A/N: I do not own Fruits Basket, I never will TT

Wow… it has been a looong time since I've updated this fic. I felt it was high time I did. I hope you all enjoy it. Again, I apologize for my laziness in updating. I'm trying to update in the places I've posted it, but can't remember my passwords anymore. (I'm uploading it to tomorrow )

Haru's Backseat Experience, Chapter 4.

Hebi School days.

Hatori watched in suspicion as Aya became uncharacteristically quiet. He took a guess at what was holding his attention so well. This was just another of those times that he envied the other junnishi. Sure, Ayame wasn't cuddly like Shigure, Impressive like Rin, or exotic like Kisa, but he 'needed' body heat, and had the perfect excuse to slide into a willing female's blouse. Of course, the only aware willing female around was Tohru-kun. Hatori.. Well. He was a sea-horse. His comfort depended on an immediate available water source. 'How exciting' he thought sarcastically.

Ayame froze mid-slither. An idea had hit him. 'Yes! It would all fit perfectly! That would all make sense! Shigure has jumped to conclusions… the wording.. The attitudes of the participants… that had to be it. Oh… the fun he could have… it was wonderful to be him…'

Tohru had since gotten control of her giggling and made her way back into the kitchen. After all.. Ayame-san was in her shirt.. And being alone with Hatori-san always had noticeable effects on her. She would be absolutely mortified if anyone found out… That meant avoid going into a room alone with him. She could deal with slight injuries through dinner at least.

She looked up surprised to find Haru, Yuki and Kyo all sitting and waiting. She went into a bustling panic in true Tohru fashion, grabbing dishes and plates, flying here and there to make sure everyone's drinks were fixed properly. Eventually, after ignoring pleas from Shigure and Ayame to sit and enjoy her own meal, Hatori admonished her quietly for over-working herself. This, to Shigure's interest, put the rice ball on alert, and she immediately took her seat. It wouldn't do to dissapoint Hatori. He had been so kind to her...

This move did not go unnoticed by any one of the various males watching her at the moment. In truth, they were all watching her, making her very nervous. A horrifying thought struck her. 'Oh no.. what If I have something on me? Or my FACE? Oh god.. I'd just die.. Everyone is staring at me…. I wish someone would say something!' Tohru moved her food about on her place with a chop stick, her face darkening with each passing second.

Ayame cleared his throat theatrically and decided now was the time to save her from the surveillance that she had very obviously noticed.

(A/N: Almighty Chrissy, this is for you . )

"I must say Tohru-kun, You really lucked out getting such a wonderful instructor. One with so much knowledge… calm and gentle understanding as our Ha-san. And yet, he can somehow maintain the professional edge, separating teacher and student…impressive indeed. Why.. This reminds me of my own experiences learning! Of course I ended up with a lovely little brunette. She was very straight-forward… straight-forward can be fun too I suppose. Although we did encounter some obstacles… and considering the risks involved… dramatic sigh

"I couldn't seem to find a position I was comfortable in." His eyes were downcast as he said this. Any shortcomings Aya admitted were rare, and a big deal to him. Tohru was touched that he would choose to share this information with her on such an occasion. She smiled to herself, realizing she had believed the hebi did no wrong. She really was naïve.

Haru was grinning slightly. He had to admit, he had wondered about the 'trio' and their experiences. He didn't mind sharing, and didn't see why they would either. Sharing provided many fun opportunities. Kyo had frozen mid chew and stared at Ayame with flames behind his eyes. 'That idiot can't be serious. I mean.. this is Tohru! And… she's not even blushing! What's more, I don't wanna hear any of this!' Yuki… poor Yuki, his thoughts moved from murdering his brother to a guilty curiosity…. The way his mind worked, he wondered if Honda-san might wish to share something about her 'experiences' as well. Something about hearing her say it…His face immediately colored, darkness swirling behind his eyes.

"Ah! But she told me it didn't matter what position I was in, so long as I was in control. We were trying to get started, and she kept telling me to do it harder, but it just wasn't happening for me. I was mortified! Ayame finished the statement going into his pained soap opera actor's voice. He stood and moved behind Tohru, placing his hands on her shoulders, and leaning forward, his hair brushing the sides of her face. She was blushing furiously. She could actually smell him… his shampoo… and something else she couldn't identify. She was feeling a bit dizzy. She couldn't muster the courage to look up, for fear everyone would notice.

