AN: The time at the top is meant to put it all into context so you can see how much of the night has passed. Hope you enjoy!
18:00
All Hallow's Eve
Monster Mash!
"He did the mash"
"He did the monster mash!"
"THE MONSTER MASH!"
"It was a graveyard smash"
"He did the mash!"
"Errr… It caught on in a flash!"
"He did the mash!"
"COME ON EVERYBODY!"
And half the great hall chorused; "HE DID THE MONSTER MASH!" As Fred and George Weasley boogied through the doors, wisps of smoke dancing around their feet, resplendent in fluorescent orange robes, George's face elaborately made up to resemble a troll (or Marcus Flint, the Slytherin quidditch captain of old, it was hard to tell) and Fred's a mouldering corpse (chunks of flesh kept dropping off convincingly).
Fred raised his arms to get everybody's attention (as if he hadn't already), and lightning crackled between his fingers, and thunder boomed through the cavernous room. A Hufflepuff first year screamed.
"The Halloween creep-kit! Just five galleons for a cold sweat and shiver box…"
"… and a mere seven for the hair-raising hell-raising bucket of screams"
"And ten for the blood-thirsty,"
"petrifying,"
"gruesome,"
"blood bath!"
"Which includes; a smoke snake, three ready carved pumpkins, a gravestone personalised with an individual devilish message, thunder and lightning atmospherics, murderer's mask, Monster Mash vocal chords, life-size and realistic inflatable werewolf, mountain troll or vampire (made my mum scream, that one did!), and a completely unique set of Halloween tricks, so you never get the same fright twice!"
George whispered something into Fred's ear.
"Oh yeah, and Halloween munchies", he added, with a rather wicked grin.
"We also sell our huge range of amazing murderer's masks for just eight sickles each."
"Just approach us, with your gold at the ready, at any point during the evening and we'll provide you with what you need!"
At this point they both turned expectantly to look at Dumbledore, resplendent in velvety black robes embroidered with grinning, cartoon pumpkins, who, right on cue, rose from his seat, his movement followed by every pair of eyes in the great hall.
"Happy Halloween all! I have only a few words say, which are; please bear in mind, before purchasing the fantastic wares being marketed by my two guests for the evening, Fred and George Weasley, that they will undoubtedly be banned almost immediately by our caretaker. Although, I'm sure, any rules concerning, er, unusual products could be relaxed just for this evening."
"And after that you'll just have to keep them well hidden!" Put in George.
Cheers and laughter bubbled from the house tables, and someone shouted ,"Hear Hear!"
Dumbledore smiled behind his tumbling white beard, "And, if you would be so kind as to hear out a doddering old fool with a weakness for muggle sweets, just a further two words; TUCK IN!" and with that the tables were suddenly groaning with the weight of hundreds of platters of food.
As the school began to feast, Dumbledore fixed the pair of troublemakers with his twinkling gaze. "As you are no longer students, but guests of this school, you are welcome to sit at the staff table, there are a spare pair of seats next to professor Snape, if you would care to join us".
Fred shuddered, and George replied hurriedly, "Er, thanks professor, but yeah, I mean ner, no thanks I mean, I think we'll just you know, mingle", waving his arm vaguely at the students.
"Indeed", smiled Dumbledore. The twins both breathed a sigh of relief and scurried away from the teacher's table, shooting malevolent looks over their shoulder at Snape, who was looking distinctly relieved.
"It would have been quite amusing to put Weasley's-wizard-wash-your-mouth-out-wheeze in his soup though, I mean we can't get detention anymore", commented George.
"Yeah but he can't get sacked for cursing us now we're not students".
George opened his mouth to reply, but before he could the chattering crowd, each eager to get their order in first, piled up around them.
"Excellent", said Fred, rubbing his hands together with glee, "To business it is!"
At the far end of the Gryffindor table a group of 6th years were munching happily, discussing what havoc the new inventions of the most rebellious Weasleys would wreak upon Hogwarts that night.
"And Dumbledore encouraging them, its going to be a nightmare for the prefects, isn't it Ron? Ron?"
"Wha? Sorry 'Ermy. Missed dat. Frenorge's 'uff looks grea' don' it?" Said Ron, pumpkin pie bulging out of his mouth.
Hermione began to chide him for his complete lack of table manners when Ginny Weasley plonked herself down beside her. Helping herself to a large pile of what appeared to be blue candy floss, she commented on how great tonight was going to be, Hermione swelling in a manner not unlike the red-head's mother, and when she began on all the things she was planning to do with the joke shop creations Harry decided it was high time he intervened, "Do you know how long Fred and George are staying?"
