in the car? I mean, why do you have to tell me when I have a fucking boner!" He said.
"I'm sorry that I didn't pull you aside and whisper 'by the way I'm going on celibate' in your ear."
"You didn't have to. You could have just said like you didn't want to do anything, you know. You had to wait until the worst of times, didn't you?"
"I'm sorry Snitch. Dude, I didn't mean..."
"You have no idea what it feels like for me." Shit he was pissed.
"Oh I'm sorry that I don't have a penis!"
"Dude..."
"What? I'm sorry. Look, just forget about it."
"Forget about it? Oh man..." He groaned and whined.
"What once it comes up doesn't it go back down?"
"Not that easily, Trig. Dude, it doesn't work that way."
"Look, just do whatever you have to do, okay. Get the hell outta here." I said. I didn't want to have to deal with this shit.
"No! Not with you here." He covered his face with his hands. "God this is so embarrassing."
"I don't fucking care, don't you understand? Just go to the bathroom and do it, alright. I'll watch the movie." I told him. I didn't care. I knew of it, I knew about it, and I really didn't care. It was a guy thing.
"Dude, no, it wouldn't be right."
"Just shut the fuck up and do it. Go!" This kid will never learn. Okay, I'm letting him do what he wants and he won't listen. Forget about being embarrassed, I don't fucking care.
"Just forget it." Forget it? He couldn't forget it. What the hell is his problem. Just go to the bathroom for how ever long it takes and do it. It's not like I give a shit. It's not some deep, dark secret. Oh my God. It's gonna be circulating around school. "Snitch, the boy who had sex with Trigger, went to the bathroom in his house to jack himself because she told him that she was going celibate." I bet it'll be on The Enquirer. I kid you not. It might even be on the front page of The New York Times. You never know, it's that big of news.
"Whatever, Snitch you're pissing me off."
"Well I'm sorry, it's not any better roses for me sweetie."
"Don't you dare make me feel bad for trying to do something that's right."
"I'm not trying to make you feel bad..."
"Well you are. And besides we're not even supposed to be doing this. I'm doing this for my best friend, because that's what girls do. They do anything they can so that their friend will feel better. And this isn't that bad. I could have said I would like, I don't know, break up with you until she finds a boyfriend or something. It's not that bad." I explained.
"Yeah I know that, it's just..."
"It's just what Snitch. Is this the only reason why you want to be with me?"
"No! Trig, don't do this."
"Well what? What is it? I mean, it's not that important to you is it?" This hurt, sort of.
"No. Trig, I didn't mean it to sound that way. It's just..."
"It's what? It's the only thing you look forward to when you see me. You always look forward to the time that your mom leaves so then you can get in my pants."
"No, Trig, you got it all wrong!"
"Do I? Or don't I? It's what it seems like."
"Trig..."
"Am I just your bitch, Snitch? Bitch and Snitch, it rhymes. All I've ever been is someone's bitch. I thought that I could be with you and get away from that word. But I guess I can't."
"Trig stop..."
"I'm your slut, aren't I? I am a slut. Why did I think you were different?" It hurt. I was used to this. I couldn't help it, really I couldn't. I mean, I dealt with these words every day of my life at home. I was a slut at home, I was a bitch. It didn't matter what I said, I was still labeled as those words.
"Trig stop!" He yelled stopping me from leaving.
"You're not a bitch, you're not my bitch, and no one has the right to call any girl a bitch. You're not a slut, and you're not my slut. Trig, just fucking stop saying all that shit. You're not anything you say you are. You're more worthwhile than that. Why can't you look at yourself through someone else's eyes sometime? You'll see who you really are, and I can assure you that it's not what you see." He explained. "Trig, I'm sorry if I made a big deal about this. It's just...I don't know, bad timing. Really bad timing, but that's okay. Trig, you have to understand, I explained it to you. I love you no matter what decision you make or don't make. I just...love you. I don't know what other words to say. Love, it's such a small word, but it has a bigger meaning. It's such a strong word, Trig. But people nowadays, they misuse that word. I'm not like all those other guys who say they love a girl, when they really don't. They just think they do. I mean, it's not something that you should joke about or fake. I can't fake it; I would be the best actor in the world if I faked it successfully. Trigger, I love you more than life itself, and yes I know that Ozzy Osbourne said that." I had to laugh. "But it's true. I know I'm not the 'Prince of fucking darkness', but I know one thing. I love you, I'd do anything for you, and I want to be with you, no matter what you say or do, or don't do. You're perfect in my eyes, no matter what." God he was so fucking sweet I just want to kill him. It's true. Stupid bastard.
I stood stone still, face wise. My face didn't smile, even though I was flattered to have a man like him. "Oh, okay." I said. What the hell do you want me to do? Cry? I don't think so, baby.
After a few moments of silence, he added, "so?"
"I believe you. We're good." I told him. He put his arms out to hug me, so I guess I'll hug him.
...Snitch, my baby, you're so sweet.
Wow that was another long-ass chapter. I just have to explain what happened in the last chapter. The phone call thing was just representing that their little secret has escaped and people now know about it, as you'll find out in like the next chapter or something. I really don't know.
I apologize for the longness of this chapter. It was just very long. XD
So yeah, I'll do SO's in the next chapter, because I'm lazy now.