Had she looked up.. She may have noticed that Yuki, and Kyo were staring incredulously, Hatori trying his best to ignore the speech and enjoy his meal, while Haru and Shigure had slight grins playing on their features.

Aya decided it was time to make his move. "I didn't know what to do. I couldn't except defeat, its not in my character! I went to my most trusted friend. Hatori…my pillar.. The strength on which I can base my every move..!"

"Oi Aya" Came a mock pained voice across the table. "Ha-san is your most trusted friend? I… I thought I was your most trusted!"

Ayame looked apologetic and leaned further over Tohru to smile seductively. "Gure… you know I was referring to 'friends' in that statement. I never mentioned intimate friends with whom I-" "ALRIGHT you damn snake, if you're going to get on with your DAMN story, then GET ON WITH IT so we can all finish our meals in peace." Kyo growled from the end of the table. He wanted this over with. His leg was falling asleep.

"Ha-san has such .. control… such skilled hands.. Sharp eyes and he handles everything so sensually! I even convinced him to use our student council status to advertise a possible business at school. Hatori (sponsored by the head, who had two daughters of his own he would like taught by Hatori) spread the word through school and was able to attract his target market of young, inexperienced boys and girls.

(At this, Haru even looked up a bit surprised. The ever stoic doctor advertised this? Boys?! He was impressed. Yuki was still at a loss, trying to avoid embarrassment, but realizing rather painfully that he had missed some thorns in his pants, and Kyo, who was watching the hebi with sharp eyes, was ready to pounce if the damn pervert put his hands on anything other than Tohru's shoulders.)

"Initially it was a huge success. So reliable, full of stamina, aware of the correct safety procedures, yet willing to make the experience as pleasant as possible for both and not afraid to try out new techniques" . I was on the verge of designing uniforms, so they would be easily recognizable if anyone wanted a quickie during the break. However.. It wasn't to be! We found that an inspector was to visit the school soon, and the head terminated our booming business in fear of negative recourse! It was traumatic! The students mourned the loss of Hatori's talents for days! (Somewhere in all this, Hatori grumbled stating that Ayame was exaggerating on everything.)

Ayame maintained his sad forlorn expressions before he looked around at the table's occupants and squeezed Tohru's shoulder's in excitement, causing her face to flame and her head to tilt down. "Yuki! My dear brother! Kyon-kitchi! You're both of age now! You could take lessons with Hatori too! I even think doing it together might improve your relationship! I know Tohru would love to come along and show you what she's learned! All three of you could do it for the first time together!

Yuki and Kyo dropped their chopsticks at the same time, their faces unable to decide if they wanted to pale or flame. Their eyes were wide and empty.

'Oh dear.. ' thought Aya in mock shame. 'I do believe I've caused their brains to explode…' Shigure was even staring at Aya in horror. 'That's right.. ' Aya mused. 'Gure doesn't know! This is too wonderful..'

Tohru smiled and snapped out of it. "Oh yes! That would be a wonderful idea! And.. I could help you both! I.. Don't pretend to know everything.. But Hatori-san taught me a lot of things that evening, and I'm sure I could at least start to show you what I've learned. It would be fun!"

Ayame had to choke back a snort. Tohru had just unknowingly played right into his 'melt their brains' conspiracy. Hatori was watching the ceiling, trying to remain disconnected from Aya and his foolishness. During this drawn out story, everyone had either stopped eating or finished. Tohru smiled happily at the idea of helping Yuki and Kyo-kun learn such a useful skill as she had learned. She leaned over to begin gathering the dishes when she found herself face to face with Haru. He grinned and offered his hand to take the plates. She smiled and allowed him to help. She leaned back up and felt something pressing against her behind.. She slowly turned her head to find that she'd backed into Ayame without noticing and was now pressed intimately against him. He arched a delicate brow with a smirk as she started to panic and mumble apologies, her eyes wide and face flushed for what had to be the millionth time today.

Haru came back over for more dishes, and took her arm along with the plates she was carrying into the kitchen and to the sink.

Now the fun could begin, Haru style.