"Oh, they're staying the night, mmm this stuffs interesting Harry, you should try some, they told Dumbledore they'd kip in the Gryffindor common room."
"No sleep for us then", said Harry, and they both looked over at the twins, still surrounded by students. They were exchanging piles of money for small boxes about the size a pencil sharpener, which they pulled out all sorts of unusual places including the lining of their sleeves, hems of their robes, and even their hats. The colour of the cube, black, red or gold, seemed to determine how deep their current customer was delving in their pockets. Some were obviously spending the last of their Hogsmeade money, handing over tottering mounds of knuts, which George was diligently counting, whilst others, such as Draco Malfoy, handed over fifteen fat gold galleons and received their purchase with a gloating smile. Those who had completed the transaction were walking away cradling their cubes with more care than they would their first-born child. "I think I should be disturbed at just how many Slytherins are buying those", said Harry.
"Oh, I wouldn't be", replied Ginny, "They'll give them the worst".
Right on cue a large howl of pain issued from the green and silver clad table, and they saw Goyle looking furious, clutching his nose. He had apparently just erected his gravestone when a mouldering hand popped out from beneath it, grabbing his oversized conk. The mournful voice of Fred/George filled the hall, echoing the glowing, newly etched words upon the stone, "May Goyle's nose rest in peace, free from the torment it once endured, mocked by those who thought it flawed, may the poor nose rest in peace". This ditty was followed by appreciative laughter, although many were looking apprehensively at their own gravestones (Harry saw Seamus Finnigan push his in front of Dean, who pushed it back, who pushed it back again, until an engraving stating, "Stop pooing your pants, I'm not going to do anything", appeared upon it).
Soon after this Fred pushed his way through the remaining throng, and made his way to where the group were sitting. "Phew", he said plonking himself down, "You must be as starved for trouble as I am for food if everyone's that desperate for tricks, good job I've got some great ideas for more havoc, we're gonna have a busy night!" He shovelled potatoes onto his plate, took a hearty gulp of pumpkin juice, and then pulled a pile of what appeared to be blank, oval shaped pieces of plastic from the front of his trousers. Hermione broke off trying to explain about the monster mash to Ron (who, having no muggle connections, had never heard it before), and shot him a disgusted look.
"Don't worry Hermione dear, they were outside my boxers", Fred said, noticing.
"Why didn't you just bring a bag?"
"We had to sneak them out the house without mum seeing, she'd have done her nut if she knew we were planning to sell this stuff at Hogwarts."
"What are they?"
"Truth-revealing masks, they turn into your perfect Halloween character. Bargain, only fifteen sickles, and they're better quality than the murderer's masks."
"Fifteen sickles! You've gotta be joking!" Ron exclaimed incredulously.
"I'll buy us all one", Harry offered generously. He handed over three galleons and nine sickles, Ron looking slightly green with envy, and Fred gave them each a mask. Ginny quickly tied the ribbon behind her head, and the plastic metamorphosed into a dragon ("always knew you were somewhat fiery!" joked Fred), and Ron fumbled with his for a few moments before Hermione did it up for him. It turned into a drooling boar's head. "Charming!" Ron complained, looking at his reflection in his spotless plate. When Hermione put on hers, looking slightly unsure, it became a cat. "Very nice", Fred complemented, "makes your eyes look huge". Harry knotted his and watched his reflection in Ron's dish.
The happy feeling around the table evaporated with the rapidity of a dementor attack. Everyone froze, and Neville Longbottom screamed in pure terror. Before anyone else could see Harry ripped it off and threw it across the table, where it instantly returned to plastic. They all watched him for a moment, dumbstruck, then Fred said, shakily, "look mate, don't worry about it, it probably just sensed your connection and used that or something, I mean its not intelligent or anything, really dumb in fact".
"Voldemort, Harry breathed, Voldemort".
