Chapter Two – Foot in Mouth Disease

A/N – OMG!!! I got reviews! Nothing and nobody can wipe the smile off of this face! By the by, Professor Binns is kinda OOC but hey, you get that!

Disclaimer – Since I am not typing on a gold keyboard, it's pretty damn obvious that I don't own anything Harry Potter related.

James woke up, silently cursed the birds twittering outside, but he immediately brightened up when he realised it was morning. He rolled over to find that Sirius was still asleep, drool trailing from his open mouth.

"Oi, Padfoot, wake up," James yelled, throwing a nearby cushion at him.

Sirius wrinkled his nose trying to determine what exactly had hit him. It was soft, so he wasn't in class and it wasn't moving, so he wasn't outside. He opened his eyes to find an embroidered Gryffindor lion smiling down at him. A malicious smile crossed his face.

"Morning Prongs," Sirius cried, throwing the now charmed cushion at James.

It took several minutes for James to work out how to stop the cushion from clobbering him over the head.

"Well, today's the day," he said excitedly, shoving the cushion under his bed.

"Today's what day?" Remus said blearily from the other side of the room.

"The first day of the rest of my life!" James shouted.

The rest of the room groaned.

"Prongs, the first day of school is not something to be excited about," Peter said, fetching his slippers from underneath his bed.

"Yes it is! This is the first day of our last year at Hogwarts! We're SENIORS! This will be my defining year. This is James Potter's opportunity to..."

An assortment of pillows, slippers and books hit James in the face.

"Seriously, you guys! I'm Head Boy this year. Do you realise what this could mean for the Marauders?" James said once he had emerged from the rubble that now lay on his bed.

Sirius' face broke into a cheeky smile.

"Detentions galore for Snivellus..."

"Late night partying with no consequences..."

"Err... guys?" Remus said reluctantly, not wanting to spoil the mood. "I think you may have overlooked one small glitch."

"Lily," Sirius sighed.

James perked up at the sound of Lily's name.

"Lily? What about her? I thought we had dropped the subject of Lily!"

"Keep your pants on, Prongs," Peter laughed.

"What we mean is that we doubt that Lily will let you go on too much of a power trip," Remus said.

"Well she'll just have to won't she? I have just as much power as she does."

The other three marauders burst out laughing.

"Ohh that was a good one!" Peter gasped, clutching his sides.

"Prongs, come on, I think we all know who's in charge in this partnership," Remus added.

Sirius walked over to James, putting an arm around his shoulders.

"That's right, Prongs," Sirius said, "Evans has you whipped!"

And if James wasn't annoyed enough already, Sirius added a whiplash sound for effect.

Lily walked briskly to her class, reprimanding several students using magic in the corridors on her way. She wrapped her robe around her tightly as she walked, very aware of how much leg her new school skirt was showing.

I look ridiculous! RIDICULOUS! What on Earth made you think you could get away with this Lily Evans?

She strode into the classroom, thankful to be the first one there. After taking her place at her usual position (front row, centre table), Lily took out her book to start reading. She wasn't even sure why she was here so early. She should have waited for Meg and Sarah to finish breakfast but she had been so jittery that she just couldn't sit still.

But jittery about what?

Probably this bloody skirt.

She looked down at the black skirt and was disgruntled to see that it became several inches shorter when she sat down. She was tugging it down when Snape strode into the classroom, a look of distaste on his face when he saw Lily. Resisting the urge to scowl back, she looked behind him to see that James, Sirius, Remus and Peter had just entered the classroom. She sighed, getting out her wand so she could avert trouble if need be. But surprisingly, the boys just kept walking, sneering at Snape instead of the usual testosterone battle that usually took place. Lily was just about to go back to her book when a large shadow fell across her table. It was James, Sirius and Remus, all gawking at her largely uncovered legs. Peter was standing behind them whining about what the hold up was. Lily blushed and quickly covered her legs with her robe. Keeping her eyes glued to her book, she was relieved when the shadow finally had passed.

"Did you see that?" James asked once they had all sat down.

"That... Lily... short..." Remus stuttered, turning a dark shade of magenta.

Sirius leaned back in his chair, a lazy grin plastered all over his face.

