Chapter 2
The phone rings as I flop down onto the bed, staring out the window without a care of whose calling. Puddles form outside with crashing thunder falling not far away; it rains a lot here. Before all this happened, it rarely rained…and it was rarely cloudy. Hypnotized, I watch the falling rain hit the window, a silence in the air around me. Visions form in front of me, blurred by overwhelming tears. The phone begins to ring again and I jump back, shocked that I was caught in a moment of down time. I wipe my tears, recouping before picking up the phone and saying hello. An equally emotional voice comes over the line, "Iris, please take me back, I'm sorry for whatever I did." I sigh, not in the mood for Evan right now, "I'm sorry but I can't nor will I," I tell him truthfully.
His voice cracks, "W-w-why," everything about him is pathetic in a newfound way. He's without a doubt the most pitiful person I have ever met in my life. I still don't understand why I went out with him but I believe it was my sorrow that drove me into it. I answer his question, not thinking, "Because I love someone else." The words came out before I realized what I was saying. It didn't take me but a few seconds to grasp what it all meant, though. Even though I was told my lover betrayed me and after all that had happened, I still loved him, regardless of whether it hurt me or not. I hang up without saying goodbye, a wave of memories flooding my mind.
I remember everything that happened while I was there and within moments, it's all falling over my vision like a story unfolding. It feels like opening a book you've already read and already know the story to. Only, this time, it feels like I'm reading it for the first time in years. I smile faintly, closing my eyes. I'm like a kid listening to a bedtime story, excited to hear all the details again. I throw myself back onto the bed, the covers flowing around me like soft clouds. I never get tired of hearing this 'story' and it's by far my favorite. It has everything: action, adventure, romance, mystery, horror, comedy, suspense, and far more. It's as if I relive those days over and over again in my mind, each time is just as exciting as the last. It is the story that I will tell my children and their children will tell theirs to. It is the fire, which keeps me going; the spark of hope I have to shine down on me. It is the only thing the strings of my heart have to hold onto.
No longer am I in the merciless world from which I descended but stepping into a wonderland. My heart begins to race and I wonder if I'll ever wake from this dream, not that I want to. As shudders of excitement rush down my spine, it begins to get harder to breathe. It has been a while before I've had this feeling. I'm overwhelmed with a feeling of fear but I can't help but giggle at the butterflies in my stomach. My lip quivers with happiness—I'm trying to gain control over my sudden emotions. Has anyone ever felt the way I feel now? Is it possible to be any happier than I am now? Is this the way people should feel, oh how I pray to God that it's yes. Is this how it feels when you're a kid with no knowledge of anything bad in the world? Is this what it would be like to live in the Garden of Eden? Is this how it feels to have no worries and stress? No…this is freedom…this is living…this is love and love of living.
Walking through the bleakness of my hidden lair, I step away from the darkness that has bound me for so long. Another rush of excitement passes me along with a gust of wind as I set a foot upon this forbidden land. This land is mine. No matter how much they try to take it from me, this land will always be mine.
The stage is set; the scenes begin to envelope me in their chronicle timeline. Everything is happening over again, just as it once did. History is repeating and for once, I am proud to say that. Nothing will wake me from this bittersweet serenity I have right now. I would dream this forever, never getting up for anything. I want to die this way—happier than anything thought possible and dreaming of this place. I want to die dreaming of my love, in this paradise.