The silence persisted for another few seconds, Harry feeling sure he could detect Dumbledore's eyes upon him, then Fred pulled out another wad of masks, from the back of his trousers this time, and the tension began to ebb away slightly, as they saw what they were. Harry laughed with the others at the cunning depictions of all the teachers, but his insides were still squirming, "Am I really evil? Or maybe it means Voldemort will defeat me. It probably does, because I don't see how I could ever kill him, I'm not powerful enough", he thought miserably. The others soon forgot the incident (although Hermione kept shooting him concerned glances), as orders and silver were passed up the table: "Give us a McGonagall, Fred!" "I want a Dumbledore!" "Pass us a Hagrid, would'ya?" A Snape was quickly forced upon Neville, and the whole table howled at the exaggeratedly greasy skin and hooked nose. The real Snape up at the staff table was looking daggers at them, and Harry was sure the potions lesson on Monday morning would be torturous for Neville, who had carried it on purely as a passport to auror training.
Harry watched as Proffessor McGonagall leant over the staff table and tapped George on the shoulder, he looked mildly surprised as she handed over a handful of silver in exchange for one of his own stock of masks. As she lowered her arms from pulling it over her head he saw the hugely magnified eyes and trembling features of Trewlawny. Soon Flitwick was in peals of laughter, as she was evidently performing a cruelly accurate impression.
Dinner continued to a background of bangs and screams as more and more boxes were opened, the laughter got louder and the hall more and more crowded as it filled with inflatable trolls, werewolves and vampires, all with convincing sound effects, and Harry felt his fears begin to evaporate, it was just a stupid mask after all. They were finally forgotten completely when pudding arrived, accompanied by a marquee sized ghost with glowing red eyes and an evil howl. It swept low over the tables several times, leaving behind screams and students with covered in food from where they'd thrown themselves flat onto their tables to avoid the apparition, before disappearing through a wall leaving a faint smell like old socks behind.
Soon they were all contentedly full, and beginning to think of a comfortable bed (even though it was unlikely the twins would let them have any sleep at all). Harry was gazing sleepily at the pumpkins glittering above the table, when a blindingly bright light suddenly exploded silently from Seamus' golden cube enveloping the entire Gryffindor table, and just as abruptly shrank back into non-existence. Everything became deathly quiet, as if the hall itself was holding its breath (excepting the inflatable monsters), as everyone looked around anxiously. Harry focused on Fred and George. As the culprits they'd know what to expect. What he saw was not reassuring: They grinned evilly at one another, and as one person pushed their chairs back from the table. Harry nervously followed suit, and across from him Hermione did the same, looking petrified. Harry followed the twins' avid gaze upward, but could see nothing out the ordinary. Suddenly his heart gave a painful lurch and he threw himself still further back from the table, his arms over his face, as the spell keeping the pumpkins air-bound ceased to exist, and they plummeted downward. He expected to be painfully splattered with pumpkin entrails, but when nothing happened, he cautiously peeped over his arms. They hadn't splattered for a very simple reason; the pumpkins had landed on their feet. Each and every one had sprouted identical, black, stick like bodies(rather like a bowtruckle), the pumpkin perched on top as a gruesome head. Everybody stared for an infinite second, then chaos ensued. The creature closest to Harry launched itself at him claw like fingers extended. He whacked at the head and sent it rolling across the table, where it leapt agilely to its feet and hurled a golden dish filled with custard into Hermione's face. Harry grabbed it and threw it away from her, its sharp claws leaving gouges in his wrist. Pulling his wand from his robes he blasted away the three dragging Neville along the tabletop, sending the plates crashing to the ground. The room was filled with flying pumpkin-things, food, people and the hiss of punctured monsters. At the Slytherin table a boy smashed one, sending the candle rolling, setting fire to his neighbour. A panicked pansy Parkinson threw a jug of pumpkin juice at him, but missed, drenching a livid Daphne Greengrass.
A mass exodus was beginning as people grabbed what remained of their belongings and fled. Fred, laughing hysterically, grabbed the still blinded Hermione and pulled her from the hall, followed feverishly by the other Weasley's and Harry. At the doors people struggled to squeeze through, and Malfoy tried to shove past Harry, only to be struck painfully on the forehead by a flying goblet and be knocked to the floor. Finally out and halfway up the stairs Harry looked back to see Dumbledore slamming the hall door closed, laughing fit to burst.
"Was", gasped George, "that not the most incredible thing you have seen in your life?"
Seamus Finnigan stumbled past, eyes wide and singed eyebrows sizzling, muttering, "always knew they were evil, with their jeering mouths, and eyes that look at you, I knew it, I knew it!"
"We got the idea from what Ron told us about the class when Lockhart set pixies loose", chimed in Fred.
Harry squirted water from the tip of his wand onto Ginny's hat, which was smoking.
"Well the best is still to come!" Said George, happily.