"That was certainly a lovely surprise."

James stared at Lily a few rows in front of him. He had never seen her in something so short, so figure hugging, so... un-Lily.

Peter turned from one face to another, a confused look in his eyes.

"Lily was wearing a short skirt..." Remus explained, still slightly dazed.

Peter gasped and turned around in his seat to get a glimpse of Lily.

"Now that's what I call some serious leggage," Sirius grinned, tucking his hands behind his head.

James was brought back to earth by a group of giggling girls that had approached their table.

"Hi there Sirius!" they said together, each of them waving, blowing kisses and giggling.

Sirius' smile grew, dazzling the girls with his pearly whites.

"Ladies," he drawled, all too aware of his affect on women.

However, the flirt-fest was disrupted by Professor Binns who had drifted through the blackboard.

"Good morning everyone, though of course when I say 'good morning' I am only using it in the customary sense as I don't actually believe that this is a good morning at all. In fact, any morning that I have to spend teaching you pathetic excuses for witches and wizards is in fact a BAD morning."

Lily's jaw hung open. Apparently this wasn't going to be the start to the year she had envisioned.

"Anyway, students, moving right along into the time of King Arthur. As you all know, the great wizard Merlin..."

James tuned out like he so often did in History of Magic.

Why did I take this class?

He smiled as the answer presented itself.

Eenie, Meenie, Minie, Mo.

He stared at Lily at the front of the class. Her hair looked so soft.

I wonder what her shampoo smells like...

She was so serene, so composed. Such a cute little thing, and her voice! When she wasn't yelling like she was at the moment, James loved to just listen to her.

Wait. Lily's yelling?

James tuned back into the conversation and wasn't surprised to find that Snape and Lily were in a heavy debate.

"But Merlin was one of the greatest wizards this world has ever seen!" Lily cried, throwing her hands up into the air.

"That doesn't stop him from being a traitor to wizard-kind. The man associated with Muggles!" Snape shot back, clearly disgusted at having to use the word 'Muggle'.

"What, so any association with Muggles means that you are betraying your magic heritage?"

"Exactly."

"HOW?"

Snape's upper lip curled with dislike.

"I guess you wouldn't know how proper wizards should act. Would you, Mudblood?"

Lily snorted in disgust. She hated the fact that people treated her differently because of her parents. They were insulting her parents by insulting her. And she hated it.

James saw his opportunity to take action.

"Shove off, Snivellus!" he said, standing in his place.

"Just leave it alone, James," Lily said tiredly.

"Yeah, listen to your girlfriend, Potter."

Just then Professor Binns turned around from the board, finally noticing that his students weren't diligently working like he wanted them to.

"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?" he roared.

There was silence.

He walked up and down the rows of students. Peter whimpered. Hearing him, Professor Binns turned on him, placing his translucent hands on the desk in front of Peter.

"Did you have something to say, Mr Pettigrew?"

Peter looked up cautiously at Professor Binns, as if expecting him to explode like a bomb at any moment.

"Well," he whimpered, "Lily and Snape were arguing and..."

"EVANS! SNAPE! DETENTION!"

Snape groaned loudly, sneering at Peter. Lily just sat quietly at her table in shock. Sarah and Meg appeared to be whispering words of comfort to her.

"Traitor," James muttered at Peter.

Peter simply whimpered once more.

Then the bell rang, announcing the blessed end of class.

Lily exited quickly, but not before Snape could have one last shot.

"If people like you weren't allowed here then my life would be a hell of a lot easier. I won't forget this, Evans."

And he didn't.

A/N – Hmmm... so what do ya think? Once again, please let me know if I'm sounding too Aussie!!! Also let me know if you think any of them are too OOC. Apart from Professor Binns coz I already realised he's not acting like himself at all! Oh well!

Here's a shout out to my reviews (ALL THREE OF THEM!!! I KNEW I ALWAYS LIKED THAT NUMBER!!!)

ShimmeringEvil – I tried to get this out ASAP!!! I'm working on the

next one so don't fret!!!

ImperishableStars – A million thanks! I owe you one! Now get some of

your stories out there!!!

Junius – THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I had the goofiest grin

on my face when I read that! And yeah, we

Aussies need to stick together eh?