Disclaimer: I do not own Newsies. Or half the information of this story, half is owned by Rubix the Cube because this is what we RPed about. And she came up with half and I came up with the other half. I share all claims to this story with her
Sorry for the long wait. I've been so busy with everything, that I haven't had time to write, nor did I have the words to say to come up with this chapter. I've just been having serious writer's block lately. I'll get back on track eventually.
I headed to class, as I said I would. It totally sucks when you have just about every class with the fucker. I tried to stay away from Snitch, but I couldn't. It was impossible, because we always sat beside each other, and when he came in, today wasn't any different. He knew I was hurt, I mean, everyone knew I was hurt. But the little bastards didn't care. They liked to make a fool of others because they all were assholes, and made fun of me they did. I don't give a fuck though.
Let them see the picture, let them believe what they want to believe. I am the way I am, I know the truth just as Snitch does. They don't know and nothing I say or do can make them understand. They'll believe what they want, and I don't give a fuck.
"Trig?" Snitch said to me. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck. I don't want to talk to him. But maybe it's the best thing to do. I mean, he is my boyfriend and that is him in the picture too. It isn't all about me, you stupid bitch. But I don't want to talk to him now. I have that obligation, don't I? I just don't feel like conversing with Mr. Thomas Daniel Brigmont right now. "Trig, please just talk to me." He said.
"God damn it, Snitch." I snapped. "What?" Okay, another promise I broke. Not conversing with Snitch, promise number 1253578. God damn it!
"Look, let's just go." He whispered. "Mrs. Reddington isn't here now, so we can ditch this shit. Just come home with me. Okay? Please. You don't have to deal with this shit."
"I'm fine, Snitch." Fine? That's a fucking understatement I am not fucking fine.
"Trig, please. We can talk about this. Okay, you shouldn't have to go through the day like this. You're going to have a shitty day, I know it. Just come home with me, okay? It's gonna be alright." He told me.
He was ungodly persuasive, because he was so damn hott. Stupid fucking asshole. I rolled my eyes, and hissed at him. But I got up and said loudly, "oh I forgot something. Snitch, take me to your locker to get it." It was the gayest thing, like anyone was listening to me, but it was worth a try.
This was like the fiftieth time this year that we skipped school. Snitch was a straight A student who never got in trouble, as was I, and when we're together, we seem to get into a lot mischief. Oh believe me, we do.
We got to his car, which was a miracle. How could we skip so much school so many times and not get in trouble? This is truly a miracle. Possibly we were supposed to skip so much school. I don't know, but it worked.
We drove home from school listening to the CD that I gave him and made him listen to because I was evil. It was a CD that I burned and it had a trillion of difference songs. I was like in a trance as I looked out the window. I wasn't listening to the music but I noticed that it was Liz Phair's, "Why Can't I?". It was a good song. I loved that song, but not right now.
I just stared out the window thinking. Wanting to cry so much, but I didn't. I was strong, and I didn't cry. Never cry was what I was taught.
Then it came on. Fuck it! It's an itch we know we are gonna scratch. Gonna take a while for this egg to hatch. But wouldn't it be beautiful. Here we go, we're at the beginning, we haven't fucked yet, but my head's spinning. God I hated that part. It kinda reminded me of the way the Snitch and I used to be. I mean, I loved that song. I've always loved that song; it just reminded me of the way I felt towards Snitch. Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you? Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you? It's inevitable, it's the fact that we're gonna get down to it so tell me. Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you? Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you?
"Trigger, I think we need to talk about this." He told me. He always needed to talk about everything. No wait, I think that's me. Oh shit. But it's not fair. He always has the words to say and he can interpret my feelings so well! I am just a dopey, mumbling, smacktard when it comes to things like that. I hate him for it, but that's what I love about him. "I don't know what sick fuck would do that, but…but there's nothing we can do about it." No shit, Sherlock. "I really don't know what else to say other than I'm sorry."
"Yeah, me too." I told him. It hurt. It hurt like hell, but I had to get through it. I was strong, I could get through anything.
"Trig, please talk to me. Tell me how you feel. Vent, rant, cry, whatever, but please, don't just sit there and be silent. That really scares me when you're silent. You're never silent, and when you are, I know something is really, and terribly wrong." It was true. I was always talking about something. I was never silent. When I was it was either because I was tired, sad, mad at him, pissed at someone/something/him, etc.
"What do you want me to say, Snitch? I am mortified because of what happened at school! I never want to return again! I want to crawl in a cave and die, alone, with my naked, fat ass sticking out for the world to see. There I said it. Now can you understand me better?"
"Yes, I understand now. And you are no where near being fat, if anything you're underweight."
"That doesn't matter. I want to leave the school forever, Snitch. I can't show my face there, because now they know what we do that is none of their business. It's none of their business! It's something personal and private and I don't know who found out. Do you know?" I asked. Missy swore to me that she wouldn't tell anyone about what we did. I know people knew about us being together, but I didn't think they suspected us of that. Apparently they did or something, or someone told them. Stupid fuckers!
"I didn't tell anyone. All of my friends think I'm still a virgin, honestly. I wouldn't tell anyone, I can't tell anyone. The only thing of mine that knows is my novel, that's it. I seriously hope it didn't tell anyone anything."
I smirked jokingly. He wasn't that funny. "I'm just so pissed off right now, Snitch. I could punch someone in the jaw! Ugh!" I liked to hit things when I was pissed. I'm sure everyone else did too.
I don't know which feeling I had more of: being pissed off or being hurt. I think they were all equal in the rating scale. "Trig, if we find out who did that, we can seriously get their ass in trouble."
"That's just the thing, how will we find the bastard?"
"I don't know, but we'll think of something." He suggested.
"Just forget it. I mean, it's stupid. I can't be like this. It's something so little like this. I can't let it bother me, why the hell am I letting it bother me? I'm fine. I'm fine." I told myself.
"It's okay, Trig. You can cry, I don't mind." He told me. God how did he know everything. He gave me the cue to cry, and cry I did. I started bawling, because…I just did. Wouldn't you?
"This is the single worst day of school in my entire life!" I cried as I gasped for air. "I wish that I could die! I want to kill the bastard who ruined my entire life. Now I have no chance for anything ever! I will never dress in a sexy dress like people, wear tight pants or revealing tops or anything like that, because nothing is left to the imagination now!"
"Did you even look at it, Trig? It wasn't you that they could see. I mean, they didn't see anything about you. They didn't hardly see any of me either. It was a picture taken from the window, and nothing was shown. You're safe. Wear those skimpy dresses, tight pants and provocative tops, go ahead, be my guest. But they didn't see anything."
I sniffed. "What the fuck are you talking about?"
"The picture. What we have been talking about. Did you even look at it completely?" Fuck no, fool. Why would I want to look at my naked ass.
"So they didn't show us naked?" What the hell? Why is everyone making such a big deal about it? Oh yeah, it was during the umm, you know what.
"No, Trig. They didn't. I can't believe you didn't notice that. Oh my God."
"Then why didn't you correct me about my naked ass part?"
"Because you didn't give me time too. And I wanted you to do the talking, you're the one that would be really upset by this." He explained.
"And you're not at all hurt or pissed by this?"
"Oh I'm pissed. Believe me, Trig, I'm pissed. I'm just not worrying about it. Okay, kids can believe what they want to believe. No matter what we tell them or protest against it, they're going to believe what they want. That's the power of free-will and we have it here in America, and in the world. And being as I enjoy being a spectator, I've learned things about kids and humans in general. We can do nothing about it, we can't deny it because it's there and it's always going to be there. If we prove to them that it doesn't matter, then we'll be fine."
"But how can you say that when you know we won't be fine?" I asked. I mean, how could we be fine? I loved him, he loved me, the world hated us. How could we be fine?
"Trig, this is an obstacle. It is. Honestly, we'll get through it. It's just testing us, it's testing how far our love is willing to go. You can get through this, I know. And we'll get through it together. Love is not only sharing, but bearing also. We have to bear this thing together, and we will. You have to have faith." He told me. He was always so optimistic about everything and I hated it.
"Alright. I believe you." Obstacle or no obstacle, I hated it like fuck and he knew it. But I'll get over it.
This one took forever and a year to come out. I didn't look over it at all because right now I'm just interested in getting it out and getting on with bigger and better things. It's winding down pretty soon.
SO'S to everyone. Love you all!